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Topics - hatewelfare

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11



           I give you the order that alowed the a move to Iowa by my x last year. She has called the cops on me twice so far for minor disputs with transportation. Once was the end of my summer vistation I she called me the first weekend on Sat and wanted him returned. I said I had until Sunday night. (minor I know).

Now to the big one. Last weekend I went down to get my son. She never showed up. I was concerned and went to the police station to file a report and have them check for accidents. The officer let me use his cell phone to call her, she never answered. I waited until 1:15 and drove home. I called again...no answer, left message to call me back. I tried again on Sunday night at 9PM now answer...no call back.

Monday I called the X at 7:30 to try and see if she was home....no answer. I then called the school to see if my son was in school. He ended up coming late, the excuse, they overslept.

I'm now worried, I call my x at work and she won't say anything to me. I tell her I had been calling and she didn't pick up or return my calls and she said she nows that. I ask whats up and she says "I can't talk right now" I ask her if she'll be at the exchange piont this weekend and she says "no".

Come to find out she had my son in to be video taped and reported to CPS that I touched his butt. I spent many hours on the phone to find this out. I had to call the school, which wouldn't let me talk to him because of this "investagation" they did piont me in the right direction of calling CPS because I had no idea of anything going on.

Iowa police trasfered the case up to my hometown and I talked to an officer and gave my statement. Basicly the story goes that I touched his butt while we were in bed sleeping, my son said this. He didn't know the date when asked, he didn't know how many times this happed when asked. The officer knows this is a custody disput thing, he said he has seen many of them. They are still waiting for the video tape from Iowa.

Needless to say I am very hurt by these accusations and feel so sad for my son that is being draw into all this crap, just because my x doesn't want me to have visitation.

I talked with the Iowa CPS today and they said if the officer up here doesn't think nothing is going on the they will drop the order to not allow me contact with my son. The officer up here is going to call CPS toady to say just that. He can pretty much see through the whole thing, but needs to wait for the video, then it goes to county attorny. Which the officer said he can't see how I could be charged with anything.

I have many doctors reports dating back to birth about here bring my son in and blaming me for this or for that. One doctor wrote on the bottom "It seems they are trying to make a mounten out of a molehill"

I have no idea of what started all this, I did bring my son to the dentist the last visit and they said he had the start of gingivitus and they filled 2 cavities that were nearly absist. He hadn't been to a dentist in over 3 years.

My son is 9.

Now the question.

1: Do I go back to court for full custody on this?

2: How much weight do judges put on these false accustations with regards to a custody change?

3: X has tried this before about 5 years ago and it was thrown out. Does that help establish a pattern?

4: With just this small bit of info what do you think my chances are of a custody reversal are now?

Below is the order from the judge...she seemed like she didn't want to allow the move but had to under MN law. She made several comments about how we need to work together and she would like to see parents live in the same town or within 50 mile of each other.


STATE OF MINNESOTA IN DISTRICT COURt
COUNTY OF TODD SEVENTH JUDICIAL DISTRICT

Court File No.
Case Type: Dissolution with Children
In re the Marriage of:

the X
CONDITIONAL ORDER PERMITTING
Petitioner, PETITIONER TO MOVE TO IOWA
WITH MINOR CHILD
and


Me (hatewelfare),

Respondent.



The above-entitled matter came for argument before the Honorable Sally I-------- R---------, Judge of District Court, on January 17, 2003, for an evidentiary hearing on Petitioner’s request for an Order allowing her to move to the State of Iowa with the parties’ minor child, over Respondent’s objection. Petitioner appeared personally, pro Se. Respondent appeared personally with counsel (My slow attorny). Also appearing was the court-appointed Guardian Ad Litem, K---- P-----. The Court gave Petitioner permission to move to Iowa with the child, subject to conditions set at the hearing and subject to further review hearing on the issue of parenting time, if the parties could not agree.

On the 12th day of March 2003, both parties appeared personally pro Se, for further hearing as to parenting time. Also appearing was the court-appointed Guardian Ad Litem, K---- Pi--------i, who had filed with the Court her recommendations as to the child’s best interests.

Based upon the arguments of counsel, the files, records, and
proceedings herein, the Court makes the following:

ORDER

1. Permission to move to Iowa. Petitioner’s request to move with minor child to Iowa is GRANTED. Petitioner’s request is conditioned upon (1) Petitioner’s full cooperation and compliance with Respondent’s parenting time as set forth below,
(2) Petitioner’s sharing one-half of the visitation transportation
obligation, and (3) upon the Court’s express retention of jurisdiction as the child’s “home state" for the purpose of custody jurisdiction.

