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I'm not sure really were to post this but here is the skinny...

As some of you know a few years ago I won custody of my son, he is 13 in April. X had custody for 10 years. She kept screwing witth my visitation and decided to move from MN to Iowa with her mom. I fought that move and lost. The judge warned her though any more interferance would be grounds to reverse custody. 1 year later she screws up big time and acusses me of 'touching' him, I win that one and it goes to court, along with the past history of everything, I win custody. Visitation: every other weekend, Holidays split on even and odd years. and she gets summer visitation.

Now fast forward to this weekend...She tells me (in front of our son) that she is getting married and moving to New Mexico!? She wants him for the summer and is going to fly him back at the end of her time.

This is the first I her of it and apperently the first our son hears of it. I am at a loss...should I be celebrating or what? I wanted custody becaused I believed we both should have shared time with him...and I did that, I gave report cars, updates etc etc.

Now she is going to give all that up to move across country with someone that apparently niether my son or me have meet, have him there all summer and I'm suppose to be OK with it?

Has anybody delt with this before?

Part of me is worried that she is rushing into this and dragging our son into a potentially bad situation all the way across the country. The more I think about it the more questions come to mind.

1. Should I allow her summer visitation in New Mexico without even meeting this other guy?

2. What if she meet him off the internet?

3. I can't afford a plane ticket. Can I demand to see a copy of the round trip plane ticket before he goes?

4. Do I even have to allow him to go without more info?

5. Am I over reacting to be worried or wonder??

Please any advice....

I WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After ten years I get my son FULL TIME starting Sep. 1st.  

She has visitation + the judge ruled she MUST pay CS!!!!!!

If you missed that.......WE WON!!!!!!!!


THANKS THANKS THANKS THANKS to all those that helped......God Bess

And to advise others...Document Document Document....Judge refurred back to Doctor records that I filed with my Motion for custody that dated back to 1994 to create a clear patten of interferace and accussing me of things I never did.

There is hope.........THANKS TO EVERBODY!!!!!!!

THANKS

signed,

Hatewelfare

I WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After ten years I get my son FULL TIME starting Sep. 1st.  

She has visitation + the judge ruled she MUST pay CS!!!!!!

If you missed that.......WE WON!!!!!!!!


THANKS THANKS THANKS THANKS to all those that helped......God Bess

And to advise others...Document Document Document....Judge refurred back to Doctor records that I filed with my Motion for custody that dated back to 1994 to create a clear patten of interferace and accussing me of things I never did.

There is hope.........THANKS TO EVERBODY!!!!!!!

THANKS

signed,

Hatewelfare

Honorable Judge
Todd County District Court




(her) vs (Me)
Case Number:
Guardian Ad Litem Report

Dear Judge XXXXXX:

REASON FOR COURT INVOLVEMENT:
Motion to Change Custody

PERSONS CONTACTED REGARDING THE CASE:
(Son)' s elementary school teacher GXXXXX EXXXXXX
Siouxland Community Health Center
(Son)' s therapist JXXXXX
(her)
(Her Mom)
(Me)
(My Girlfriend)
(Son)
Girl friend daughter

DOCUMENTS REVIEWED:
School reports
Clinic Reports
Diagnostic Assessment — Parental Capacity for (Me)
Child Abuse Assessment — Not Confirmed
Court Reports

SUMMARY OF OBSERVATIONS:
This writer met with (Me) and (Son) in Willmar on May 15. (Son) appears to have a close relationship with (My Girlfriend) children and with (Me). (Son) was very happy and played well with the other children in the home. (Me) appears to have a good relationship with (My Girlfriend)'s children and is definitely acting as a father figure. (Son) did not want to talk with this writer. He appeared to just want all the court business and discord between mom and dad to STOP. (My Girlfriend)'s eleven-year-old daughter, Girl friends daughter, requested to talk to this writer alone. Girl friends daughter just wanted to share that all of the children love and miss (Son) and they think of him as a brother.

This writer met with (her) and her mother, (Her Mom), and (Son) in Sioux City on May XX. (her)'s home is adequate for herself and (Son). (Son) has his own room. (Her Mom) had a lot more to say than (her). (Her Mom) had concerns regarding the first hearing in 2003 and questions about her husband and his anger problems. (Her Mom) questioned me about why the Psych. Evals. were set up in XXXXX. It was explained that the court asked for three names and their fees so the least expensive one could be chosen. Ms. XXXXX's name was one of the names the court was familiar with. (her) told this writer that she could not afford the fee, nor could she miss work without putting her job in jeopardy. Those were the reasons for not following the court order of Feb. 19, 2004. To this writer's knowledge, the court was not notified that (her) would not be following the court order regarding the evals. I was able to visit a little bit with (Son) during this home visit. He was willing to interact while we all sat around the kitchen table. My visit was video taped by (her) without my prior consent. This writer became aware of the taping only after (Son) was playing with the camera and made some comments, at which time I turned and saw the camera.

