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Topics - Mom1Step2

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Parenting Issues / Piercings & tatoos ... & maybe a little marriage
« on: Sep 06, 2013, 08:54:42 AM »
Just curious...
(facts: Florida, child is 16 & female)
Pretty sure I know the answer, I just wanted to know if anyone had any experience.
With joint legal, can either parent sign the waiver to allow a minor to get a piercing/tatoo? From all that I can find, it looks like only one parent needs to sign. Sure it may be possible to say after the fact... "You can't do that!". The problem is... the hole or tat is already there.
Another question... along the same lines... From what I can find, it requires both parents (unless one is dead, or the parent can prove they are sole) to sign for underage marriage. Of course if the one parent somehow pushes it through, the other parent can probably get it annulled. Anyone have experience with this one?
Man it's fun being the parents of teenagers!

Custody Issues / changing birth certificate - Florida
« on: Mar 17, 2012, 03:24:03 PM »
DH just picked up kids from spring break visitation with BM...

She had YSD (11 yo) tested for paternity with some guy she claims is the BF. I do not know who administered the test.

I do know that some tests are admissible and some are not. I also know that cases have been won by fathers that have raised the kids even though they were not BF.

My question is: can she change the birth certificate without a court order?

She told DH at pick up that she will have the results on Wednesday & she plans to then change the birth certificate immediately before court (mid April).

Back ground: DH has school, EOW, & EOH. BM has summer, EOW, EOH, & all school breaks. This has been in place for 6.5 years.  Everyone lives in the same county in FL.


Parenting Issues / Cell Phones
« on: Feb 23, 2012, 08:50:33 AM »
 I have a new one for ya!
Two step daughters live with us during school & mom during holidays & summer. They have cell phones paid for by their Mother's Mother. In the past when the kids get bad grades or into other trouble, they get restricted from their phones & other electronics (depending on how severe).
Last week YSD got caught by her DH texting at school. He told her not to do it again, or he would now allow her to take the phone to school. A few hours later she did it again. She was texting BM from school telling her to check her out early (it was Friday of BM's weekend).
When DH picked up the kids Monday (holiday weekend) he was told that if he prevented YSD from taking phone to school, Grandmother would report him as having stolen property.
When he got home he called the Sheriffs department & spoke with an officer. Yes indeed charges could be filed against him for taking the phone, even it he just made her leave it home. He would be depriving the authorized user of use.
The only way out would be to return the phone to the Grandmother. But she would just take it to YSD at school, so we would have to repeatedly return it to her (if we even knew YSD had it, she could hide it).
We will be going to court in April, so DH plans to bring it up, but what a mess!

General Issues / Exceptions
« on: Jan 30, 2012, 12:23:48 PM »
I guess I am asking for opinion more than anything:
DH & BM had hearing about if the children could testify around a month ago. It was ruled by the General Magistrate that the children would not testify.
Once the 10 days were over, a final hearing was scheduled. BM had no evidence to present to show cause for children to move in with her. She didnt even have nonsense evidence, none. General Magistrate rulled, no change in custody.
Now (just before 10 days) BM has filed a Exception to the final rulling. Her exception is: I think the kids should be allowed to testify without parents present.
My feeling is that first: She is filing an exception to the second rulling about the first rulling. Is this even allowed?
Second: Again, no cause was shown, are you kidding?
Any thoughts?
Background: Florida. Kids live with DH during school, BM has summer, spring break, Christmas, & eo holiday. This has been in place for 6 years.

Second Families / Being a step parent
« on: Jan 30, 2012, 08:04:25 AM »
Some days it is hell being the spouse of someone in a custody dispute.

You get so much of the blame for what is wrong. You are trying to steal the children away from the other parent. You are over stepping your bounds. You don’t treat your step children the same as your bio children. You speak when you shouldn’t, you don’t speak when you should. You will always be the bad guy, no matter what. You watch your step children in pain. You watch your spouse in pain. You watch your own children in pain.

The thing that has been getting to me recently is being the support to my husband. I feel like I have to be so strong & always look at the positive side of things.

