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General Issues / BM claims work interferes with new schedule
« on: Aug 25, 2014, 10:39:28 AM »
DH and BM are required to use a Parenting Consultant to decide issues they cannot.  The PC decisions are legally binding after two weeks if neither party files in court for a decision to be changed.  And even if one or both parents disagree with a decision they’re required by CO to follow the decision until a judge changes or affirms it. 

Interested to hear opinions on this…  BM is high conflict, so it makes PC decisions that are not in her favor very difficult and stressful.  Recently she brought 2 issues to the PC.  She wanted to discontinue the SD’s Thursday overnight at DH house and to change the exchange point.

Two years ago, BM (custodial) moved 40ish miles away and claimed SD were missing school activities etc. by having to come to DH house every Thursday.  The PC met with SD to get their input (they’re 12 and 15).  They corroborated BM’s claim they are missing school activities on Thursdays, and suggested they come over another night.

The PC decision was emailed to us last week.  The Thursday overnight is now to be Monday, and the exchange point was moved six miles closer to BM.  HOWEVER, the PC also ruled all exchanges are to happen at this new exchange point.  In the past, with the old schedule, DH was driving them to school every Friday, and picking them up from school every other Friday (for our weekend with them).  When BM claimed she was doing most of the driving, she was very wrong.  We were doing 3 times the driving she was.

BM sent DH and email saying she can’t meet on Monday and Tuesday mornings because she’s going back to school and her classes may interfere (she’s been talking about these classes for months but has not registered).  BM then sent the PC an email telling PC that her work interferes, and she’s unable to comply with the new driving requirements.  Her story keeps changing, and we suspect she’s lying about her work schedule.  She works overnights at a fast food place and claims she gets off work at 7am.  OSD told us it was more like 4:30am.   

We are really gun shy about the PC decisions.  BM had one overturned when she moved the girls 40ish miles away without tell DH.  She changed their school without his knowledge.  But since she’d already moved, the judge overturned the PC decision.   If this one ends up in court, would/could a judge force BM to change her work schedule to accommodate this new arrangement?  She works shift work and has altered her schedule multiple times in the past (but now suddenly can’t).     

General Issues / Adderall refills...
« on: Jun 09, 2014, 09:55:45 AM »
I'm not sure there's anything that can be done about this, so this may be more of just a rant… 

YSD is on Adderall for ADHD.  As of last summer, the doctor instructed us to only give her the meds on school days.  He was concerned about her lack of weight gain.  BM was using her insurance to get the meds filled (even though DH's insurance is supposed to be primary).  Each refill was $5, so she didn't bother asking for the $2.50 from DH. 

Fast forward to last month.  DH decided to check YSD prescription records at CVS.  Turns out, BM had the Adderall refilled every month, even though they're prescribed for just school days (the doctor allowed a refill every month).  When we calculated school days vs. pills she's received she should have more than 30 extra.  When DH asked her about this she became defensive and seemed to over explain what happened (all of it was BS).

She emailed DH last week that she had to get the Adderall refilled and since she no longer has the same insurance, the bill is now $54 a month, and DH owes her $27 (uncovered medical is split 50/50).  DH is resisting paying her because she should not have needed the refill.  She did something with all the extra pills.  When confronted about where they went she claimed she's given us 20-25 extra (Dr said we can give them to YSD on weekends if social situation required it).  She's given us 6 extra since last summer, of which we still have 4.  We have emails with her where she clearly resists giving DH any extra pills when we asked for just a couple, it's pretty obvious she didn't give us 20-25. 

BM has a history of drug use and I would not put it past her to sell some of the pills.  Her husband currently has 2 judgments against him for about $25k, I'm sure they could use the money.  She is threatening to take DH to court on this issue.  I am so frustrated that she's getting away with this.  Of course she didn't collect on the previous refills, she didn't want us to know she was getting it refilled so much.  DH will be attending the next Dr appointment to understand why the Dr would allow the refill so often. 