Reports from the clinic indicated that (Son) has had normal sore throats and flu-type symptoms. In May of 2004 (Son) was seen for abdominal pain which comes and goes. It was felt that he was under a little more stress due to the problems between (her) and (Me).

A report from (Son)'s teacher indicated that he has made gradual progress this year. It is difficult for him to stay focused and motivated. During the last nine weeks of school, (Son)'s absences and tardies greatly decreased. According to (Son)'s report card, he was absent for four days and had twelve tardies for the school year.

This writer spoke with XXXXXXX on the phone but has not received anything in writing. XXXXXX confirmed that she has seen (Son)


approximately two times a month since January 2004. She reported that (Son) worked with a sand table for three or four sessions and turned it into a battle field. XXXXXXX feels that (Son) sees his life as a battle between his parents. XXXXXX has seen nothing to make her believe that (Son) has suffered any sexual abuse. On the original visit (her) spent most of the time talking to XXXXXXX and really pushed the fact that she was looking for something to substantiate that (Son) had been sexually abused. This information was substantiated by comments in a Child Protective Assessment by HXXXX MXXXXX. This assessment states "Ms XXXXX did state that she felt a great deal of pressure from (her) . (her) was requesting that she write a letter to the Court in order to stop visitation between her son, (Son) , and his biological father."

AREAS OF CONERN:

1. Lack of cooperation between the two parties. There appears to be no willingness to change or modify a visit when it becomes necessary. (Son) is put in the middle frequently, even if it is subtly.
2. A disruption with (Me)'s parenting time. i.e. Police being called on more that one occasion, phone calls not responded to, common courtesies not being used, and accusations of sexual abuse.
3. (her) not having a diagnostic assessment — parental capacity completed.
4. (her)'s continued contact with Michael, whom she claims has been abusive in the past.

518.18 MODIFICATION OF ORDER:

(1) The wishes of the child's parent or parents as to custody;
Both parents love and want (Son) to live with them. Both parents feel
they are the best person to have custody.

(2) The reasonable preference of the child, if the court deems the child to be of sufficient age to express preference;
This writer does not feel (Son) is of sufficient age to express a
preference. (Son) feels he is in a battle, as his parents are unable to
deal cooperatively for his best interests.


(her) has been (Son)'s primary caretaker, except for last summer when (Son) spent most of the summer with (Me). (her) takes (Son) to doctors' appointments. (Me) would take (Son) to the doctor when necessary. (Me) also took (Son) to the dentist for a cleaning and checkup.

(4) The intimacy of the relationship between each parent and the child;
This writer witnessed a positive relationship between both parents and
(Son).

(5) The interaction and interrelationship of the child with a parent or parents, siblings, and any other person who may significantly affect the child's best interests;
While at (her)'s home, (Son) has a close relationship with his grandmother, grandfather, and two cousins. While at (Me)'s home, (Son) has (My Girlfriend) and all of her children, whom he has a sibling relationship with.

(6) The child's adjustment to home, school, and community; (Son) appears well adjusted to primary environment.

(7) The length of time the child has lived in a stable, satisfactory environment and the desirability of maintaining continuity;
(Son) has had several moves in his life and has not had a completely stable environment for any extended period of time.

(8) The permanence, as a family unit, of the existing or proposed custodial home;
It would appear that (Me)'s long standing relationship with (My Girlfriend) and her children, along with his extended time of living in the same house and holding down the same job, would show permanency. (her) has had several jobs and has moved repeatedly. (her)'s relationship with MXXXXXXwas abusive and caused (her) to move to a women's shelter prior to moving to Iowa.

