Hi All,
I have done a dragnet through many of the forums looking for effective solutions to the big conflicting custody issues especially regarding visitation. All I can say and probably like many of you out there, is this is not an individual experience and most certainly one that is crying out for solutions. Basically I have done and been through the standard denial stuff, the accusations of child abuse sexual and physical where the courts issue a TRO and place restrictions. Fortunately I was always cleared and the accusations found to be unfounded. But I do understand that the way the courts and DV advocates work tirelessly to achieve is to be right once no matter how many times they try, that is all it takes.
The other standard tactics of course many of us are familiar with, (Is there a compendium somewhere where people can do a check list of the methods used and what they can expect ? After all this has been going on for at least twenty years and the courts have not changed in figuring it out or so it would seem ). So really there is not much more I can add to some of the stories have many have posted.
I am however looking for methods of presenting the argument to the court in a way that they cannot refute. I did in my last trial get all the medical records, all the police reports and all the missed visitations along with CPS reports and deposition testimony. Unfortunately they were all declared hearsay, (yes I used an attorney and he presented them all as exhibits) I did try as a last effort and at great financial cost present what was supposedly one of the top Psychologists who deals with custody matters and in fact who wrote many books on the subject, but the judged ruled his testimony, testing and research 'not credible', and this psychologist has written many books on the subject and wrote a few one that lawyers use as a reference. SO be warned about wasting your money with psychs.
The biggest obstacle of course has been the GAL, from authorizing missed visitation so the former spouse could go see her friends, changing schedules and interfering with placement in general to swimming lessons for a three month old and myriads of other excuses, even representing the former spouse in court when the former spouses attorney was on vacation. My attorney at the time was doing a lot of expensive talking with the GAl but would never let me know what the meeting were about.
Regardless up till now I was always able to see things through and somehow get to see the kids, who are now 6, and 7. But the judge has ordered them to be 8 and 9 along with other misfinding of fact and law, but I a certainly not going to go back into court and let him know his judgement is impaired.
Now the former spouse is being coached by an advocacy group on how to stop visitation and avoid the courts, basically I am informed that the standard practice is to keep them away as long as possible and after about 6 months to a year or longer then the judge will rule in her favor and give her sole custody because the legal scenario is constructive for a judge to rule that way.
Thanks
I have done a dragnet through many of the forums looking for effective solutions to the big conflicting custody issues especially regarding visitation. All I can say and probably like many of you out there, is this is not an individual experience and most certainly one that is crying out for solutions. Basically I have done and been through the standard denial stuff, the accusations of child abuse sexual and physical where the courts issue a TRO and place restrictions. Fortunately I was always cleared and the accusations found to be unfounded. But I do understand that the way the courts and DV advocates work tirelessly to achieve is to be right once no matter how many times they try, that is all it takes.
The other standard tactics of course many of us are familiar with, (Is there a compendium somewhere where people can do a check list of the methods used and what they can expect ? After all this has been going on for at least twenty years and the courts have not changed in figuring it out or so it would seem ). So really there is not much more I can add to some of the stories have many have posted.
I am however looking for methods of presenting the argument to the court in a way that they cannot refute. I did in my last trial get all the medical records, all the police reports and all the missed visitations along with CPS reports and deposition testimony. Unfortunately they were all declared hearsay, (yes I used an attorney and he presented them all as exhibits) I did try as a last effort and at great financial cost present what was supposedly one of the top Psychologists who deals with custody matters and in fact who wrote many books on the subject, but the judged ruled his testimony, testing and research 'not credible', and this psychologist has written many books on the subject and wrote a few one that lawyers use as a reference. SO be warned about wasting your money with psychs.
The biggest obstacle of course has been the GAL, from authorizing missed visitation so the former spouse could go see her friends, changing schedules and interfering with placement in general to swimming lessons for a three month old and myriads of other excuses, even representing the former spouse in court when the former spouses attorney was on vacation. My attorney at the time was doing a lot of expensive talking with the GAl but would never let me know what the meeting were about.
Regardless up till now I was always able to see things through and somehow get to see the kids, who are now 6, and 7. But the judge has ordered them to be 8 and 9 along with other misfinding of fact and law, but I a certainly not going to go back into court and let him know his judgement is impaired.
Now the former spouse is being coached by an advocacy group on how to stop visitation and avoid the courts, basically I am informed that the standard practice is to keep them away as long as possible and after about 6 months to a year or longer then the judge will rule in her favor and give her sole custody because the legal scenario is constructive for a judge to rule that way.
Thanks