2. Respondent’s Parenting Time. Unless the parties otherwise in the best interests of the child, Respondent have parenting time with the minor child:

a. Every other weekend, beginning at 11:15 a.rn. Saturday until 4:00 p.m. Sunday, with the exchange taking place at Windom, MN. Because of the travel time and the need to exchange at a mid-point, each party shall be prompt in meeting at the exchange point and shall advise the other immediately of any weather conditions which may make travel inadvisable.

b. Summer vacation as follows: from the third week in June through the end of the first week of August, at which time Respondent shall return minor child to Petitioner. Petitioner shall have one weekend of parenting time in June and one weekend of parenting time in July. The parties will mutually decide upon the particular dates for Petitioner’s parenting time; if they cannot agree, it will be the last weekend in June and the third weekend in July.

c. Alternating holidays as follows: Easter, Memorial Day, Labor Day, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas (Respondent to have parenting time for one-half Christmas vacation every year), and the minor child’s birthday.

d. Petitioner shall have the minor child for the weekend of Mother’s Day; however, if this causes Respondent to miss a regular weekend visit, the missed visit will be made up within two weeks, unless the parties agree otherwise.

e. Respondent shall have the minor child for the weekend of Father’s Day as part of his summer parenting time.

3. Other and Additional Times As Agreed to by Parties. The parties are free to agree to additional parenting time as needed for special family occasions and events. Both parties shall cooperate with each other and be flexible in dealing with unforeseen scheduling issues and any other matters that may arise, affecting the parenting time agreement. Both parties shall take all appropriate steps to avoid conflicts with the schedule, but shall accommodate whenever possible requests for changes so the minor child can attend important family and social events with both parents or with his friends and school.

4. Shared Oblicjation for Transportion. Petitioner and Respondent shall share equally the costs and time associated with the transportation required for Respondent to exercise his parenting time.

5. No Interference. The parties are hereby advised that this Court will view any persistent failure to cooperate, unreasonable denial of parenting time, failure to provide prompt transportation, unreasonable failure to be prompt for exchanges, or any other obstacles or patterns of resistance to parenting time, as intentional interference of parenting time. In accordance with Minnesota law, such conduct could result in a change of custody of the minor child and/or revocation of this Conditional Order permitting Petitioner to move to Iowa with the minor child.

6. Duty of Good Faith. The parties shall use the utmost good faith in dealing with each other as to issues of visitation and other matters involving the couple’s minor child. Neither party shall vilify or speak badly about the other parent in the presence or earshot of the child, and neither shall allow the child to be in the presence or earshot of any other person who vilifies and speaks poorly of the other parent. Each parent shall assist the child in making adjustments to the move, and other major changes in the home or living arrangements of the parent.

7. Suspension of Child Support in July. Provided that Respondent remains fully current in the payment of child support throughout the year as previously ordered (on October 26, 2002, as corrected in part on January 4, 2002), his child support obligation shall be suspended and not payable in the month of July every year, to allow for the additional expenses he will have for childcare during his summer parenting time, and also for the additional expenses of transportation occasioned by Petitioner’s move to Iowa. This suspension of child support for one month each year is in the child’s best interests as it will foster the parent and child relationship with the parent who does not have physical custody during the school year and needs funds to exercise parenting time. Court Administration shall serve a copy of this Order on Todd County Social Services, who shall not withhold child support in the month of July each year, provided that Respondent is current in his payment of support.

8. Retention of Jurisdiction. This Court shall retain jurisdiction of this matter as Minnesota is deemed the child’s “home state” for purposes of child custody jurisdiction regardless of the child’s move to the State of Iowa, until further Order of this Court. The Petitioner has made various representations to the Court as her lack of intent to deprive the child’s father of parenting time and her ability and intent to assist with transportation needed to continue to foster the parent and child relationship between the child and his father. Petitioner’s mother made this same representation to the Court in sworn testimony. This Court would not have found the move to be in the child’s best interest were there not continuing jurisdiction to assure full compliance and cooperation with Respondent’s parenting time.

9. Guardian ad Litem. The Respondent shall pay one-half of the total costs of the Guardian ad Litem on a schedule to be arranged with Todd County Court Administrator --------; the Petitioner, having proceeded In Forma Pauperis, has no present ability to contribute to said costs. The Guardian is hereby discharged from further duties in this case, with the thanks of the Court and the parties for her services in this matter.

10. Service of this Order. A copy of this Order shall be served upon the parties, the Guardian ad Litem, and Todd County Social Services Support Collection Officer (referencing suspension of support in July as per paragraph 7 above).


Dated this 3rd day of April, 2003.

BY THE COURT:



SALLY I----- R------
Judge of District Court
DISTRICT

 

12
Or should I saw lack of child support...I know this is a touchy subject with some, but dang it...I wish I would receive some now.

In short, I got custody of my son from his mother after 10 long years of struggling to remain part of my son's life. I endured restraining orders, police calls, long move always and finally accusations of sexual abuse against my son. That was the last straw...after she moved to Iowa and I lost the court fight judge warned her not to screw with my visitation or it would be grounds for a custody switch.
One year later the accusations came and I went a month and a half without seeing my son. After jumping through the hoops to clear my name and get visitation back I went to court for custody. 9 months later of court crap the judge made good on her threat and I won custody.