(9) The mental and physical health of all individuals involved; except that a disability, as defined in section 363.01, of a proposed custodian or the child shall not be determinative of the custody of the child, unless the proposed custodial arrangement is not in the best interest of the child;


To this writer's knowledge, both (her) and (Me) are in good physical health. Attached please find a copy to the court of (Me)'s Diagnostic Assessment and Parental Capacity. (Me) did not project a profile of any personality disorders. The Child Abuse Potential Inventory resulted in a valid profile. Scales were in the normal range, which suggest that he does not engage in the type of thinking that would be characteristic of known physical child abusers. (Me) is not experiencing stress in the area of parenting his child. He does experience some stress due to the discord between himself and (her). The psychologist XXXXXX, Ph.D. made the following recommendations: No recommendations seem to be appropriate, as (Me) appears to be a well functioning man who is not experiencing psychopathology or problematic thinking that would interfere with his being able to provide a nurturing home for his son. The indicators in the evaluation would be that he more than likely does not need to engage in any kind of psychological treatment at this time. This writer has no information on (her)'s mental health or her potential to parent due to the fact that no Diagnostic Assessment or Parental Capacity was completed.

(10) The capacity and disposition of the parties to give the child love, affection, and guidance, and to continue educating and raising the child in the child's culture and religion or creed, if any;
To this writer's knowledge there is no disagreement on (10).

(11) The child's cultural background;
To this writer's knowledge there is no disagreement on (11).

(12) The effect on the child of the actions of an abuser, if related to domestic abuse, as defined in section 518.01, that has occurred between the parents or between a parent and another individual, whether or not the individual alleged to have committed domestic abuse is or ever was a family or household member of the parent; and
(13) Expect in cases in which a finding of domestic abuse as defined in section 518B.01 has been made, the disposition of each parent to encourage and permit frequent and continuing contact by the other parent with the child.
(her)'s relationship with XXXXXX, who has been identified as being abusive in the past.



1. Primary physical custody of (Son) be transferred to (Me).
2. (Son) have on going mental health services to meet his needs.
3. (Me) and (her) work cooperatively regarding visits and vacations to meet (Son)' s best interests.
4. There be no negative talk from anyone regarding either parent.

This information is true and accurate to the best of this writer's
knowledge. If you have any questions or concerns please feel free to contact me at any time.

Respectfully Submitted,


KXXXX PXXXXXXX
Guardian Ad Litem

Cc: (her)
(Me)

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I have my son for the summer visitation right now until Augest.

1.  Any chance the judge wouldn't go for this(I know the fat lady isn't singing yet)?

2. X just got a new car (2003 or 2004 Mazda 6)...Should I bring that up to the judge if she claims in court she didn't have the money for the eval?

3. If this goes my way in court also...anything else I should ask for? (some clothes, some toys, child support right away)

4. X gets him on the 17th for the weekend again...I haven't told him yet. Should I tell him before his Mom does??

5. Should I push for sole legal custody also? (My son has her last name which makes it hard for me to get anything)

I am in a custody fight with my Ex, after she claimed and reported me to CPS. Everything was dropped. We went to court and had the hearing. Judge ordered us both to take a phyc eval. I took mine and it came back good according to the GAL.

Ex has refused to take her test. I just got a 'motion to drop' the custody fight I am taking from my ex. In it she is claiming everything under the sun...constitional amendements to judical error. She is wanting the conditional move to Iowa changed(judge allowed her to move on certain conditions) to getting the GAL dropped out of our case.

The GAl is coming to my house for a home visit next weekend, GAL is doing a home visit with the ex this weekend. The Judge ordered the GAL to report back and make a recomendation after that.

1: How will the judge look at her not taking the phyc. eval?

2: Don't judges get made when you start claiming they are wrong and you are right?

3: how likely is a custody switch in my favor if she isn't doing the test like the judge ordered?

So far all I know is that the CPS in Iowa has DROPPED the case now. I have called her and she hasn't returned my call yet. I am going to try again.

I had heard through the officer up here that she had gone into Iowa PD and was trying to get a restraining order on me or had asked about one. Alll the officer said was that she had left a message for him on his phone and that he wasn't going to be playing those f(&^(ing games with her.
THe judge had warned her and I to work out problems that arise or she would change custody so fast....

I am going to take this to court....I just don't know how to really go about getting some info and in filing my affidvate I don't want to give ALL the info I have right there so she has time to make up lies. She can't lie if I bring it up to her on the stand because I have proof that will say otherwise.

Please respond to my other post.

The officer has talked to the Child Protection in  Iowa and Iowa has dropped the restrictions on me. He said he is closing the case and should be finshed by the 20th. I can then get a copy of what was said in the interview.

I guess by law the case still has to go to the county attorny up here and he will decide wether or not to charge. The officer said he dosen't see anything why they would. He said my ex tried to call him to talk with him but he "isn't going to play her games."

