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ok our bm had a son when she met my dh, my dh raised him from 1 1/2 until he was 7 (ss born in 95) there was no support order that whole time for that son the bm refused too, when they (dh and bm) split it was agreed on custody of my ss and no child support. Bm first moved to Fl. in Jan. 99 , in 00 she moved back here for the summer, then to Mississippi  and moved in with her grandparents because she left her older son in Fl. with family and they sent that son to Mississippi to her gp's and they  were going to get custody if she didn't move there but before she moved she told me all of this and that her granparents told her she could move in with them and keep her son if she filed for support on the bf....................since then she has mentioned a few times of waiting on her cs check.......so as we don't have 100 % proof but we do know:
We live in Indiana
Bm in Mississippi (with her gp's)
Indiana will compute her income as min. wadge
If she does not have an obligation (ie. if her cs order for older son's cs order is from Ms. which only computes ncp's income) our state will compute her one. If you have piror cs order or legal obligation thats get taken out of your income in our state.

There is online a cal. thats step by step and does the forms.....as for custody.
Custody
Joint Legal
Shared physical
Dad one week before school until one week after
Mom anyt ime child is out longer then a three day weekend
Vistation
any reasonable
Dad even year Christmas vacation (year to claim)
Mom odd year Christmas vacation (year to claim)
Child Support; No direct support it would be equal (our attorney we have now said that the first attorney added this to satisfy the court but she should pay support????)

Bm filed for reversal in 2002, in 2003 it was denyed but the courst added at least one phone call a week.
 

ok she is not working by choice, but I do know our state will compte her income as min., the only other two issues are she does have another child that she has custody of and our state allows legal obligation for prior, but we don't know hers, and the medical.

Are you telling me we can ask her, not the attorney, us. Like dh send her a letter requesting the info, telling her she can black out personal info.  ie. like if she has a cs order for the other child she can black out all of the personal info just leave her legal obligation viewable.

As of now there is no cs order, for five years. Dh hubby will be filing he has finally seen that a child should be support by both parents.  We have not talked with bm about it yet, she never gave us a clue she was filing for reversal when she did. My point blabk question is should we mention it to her at all, how should we is yes? We would like to talk with her, hubby only wants her to pay min. cs we know that she does not have to disclose anything to us or our attorney with out a court order and we really would like to at least hammer out the medical, for the past five years they pay their own and out cost , hubby would like to keep it that way 1. for the hassle, 2. it would reduse her weekly obligation too.  How would you as ncp view this, we will not ask her to agree, sign anything without her attorney as we wouldn't , we just want talk as a buffer to see what she would want per say, and show her example forms, direct her to the Indiana childsupport guidelines.

We could just let our attorney handle this, yes, I just don't want him to blood sucker or piss her off ,we would like to at least know for the medical part so if she agrees to that we can say we already agreed to that so their is no expense there...........thats really all we want to shoot for.

I am in Indiana,,,,and yes thats the way they do it here. The bm would be paying of his arrears.

I know in our state he could,,,,but what she was ordered to pay would be put against his back pay.  So you wouldn't see a payment untill she paid all the past due.

I guess now I have a question, this was brought up a while back and I asked about the co thing....what if it states in the co who claims, I was told to ask the Irs from someone on here, this is the answer I got, since bm gets to claim ss in the odd years, and dad gets to claim in the even per court order they will honor it period, dad is the pirmary custodial parent and he does not need to fill out any forms for bm to claim her credit per court order gives her that right. NOW she can not claim the earned income credit that goes to the parnet that qulifies for the support test he have me the test, who supports the child more then 50%,etc. He told me that dad gets that credit because he supports ss more the nine months out of the year, and bm pays no support. This was during a conversation between a Irs and I. So is this what you guys are talking about here?

no. Infact there is no childsupport ordered in my husbands and his ex gf. co...................but if she files later down the road then yes they will.

Bd and Bm have it in their co she claims on odd years, he claims on even years. Does the court order over ride this?

This is what I was told, Indiana, the cp still has to maintain a home. But the rules were if you were current on cs then during the times you had the child for 7 days or longer you only paid 1/2. (if you paid 100 a week,during the summer weeks, the week of spring break, x-mas you would only pay 50 a week, as long as you were current.).
But now they have past a new law giving the ncp more credit for the time they have the child. And they did away with the only paying those weeks. I am told that old cases have to ask for these new rules to apply to them, but they are granted if asked. I'm cunfused by them, although we are the cp I think they should have kept the only paying half for those weeks also. I was also told that they don't count the holidays the ncp has the child because it evens out usally, but like in our cases thats when bm has ss, I guess that why I'm confused. If someone knows more about these new laws give me a shout. But anyway that what we were told, because the cp stll has to maintain a home.

fff