That about 2 years ago, my son is doing excellent in school now, missed 3 days last year, none this year and been tardy twice. Lowest grade is a C with 3 A's and rest B's.  Down from with her missing 7-12 days a year and tardy 14+ times a year!!!

My home is very busy, girlfriend has 4 kids herself plus one that we just "got out of the house" and is having a baby herself. I work nights, girlfriend works days...bills are piling up, food is going up, heat is going up, gas for the 800 plus miles I drive to let him see his mother is going up!

I am starting to get pissed now that I haven't got anything of support from that (I'll use it this time) DEADBEAT MOTHER.

I always paid on time and NEVER missed and was NEVER without a job while she had him. Now I am getting nothing while on the "other side." That brings me to mixed emotions. I now how hard it is to struggle while paying CS...I did that for 10 years, I went to the capital in MN and testified in front of the Senators in MN for fairer CS laws. Fairer enforcement. (I felt CS was too high and enforcent to strict for most) Now I feel like I am getting screwed.

I don't know, but it would be nice to get some help from her. I don't want her to have to struggle like I did...I don't hate her like that. But come on now I think. It's been 2 years and now help. She's only $4000 behind...not some $20,000 like other I her about in the news. But a couple hundred a month would help right about now.

I would think some women would make house payments on CS, buy cars, clothes etc etc....Well some do...my ex lost her 2005 Mazda 6 when CS stopped from me...

I had a 90 Beretta with 250,000 miles on it...guess what. 2 months after I got custody I got nailed in the side and they totaled the car, I got $1200 for it. Out a vehicle that ran great, was paid off and I am back to making payments. Oh yeh, no 2005 for me...I got a cheap '99 grand pix...which is now racking up tons of miles driving back and forth for visitation. I spend almost about what I "saved" by not having to pay CS in gas now.

I've called CS and they keep giving the run around...Iowa is suppose to handle it...call Iowa and they haven't entered it in the system yet. Call MN and they sent everything down...Iowa is suppose to handle it don't call Iowa call MN they say.

I am beginning to think there is enforcement difference between sexes. MN just did a study and found differences in enforcement by county and wondered why that is. DUH...everybody knows it difference with the judges...just like with visitation cases, custody cases...its the judge's not the counties.

What can a person do to get some action if you're a guy that is owed CS? I know that sounds sexist or bad but that is what I am feeling now. I wasn't mad before but after 2 years my patience is running thinner now.

Any ideas? Any thoughts? Am I thinking right? or am I just thinking vindictively now?


13
Shrink Rap / need help
« on: Jan 27, 2004, 11:43:31 AM »
I am having big problems with my PBFH. Background...Last year she wanted to move to Iowa with her mother and step-father. I fought the move but lost in court. She has in the past deined me visitation while living with her mother. My son is 9 and I have always had to travel to see him, I have always made the trip and he gets along with me very well and we do many things togeather.
This month PBFH nevershowed up at the meeting piont, I tried to call her but she never answered the phone. It turns out she has reported me to CPS in Iowa for "touching my son in the butt".

I had to give statements to the police in my hometown and they dropped the "charges" that would hav been made, had something actually happened.  The CPS worker in Iowa then call the ex and said he can't interfer with my court ordered visitation anymore and told her to "set up a line of communication with me and start visitation" Her answer was to file a Exprate Ordered full of lies asking the court that my visitation be stopped.
The matter is now coming before the court. We have had several telephone hearing and at the last one the judge ordered a theripist, that my Ex had been bringing my son to, to subit her "curriculm vitae" to the court.  
I told the court I feel he was being couched and the judge made the theripist aware with this staatement "Mr. 'Hatewelfare' is claiming the 'son' has been influenced by his mother and that is why he is making these allegations of inappropriate act(s) by his father."

She is claiming in her affidavite that he crys and yells when she puts him in the car for visitation. That he wets the bed for several nights after he comes home from me. That he has nightmares of someone coming into their home and shooting everbody. Her mom subitted a affidaveit that state he is rude to family members, slams doors and stomps around after visitation. it goes on and on.
She had also brought him to a doctor to examine him and state that he 'wouldn't take off his pants to let the doctor examine him. He didn't want the doctor to touch him or even look at him"

He has never wet the bed at my house, never slams doors and everbody says he is very well behaved. We do everything to geather, sledding bike riding, playing this last Chritmas I bought him a BB gun and he loved it. He has told family and freinds he like to see me. etc. etc.
She also claims I have a very violent temper...not true at all!

I a very uncomfetable with the "curriculm vitae" the judge has ordered. I don't know what it means and whats involved. I also have a fear that the threipist will ask "loaded" questions and and such.

The theripest is out of my state, I have never talked to her.