I am so very hurt by this and feel so bad for my son that she is subjecting him to all this crap all the time. I did nothing. She is filling his mind with things about me.

Will some that has been through this type of thing tell me what to do??

I give you the order that alowed the a move to Iowa by my x last year. She has called the cops on me twice so far for minor disputs with transportation. Once was the end of my summer vistation I she called me the first weekend on Sat and wanted him returned. I said I had until Sunday night. (minor I know).

Now to the big one. Last weekend I went down to get my son. She never showed up. I was concerned and went to the police station to file a report and have them check for accidents. The officer let me use his cell phone to call her, she never answered. I waited until 1:15 and drove home. I called again...no answer, left message to call me back. I tried again on Sunday night at 9PM now answer...no call back.

Monday I called the X at 7:30 to try and see if she was home....no answer. I then called the school to see if my son was in school. He ended up coming late, the excuse, they overslept.

I'm now worried, I call my x at work and she won't say anything to me. I tell her I had been calling and she didn't pick up or return my calls and she said she nows that. I ask whats up and she says "I can't talk right now" I ask her if she'll be at the exchange piont this weekend and she says "no".

Come to find out she had my son in to be video taped and reported to CPS that I touched his butt. I spent many hours on the phone to find this out. I had to call the school, which wouldn't let me talk to him because of this "investagation" they did piont me in the right direction of calling CPS because I had no idea of anything going on.

Iowa police trasfered the case up to my hometown and I talked to an officer and gave my statement. Basicly the story goes that I touched his butt while we were in bed sleeping, my son said this. He didn't know the date when asked, he didn't know how many times this happed when asked. The officer knows this is a custody disput thing, he said he has seen many of them. They are still waiting for the video tape from Iowa.

Needless to say I am very hurt by these accusations and feel so sad for my son that is being draw into all this crap, just because my x doesn't want me to have visitation.

I talked with the Iowa CPS today and they said if the officer up here doesn't think nothing is going on the they will drop the order to not allow me contact with my son. The officer up here is going to call CPS toady to say just that. He can pretty much see through the whole thing, but needs to wait for the video, then it goes to county attorny. Which the officer said he can't see how I could be charged with anything.

I have many doctors reports dating back to birth about here bring my son in and blaming me for this or for that. One doctor wrote on the bottom "It seems they are trying to make a mounten out of a molehill"

I have no idea of what started all this, I did bring  my son to the dentist the last visit and they said he had the start of gingivitus and they filled 2 cavities that were nearly absist. He hadn't been to a dentist in over 3 years.

My son is 9.

Now the question.

1: Do I go back to court for full custody on this?

2: How much weight do judges put on these false accustations with regards to a custody change?

3: X has tried this before about 5 years ago and it was thrown out. Does that help establish a pattern?

4: With just this small bit of info what do you think my chances are of a custody reversal are now?

Below is the order from the judge...she seemed like she didn't want to allow the move but had to under MN law. She made several comments about how we need to work together and she would like to see parents live in the same town or within 50 mile of each other.


   STATE OF MINNESOTA   IN DISTRICT COURt
   COUNTY OF TODD   SEVENTH JUDICIAL DISTRICT

Court File No.
Case Type:  Dissolution with Children
In re the Marriage of:

the X
   CONDITIONAL ORDER PERMITTING
   Petitioner,   PETITIONER TO MOVE TO IOWA
         WITH MINOR CHILD
and


Me (hatewelfare),

Respondent.



The above-entitled matter came for argument before the Honorable Sally I-------- R---------, Judge of District Court, on January 17, 2003, for an evidentiary hearing on Petitioner's request for an Order allowing her to move to the State of Iowa with the parties' minor child, over Respondent's objection. Petitioner appeared personally, pro Se. Respondent appeared personally with counsel (My slow attorny). Also appearing was the court-appointed Guardian Ad Litem, K---- P-----. The Court gave Petitioner permission to move to Iowa with the child, subject to conditions set at the hearing and subject to further review hearing on the issue of parenting time, if the parties could not agree.

On the 12th day of March 2003, both parties appeared personally pro Se, for further hearing as to parenting time. Also appearing was the court-appointed Guardian Ad Litem, K---- Pi--------i, who had filed with the Court her recommendations as to the child's best interests.

