Misty,
Sorry for all the trauma you've endured at such a young age.
What your kids are showing is a symptom of the chaos and conflict that has been in their lives since they were born. I'm sure you can appreciate that.
Unfortunately, the best advice I can give you is to say the Serenity Prayer on a daily basis and hope that you do find the strength that it seeks.
At the moment, your kids may be beyond help in any capacity that you can provide.
Perhaps the best thing that you can do is to stabilize your own life right now. If your fiance is a good man, and if his children are good children; then that sounds like a good thing.
Once you're settled into your marriage, perhaps then you'll have greater resources to examine options for how to best help your own children.
In the meantime, you have an obligation to protect your home. If your home is with your future husband and his kids, then you need to set your foot down as to what behavior is acceptable in your home... and as much as it will hurt you, you may wish to prohibit anyone from entering your home who can't follow those rules.
Immediately, I'd recommend you read the book called Breakthrough Parenting, by Dr. Jayne Major. It gives excellent insight into how to best approach parenting situations, including difficult kids. You can order it from Amazon, and there's a link to it on my website.
Best of luck to you.
Sorry for all the trauma you've endured at such a young age.
What your kids are showing is a symptom of the chaos and conflict that has been in their lives since they were born. I'm sure you can appreciate that.
Unfortunately, the best advice I can give you is to say the Serenity Prayer on a daily basis and hope that you do find the strength that it seeks.
At the moment, your kids may be beyond help in any capacity that you can provide.
Perhaps the best thing that you can do is to stabilize your own life right now. If your fiance is a good man, and if his children are good children; then that sounds like a good thing.
Once you're settled into your marriage, perhaps then you'll have greater resources to examine options for how to best help your own children.
In the meantime, you have an obligation to protect your home. If your home is with your future husband and his kids, then you need to set your foot down as to what behavior is acceptable in your home... and as much as it will hurt you, you may wish to prohibit anyone from entering your home who can't follow those rules.
Immediately, I'd recommend you read the book called Breakthrough Parenting, by Dr. Jayne Major. It gives excellent insight into how to best approach parenting situations, including difficult kids. You can order it from Amazon, and there's a link to it on my website.
Best of luck to you.