1 What does a "curriculum vitae" mean?
2 whats involved in it?
3 How easy is it for a theripist to tell a child is being coached?
4 Why would my son supposadly wet the bed there but never at my home?
5 What does L.L.S.W. stand for? (at the end of the theripist's name)
6 Should I ask the judge to go ahead and have anytests do on me if she wants to to disprove her claim of me having a violent temper?

Any advise on how to 'counter' any of the theripists claims if she doesn't recomend visitation for me? Do I get my own to examine my son then?

I plan on fighting this and have witnesses in court as to my behavor and my sons while we are togeather.

14
Dear Socrateaser / Suden move across country....
« on: Mar 11, 2007, 10:59:19 AM »
I'm not sure really were to post this but here is the skinny...

As some of you know a few years ago I won custody of my son, he is 13 in April. X had custody for 10 years. She kept screwing witth my visitation and decided to move from MN to Iowa with her mom. I fought that move and lost. The judge warned her though any more interferance would be grounds to reverse custody. 1 year later she screws up big time and acusses me of 'touching' him, I win that one and it goes to court, along with the past history of everything, I win custody. Visitation: every other weekend, Holidays split on even and odd years. and she gets summer visitation.

Now fast forward to this weekend...She tells me (in front of our son) that she is getting married and moving to New Mexico!? She wants him for the summer and is going to fly him back at the end of her time.

This is the first I her of it and apperently the first our son hears of it. I am at a loss...should I be celebrating or what? I wanted custody becaused I believed we both should have shared time with him...and I did that, I gave report cars, updates etc etc.

Now she is going to give all that up to move across country with someone that apparently niether my son or me have meet, have him there all summer and I'm suppose to be OK with it?

Has anybody delt with this before?

Part of me is worried that she is rushing into this and dragging our son into a potentially bad situation all the way across the country. The more I think about it the more questions come to mind.

1. Should I allow her summer visitation in New Mexico without even meeting this other guy?

2. What if she meet him off the internet?

3. I can't afford a plane ticket. Can I demand to see a copy of the round trip plane ticket before he goes?

4. Do I even have to allow him to go without more info?

5. Am I over reacting to be worried or wonder??

Please any advice....

15
Dear Socrateaser / Update from my custody case....
« on: Aug 30, 2004, 03:00:52 PM »
I WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After ten years I get my son FULL TIME starting Sep. 1st.  

She has visitation + the judge ruled she MUST pay CS!!!!!!

If you missed that.......WE WON!!!!!!!!


THANKS THANKS THANKS THANKS to all those that helped......God Bess

And to advise others...Document Document Document....Judge refurred back to Doctor records that I filed with my Motion for custody that dated back to 1994 to create a clear patten of interferace and accussing me of things I never did.

There is hope.........THANKS TO EVERBODY!!!!!!!

THANKS

signed,

Hatewelfare

16
Dear Socrateaser / Guardian Ad litem report...
« on: Jul 05, 2004, 10:21:39 AM »
Honorable Judge
Todd County District Court




(her) vs (Me)
Case Number:
Guardian Ad Litem Report

Dear Judge XXXXXX:

REASON FOR COURT INVOLVEMENT:
Motion to Change Custody

PERSONS CONTACTED REGARDING THE CASE:
(Son)’ s elementary school teacher GXXXXX EXXXXXX
Siouxland Community Health Center
(Son)’ s therapist JXXXXX
(her)
(Her Mom)
(Me)
(My Girlfriend)
(Son)
Girl friend daughter

DOCUMENTS REVIEWED:
School reports
Clinic Reports
Diagnostic Assessment — Parental Capacity for (Me)
Child Abuse Assessment — Not Confirmed
Court Reports

SUMMARY OF OBSERVATIONS:
This writer met with (Me) and (Son) in Willmar on May 15. (Son) appears to have a close relationship with (My Girlfriend) children and with (Me). (Son) was very happy and played well with the other children in the home. (Me) appears to have a good relationship with (My Girlfriend)’s children and is definitely acting as a father figure. (Son) did not want to talk with this writer. He appeared to just want all the court business and discord between mom and dad to STOP. (My Girlfriend)’s eleven-year-old daughter, Girl friends daughter, requested to talk to this writer alone. Girl friends daughter just wanted to share that all of the children love and miss (Son) and they think of him as a brother.

This writer met with (her) and her mother, (Her Mom), and (Son) in Sioux City on May XX. (her)’s home is adequate for herself and (Son). (Son) has his own room. (Her Mom) had a lot more to say than (her). (Her Mom) had concerns regarding the first hearing in 2003 and questions about her husband and his anger problems. (Her Mom) questioned me about why the Psych. Evals. were set up in XXXXX. It was explained that the court asked for three names and their fees so the least expensive one could be chosen. Ms. XXXXX’s name was one of the names the court was familiar with. (her) told this writer that she could not afford the fee, nor could she miss work without putting her job in jeopardy. Those were the reasons for not following the court order of Feb. 19, 2004. To this writer’s knowledge, the court was not notified that (her) would not be following the court order regarding the evals. I was able to visit a little bit with (Son) during this home visit. He was willing to interact while we all sat around the kitchen table. My visit was video taped by (her) without my prior consent. This writer became aware of the taping only after (Son) was playing with the camera and made some comments, at which time I turned and saw the camera.

