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Grandma I think also asked about grandson's social security check and some money to pay for everything -- and low and behold, Mom says "I'm coming home (after 3 weeks)" took son back and now Grandparents get to see him about every two weeks for an afternoon.

They are lucky that they get that much time with him. They need to stay in Mom's good graces so that they can see how he's doing. They are also continuing a relationship with him, should they ever try to get court-ordered visits. Another thing in their favor is that their son is deceased. That is usually one condition that favors GP visits. What state is this?

Figures that Mom took him back when her meal ticket was threatened.

Anyhow after two year the appeal court gave me 50-50 custody and three weekends every month; my x has now taken it to the Supreme Court, which over here will take about five years. My son will be thirteen by then and will make his own mind-up where to live; the courts or police will not go against his choice.

OK now my big situation is that I managed to access her email account and forwarded about 20 emails from her boyfriend to her and she to him dated around the time of the court case; obviously they were both under oath. I now want to submit these emails to the court and make a case that they both committed perjury; would this be viable in the states; if so, then I will have a go over here (Thailand)

This takes place in Thailand? Are 13 year olds allowed to choose their residence there?

I doubt the emails would be admissible since you hacked into her account. I could be wrong.

And I doubt anyone here knows Thai law.

Grandma has no inherent rights to your daughter. If anything happened to mom, you would be next in line as the legal parent. Grandma could TRY to get custody but she'd have to prove you unfit. It doesn't make sense for you to give custody to gma now, because mom would have to give up hers too.

Mom is bitter and jealous and trying to erase you from dd's life (but not your wallet). Don't let her win. You have rights but you have to ask the court for them. Get a consult with a family law attorney, most will do it for free or low cost. Once you have a parenting plan in place, mom has to abide by it or be held in contempt. You may want a graduated plan if daughter doesn't know you well.

We've told him several times that she is lactose intolerant yet he continues to give her milk and milk products.  We know this because at 2 she has begun asking for ice cream and has blistering diarreah every Monday after a visitation.

If this happens again, have mom take her to the doctor or ER and have it documented. If it's not bad enough for the doc to contact child services, have him write something up stating that she is NOT to have dairy products. Send that with a certified letter to Dad and warn him that if he doesn't adjust baby's diet accordingly, mom may be forced to take legal action (not sure if she'd have grounds to do that, but it might get his attention). CC it to the court to be placed in the file. If mom has an attorney, have him send the letter.

As for the other stuff, not much you can do. He can use a sitter if he wants.

This post is over 2 years old....and Soc is no longer here.

What state are you in?

Regardless, you absolutely should go for custody. At this point you have NO RIGHTS to your son. Even if you signed paternity papers, you need to go to court and file for paternity, custody and child support. Ask that your son remain in your care until the matter is heard.

Without anything "on paper", mom can come and pick him up and take him far away and you'd have a bigger problem trying to even be part of his life, not to mention an expensive  and lengthy court battle.

If she would settle for joint, that would actually be a good thing, but at his age a couple days at each home would be best rather than week to week. You can try for residential custody (and will likely get joint legal) but maybe settle for joint. A guardian ad litem would be good thing to ask for, although they are expensive. (S)he would investigate both homes and make a recommendation to the court as to the best arrangement for the child.

(btw...even with "full custody", you won't be able to "have total control over who sees him, where he goes, and for how long".)

Please talk to a family law attorney. Most will give free or low costs consults. Your court may have documents you can file, but talk to the atty first. He can help you do things right.

Oh, geez....so Mom was too lazy to get out of the car and go in and sign for it? I'm surprised they let her sign for it. Maybe have it restricted so that Mom has to sign?

I guess all he can do at this point is, when dd starts asking about his income, tell her that it's a grownup thing, and it's none of her concern. Same goes if she asks about CS.

You may be able to have Dad's rights terminated involuntarily:
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/termWI.php (http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/termWI.php)

If you don't, I agree that you should never lie to a child about something as important as their parentage. If you have a picture of Dad, show it to the child and say, that's your Daddy, or Daddy "John" or whatever.

If Dad someday decides to come around, and files for visitation, it will be awkward trying to explain to Junior who this man is. And if he ever established paternity (or if he does so later), he absolutely will have the right to ask for time with his child. You can ask that there be an introductory period. If he comes and goes, have a counsellor work with the child to deal with the feelings that would come with that.

If you can sever Dad's rights, most states require that you be married for at least a year before attempting a step parent adoption. Even if you can do that, I think Junior is entitled to the knowledge that his "Dad" adopted him. The same as any adopted child.

Did dd sign for it because Mom wasn't home?

If Mom is sharing adult issues with her, and putting her in the middle, she should be tarred and feathered.

Dad should tell Mom to button it (nicely of course ) and that if she feels a modification is in order, go for it. How long since the last one? Is Dad making more now? I hope he isn't sending Mom more than he's required to.

There are some instances where a child needs to know that CS exists. For example, 2 years ago my grandson's mom (NCP) had to spend a month in jail for non support. We (his dad and I) had to explain that Mom is supposed to pay to help Dad out and that when she didn't, the judge make her do "time out" in jail because she didn't follow the rules. I don't know how much my son and DIL tell him, but he already knows it's there.

Your dh's ex should NOT be having their daughter "interrogate" him about his finances.

CS is usually figured out using a calculation that the court goes by. What kind of custody do you have, or are asking for?

Unless your state requires CS to be paid till 21 or finished college, I also think Dad will look a bit foolish asking for it. Do either of you have an attorney?