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ya im looking for idea's cuz im kinda feeling dazed by the whole thing.

she's not a german citizen but has "residence" supposedly which is like saying a green card with no work visa (she cant work and has no income). her fiance work's on a military post there with an aafes job at the px (he's actually wanted for child abandonment). her parents pay her bills, they live near by, both dod teachers at the high school.

according to the american bar association a foreign divorce is recognized at a courts discretion (which i cant imagine a us judge being happy that my iraq deployment was labeled as abandonment). but then ill have america saying im married and germany saying im divorced so. fuck idk maybe if the courts forced her to return for a divorce hearing? could they do that? i mean does anyone have any experience with being forced to appear in court for divorce?

my wife/ex took me to german court while i was stationed there (wife was born in Oregon, i was born in illinois, son was born in germany but with soc card and us passport) under the reasons for divorce she claimed that my 15 month deployment constituted abandonment (lived in the house i payed rent on and had a joint checking account at the time, which she cleared out for her BF). it went to court with only a month for me to prep and i chose to argue jurisdiction (all americans and married in the state of ohio not to mention the SOFA agreement) my lawyer was told to shut and they agreed with my ex that i had abandoned them by serving in iraq and gave her sole custody. im now back in the us, she's in german and refusing to let me see my son.
does anyone know a way to fight this? does this divorce even count in american court? god i need help. i love my son. i dont care about my ex or revenge for all the pain she's caused, i just want him back here in the states where i can see him.