Messages

Should I just go and get DD, and tell grandma tough, she can come back when BM is better?

That's EXACTLY what I'd do.  Or better, I'd wait till the next visitation and then just keep her till BM is able to care for her.  Cripes, it's insane how BM's will go to any length to have someone other than dad care for their child when she's not able.  When our Bm was in the hospital with pregnancy complications, SD stayed with grandma.  Recently when SD had her wisdom teeth removed, SD stayed with grandma, even though dad had the entire week off of work.  It's crazy!

That is your daughter and even without FROR or joint custody, I'd have her in my care if the other parent wasn't available if it was me.

I'm new here,  so forgive me if I don't know what I'm talking about in your situation - BUT is it really such a big deal for them to stay with the stepmom?  Appearantly you were scheduled to have some kind of surgery and they're staying with dad and SM while you recover - meaning they Planned for this time that the kids would be with them.  But since your plans changed, they should rearrange their plans too?  Assuming the kids live with you and this is a temporary situation, I really see no reason for you to kick up a stink over it.  

She specified your name?  That's even more stupid for her.  Parents are permanent;  Stepparents sometimes aren't; Girlfriends/boyfriends often aren't.  It' s stupid to mention one of them by name in a parenting plan.  If that list had gone to a courtroom, a judge never would have allowed it.

  The Father, ofcourse,
>agreed to all of them.

I think he's as crazy as she is!  LOLLOL

>2.   Father agrees to never threaten Mother with the kids.

What about Mother?  Can she threaten Father with the kids?

>
>3.   Father agrees that Mother's instructions given over the
>telephone shall be followed by both children over instructions
>given by his girlfriend.
>

What about if he gets married and no longer has a girlfriend?  

>7.   Father shall not call Mother any names whatsoever.

So . . . . . what is he supposed to call her?  LOLLOLLOL
>

>11.   Child support to the mother shall continue until the child
>finishes high school or turns 18 years of age whichever occurs
>earlier.

Ooh, she's gonna wish she hadn't done this one.  Lots of seniors turn 18 before they graduate high school.  
>
>>13.   Father shall always available to provide child care when
>Mother cannot watch the children to make sure she does not
>have to hire and pay for a babysitter.

Cool, most BM's I know would RATHER pay a babysitter than ask the dad to spend extra time with his child.  That's a good one - until she realizes what she's done.

What a loon.

Didn't you say his visitation is Tue, Wed, Thur?  That will never be on non-school days except during vacations.  If those are his visitation days, then you do not have the right to deny those days.  Yes, the preschool that you have the child enrolled in is important, but not more important than spending time with is other parent that he doesn't see often due to where he lives.  YOU think he 'should have' made this trip during the Christmas vacation, but perhaps he couldn't.  Do you want him knocking on your door telling you what YOU 'should have' done?  Neither of you have that right.  If that's his visitation time, then he should get that time.  You are in contempt if you deny it.

Amen!!!!  I totally agree.

Well, first off, there has to be a 'father applicant' to compare the DNA with, right?  What if the mother doesn't know?  What if there are 10 potential fathers that the mother 'signs up' and the state has to pay for 10 DNA tests per child?  or 20?  I've watched Maury Povich a few times (the king of 'who da daddy?' LOLLOL) and I've seen the same girls on there time and time again testing yet ANOTHER set of 3 men to see if one of THEM is the daddy.  In theorey it's a good idea, but I think they're going to find that in practice, it's not going to fly.  

I do think however that if they put some stipulations - like 'No welfare unless you can identify the father so that we can go after him to help' then it might be a little more successful.  But then you're going to have a bunch of women 'claiming' rape just to keep from giving up the daddy (who promises he will still come cuddle with her and buy her clothes and jewelery - nevermind feeding the BABY - if she will just not tattle on him).  It's insane the lengths men and women go to these days.  All the rampant premarital sex.  All the shirking responsibility.  All the neglect of what is important.  

I think Governor Bush has the right idea, but I don't think his method will work out well.  I think he should promote abstinence education and that might be more effective.

Not to be snarky, but SO?  You can't let her motives and stupidity affect YOU doing the right thing.  Sending her a calendar and school papers doesn't mean you have to work with her.  It's just common courtesy, IMO.  If she wants to look like a mental patient, so be it, but if you can prove that you have behaved like a NORMAL parent/co-parent, then you're way ahead of the game and it doesn't matter one iota what she does.

Well, I"m sorry that everybody else seems to smell defeat in your situation.  I on the other hand believe you are in a unique position to get what you want.     Yay!  Fist off, keep on trucking as is.  Don't let on to her that you want to split up.  Document your care of the child - including when you have to take off work to take care of him (even though is mother is a SAHM).  document the things you do for him (keep a journal at work so the mom wont see it.  "Today I bathed child and spent 30 minutes reading to him.  Then after work I took him for a walk in the park.  When we got home there was no dinner on the table so I cooked soup for us and we ate together.").  document the times you take him to the doctor or to extracurricular activities.  You're in your 3rd year at school, just keep it up and get a good job.  After graduation, find an attorney and present your stuff to him/her and go from there.  You can do ANYTHING when you see an end to it - you can stay with this woman (I wont preach to you about the immorality of a sexual relationship outside of marriage) for the short term when you know it's for the good of your son.  Bond, bond, bond with him in the meantime.

How far does mom live from you?  Maybe YOU could provide her with school info so that she doesn't have to contact the school.  Give her a school calendar, tell her who your son's teacher is, occasionally send her some of his school work.