Reports from the clinic indicated that (Son) has had normal sore throats and flu-type symptoms. In May of 2004 (Son) was seen for abdominal pain which comes and goes. It was felt that he was under a little more stress due to the problems between (her) and (Me).

A report from (Son)’s teacher indicated that he has made gradual progress this year. It is difficult for him to stay focused and motivated. During the last nine weeks of school, (Son)’s absences and tardies greatly decreased. According to (Son)’s report card, he was absent for four days and had twelve tardies for the school year.

This writer spoke with XXXXXXX on the phone but has not received anything in writing. XXXXXX confirmed that she has seen (Son)


approximately two times a month since January 2004. She reported that (Son) worked with a sand table for three or four sessions and turned it into a battle field. XXXXXXX feels that (Son) sees his life as a battle between his parents. XXXXXX has seen nothing to make her believe that (Son) has suffered any sexual abuse. On the original visit (her) spent most of the time talking to XXXXXXX and really pushed the fact that she was looking for something to substantiate that (Son) had been sexually abused. This information was substantiated by comments in a Child Protective Assessment by HXXXX MXXXXX. This assessment states “Ms XXXXX did state that she felt a great deal of pressure from (her) . (her) was requesting that she write a letter to the Court in order to stop visitation between her son, (Son) , and his biological father.”

AREAS OF CONERN:

1. Lack of cooperation between the two parties. There appears to be no willingness to change or modify a visit when it becomes necessary. (Son) is put in the middle frequently, even if it is subtly.
2. A disruption with (Me)’s parenting time. i.e. Police being called on more that one occasion, phone calls not responded to, common courtesies not being used, and accusations of sexual abuse.
3. (her) not having a diagnostic assessment — parental capacity completed.
4. (her)’s continued contact with Michael, whom she claims has been abusive in the past.

518.18 MODIFICATION OF ORDER:

(1) The wishes of the child’s parent or parents as to custody;
Both parents love and want (Son) to live with them. Both parents feel
they are the best person to have custody.

(2) The reasonable preference of the child, if the court deems the child to be of sufficient age to express preference;
This writer does not feel (Son) is of sufficient age to express a
preference. (Son) feels he is in a battle, as his parents are unable to
deal cooperatively for his best interests.


(her) has been (Son)’s primary caretaker, except for last summer when (Son) spent most of the summer with (Me). (her) takes (Son) to doctors’ appointments. (Me) would take (Son) to the doctor when necessary. (Me) also took (Son) to the dentist for a cleaning and checkup.

(4) The intimacy of the relationship between each parent and the child;
This writer witnessed a positive relationship between both parents and
(Son).

(5) The interaction and interrelationship of the child with a parent or parents, siblings, and any other person who may significantly affect the child’s best interests;
While at (her)’s home, (Son) has a close relationship with his grandmother, grandfather, and two cousins. While at (Me)’s home, (Son) has (My Girlfriend) and all of her children, whom he has a sibling relationship with.

(6) The child’s adjustment to home, school, and community; (Son) appears well adjusted to primary environment.

(7) The length of time the child has lived in a stable, satisfactory environment and the desirability of maintaining continuity;
(Son) has had several moves in his life and has not had a completely stable environment for any extended period of time.

(8) The permanence, as a family unit, of the existing or proposed custodial home;
It would appear that (Me)’s long standing relationship with (My Girlfriend) and her children, along with his extended time of living in the same house and holding down the same job, would show permanency. (her) has had several jobs and has moved repeatedly. (her)’s relationship with MXXXXXXwas abusive and caused (her) to move to a women’s shelter prior to moving to Iowa.

(9) The mental and physical health of all individuals involved; except that a disability, as defined in section 363.01, of a proposed custodian or the child shall not be determinative of the custody of the child, unless the proposed custodial arrangement is not in the best interest of the child;


To this writer’s knowledge, both (her) and (Me) are in good physical health. Attached please find a copy to the court of (Me)’s Diagnostic Assessment and Parental Capacity. (Me) did not project a profile of any personality disorders. The Child Abuse Potential Inventory resulted in a valid profile. Scales were in the normal range, which suggest that he does not engage in the type of thinking that would be characteristic of known physical child abusers. (Me) is not experiencing stress in the area of parenting his child. He does experience some stress due to the discord between himself and (her). The psychologist XXXXXX, Ph.D. made the following recommendations: No recommendations seem to be appropriate, as (Me) appears to be a well functioning man who is not experiencing psychopathology or problematic thinking that would interfere with his being able to provide a nurturing home for his son. The indicators in the evaluation would be that he more than likely does not need to engage in any kind of psychological treatment at this time. This writer has no information on (her)’s mental health or her potential to parent due to the fact that no Diagnostic Assessment or Parental Capacity was completed.

