Messages

I know it sounds hard and complicated.  You just have to take one step at a time and start with research.  Our case is just as conveluted.  We live in IA, ex lives in TX, and IL retains jurisdiction.  I would file for small claims court in our home town since that is where I purchased the ticket.  After that, I would take the case to family court if I won and have a contempt hearing.  Use the money you 'won' in small claims court to purchase your ticket to go to Texas for the hearing.  We hired our IL attorney and do all our business by phone, fax and email.  We won't even meet him until we go to court(or the day before).  Check the Texas county the case is in and see if they provide their forms online.  Some counties in some states do.  Our IL county provides generic ones and then I copy/paste and detail it to my case.

I understand about a full life too.  Husband works full time, I work part time, stay at home mom, and full time student.  I have two years left for my bachelors degree and three years after that for my law degree.  On top of all that I handle my husband;s case.  Basically I am his paralegal.  I do the research, forms, papers, deal with the attorney, keep track of all logs and prep him for court.

Call the Texas bar and see if they can recommend any family attorneys or paralegal services.  Interview over the phone for a start and work your way from there.  It might take awhile, but as fast as things go in court, you have the time (I know a little sarcastic, sorry, its almost midnight and been a LONG day).

Every time you pay the airfare and she doesn't put her on the plane, file in small claims court(in your town) for the repayment of the airfare.  If you win this(shouldn't be a problem if you have court order spelled out and receipt of ticket and notice of some sort that stated child was not on flight), then go to family court and file in contempt.  Do this every time to establish a pattern.  Most courts will put up with this for only so long.

But my case is IL.  Would Maryland cases be relevent? I know each state plays with family court differently.

Thanks,
Lynn

Ex tried this with my SD when she was 10.  It was turned off and firmly put into my husband's closet.  We told his daughter that she was free to call mom anytime she wanted, but she had to use the house phone.

Ex is trying it again this year(daughter is 13).  I am still not thrilled and with the rules in my house it should just be put up again, but husband wasn't entirely happy.  So we compromised. Phone stays off when husband is not home (this keeps me out of the middle), phone goes on when husband is home, and the phone stays home when we go out.  If ex tries to abuse this, then phone stays permanently off.  Ex is still always welcome(sigh--not enthused) to call the house phone, but she still has limits.

We have already had trouble with the ex on this phone.  Conveniently the ringer 'broke' when daughter got to maternal grandparents.  I think it may just stay 'broken' during the visit.

Thank you, now I know where to start, I can continue with the research.  I will check later to ensure that the law has withstood time.  If it is good, we will try to incorporate in into our court case.  If there is time where we can not get to the area, then we definately want the paternal grandparents to be able to spend the time with the SD.  Right now ex makes sure they are not notified(against court order) and doesn't allow ANY visitation when the 2 sets of grandparents live about 10 miles apart.

Thank you

I know in IL, a court overturned a case involving grandparents rights.  Does this automatically make all the grandparents right cases void, or is it still an individual basis?

My husband's parents got grandparents visitation when his daughter was an infant.  He was in the Navy and overseas.  Ex was making it impossible for them to see their granddaughter.
He has since then gotten his own visitation, but the grandparents case was never mentioned in any of his hearings.  I know in regards to our own court case, if the issue isn;t addressed in the newest hearing, that part of the court order is still in effect.  ( I don't know if I explained that well)

We found out that ex dropped off their daughter to the maternal grandparents without notification to the paternal grandparents, as they are required to do, under that court order.  Should we push the issue that the paternal grandparents would like their required overnight visit as per the court order and see where it gets us?  I know in general, the grandparents don't want to go to court again, but we are going back ourselves to get some issues resolved, can we add it that ex is required to again notify us and grandparents (via email) and daughter is to continue with the overnight visits when ex has her in the area. (Patenal grandparents are very close to granddaughter even though they are denied seeing her except through our court ordered time).

Any thoughts?
Thanks,
Lynn

We are also long distance.  We get SD:

Every other Christmas break, alternating years Thanksgiving break(from time off of school, til day before school resumes)

Every spring break

Every summer for 8 uninterpted weeks(not to have 1 week before and 1 week after).

We are responsible for the Christmas/Thanksgiving and Spring break transportation  (and we have a copy of the school calendar so we can pay for the airline tickets well enough in advance) and EX is responsible for summer break.

IF either party changes dates are transportation, the party making the changes is responsible for the transportation of that visit.

Iwould file a motion in court.  Have it specified that ex MUST maintain contact information.  The minute she drops out of site, go back for contempt.  Do this everytime and have a case built up.  If she didn't get permission to move, go to court.  In most cases, they are required to tell you.  If you don't know where she is, have  a certified copy of the petition to go to her last address, if it gets sent back it should go back to the courts(they have to send out the petitions for us-IL).  Talk to an attorney, find one who will work with you and what YOU want to do.  

File a motion, that anytime the CP drops out of site, the government agencies involved, must give out the information(if possible).  

Anything will be a start

I would take a voice recorder into the supervised visits.  Make sure everything is recorded.  Try and take someone unbiased to you that can act as a witness for your visits.

File assault charges and false arrest against ex-wife/father somewhere like in small claims court.  If you win, that judgement can be held against them.  I would try and find those other 4 husbands and get to know them, see if they can help you.  See if you can use their divorce papers and a pattern with her.  Ask them if any of them got marriage counseling or therapy(her).  That might be able to be used.

Every visit, phone call, communication with everyone, record it and document it.

Because of the commotion in the supervised visitation with ex's father, file for a change in supervision.  Request maybe a social worker in the new county.  She/He would have a less likely chance to know ex or her family and be more inclined to be unbiased.

Take you name off of the checking account.  Document everything you spend on your sons.  Because she chooses daycare and not to work, in some states, the court can order her to find a part time position or change the child support amount and order her to pay the same.  Ask that because the day care is her choice, not needed, that the day care be split 70/30.  Make sure any child support is going through the court.  Do not send any money to her.  If she asks for extra, make sure you have a bill and make it out to the biller.

Make sure you have your children on health insurance.

We are a military family(both sides-us and ex) in IL.

Good luck and remember its for the kids that you are fighting.  Make sure you keep your camera and tape recorder on you at any time.  You never know if you would run into someone in the store and they want to make problems.

We have thought about changing flights, but there is nothing later that day and the next day we would have to pay about $600 for the ticket difference plus the $100.

Our court order does not define the day.  We have specific visitation such as the whole spring break for example.  We also have reasonable visitation undefined.

So now it is a waiting game.  If she doesn't put the little girl on the flight, we take her to small claims court and see if we can get reimbursed and then back to family court(where we are heading anyways) and get the visit made up.  We will be on pins and needles waiting til next week.