Messages

Thank you for summing it up for me.  I do not feel like I am pushing her though.  I listen mostly but feel very helpless.  I have suggested the things that others have said on here to her.  I do not know what she will do.  I have told her I will help her in anyway I can.  Thanks again for understanding.

I only mentioned it briefly because since her mother and I confronted him he has stopped.  Now it is more control and mental abuse.  I know how hard that is to prove.  I have told her to talk to "a third party" who is not her family or close friend.  They tried counseling but he stalked her to and from every appt. so she quit (once she felt like he was going to run her off the road).  Basically, I am scared and concerned for her.  Thanks for your help though--any insight is better than mine right now.

I wish I could get her to see this.  She is too afraid.  First, I need to get her to see the danger.  We see it--family and friends.  He has called her doctors and boss to convince them that she is very unstable.  I am so scared for her.  Will a judge look down on her for "running" with the children.  That is her biggest fear I think.  Thanks for the advice and I will see if I can get her to keep track.

I am so frustrated!  My friend is looking at divorce.  Her husband checks all her receipts and emails and phone bills.  We all think he is a weasel but now I know.   They have children so I am very concerned.  He is trying to say she is crazy and needs to be committed to a psyc hospital.  He hs hit her but as soon as we have accused him of abuse he now plays mind games.  I told her to cut back hours at work to be sure she is with the kids due to her concern for them.  She is afraid that she will need a full-time job if he does file for divorce.  I think she should due to the mental abuse.  Any ideas to help her divorce without losing her kids would be great.

My husband is a paramedic who works 7am-7am with 48 hours off. We have been married 10yrs and this is what we did.  Every third day he would go to work.  Then during the summer when he would get off at 7am, he would pick his son up and keep him overnight take him home to second day around 6pm.  Work the next day, etc.  When he got into school, DH would pick him up after school and take him to school the next day.  This only works if both parents know what is going on with homework.  Communication with teachers is key. The every other wkd and holidays still stand.  We are now in the teen years and it has come a more stable schedule...staying with one parent during the week and the other eow and vacations.   Good Luck!

Thank you!  I feel better knowing that I am not over reacting.  SS is registered with our school and is to start here.  As for cs, we haven't had to pay since 01  (I believe) due to the amount of time we had ss and we were to pay half of med., half clothes, half school books, half lunches, etc.  --and we do all the driving.  

My dh is NCP and bm is CP.  SS is 13 and has always lived with her and visited us eow regularly through the week until this last March.  He came to live with us full time.  SS saw bm 1x in April  and 1x in May. SS and bm had a huge blow out and really do not talk.  We encourage him to call (he won't) or when(if) she calls, we have him talk to her.  We drove him to school every day 20miles until school was out.  We were suddenly full time with him which is exactly what we wanted.  I feel like she has fallen off the earth.  DH is thrilled he is living here.  SS seems happier and very well adjusted. bm agreed to take dh and ss shopping for school clothes.  Great  but that is about it.  We asked if she wanted him 2 days last week and she said no. DH doesn't  want to have anymore fighting so he won't draw up new papers(it might make her mad).  She wants everything in her favor(ie taxes).  I wanted to know if we really should have papers drawn up.  I just don't trust her.  I also understand the reasons for dh not wanting to go to court either(she usually draws it out---$ we don't have).  Today I heard she has a part-time job so she can buy new things.  I recently had to go part-time at my job.  Should we persue cs?  If this situation were the other way around, you know she would.  I just feel like we should at least have papers stating dh is physical custody.  Any thought would really help releive my worry. Thanks.