Father's Issues / BM going back to school - Wants more CS
« on: Sep 26, 2013, 09:05:36 AM »
  BM informed DH today she plans on going back to school in the spring and will be reducing her hours to part time (not sure how many hours that means, she currently works about 32 hours a week and is considered full time).
She said she's going to request a modification in CS since she'll be making less money while in school.  She also plans on asking the courts to require DH to pay a portion (more than 50%) of any fees associated with extra activities for the kids.  DH/BM currently each pay for the ones they enroll them in, respectively. 
Below is the statute from our state that addresses underemployment, unemployment, and employed on less than a full-time basis. 
We don't know what she's going to school for, or for how long.  Currently she works fast food and makes $9.40 an hour.  My concern is DH will be hit with higher CS because BM can't handle school and working fast food (her current job) at the same time.   Would BM have to prove she'd increase her income after school is done? Subd. 3.Parent not considered voluntarily unemployed, underemployed, or employed on a less than full-time basis. A parent is not considered voluntarily unemployed, underemployed, or employed on a less than full-time basis upon a showing by the parent that:
(1) the unemployment, underemployment, or employment on a less than full-time basis is temporary and will ultimately lead to an increase in income;
(2) the unemployment, underemployment, or employment on a less than full-time basis represents a bona fide career change that outweighs the adverse effect of that parent's diminished income on the child; or
(3) the unemployment, underemployment, or employment on a less than full-time basis is because a parent is physically or mentally incapacitated or due to incarceration, except where the reason for incarceration is the parent's nonpayment of support.

General Issues / BM won't use both insurance policies
« on: Jul 08, 2013, 03:01:44 PM »
BM is now receiving benefits at work and recently added SD’s to her medical and dental policy.  Per the CO DH is to carry insurance for SD’s and he does, and uncovered expenses are split 50/50.  As it stands with the insurance companies, DH’s insurance is primary and BM’s secondary.  Prior to BM adding them, the SD were covered by MA, so any uncovered costs were paid by the MA.

YSD is on Adderall (not a cheap drug).  BM decided that since the out of pocket is less using her insurance, she is going to use her insurance to get the meds.  Since DH’s insurance is listed as primary, we can’t go back to DH insurance and file a claim.  The primary has to be used first.

DH has explained this to BM but she doesn’t care.  She refuses to use DH’s insurance first (and then file a claim with her insurance for the extra benefit) and she refuses to change her insurance to primary (DH can’t).  Her excuse is that she can’t afford the out of pocket using DH insurance first.  DH tried explain the out of pocket may be higher, but the net cost will be less (because we can run it through both insurance companies).

This is the first month DH and BM had to pay for the meds, DH finally gave in and gave BM half of what she paid for the meds.  However, next month he wants to prorate the payment based on what the final cost would be if she used both insurances.   

This does not sound unreasonable to me.  Thoughts? 

Also, DH has also offered to get the meds, but BM refused that too.

General Issues / Medical Assistance
« on: Nov 13, 2012, 11:15:24 AM »
BM contacted DH recently to tell him she's proud to say she is taking the kids off Medical Assistance.  After some back and forth, DH's determined the kids still qualify for it.
Medical Assistance picked up all uncovered medical expenses.  YSD has ADHD and has expensive medications. 
Bottom line, removing them from MA will cost both parenets more money.  Again, BM said she's doing this out of pride.  Does DH have any say at all about this?
They share legal custoday.  BM has physcial, and her income (or lack of it) is what qualifies the kids for MA.

General Issues / Money BM owes...
« on: Jun 28, 2012, 12:58:57 PM »
BM owes DH $500 for a retainer he paid on her behalf about a year ago.  It was a retainer for the PC they’re required to use.

Over the months we’ve tried collecting from BM.  We finally had an agreement that she’d pay us $10 a week (better than nothing!) until it’s paid off.  We even agreed to let her wait until her husband was off disability to start paying. 

The day for the first payment came and BM didn’t pay.  When DH asked her about it she said she’s paid over $500 in the last year for a math tutor for SD (have never seen a receipt).  This tutor was hired by BM with no discussion with DH, nor did BM ask for money when she hired the tutor.  Never mind that SD math grade was never above a D all last year.  We believe BM hired the tutor to help her case in changing the girl’s schools (which she did without DH's knowledge).

DH offered over and over to do the tutoring (for free obviously) but BM would never agree.  To add to it, we’ve paid over $2400 over the years for karate, swimming lessons and other various activities for the kids on our time (more than BM has paid for a tutor).

So, BM is now saying she will not pay us the $500 because we owe her more than that for the tutor and if we file in court for it she’s sue is for ½ the tutor money.