Based upon the arguments of counsel, the files, records, and
proceedings herein, the Court makes the following:

ORDER

1.   Permission to move to Iowa. Petitioner's request to move with minor child to Iowa is GRANTED. Petitioner's request is conditioned upon (1) Petitioner's full cooperation and compliance with Respondent's parenting time as set forth below,
(2)   Petitioner's sharing one-half of the visitation transportation
obligation, and (3) upon the Court's express retention of jurisdiction as the child's "home state" for the purpose of custody jurisdiction.

2. Respondent's Parenting Time. Unless the parties otherwise in the best interests of the child, Respondent have parenting time with the minor child:

a. Every other weekend, beginning at 11:15 a.rn. Saturday until 4:00 p.m. Sunday, with the exchange taking place at Windom, MN. Because of the travel time and the need to exchange at a mid-point, each party shall be prompt in meeting at the exchange point and shall advise the other immediately of any weather conditions which may make travel inadvisable.

b. Summer vacation as follows: from the third week in June through the end of the first week of August, at which time Respondent shall return minor child to Petitioner. Petitioner shall have one weekend of parenting time in June and one weekend of parenting time in July. The parties will mutually decide upon the particular dates for Petitioner's parenting time; if they cannot agree, it will be the last weekend in June and the third weekend in July.

c. Alternating holidays as follows: Easter, Memorial Day, Labor Day, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas (Respondent to have parenting time for one-half Christmas vacation every year), and the minor child's birthday.

d. Petitioner shall have the minor child for the weekend of Mother's Day; however, if this causes Respondent to miss a regular weekend visit, the missed visit will be made up within two weeks, unless the parties agree otherwise.

e. Respondent shall have the minor child for the weekend of Father's Day as part of his summer parenting time.

3. Other and Additional Times As Agreed to by Parties. The parties are free to agree to additional parenting time as needed for special family occasions and events. Both parties shall cooperate with each other and be flexible in dealing with unforeseen scheduling issues and any other matters that may arise, affecting the parenting time agreement. Both parties shall take all appropriate steps to avoid conflicts with the schedule, but shall accommodate whenever possible requests for changes so the minor child can attend important family and social events with both parents or with his friends and school.
 
 4. Shared  Oblicjation  for Transportion. Petitioner and Respondent shall share equally the costs and time associated with the transportation required for Respondent to exercise his parenting time.

5. No Interference. The parties are hereby advised that this Court will view any persistent failure to cooperate, unreasonable denial of parenting time, failure to provide prompt transportation, unreasonable failure to be prompt for exchanges, or any other obstacles or patterns of resistance to parenting time, as intentional interference of parenting time. In accordance with Minnesota law, such conduct could result in a change of custody of the minor child and/or revocation of this Conditional Order permitting Petitioner to move to Iowa with the minor child.

6. Duty of Good Faith. The parties shall use the utmost good faith in dealing with each other as to issues of visitation and other matters involving the couple's minor child. Neither party shall vilify or speak badly about the other parent in the presence or earshot of the child, and neither shall allow the child to be in the presence or earshot of any other person who vilifies and speaks poorly of the other parent. Each parent shall assist the child in making adjustments to the move, and other major changes in the home or living arrangements of the parent.

7. Suspension of Child Support in July. Provided that Respondent remains fully current in the payment of child support throughout the year as previously ordered (on October 26, 2002, as corrected in part on January 4, 2002), his child support obligation shall be suspended and not payable in the month of July every year, to allow for the additional expenses he will have for childcare during his summer parenting time, and also for the additional expenses of transportation occasioned by Petitioner's move to Iowa. This suspension of child support for one month each year is in the child's best interests as it will foster the parent and child relationship with the parent who does not have physical custody during the school year and needs funds to exercise parenting time. Court Administration shall serve a copy of this Order on Todd County Social Services, who shall not withhold child support in the month of July each year, provided that Respondent is current in his payment of support.

8. Retention of Jurisdiction. This Court shall retain jurisdiction of this matter as Minnesota is deemed the child's "home state" for purposes of child custody jurisdiction regardless of the child's move to the State of Iowa, until further Order of this Court. The Petitioner has made various representations to the Court as her lack of intent to deprive the child's father of parenting time and her ability and intent to assist with transportation needed to continue to foster the parent and child relationship between the child and his father. Petitioner's mother made this same representation to the Court in sworn testimony. This Court would not have found the move to be in the child's best interest were there not continuing jurisdiction to assure full compliance and cooperation with Respondent's parenting time.