(10) The capacity and disposition of the parties to give the child love, affection, and guidance, and to continue educating and raising the child in the child’s culture and religion or creed, if any;
To this writer’s knowledge there is no disagreement on (10).

(11) The child’s cultural background;
To this writer’s knowledge there is no disagreement on (11).

(12) The effect on the child of the actions of an abuser, if related to domestic abuse, as defined in section 518.01, that has occurred between the parents or between a parent and another individual, whether or not the individual alleged to have committed domestic abuse is or ever was a family or household member of the parent; and
(13) Expect in cases in which a finding of domestic abuse as defined in section 518B.01 has been made, the disposition of each parent to encourage and permit frequent and continuing contact by the other parent with the child.
(her)’s relationship with XXXXXX, who has been identified as being abusive in the past.



1. Primary physical custody of (Son) be transferred to (Me).
2. (Son) have on going mental health services to meet his needs.
3. (Me) and (her) work cooperatively regarding visits and vacations to meet (Son)’ s best interests.
4. There be no negative talk from anyone regarding either parent.

This information is true and accurate to the best of this writer’s
knowledge. If you have any questions or concerns please feel free to contact me at any time.

Respectfully Submitted,


KXXXX PXXXXXXX
Guardian Ad Litem

Cc: (her)
(Me)

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I have my son for the summer visitation right now until Augest.

1.  Any chance the judge wouldn't go for this(I know the fat lady isn't singing yet)?

2. X just got a new car (2003 or 2004 Mazda 6)...Should I bring that up to the judge if she claims in court she didn't have the money for the eval?

3. If this goes my way in court also...anything else I should ask for? (some clothes, some toys, child support right away)

4. X gets him on the 17th for the weekend again...I haven't told him yet. Should I tell him before his Mom does??

5. Should I push for sole legal custody also? (My son has her last name which makes it hard for me to get anything)

17
Dear Socrateaser / care to go out on a limb??
« on: May 07, 2004, 12:53:24 AM »
I am in a custody fight with my Ex, after she claimed and reported me to CPS. Everything was dropped. We went to court and had the hearing. Judge ordered us both to take a phyc eval. I took mine and it came back good according to the GAL.

Ex has refused to take her test. I just got a 'motion to drop' the custody fight I am taking from my ex. In it she is claiming everything under the sun...constitional amendements to judical error. She is wanting the conditional move to Iowa changed(judge allowed her to move on certain conditions) to getting the GAL dropped out of our case.

The GAl is coming to my house for a home visit next weekend, GAL is doing a home visit with the ex this weekend. The Judge ordered the GAL to report back and make a recomendation after that.

1: How will the judge look at her not taking the phyc. eval?

2: Don't judges get made when you start claiming they are wrong and you are right?

3: how likely is a custody switch in my favor if she isn't doing the test like the judge ordered?

18
Dear Socrateaser / X drew the trump card....very long...sorry..
« on: Jan 14, 2004, 01:17:25 PM »
I give you the order that alowed the a move to Iowa by my x last year. She has called the cops on me twice so far for minor disputs with transportation. Once was the end of my summer vistation I she called me the first weekend on Sat and wanted him returned. I said I had until Sunday night. (minor I know).

Now to the big one. Last weekend I went down to get my son. She never showed up. I was concerned and went to the police station to file a report and have them check for accidents. The officer let me use his cell phone to call her, she never answered. I waited until 1:15 and drove home. I called again...no answer, left message to call me back. I tried again on Sunday night at 9PM now answer...no call back.

Monday I called the X at 7:30 to try and see if she was home....no answer. I then called the school to see if my son was in school. He ended up coming late, the excuse, they overslept.

I'm now worried, I call my x at work and she won't say anything to me. I tell her I had been calling and she didn't pick up or return my calls and she said she nows that. I ask whats up and she says "I can't talk right now" I ask her if she'll be at the exchange piont this weekend and she says "no".

Come to find out she had my son in to be video taped and reported to CPS that I touched his butt. I spent many hours on the phone to find this out. I had to call the school, which wouldn't let me talk to him because of this "investagation" they did piont me in the right direction of calling CPS because I had no idea of anything going on.

Iowa police trasfered the case up to my hometown and I talked to an officer and gave my statement. Basicly the story goes that I touched his butt while we were in bed sleeping, my son said this. He didn't know the date when asked, he didn't know how many times this happed when asked. The officer knows this is a custody disput thing, he said he has seen many of them. They are still waiting for the video tape from Iowa.

Needless to say I am very hurt by these accusations and feel so sad for my son that is being draw into all this crap, just because my x doesn't want me to have visitation.

