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Messages - Jim3000

Pages: 1
Visitation Issues / RE: 50/50 Arrangements (2-2-5-5 method?)
« on: May 31, 2006, 09:58:30 AM »
You are lucky to have a sensible relationship with your ex.

I am disgusted by "the system" that I had a lot of hope in. The realization that "shared parenting" was even an option was encouraging. In practice (in Ohio anyway) it is on the surface only. My custody case in going on two years now.

The mediator we were assigned had no family court experience and never read our shared parenting plan. I doubt he'd ever read one. Another wonderful line that haunts me was when he said - after 7 hours of mediation - that I just needed "to be validated as a parent".  I knew then that the whole process was doomed.  He also told me that I "didn't know how good I had it". That is not comforting when you are sincerely trying to make the best situation for your kids after you've given them the disservice of spliting up their family. Eventually you just settle for the best you can do.

Visitation Issues / RE: 50/50 Arrangements (2-2-5-5 method?)
« on: May 25, 2006, 04:55:17 AM »
I don't think anyone was implying that you're a bad mother. I was suggesting that many people unfairly take that view when a mother does not have a full custody. That is my ex's issues with 50/50.

I actually had a court appointed mediator say the same thing; that it might "look bad" if I (dad) made the kids' doctor's appointments. What???

Visitation Issues / RE: 50/50 Arrangements (2-2-5-5 method?)
« on: May 25, 2006, 04:52:55 AM »
I (we) have been divorced for 4 years. What I am really trying to accomplish with 2255 is to expand the periods of time that I have with them - a longer weekend and one more day in between.

Since I have them so much more anyway (nearly 50% instead of planned 30%), I want to add consistency. As complicated as it sound, that's what 2255 would do compared to what we actually do now. My ex didn't want the kids last night or tonight, so at the last minute I have them. I love it, but it is confusing for them.

As for changing my job, I can't do that where we live without a major pay cut which would be a serious blow to my ex's budget. I totaly support both households. She is re-married, but he doesn't exactly work much.

Visitation Issues / RE: Being a NCP Mom...m
« on: May 17, 2006, 12:51:51 PM »
What is funny is that I already have them nearly 50% of the time. Shared Parenting Plan gives me 30%, but she is more than happy to get rid of them when it suits her.

I have no hope of custody or getting her to follow the SPP (a joke to her). My strategy is more time and consistency for the kids.

Visitation Issues / RE: Never tried the 2255...m
« on: May 17, 2006, 09:33:02 AM »
Unfortunately, my work requires travel, which I could work in in the 2-2-5-5 arrangement. I have no intention of changing CS.

She does in fact struggle with the "status" of our arrangement and how it "looks" to the world.  I can't change that but for many reasons the  I believe my kids need this arrangement.  

Visitation Issues / 50/50 Arrangements (2-2-5-5 method?)
« on: May 17, 2006, 07:59:46 AM »
I am a NCF in the course of "tweaking" our shared parenting plan to secure spending more time with my 3 kids (among other things - this case is going on 2 yrs). I already have them above and beyond our current plan.

Due to work constraints, I could not do alternating weeks. I did read somewhere - I forget but took notes - of a plan where we alternate 2 days with dad, 2 with mom, then 5 with dad, and 5 with mom. The 2-2-5-5 method.  It amounts to 50% which is what my ex has an issue with. I love this proposal, but mom is opposed to any "official" 50% arrangement (it looks bad - I already have them 48% of the time).

Has anyone tried this arrangement? Any suggested alternatives to alternating weeks in order to share them 50% of the time?


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