9. Guardian ad Litem. The Respondent shall pay one-half of the total costs of the Guardian ad Litem on a schedule to be arranged with Todd County Court Administrator --------; the Petitioner, having proceeded In Forma Pauperis, has no present ability to contribute to said costs. The Guardian is hereby discharged from further duties in this case, with the thanks of the Court and the parties for her services in this matter.

10. Service of this Order. A copy of this Order shall be served upon the parties, the Guardian ad Litem, and Todd County Social Services Support Collection Officer (referencing suspension of support in July as per paragraph 7 above).


Dated this 3rd day of April, 2003.

BY THE COURT:



SALLY I----- R------
Judge of District Court
DISTRICT

 

~

Thanks for all the advice!  But I now found out the guy she is marrying. It throws a wrench into everything now...Back a few years she dated and moved in with a guy for a few years(when she had custody).

She then was going to suddenly move out of state, I then filed a motion restraining order to stop the move and get a court date. She in response moved into a woman's shelter and played the game that her boyfriend was the problem she moved out and they couldn't get along. (in court she described a incident that he spanked my son for something minor)

Well I lost that case and she moved to Iowa because she couldn't stay in the woman's shelter and couldn't move back with her boyfriend so she had to move to Iowa with her parents.

Following so far?....A year later she pulls the fast one and accuses me and eventually I win and get custody after 6 months of court.

Now for the kicker...she is moving in and marrying the same guy!? She told me she made a mistake then and if she knew what she did now then she would have stayed and gotten married along time ago.

Whether or not this guy was "abusive" or not never was really dug into while in court. I got him on the stand but there really wasn't much testimony as he became a 'non-issue' as he was out of the picture and the main reason was stopping the move to Iowa.

She has expressed that she is getting married down there an wants our son to be in the wedding.

Whether or not this guy is abusive or not I'm not sure...I think my ex just has a big time mental problem. lol

The GAL thought this too and ordered us to take that long mental test (forget the name but its big bucks!) She refused and I took it and passed.

Now I know it sounds silly, but I firmly believe that my son needs to see both parents. That's why I fought for custody in the first place. I would like to not have any fears about this an stay out of court...but she is asking allot of me.

What if things go bad down there? What if she 'over reacts' again? This woman is like a snake...I knew something was coming this summer.

I told her if she gets the judges blessing she will have mine...but until then I am having problems with this.

I'm afraid if we go to court now that I could really slam her hard by getting back together with this guy and wanting our son there across the country with them, with so many unknowns and past history that the judge may order no contact with her. Which would make my son bitter towards me.

I don't think she is really 'bad' for him...but she isn't really good mental wise for him either. She is damn good at making my life hard and I always feel like my son 'reports' back to her.

The move would be a good think as far as taking her control away...which is why I wonder why she has 'given up' or if this is just part of a bigger plan of hers???

Sometimes I think I may go nuts.

Should I allow the summer visitation?

Should I hang tough and insist the judge make a ruling on the visitation?

On a move away like this is it common that the parent with custody still split the cost of visitation (plane tickets)?

How would the Judge look at me just signing a mod. for visitation only to find out it was with this same guy?

I'm not sure really were to post this but here is the skinny...

As some of you know a few years ago I won custody of my son, he is 13 in April. X had custody for 10 years. She kept screwing witth my visitation and decided to move from MN to Iowa with her mom. I fought that move and lost. The judge warned her though any more interferance would be grounds to reverse custody. 1 year later she screws up big time and acusses me of 'touching' him, I win that one and it goes to court, along with the past history of everything, I win custody. Visitation: every other weekend, Holidays split on even and odd years. and she gets summer visitation.

Now fast forward to this weekend...She tells me (in front of our son) that she is getting married and moving to New Mexico!? She wants him for the summer and is going to fly him back at the end of her time.

This is the first I her of it and apperently the first our son hears of it. I am at a loss...should I be celebrating or what? I wanted custody becaused I believed we both should have shared time with him...and I did that, I gave report cars, updates etc etc.

Now she is going to give all that up to move across country with someone that apparently niether my son or me have meet, have him there all summer and I'm suppose to be OK with it?

Has anybody delt with this before?

Part of me is worried that she is rushing into this and dragging our son into a potentially bad situation all the way across the country. The more I think about it the more questions come to mind.

Should I allow her summer visitation in New Mexico without even meeting this other guy?

What if she meet him off the internet?

I can't afford a plane ticket. Can I demand to see a copy of the round trip plane ticket before he goes?

Do I even have to allow him to go without more info?

Am I over reacting to be worried or wonder??

Please any advice....