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There's nothing there about vacating one, but there's nothing there PROHIBITING the vacating one, either.  What you'll need to find is either a statute of court precedent that deals specifically with the vacating of a judgment in general.

What does your ex say about submitting such a motion? Will she agree to do it with you voluntarily?

Sounds wierd, but that could be the state's law on the issue. Don't take their word for it... look it up in the state code. Your state may (should?) have an online database of the complete code, along with keyword searchable features.

Georgia does not officially recognize the vacating of a protective order per se, but they do give the courts the discretion to reverse their own decisions within the same terms.

Another odd thing is their "not accepting it". Clerks are not suppose to give legal advise. Sounds like that is what they're doing here. Again, don't take their word for anything... find your state code and KNOW what it is that you're doing. It's going to vary too much from state to state to get a definitive answer here.

Did you call it a "motion to dismiss"? If so, that COULD be part of the problem. The term "dismiss" generally refers to criminal charges and civil charges and allegations. In contrast, a final order cannot necessary be "dismissed". Rather, it must be "vacated" (more common) or "terminated".

It could be of benefit SOMEHOW, but most likely not with an appeals court. An appelate court does not look at new evidence. It only looks as the court record to determine if errors of law were made.

You mentioned that your judgment was "awful". That's of no use to an appelate court. Rather, you must determine whether or not the judge acted incorrectly. Unfortunately, judges have a great deal of lattitude and discretion in "family" law. Far more, in fact, that in criminal or non-family civil matters. That's why there are so few appeals from family court.

You should pour over you order LINE BY LINE and compare each element of his judgment with the ACTUAL LAW which he onstensibly referred to for guidance. You don't need an attorney to do this type of legal legwork if you are diligent. If you find something that you believe is in error, take THAT information to your attorney.

For what it's worth, I have decided to run for the legislature in my state on a platform or reforming family law. Our courts can only work within the framework of the law that is provided. To really change things, we have to change the LAW. I intend to introduce legislation that will take family matters out of the hands of the judges for whom there is no prerequisite of qualifications in the ares of family psychology or welfare. A system which is clearly BROKEN cannnot merely be tweaked in order to get it to work.

Best of luck

I won't presume to know all the answers to a question such as as this However, I have just such a motion filed at this time with the courts.

My ex asked the court for a restraining order. We had no custody order in place and she was trying to keep me away from our daughter. I was persistent in my (peaceful) attempts to see my daughter. She claimed it was "harassment".  At no time did I threaten or act in a violent fashion. The TRO that she received was a "stalking" order. (Still amazed at this.) It was good for ONE YEAR.

During the course of the year, she continued contacting ME. Once, we both had to appear in court at her request; she wanted attorney fees for an action for support modification which she had brought against me (and dismissed!). She allged that I approached her in open court and handed her a check for the amount she wanted, and that doing so violated the order. (At this point, I had not seen my child for a year. We believe that she wanted me in jail over the holidays in order to avoid being confronted with Christmas visitation.)

While this issue was pending, the 1-year TRO concluded. She moved that it be made PERMANENT on the basis of the *alleged* violation. In turn, the judge made the order permanent on exactly that basis.

Shortly thereafter, the charge against me was brought to trial. After talking with both me and my ex, the prosecutor, who appeared visibly VERY upset at the frivolity of the charge, filed a motion with the judge to nolle prosequi (dismiss) the charge against me.

Following the dismissal, the ex continued to call me, email me, solicit me to meet her in public, approach me in public and enjoin me in coversation, etc.

After months of this, I finally submitted a motion to the court asking that the order be terminated (the term "vacated" could have also been used), on the grounds that

1) a substantial change in circumstances had occurred since the order in which the grounds for the order (the charge) had since been dismissed

and

2) that my ex herself had "vitiated" and undermined the purpose of the order by continuing to contact and solicit me repeatedly and through various means.

Interestingly, the motion was filed on the morning of Monday the 25th of September. Her response would have had to be filed on Wed the 25th of October. As of today, the 28th of October, I have still not received a copy of the response (and the mail has already arrived). While one COULD still be forthcoming, I believe it's possible that she might be intending not to respond at all and simply accept the the possibility of a dismissal by default. The only alternative would certainly be that she contest the dismissal, driving a hundred miles to my county for filing, apperances, etc.  In so doing, she stops short of "endorsing" any dismissal with a motion herself, but seems willing to accept one on my own initiative.

I say all this to point out that:

1) if MUST have a basis for asking for a motion to be vacated

2) you cannot re-argue facts brought up at trial

3) you cannot introduce any facts which were known or could have been reasonable known at the time of trial

4) if you ex truly doesn't care about the order, she may not contest it

5) if you ex is willing to have the order dismissed herself, all she has to do is file a motion asking that it be (that, in fact, is the simplist way)

Good luck!