“Everything will be ok. Just keep your resolve. Don’t let her bully you like that. Careful what you say to the kids. If this scenario happens… at least you can look forward to this! You will do fine in court, don’t worry. She has nothing to go on. Even if she proves this, at least there is that. Everything is going to be ok.”

While I say all this, I share the same worries as him but I can’t let on. He is already crazy with worry; me breaking down wouldn’t help at all. I have seen him loose all hope before & it is not good.

I love those kids like they were my own. Just remember that I am not allowed to say that, because then I am trying to steal them from their mother. I see the hurt their mother is putting them thru, but I can’t say a word. That would be bad mouthing her, even if it is true.

During all of this I also have to play the devils advocate. He gets so distracted with the hurt that he and the kids are in that he can’t see the whole picture all the time. I look at all the things that could happen:

“If she presents this, you have to counter with this. Don’t say that to the kids because it will come back on you. She might be doing that because she is thinking this. You know if that happens, then this will probably happen. I heard the kids say this earlier, you may want to check. Don’t forget about this. If she says this, she probably is leading up to that.”

They have lived in our home for over 6 years now. I was there when the youngest graduated kindergarten. I was there for the eldest’s struggle with reading, for all the conferences, the tutoring, and the subsequent tears. I was there for their passage into adolescence & middle school. I was there for the oldest first kiss & first heart break. I was the one that taped the garbage bag on the cast for shower time. I was the one that scraped the nits out hundreds of times. I was the one that cleaned up the buckets of vomit when all three girls got a bug on the same day.

While I realize that their mother was missing out on the firsts, and the chances to care for her children… I am sorry for that. That she missed out, but at the same time, she was the one that dropped them on our doorstep one day. I did all I could, not because I had to, but because I loved them.
All the while I am raising my own daughter amongst all this turmoil. Her father & I get along fine. She watches as her step sisters play their parents off of each other. She sees how consequences are different. She knows that while her father & I make her work for what she wants, the other girls only have to ask. She loves her step sisters & she hates her step sisters. Then again, isn’t that what sisterhood is all about?

General Issues / Heart breaking for DH & SD
« on: Oct 31, 2011, 10:10:21 AM »
DH had mediation today. BM stated that YSD is not his & wants paternity test. Apparently YSD has been talking on the phone with her "Real" dad on BM's weekends.
DH is so distraught. His heart is breaking. It angers me so much that she is putting YSD through this even before it is offical. Poor girl is going to be so messed up no matter what the outcome.

Custody Issues / eviction
« on: Aug 22, 2011, 01:12:48 PM »
Just a quick question.
We will possible be going to court soon. BM is asking for a reversal of custody (we have school, she has summer).  According to the kids she & her boyfriend were kicked out of her last place (a letter was on the door that said they had to be out by x date).  There are no official records showing an eviction that I can find (and I know where to look).
Question is:
Would a letter from the landlord be admissible in lieu of an offical eviction notice?
Is it even worth our time to try and get this (does this help prove that BM is not stable)?

Parenting Issues / MySpace 9 as 19
« on: Jun 30, 2009, 11:49:04 AM »
My husband has two daughters 12 & 9.  The live with us during the school months, and their mom during the summer.  Each has alternating weekends during the other's time.
We have been having a doozy of a summer this year.  The mother lost her job (she lives with her Mom).  She has lots of spare time on her hands now to make everyone misserable.  She is working overtime on the kids.
She constantly tells them she misses them soooo much and just dies when they are away.  They need to live with her because she can take care of them so much beter... etc etc.  She also encourgages bad behavior with us, and "older" behavior in general.  She has been through about 30 "serious" (not kidding) partners in the last 5 years and beleives that every woman needs a man to take care of her.
My husband just found out that both girls have MySpace pages.  The 12 yo is signed up as a 13 yo.  Which isnt that big of a deal (kind of upsetting to us, but ok).  The 9yo is signed up as a 19yo.  This is very troubling to us.  Husband called ex (Mom) and asked that all of this be taken down that it was unexceptable.  She refused saying it was fine, she was watching them.  I realize we can probably write to the site letting them know the children are underage.  But there is nothing to stop her from opening new pages for them (we assume).
Any suggestions on what we should do here, or should we just accept and move on?

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