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Messages - awakenlynn

#41
Your right its not 100% about the 2 days late, its more about her blatant refusal to follow the court order and we know if it was the other way around she would have cancelled the visitation completely.

No, we did not contact her on the 1st because we needed to see if she would even attempt to follow the court order.  Yes, I do agree November 1st is a late date to notify the type of transportation.  And yes there was quite a price difference with the 2 days difference.

As to the flights, we are not the ones that stated the airports, that was the judge who determined which airport for each party.  So the next question is, how do we follow the court order the way things stand, there really isn't any way to do it.  Either the flights go from Dallas to St. Louis instead of Moline (which only really inconveniences us, not her) or the flight is made with a layover from Dallas to Moline, which we KNOW the ex will refuse to do.  That is one reason we had to go to court in the first place.  The judge kind of put us in a no-win situation in this case.  The ex insisted the flights be non-stop and that is the way TX works.  So the judge determined which airports when.  We did argue to keep the flights out of Chicago because of the bad weather.

I do figure we will end up in court.

Update: DH just reached ex and she is p****d, but agreed to fly out of Dallas, but refuses to put it in writing.  Now we will send her the ticket information 10 days prior to the flight (we will probably do it 11 days out) and will expect a huge arguement when she gets the flight times.  The court order says we get visitation starting 6pm the day school lets out for the holiday and we found a flight Friday night at 8pm and she gets into us at 9:30pm.

Thanks
#42
Our attorney send her attorney a note about the court order and consequences for notifying us late.  I do not believe her attorney has said anything back.  I know that ex said she wasn't going to pay her attorney, she was done with it and if our attorney wanted to talk to her(ex) he was going to have to call her (ex).  Apparently her attorney had not been notified that ex wasn't going to be using her yet.

Our attorney said we have 2 choices, we buy the ticket from Dallas to St Louis and take our chances or we get ready to court which will take more time and money.  I am hoping that because she is blatantly not following the order the judge would have her pay some of attorney costs.

Our attorney did ask us to contact ex again and try and have her put it in writing what she will/will not do, so we have something written and see where it goes from there.  DH called a couple times now and she is avoiding our calls.  Apparently she has SD not answering either, so DH had to leave a message for her too.
#43
Its been awhile since I posted here, so I will give a bit of background first:  Ex moved to TX a few years ago and had jurisdiction moved from IL to TX last year.  And then she wanted the entire IL court order over turned.  We went to court in Feb. and the judge made her order, but TX is the state where the attorneys fill out the order and the judge signs off.  Well ex and her attorney drew one up that went against most of what the judge determined and then tried to have the judge sign it behind our backs. Since judge accurately figured out ex's personality at the trial, she immediately called our attorney and we said we had no idea, so the judge drew up her own order and signed it.  That was in June 2008.

The order is we get every spring break (we pay for the ticket with flights from Austin to Chicago). 
We get 8 weeks in the summer and we must contact her with the dates no later than April 1st of each year.  Ex will then let us know if she will fly SD from Austin to Chicago or drive and meet at the court appointed city. 
We get every other Thanksgiving (from Dallas to Moline) on odd years and the 2nd half of christmas odd years and the 1st half during even years (this year) and ex MUST contact us NO LATER than November 1st each year as to whether or not she will again be flying SD from Dallas to Moline.

I forgot to mention SD is 15-1/2 now.  And that takes us up to the present.

Ex did not contact us on November 1st as ordered.  She emailed us late on the 3rd--2 days late.  Her excuse was she didn't know on the 1st, she knew on the 3rd.  OOOkkkk, not like that really is an excuse to us.  So we contacted our attorney to see what we were supposed to do since this is a new order and new state.  So our attorney contacted her attorney. 

Next problem is that the flights are court ordered to be non-stop and the Dallas to Moline flight has been sold out and unavailable since before June (and we have told her this repeatedly).  So now what to do?  We looked at flights from Austin (closer to ex) to Chicago, but we asked the judge to keep the flights out of Chicago for the fall and winter due to the weather (flights have been cancelled, delayed and held in hold patterns for hours-- so it hasn't been the best airport for SD) and the cost was like $1000.  So we checked all the airports around ex within a 4 hour radius flying into Moline trying to find a non-stop flight.  There are none.  So we started looking opposite.  The court order does state Dallas so we checked what airports the airline flew into from there and we found Chicago, which are trying to avoid and can't afford.  The only other city is St. Louis, 4 hours away from us, but we do have family so if stranded, we have a place to stay.  The flight is very affordable and ready to purchase the ticket.  We also did find a flight from Austin to St. Louis but it is alittle more than double the Dallas/St Louis ticket, and unaffordable.

So our problem is ex thinks she can excuse her lateness with no consequence and states that if the flight is any other than Dallas to Moline than we were breaking the court order and that she refuses to fly SD any where except out of Austin.  So our frustration level is up there.

Any advice?  Is she right?? 
Thanks,
Lynn
#44
Texas State Forum / RE: Bell County
Sep 26, 2006, 08:52:42 AM
No, we live in Iowa.  Ex's husband is in the military.  Ex decided that she no longer wanted jurisdiction to be in IL(where it has been for 13 years) and moved it to TX in August.

So now we are starting over;learning laws and finding lawyers.  Any good attorneys in the Bell County area or ones to avoid.  I interviewed one over the phone in Belton, but I think that is still in Bell County.