I talked with the Iowa CPS today and they said if the officer up here doesn't think nothing is going on the they will drop the order to not allow me contact with my son. The officer up here is going to call CPS toady to say just that. He can pretty much see through the whole thing, but needs to wait for the video, then it goes to county attorny. Which the officer said he can't see how I could be charged with anything.

I have many doctors reports dating back to birth about here bring my son in and blaming me for this or for that. One doctor wrote on the bottom "It seems they are trying to make a mounten out of a molehill"

I have no idea of what started all this, I did bring  my son to the dentist the last visit and they said he had the start of gingivitus and they filled 2 cavities that were nearly absist. He hadn't been to a dentist in over 3 years.

My son is 9.

Now the question.

1: Do I go back to court for full custody on this?

2: How much weight do judges put on these false accustations with regards to a custody change?

3: X has tried this before about 5 years ago and it was thrown out. Does that help establish a pattern?

4: With just this small bit of info what do you think my chances are of a custody reversal are now?

Below is the order from the judge...she seemed like she didn't want to allow the move but had to under MN law. She made several comments about how we need to work together and she would like to see parents live in the same town or within 50 mile of each other.


   STATE OF MINNESOTA   IN DISTRICT COURt
   COUNTY OF TODD   SEVENTH JUDICIAL DISTRICT

Court File No.
Case Type:  Dissolution with Children
In re the Marriage of:

the X
   CONDITIONAL ORDER PERMITTING
   Petitioner,   PETITIONER TO MOVE TO IOWA
         WITH MINOR CHILD
and


Me (hatewelfare),

Respondent.



The above-entitled matter came for argument before the Honorable Sally I-------- R---------, Judge of District Court, on January 17, 2003, for an evidentiary hearing on Petitioner’s request for an Order allowing her to move to the State of Iowa with the parties’ minor child, over Respondent’s objection. Petitioner appeared personally, pro Se. Respondent appeared personally with counsel (My slow attorny). Also appearing was the court-appointed Guardian Ad Litem, K---- P-----. The Court gave Petitioner permission to move to Iowa with the child, subject to conditions set at the hearing and subject to further review hearing on the issue of parenting time, if the parties could not agree.

On the 12th day of March 2003, both parties appeared personally pro Se, for further hearing as to parenting time. Also appearing was the court-appointed Guardian Ad Litem, K---- Pi--------i, who had filed with the Court her recommendations as to the child’s best interests.

Based upon the arguments of counsel, the files, records, and
proceedings herein, the Court makes the following:

ORDER

1.   Permission to move to Iowa. Petitioner’s request to move with minor child to Iowa is GRANTED. Petitioner’s request is conditioned upon (1) Petitioner’s full cooperation and compliance with Respondent’s parenting time as set forth below,
(2)   Petitioner’s sharing one-half of the visitation transportation
obligation, and (3) upon the Court’s express retention of jurisdiction as the child’s “home state" for the purpose of custody jurisdiction.

2. Respondent’s Parenting Time. Unless the parties otherwise in the best interests of the child, Respondent have parenting time with the minor child:

a. Every other weekend, beginning at 11:15 a.rn. Saturday until 4:00 p.m. Sunday, with the exchange taking place at Windom, MN. Because of the travel time and the need to exchange at a mid-point, each party shall be prompt in meeting at the exchange point and shall advise the other immediately of any weather conditions which may make travel inadvisable.

b. Summer vacation as follows: from the third week in June through the end of the first week of August, at which time Respondent shall return minor child to Petitioner. Petitioner shall have one weekend of parenting time in June and one weekend of parenting time in July. The parties will mutually decide upon the particular dates for Petitioner’s parenting time; if they cannot agree, it will be the last weekend in June and the third weekend in July.

c. Alternating holidays as follows: Easter, Memorial Day, Labor Day, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas (Respondent to have parenting time for one-half Christmas vacation every year), and the minor child’s birthday.

d. Petitioner shall have the minor child for the weekend of Mother’s Day; however, if this causes Respondent to miss a regular weekend visit, the missed visit will be made up within two weeks, unless the parties agree otherwise.

e. Respondent shall have the minor child for the weekend of Father’s Day as part of his summer parenting time.

3. Other and Additional Times As Agreed to by Parties. The parties are free to agree to additional parenting time as needed for special family occasions and events. Both parties shall cooperate with each other and be flexible in dealing with unforeseen scheduling issues and any other matters that may arise, affecting the parenting time agreement. Both parties shall take all appropriate steps to avoid conflicts with the schedule, but shall accommodate whenever possible requests for changes so the minor child can attend important family and social events with both parents or with his friends and school.
 
 4. Shared  Oblicjation  for Transportion. Petitioner and Respondent shall share equally the costs and time associated with the transportation required for Respondent to exercise his parenting time.

