Messages

Please, please do not allow this to go on!  One day there will be no stopping point and he may very well kill you and then what happens to your children?  They live with him and grow to be like him.  I know that this is VERY scary as it would be for anyone, but please push your fear of the "community" turning against you, and step out on faith.  There are ALOT of people out there, and I am sure in your city that are willing to help YOU.  You will have to be willing to be an outcast, but I promise that the reward will be greater than anything you can ever imagine.  I know that we come from very different religions with different beliefs, but just as you said, "Islam does not encourage abuse" and that it is kept in the dark.  What that tells me is that your religion does not condone abuse anymore than mine.  I will also guess that murder is also not okay as it is not okay in mine.  That is where this is going.  I also know that no matter who your higher power is, he/she would not be angry with you for stepping out and saving your own life, and for that matter, the lives of your children.  I am not judging you.  It does hurt my heart to know that if the wind blows today, you maybe in a coma becasue your husband doesn't like the breeze.  I know what it is like to lose a parent at an early age...it is something that you can never shake.  The pain never goes away...I want you to be around to see your grandchildren be born...

My prayers are with you...I am sorry that I have no advise, I don't know much about the Muslim religion, however I am sure that Allah would NOT agree with abuse of any other person, let alone the one that you "love" but please think about this... you are teaching your children that what you are going through is okay and they will see it as okay for them to either 1) deal with it as you are and be abused and live in constant fear or 2) become abusers themselves.  It is quite a dilema, I hope that I didn't offend you!  Best wishes!...

Thanks for sharing your story!  As you said it is finally nice to talk to people who truely understand what we are going through!  While our BM is not that extreme financially, she is a PSYCHO!  My DH is a softy too, funny, I say the same thing...Marrying me is the worst thing that will ever happen to her!!!  HAHAHA you know what they say about paybacks...

I believe sunshine is right.  Check out this web site...

http://changingminds.org/explanations/behaviors/transference.htm

It is real and it happens more than anyone cares to discuss, it happened to me...

What exactly are you looking for?

I am not sure I understand what you are asking?

Last night BM was killed in a car accident. BM had sole custody, we had standard visitation and DH paid child support. My question is do we automatically get custody? I believe that her family would fight us on this...can they? What is the likely hood that they could get custody? We are in WA. Any info would be greatly appreciated.

So happy for you!  I guess perseverence pays off!!!

Is it still a substantial change if it is only for 30-45 days?...

If BM who is the CP goes to jail (It is a HUGE possibility!) she will try to not tell us and just let her parents have SD, but...

1)  Can we (NCP) get temporary custody while BM is in jail?

2)What would we have to do to make that happen, if we can?