I haven't been on here since 2004 when Soc was still around. Man was he always helpful.
Anyway, I would like people's opinions on what they would do in my case.
I am NCP of 7 year old child. Divorce final in 2005. Joint-Legal custody. I live in Pa., mother in NY.
From the very beginning since DD was born the mother has seemed to be against getting proper medical care for child. Child is not vaccinated but is in school. I wanted the vaccs, the mother did not. The matter was not settled in court. Mother at the time said she'd wait til DD was 2-3 to get the shots. That never happened.
Mother was forced to do well-checks which she did at 1st but records show just 1 check-up since she was 3.
Prox a month ago I noticed a rash on child's torso. I am an EOW dad so I didn't get to see when it actually appeared. Fast forward 4 weeks later and when child is here rash is still present. It's not an itchy rash and does not bother the child but it's been there too long for my liking.
When I returned DD to the ex-wife this past weekend I confronted her about the rash. I asked what she thought it was. She didn't seem concerned. When I told her to have it looked at she replied "what good would that do?". Right then I knew she hadn't been taking DD to any doctors in awhile. Mom suggested it might be a "birthmark that appears later in life". Do you see what I am up against here?
Next day I called DD's Doc to find out when she last had a physical, what appts were made prior to that and if DD was scheduled for an appt. in the future.
The last physical was 1/09. This was to get into school I assume and ex's hand was likely forced here by school.
Prior to 1/09 that last visit before that was 11/07 but not for a physical (unknown)
So by 11/11 DD will have had 1 physical in 4 years and mom doesn't seem to want to take DD to Dr to have rash checked out.
The next time I have DD I have a dr. visit for myself and will take DD along to have the rash looked at.
Also, child has not been to a dentist yet and she might need braces.
So we have no vaccines, no physicals and no desire to see dr. for things like the rash and no dentist.
Mom is running amok doing things her way which I feel is not acceptable at all.
I am in the middle of gathering more info and will speak to my attorney friend when i have enough info to move forward.
I am assuming Mom will not have rash checked by Dr and I will have to be the one to do it on my dime. Mom has insurance and gets plenty of CS from me.
Over a period of 7 years Mom has shown a pattern of in my mind medical neglect and is doing things in Mom's best interest and not child's.
I am so disgusted by this that I am seriously considering going in for change of custody. I can't let this go on.
Also, it is my opinion from observation over the years that Mom has mental issues and would likely hang herself in court (as she did previously)
Am I overreacting here?
Shouldn't physicals and dr. visits for ailments be a common sense type thing?
Has anyone ever had an issue like this and what was the outcome?
If more info is needed please ask and thanks for reading
Anyway, I would like people's opinions on what they would do in my case.
I am NCP of 7 year old child. Divorce final in 2005. Joint-Legal custody. I live in Pa., mother in NY.
From the very beginning since DD was born the mother has seemed to be against getting proper medical care for child. Child is not vaccinated but is in school. I wanted the vaccs, the mother did not. The matter was not settled in court. Mother at the time said she'd wait til DD was 2-3 to get the shots. That never happened.
Mother was forced to do well-checks which she did at 1st but records show just 1 check-up since she was 3.
Prox a month ago I noticed a rash on child's torso. I am an EOW dad so I didn't get to see when it actually appeared. Fast forward 4 weeks later and when child is here rash is still present. It's not an itchy rash and does not bother the child but it's been there too long for my liking.
When I returned DD to the ex-wife this past weekend I confronted her about the rash. I asked what she thought it was. She didn't seem concerned. When I told her to have it looked at she replied "what good would that do?". Right then I knew she hadn't been taking DD to any doctors in awhile. Mom suggested it might be a "birthmark that appears later in life". Do you see what I am up against here?
Next day I called DD's Doc to find out when she last had a physical, what appts were made prior to that and if DD was scheduled for an appt. in the future.
The last physical was 1/09. This was to get into school I assume and ex's hand was likely forced here by school.
Prior to 1/09 that last visit before that was 11/07 but not for a physical (unknown)
So by 11/11 DD will have had 1 physical in 4 years and mom doesn't seem to want to take DD to Dr to have rash checked out.
The next time I have DD I have a dr. visit for myself and will take DD along to have the rash looked at.
Also, child has not been to a dentist yet and she might need braces.
So we have no vaccines, no physicals and no desire to see dr. for things like the rash and no dentist.
Mom is running amok doing things her way which I feel is not acceptable at all.
I am in the middle of gathering more info and will speak to my attorney friend when i have enough info to move forward.
I am assuming Mom will not have rash checked by Dr and I will have to be the one to do it on my dime. Mom has insurance and gets plenty of CS from me.
Over a period of 7 years Mom has shown a pattern of in my mind medical neglect and is doing things in Mom's best interest and not child's.
I am so disgusted by this that I am seriously considering going in for change of custody. I can't let this go on.
Also, it is my opinion from observation over the years that Mom has mental issues and would likely hang herself in court (as she did previously)
Am I overreacting here?
Shouldn't physicals and dr. visits for ailments be a common sense type thing?
Has anyone ever had an issue like this and what was the outcome?
If more info is needed please ask and thanks for reading