Messages

One thing that you COULD do, is go into the pharmacy yourself and buy 6 months supply for her at once, and you pay for it. ;)

You should be able to take a copy of the court order into your bank and show it to the bank manager and make a cash withdrawl from your account. ;)

I know, amazing isn't it?

DD was born, we were together for 5 years, split up when she was 3.

Now... the 33 yr old man has married a 23 yr old young lady, DUMPED his daughter, stopped phoning her... oh.... it was priceless.

The last time she saw him? January.

The last time he called her? May... 3 min on her bday. She asked him why didn't he call or show up, he got mad at her for 'questioning' him and ended the call. :(

She emailed him,  he told her he refused to email w/ her.

He invited her for dinner ONLY if his wife could go. DD asked if it could just be the two of them together, she wanted to talk serious w/ him about problems they were having, he said "Wife goes as a "Family" or else I don't go and you don't go." We were SO sad for her and she was so sad. She felt like he made her choose between him or her and it wasn't a fair question to ask a then 11 yr old.

She has lived w/ DH and I for 9 years since we got together and she is really happy here, w/ her 5 yr old brother (DH and I together) and she is 'safe' emotionally here so she told him " I am going to stay home with "MY" family thanks" and that was the end of that convo.

I am not kidding on this one. Seriously, his happened less than 6 weeks ago.

I haven't had a CS increase since 1999. Ex is making almost 10K more per year, is married so no more paying all bills on his own and last financial disclosure that CS enforcement made him do showed $25,000 deposited into his account over 2 months. Hmm... right? If you were only getting $258/ mo for your 12 yr old child, he helps with nothing, buys nothing for her and she sleeps in the guest room and doesn't so much as have a drawer to put a sock in... getting the picture? This isn't like some of you fantastic fathers here who actually PURCHASE a book for your kids to read at your house...

So I file for CS increase. He and I had an agreement in December that I knew he made more but I would wait 6 months as a favour because he settled his arrears. ($14,000)

I file for Increase (as discussed)

He replies... with... ready??? A PATERNITY SUIT. *roflmao*

DD is 12. 5 years old.

We were exclusive high school sweethearts attached the hip, never out of each others site, when I got pg.

We haev had over 80 appearances in court for his 'issues'.  We are on document #79 after court since 1997. Split up 9 years ago.

He has NEVER filed for Paternity, ever.

He admitted to being the father, declared it, we have a court order stating it that he signed.

He has never in all the years disputed it, until I filed for CS increase this time.

Needless to say, our Judge yelled at him, called him names, made the baliff hold his arm while I was escorted to my car because ex is normally violent, and she said if he EVER stated the "P" word to our 12.5 yr old she would make him pay $5000 fine for 'therapy costs'. LMAO

Speaking as a mom here who went through this w/ ex before he disappeared.

The Judge told him that the visits were with him, not his wife. If there was siblings involved it would be different but the child had the right to be w/ a parent however, if I needed childcare or someone to care for the child I 'could' offer it to the SM. Ex was out of town for 2 of his weekends in a row and wanted make up time. Judge asked him why and he said that he was going out of town for a wrestling match (hobby). Judge told him that make up time is for when there is something that is impeding your ability to have your parenting time, ie emergency work, etc...  And that it wasn't Mom's problem that he could take the time off to travel etc while I had to change my plans to accomodate him choosing not to take her.

It is a hard decision but I have heard Judges tell him no to make up time because he make the choice to skip his time. And that DD didn't have to go spend the weekend w/ his wife when she could be home w/ her parent. It was "parenting time" and he wouldn't be using that parenting time so it would be given to mom instead. kwim?

Ocean I have to disagree just a bit.

Although yes father could care for sick child, it isn't in the childs best interest to take a vomitting child w/ a fever who feels bloody aweful and is under the age of 2 and ask the child / aka toddler to move to another place to continue being sick.

My experience is most little ones want to stay w/ their mama when sick and vomitting... but that is just what I have learned w/ my two kids.

I think make up time is a good idea, but keeping in mind teh age of the child (under 2) and that the child is vomitting... a car ride isn't a great idea. :(

I hate to make a suggestion that might be .... bad.... but... thinking here is it POSSIBLE that the reason that Mom is wigging out and doesn't want the lawsuit to go forward is SHE HAS ALREADY received money from the 'party' and just hasn't told you guys about it? Is it possible that they have a private settlement w/ her and she hasn't told you guys about it so she is getting this money from them and she doesn't want you to file  as you will find out about it?

I am so sorry to suggest that... I have been reading your story for a while and I feel SO SO SO sorry for your SS. That poor kid needs to get the heck out of the home he is in as it is dangerous!! And the Judge is negligent for not doing something about that!

And as for grandma having him during suspension, he should be at home or with a parent, not out w/ grandma. This is serious!! *smacks head*

Good luck... I wish you every ounce of luck in the world that this goes your way!