Thanks,
Lynn
#45
Texas State Forum / Bell County
Sep 12, 2006, 10:02:41 PM
Is anyone familiar with Bell County?  We are looking for an attorney, how the county court system works, what our chances are?  We have an active order from another state, what will Texas do with it?  Father's Rights groups that can help with information.
#46
Illinois State Forum / RE: Father that Needs Help
Nov 08, 2006, 09:16:36 AM
Hello,

We dealt with IL for 13 years.  First, child support and visitation are not connected.  If you have visitation ordered, send a certified letter(find it on the forms section), notifing the ex of the impending visit.  If she refuses, make sure it is done in writing.  Attenpt the visitation, meet somewhere neutral, such as the police department.  

Do you have explicit visitation spelled out?  If not, you REALLY need it.

If ex doesn't show up send another letter certified of a denial of visitation(also in the form section).  Keep every peice of documentation.  Document telephone calls too!  Don't get in it with the ex, just tell her you called to speak with your daughter.  If she gets belligerant, hang up.  Tell her if she wishes to speak with you, mail it.

You can still get an attorney if you owe one.  I am paying 2 attorneys in IL and in the process of trying to retain one in TX.  Make sure they will take payments and keep them up!  Make sure you make at least a small monthly payment to the one that left.  Get documentation of her hours.  If she dropped you before court, make sure she is not charging you for work she didn't do.

As to child support, make sure your company gets on the ball.  A company usually only has about 2 weeks(?) to start the corrected support action.  Try and make a small amount (say $5-10) per pay period.  Pay it to the Circuit Clerk of your county and and make sure you send a check or money order and a SASE and ask them to send a reciept.  MARK very clearly on the money you send it is for arrears!  
This will show the courts that you are serious about catching up, it puts you in good faith with them and chances are they won't assign anything extra.

If possible, don't answer the phone when ex calls.  Let the answering machine or voice mail pick it up.  There is no notice of privacy attached to these.  Save them and they are able to be used in court if they are relevent.

I hope this helps.
Lynn
#47
Yes, in Illinois they can extend child support through the college years.  Our case is in another county, but in court I have seen it happen.  We think ex will do this to us.  We are broke and they are rich, but she still wants every penny.  I want to go to court when SD turns 18 and change it so the money goes straight to her(school account) so ex can;t touch it.
#48
I was just in court in November, but in a different county.  The case prior to ours had that question.  In their case the judge issued notice that the child support would end at graduation.  Both parents knew the graduation was the last week of May, therefore the support was to end on that Friday.

I am not sure if different judges do it differently.  I do know that while that one case ended at 18, if the judge wants he can order the NCP to pay support as long as a child is in college(with graduation within reason)
#49
Illinois State Forum / RE: Ok
Jun 13, 2005, 07:32:48 AM
At 9, she is too young to go before the judge.  The judge may want to determine why you wnat to move to FL and if it for a new job, will it really help provide for the child better, and if it is in the best interest of the child.  

My husband's brother, can move anywhere within IL, but not outside, my husband's ex can move anywhere in the country as long as she notifies my husband and the courts.

As for the child support, send a copy of the court order to the IL Department of Public Aid, to SDU(if they are named or have presented you with withholding-which they did to us before a decision was determined), the State Attorney(if they are representing the ex), and to the circuit clerk.  Have all your documentation prepared: Support agreement, divorce agreement, letters from work stating your are on days, marriage licence(just in case), anything notating ex presently does not hold a job and how that is in contempt.  Have an updated financial affidavit prepared and request a copy from her.  Use both in court to show you are the established parent and have the custody and continued ability to care for your daughter.

Lynn
#50
Document, Document, Document!
1st) to set up any mediation, send a certified letter with return receipt to ex.  Send a copy of each letter you send to the circuit clerk to add to your court record.
2nd) Have your attorney send letters requesting mediation with return receipt, have those letters also sent to be added to your record.
3) make a copy of every written response and have a copy sent to your court record.
4)make sure your keep a copy of EVERYTHING-postmarked envelopes, letters, responses, post office receipts.
5) do not contact ex through e-mail right now.  If kids are old enough, set up an e-mail account for them, mail it to them certified, add a letter in there that you have been trying to reach them and hope this can make it easier for everyone.  Be super sweet, since ex will problaby read it too.  Send cards and letters through the e-mail for the kids.  Print copies.  Most on-line cards will send you a notice it was sent and if it was seen.  Print out both copies.  They print with dates.
6)Set up a weekly time to call your kids.  Call religously like 2 times a week.  Just say to ex, "I would like to speak with (kids names).  If she says no, ask it there is a better time to call.  Document the conversation.  Do not input your own thoughts, just exactly what was SAID.  If she gets mean and nasty.  Say that you will try again another time.  Document it.  Mark each attempt on a calendar for the judge's easy reading.
7)Send a copy of everything you do to your attorney.
I know it may take awhile, but after about 6 months of all this (like 6 letters from you, 6 months of calendars and telephone notes, letters from your attorney, e-mailed cards to your kids, etc)  Talk with attorney to see about presenting to a judge again.  See if you can wing another judge.  Every once in awhile they rotate.  

Keep documenting her unwaivering state about setting anything up.  According to the statutes, you might want to start seeking custody yourself, as what she is doing is not in the best interests of the children.  Also if the divorce was moved up and you were not informed, that should have been appealable and you should have been able to get the judgement set aside.  I would start interviewing other attornies, yours may not be strong enough.  If there is limited money, see if you qualify for Prairie State.

Lynn