5. No Interference. The parties are hereby advised that this Court will view any persistent failure to cooperate, unreasonable denial of parenting time, failure to provide prompt transportation, unreasonable failure to be prompt for exchanges, or any other obstacles or patterns of resistance to parenting time, as intentional interference of parenting time. In accordance with Minnesota law, such conduct could result in a change of custody of the minor child and/or revocation of this Conditional Order permitting Petitioner to move to Iowa with the minor child.

6. Duty of Good Faith. The parties shall use the utmost good faith in dealing with each other as to issues of visitation and other matters involving the couple’s minor child. Neither party shall vilify or speak badly about the other parent in the presence or earshot of the child, and neither shall allow the child to be in the presence or earshot of any other person who vilifies and speaks poorly of the other parent. Each parent shall assist the child in making adjustments to the move, and other major changes in the home or living arrangements of the parent.

7. Suspension of Child Support in July. Provided that Respondent remains fully current in the payment of child support throughout the year as previously ordered (on October 26, 2002, as corrected in part on January 4, 2002), his child support obligation shall be suspended and not payable in the month of July every year, to allow for the additional expenses he will have for childcare during his summer parenting time, and also for the additional expenses of transportation occasioned by Petitioner’s move to Iowa. This suspension of child support for one month each year is in the child’s best interests as it will foster the parent and child relationship with the parent who does not have physical custody during the school year and needs funds to exercise parenting time. Court Administration shall serve a copy of this Order on Todd County Social Services, who shall not withhold child support in the month of July each year, provided that Respondent is current in his payment of support.

8. Retention of Jurisdiction. This Court shall retain jurisdiction of this matter as Minnesota is deemed the child’s “home state” for purposes of child custody jurisdiction regardless of the child’s move to the State of Iowa, until further Order of this Court. The Petitioner has made various representations to the Court as her lack of intent to deprive the child’s father of parenting time and her ability and intent to assist with transportation needed to continue to foster the parent and child relationship between the child and his father. Petitioner’s mother made this same representation to the Court in sworn testimony. This Court would not have found the move to be in the child’s best interest were there not continuing jurisdiction to assure full compliance and cooperation with Respondent’s parenting time.

9. Guardian ad Litem. The Respondent shall pay one-half of the total costs of the Guardian ad Litem on a schedule to be arranged with Todd County Court Administrator --------; the Petitioner, having proceeded In Forma Pauperis, has no present ability to contribute to said costs. The Guardian is hereby discharged from further duties in this case, with the thanks of the Court and the parties for her services in this matter.

10. Service of this Order. A copy of this Order shall be served upon the parties, the Guardian ad Litem, and Todd County Social Services Support Collection Officer (referencing suspension of support in July as per paragraph 7 above).


Dated this 3rd day of April, 2003.

BY THE COURT:



SALLY I----- R------
Judge of District Court
DISTRICT

 

~


19
General Issues / Sudden move across country...
« on: Mar 11, 2007, 10:56:36 AM »
I'm not sure really were to post this but here is the skinny...

As some of you know a few years ago I won custody of my son, he is 13 in April. X had custody for 10 years. She kept screwing witth my visitation and decided to move from MN to Iowa with her mom. I fought that move and lost. The judge warned her though any more interferance would be grounds to reverse custody. 1 year later she screws up big time and acusses me of 'touching' him, I win that one and it goes to court, along with the past history of everything, I win custody. Visitation: every other weekend, Holidays split on even and odd years. and she gets summer visitation.

Now fast forward to this weekend...She tells me (in front of our son) that she is getting married and moving to New Mexico!? She wants him for the summer and is going to fly him back at the end of her time.

This is the first I her of it and apperently the first our son hears of it. I am at a loss...should I be celebrating or what? I wanted custody becaused I believed we both should have shared time with him...and I did that, I gave report cars, updates etc etc.

Now she is going to give all that up to move across country with someone that apparently niether my son or me have meet, have him there all summer and I'm suppose to be OK with it?

Has anybody delt with this before?

Part of me is worried that she is rushing into this and dragging our son into a potentially bad situation all the way across the country. The more I think about it the more questions come to mind.

Should I allow her summer visitation in New Mexico without even meeting this other guy?

What if she meet him off the internet?

I can't afford a plane ticket. Can I demand to see a copy of the round trip plane ticket before he goes?

Do I even have to allow him to go without more info?

Am I over reacting to be worried or wonder??

Please any advice....

20
Custody Issues / Update from my custody case....
« on: Aug 30, 2004, 03:00:15 PM »
I WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After ten years I get my son FULL TIME starting Sep. 1st.  

She has visitation + the judge ruled she MUST pay CS!!!!!!

If you missed that.......WE WON!!!!!!!!


THANKS THANKS THANKS THANKS to all those that helped......God Bess

And to advise others...Document Document Document....Judge refurred back to Doctor records that I filed with my Motion for custody that dated back to 1994 to create a clear patten of interferace and accussing me of things I never did.

There is hope.........THANKS TO EVERBODY!!!!!!!

THANKS

signed,

Hatewelfare

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