I am a father to a 5 year old boy who lives in South Dakota, I am currently stationed in Texas but will soon be stationed in North Carolina. Son was living with his mother off and on until August of this year. She then placed him with his grandmother and did not notify me until approximately one month later. I have asked her if she would please let me raise him until she is able to care for him herself, she refuses. There is no court order in place for custody but up until September she had always allowed me to visit him when I was home on leave and would take him for about 2 weeks at a time. Come September when I attempted to visit with him she said that if I showed up at her mother's house she would call the police.
I pay child support. Until October we had just made a deal between the 2 of us and I paid her monthly. In October we had a hearing for it and is now court ordered, but it's a bit of a strange case. Since child is living with grandma, support is sent to grandma which is what I requested because it seems fair.
I do have an attorney in SD, but things are going very very slowly. I retained him in September and the mother has yet to be served with anything. I am seeking joint custody with me being the custodial parent. I was able to speak with my attorney yesterday and finally had to say if something can't be filed by the end of this week I'm going to have to retain someone else. Today he emailed me a copy of what he is going to submit to the court. I looked at SD laws today and it seems that once his mother is served there will also be state statutes of visitation attached to it and that visitation shall basically be established. Does this mean that until we go to court to establish custody I am still entitled to exercise visitation? I am very concerned because of what happened in September and she has already said that I can come and pick my son up for Christmas but I'm afraid that once she gets served she will not allow that to happen. Without court ordered visitation you can see the dilemma.
I do understand that if I go to court and come out with being the custodial parent that it will be my job to facilitate my son's on-going relationship with his mother. I have offered to pay ALL costs associated with travel, I also offered to continue to pay support to his mom since I knew that she depended on it financially (this was before it was ordered to go to grandma), I also said that I wouldn't ask for support from her and I'm more than willing to do whatever else I need to do to maintain their relationship...ie, frequent calls, webcam, etc..
Also, my attorney suggested to get a home study done but I've looked and looked and can only really find information that pertains to families getting a home study done in order to adopt. Any suggestions? What are my chances? And can I petition the courts for temp custody since he is not living with his mother or do I have no leg to stand on because there isn't already a standing order??
I pay child support. Until October we had just made a deal between the 2 of us and I paid her monthly. In October we had a hearing for it and is now court ordered, but it's a bit of a strange case. Since child is living with grandma, support is sent to grandma which is what I requested because it seems fair.
I do have an attorney in SD, but things are going very very slowly. I retained him in September and the mother has yet to be served with anything. I am seeking joint custody with me being the custodial parent. I was able to speak with my attorney yesterday and finally had to say if something can't be filed by the end of this week I'm going to have to retain someone else. Today he emailed me a copy of what he is going to submit to the court. I looked at SD laws today and it seems that once his mother is served there will also be state statutes of visitation attached to it and that visitation shall basically be established. Does this mean that until we go to court to establish custody I am still entitled to exercise visitation? I am very concerned because of what happened in September and she has already said that I can come and pick my son up for Christmas but I'm afraid that once she gets served she will not allow that to happen. Without court ordered visitation you can see the dilemma.
I do understand that if I go to court and come out with being the custodial parent that it will be my job to facilitate my son's on-going relationship with his mother. I have offered to pay ALL costs associated with travel, I also offered to continue to pay support to his mom since I knew that she depended on it financially (this was before it was ordered to go to grandma), I also said that I wouldn't ask for support from her and I'm more than willing to do whatever else I need to do to maintain their relationship...ie, frequent calls, webcam, etc..
Also, my attorney suggested to get a home study done but I've looked and looked and can only really find information that pertains to families getting a home study done in order to adopt. Any suggestions? What are my chances? And can I petition the courts for temp custody since he is not living with his mother or do I have no leg to stand on because there isn't already a standing order??