Two questions.  Where do we file for the $500?  Family or Small Claims?  And, could DH be held accountable for ½ the tutor money? 

General Issues / Charging interest...
« on: Apr 18, 2012, 06:16:01 AM »
If DH has to pay a retainer on BM’s behalf (for a Parenting Consultant, CO to use – BM doesn’t have the $), is it reasonable to charge her interest for the ‘loan’?  He has to put it on a CC and we’ll pay interest on the money, can we pass that on to her?

General Issues / Parenting Consultant
« on: Nov 29, 2011, 08:00:46 AM »
Does anyone have experince with a Parenting Consultant?  In DH divorce they are required to use a PC before bringing issues to court. 
They had one for the last 16 months or so, but BM refused to follow the PC decision after about 14 months.  BM filed in court to have the PC removed, she was denined.  The PC then resigned becuase she felt she was ineffective (and really she was since BM wouldn't communicate with her).
In the 8 page agreement BM and DH signed with the previous PC, there is a clause about choosing a new PC when/if needed.  The current PC sends a list of 5 names and BM and DH go back and forth stricking names until one is left.  BM refused to participate.
DH's attorney filed for a hearing for a PC to be appointed (court date in January).  BM will be pro se.  BM is telling DH she can not be forced to spend money on a PC and will not ever use one again. 
It's very clear to me (and any sane person) that BM and DH need a PC.  Mediation won't work because BM will walk away and change her mind.  A PC's decision is court binding after two weeks if a motion to vacate the decision wasn't filed in court. 
I'm very concerned that BM will get away with not using a PC.  How can the courts force her to use one?  She is low-income (by choice), and we've offered to pay her part if she pays us $10 a month back.  BM wouldn't do it. 

General Issues / Court date interfers with parenting time?
« on: Nov 12, 2011, 08:32:13 AM »
DH had attorney file for a motion because BM refuses to work with parenting consultant.  Their divorce requires them to use one.
Court date is on a Thursday at 3pm.  DH's parenting time starts at 5pm on Thursdays.  BM is saying there's no way she'll be able to get the kids to the exchange point because of the court date and is telling DH he won't see the kids that night.  Depending on how long they're in court, this is possible. 
DH tells her she has plenty of time to find someone to drop them off, court isn't until January.  And that he plans to send someone in his place (they share legal).  BM then goes on to say she's not leaving the kids with anyone but DH or me (SM).  OK, which one is it?  You can you get them there or not? 
Also, Step dad has every other Thursday off, and court falls on his off Thursday.  For over a year, he's been doing the drop off on those Thursdays (just did it this past week).  BM is saying he has to work (I'm sure a lie, but can't prove it). 
Bottom line, can BM refuse DH time because of the court date?  They live 40 or so miles apart so DH picking them up at BM's house isn't feasiable time-wise (need homework, dinner time etc).
I know DH can't require her to find someone to drop kids off, but she's been trying to noodle out of the Thursday nights for some time and uses every excuse she can find to not do it...
Lastly, DH suggested BM contact his attorney to discuss a new court date if it's such an issue.  BM responded it wasn't her issues and she's done discussing it.

General Issues / In forma pauperis
« on: Oct 18, 2011, 06:13:02 PM »
DH and BM were in court this past August.  One of the issues BM filed a motion for was to discontinue DH's Thursday overnights with the kids (BM was moving and didn't think it was feasible).  However, once in court she agreed to keep the schedule the same as long as DH can get the kids to school on Fridays.  We've done that. 

But now BM tells DH she's filing again to remove the Thursday visit.  ???  There have been no changes that warrant this.  She's come to DH almost every week with another complaint.  All minor issues.  I'd bet my paycheck she's annoyed that she has to drive so far for the exchanges.  Judge didn't change that either.  She's at the mercy of where DH will meet.  We were (what we consider to be) fair and are driving the same distance as before the move, just in another direction (towards BM's new town).   

We were JUST in court in August - and the issue of Thursday overnights was discussed, I'm assuming a judge would not be happy to hear this same issue again. 

The kicker, DH and I just found out is she's able to file at no charge.  She's claiming poverty.  She doesn't work full time (she could if she wanted to).  At this rate we'll be in court several times a year... 

When calculating poverty for court filing fees, is the household income considered?  She is NOT below povery if her husband's income is considered.

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