In my state, it is CALENDAR DAYS. If someone is served on September 20 with a motion, and they have 30 days to which to respond, then their answer must be filed with both the court and put in the mail to the mover by October 20, OR the next day following in which the courthouse is open for business.

We should communicate ideas. It's an uphhill battle, but not without precedents. Be sure to look at a federal case for intentional infliction of emotional distress that was successful at the appelate level: Raftery v Scott.

I got to speak with my daughter for the first time in three weeks today. It's been three months since her mother let her see me at all. She told me how much she wants me to make her Halloween costume for her (I made her costumes meticulous by hand for four years). Her mother walked in and my daughter asked her when she would get to see her daddy. I could hear her mother's cold voice sternly say: "That's not going to be happening any time soon."

Good mother?

Thank you.

And yes, this judge will not get off the hook quite so easily.

On September 22, 2006, after eighteen months of legal research (and personal hell), a lawsuit was finally filed against the mother of my child. However, it was not your typical custody lawsuit. The whole thing may end up failing miserably, but something had to be done.

My daughter was born in Virginia in 1997. Although her mother and I were not married, we legitimated our child at the time of her birth using that state's administrative processes. And because we also cohabitated, we were both recognized by state law as "equal legal parents with equal legal powers in regards to [our child]".

When our daughter was one year old, we moved to Georgia, which has no administrative processes for legitimation; a court order is mandatory. Thus, when the mother of my child decided to leave the family (taking my child with her), it was difficult, if not impossible, getting my rights enforced in the state of Georgia. For at least two years, however, she was more or less tolerant of my relationship with my child, and our daughter actually spent MORE THAN HALF of that in my own direct care.

Finally, however, as the mother became increasingly controlling (and the child became increasing verbal about wanting to live with me all of the time) I went to court to get my rights recognized. Even found a federal law (OBRA 1993) that required all states to recognize actions establishing legal paternity from all other states, whether by administrative or judicial processes. The judge, a "good 'ol boy", defiantly said "I don't follow Virginia law. And I don't follow federal law."  He ordered child support but dismissed my case.

After that, the mother refused to let me see my daughter AT ALL. Letter after letter was sent to her attorney requesting that I be allowed to at least see my child, all the time maintaining that I had rights (the judge didn't take them away, he simply didn't recognize them in the dismissal). NEVER a response.

After two years of this, I had enough. The mother had moved to a different county (different judge, no pending case), so I filed a lawsuit for PARENTAL INTERFERENCE AND INTENTIONAL INFLICTION OF EMOTIONAL DISTRESS. In it, I allege that the mother intentional interfereed in my parental rights, that she did so without the protection of a court order (she has NOTHING saying that she has sole custody, and I have nothing restricting or terminating my rights), and that she did so with malice and intent to cause me emotional  distress (extensive facts and evidence support this claim). All of the elements of a legitimate tort are here. There is also included a motion for DECLARATORY JUDGMENT for an enforcable recognition of my parental rights as established in Virginia and, as yet, legally unmodified.

It is uncommon for situations like this to exist because courts commonly intervene and issue custody orders or other others affecting parental rights. Not so here. The mother didn't bother obtaining the "protection" of a court order, and my own attempts to obtain an order protecting my rights was malicously thwarted through the only legal remedy I had available.

A response is due soon, but I have already been, for the past six months, preparing evidence and witnesses. I'm not certain what chances a case like this has, but again, something has to be done; I receive email and phone messages from my daughter crying that she wants me in her life. A tort lawsuit, even if successful, certainly won't solve all of the issues involved, but it may just put this case back on track towards real negotiation or settlement as opposed to simply a unilateral decision by one parent to totally alienate their child from the other.

Please wish me luck!

I understand a lot about narcissism, but this is one aspect I can't quite figure out. My ex also has extreme NPD characteristics and had the exact same attitude in regards to property, blatantly just keeping things not only that didn't belong to her but some things for which she had little or no use.

And a ring? Yes... she was given an engagement ring a year before she left (we never married, as well), but didn't return it. Actually, I didn't even mention it for about year, following the tradition that "a gentleman doesn't ask for it back, but a lady never keeps it".

When I finally just noted that she still had the ring, she blew up, as if she had been waiting for the very word to be mentioned every day for a year! I casually asked why she wanted an engagement ring from a person whom she never intended to marry. Her reply was a defiant: "One day, this will be for my daughter!"

Now, I've never been accused of being a genius, but that claim has never made much sense to me. Plenty of mothers give daughters their wedding rings, but I cannot imagine at all what sentimental value an engagement ring from someone she hates and never married would have.

My only guess about the whole thing is that it's simply yet another act of "control", a strong NPD characteristic. Of course, an NPD would want to legitimize their desire for control, so maybe the whole "it's for my daughter" claim is simply that... an attempt to put a benevolent face on a belligerent act.