Topics

Posted on Mon, Apr. 18, 2005

Man upset with penile surgery mails bomb
Associated Press

STEVENS, Pa. - A man allegedly unhappy with penile-enlargement surgery he underwent mailed explosives to a Chicago plastic surgeon, according to a federal grand jury indictment.

Blake R. Steidler, 24, allegedly made an explosive device that included a model-rocket engine igniter inside a jewelry box, the federal indictment said.

Steidler drove to North Bloomfield, Ohio, on Feb. 10 and mailed the box, but then drive home to Lancaster County, called 911, and turned himself in, according to the indictment.

East Cocalico Township Police, who received the 911 call, apprehended Steidler and turned him over to federal authorities, who were holding him in Philadelphia, officials said.

Authorities called police in Ohio, who recovered the box from the mail and destroyed it. Special Agent John Hageman, a spokesman for the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms office in Philadelphia, said the device "should have functioned and produced an explosion. ... There may have been shrapnel."

The federal grand jury indictment charged Steidler with using a weapon of mass destruction, sending explosives through the mail, interstate transport of an explosive, and related offenses.
 

How many more children will suffer under the hands of this agency?  It doesn't matter where you live, this agency is broken and there needs to be some housecleaning (think Jesus in the temple).  Stories like this just make my blood boil.
==============================================
Mom charged with 4-year-old's murder
Florida authorities had been warned of motel room conditions
Thursday, December 16, 2004 Posted: 7:20 AM EST (1220 GMT)

 
ORLANDO, Florida (AP) -- Days before a 4-year-old girl died from a blow to the head in a filthy motel room shared with five siblings and her parents, the state child welfare agency was told about her living conditions but declined to investigate, according to documents released Wednesday.

Kai Gadison was found dead Monday after her mother called 911 to report the child wasn't breathing. She died of blunt force trauma to the head, an autopsy report said.

The mother, 27-year-old Kenya Hill, initially was held on charges of child abuse and violation of probation, but was charged Wednesday night with murder.

The other five children were being cared for in a foster home.

Sheriff's deputies found dirty diapers and spoiled food littering the motel room, urine-soaked mattresses and baby bottles containing moldy milk and what may have been maggots.

Hill's probation officer from a 2002 case of alleged child abuse had visited the motel on December 2, noted the conditions and later called a state Department of Children & Families abuse hot line.

The DCF replied that no law "prohibited a person from living in a one-room motel with their six children" and no further investigation was required, according to a Department of Corrections probation violation report.

DCF district administrator Mike Watkins confirmed that the agency received the call but said it "related to a housing concern" and that "no specific maltreatment was alleged."

Department of Corrections spokesman Sterling Ivey questioned why the agency did not act on the call that referred to a woman who previously had been under its supervision for child neglect and was on probation for that case.

Hill and her husband, Nathan Gadison, pleaded no contest in 2002 to charges stemming from his use of a belt to beat at least two children, including the girl who died this week, officials said Tuesday.

The child welfare agency briefly removed the two from the parents' custody but ended its supervision more than a year ago.

A sheriff's spokeswoman has said the husband is not considered a suspect in the child's death and may have been away from the motel at the time.

Gadison served nearly six months in jail in the 2002 case. Hill was sentenced to four months probation.

Meanwhile, the decision by the courts and DCF allowing Hill to regain custody of the children came under scrutiny following remarks by the investigating officer. Orlando police Detective Christopher Newton said his 2002 arrest warrant for Hill and Gadison warned prosecutors that he believed the children faced potentially fatal danger if returned to their mother.

The Florida Department of Children & Families has been under fire for a series of cases in which it lost track of children. In September, officials acknowledged that confidential records for nearly 4,000 abused and neglected children had been available for months on the Internet.

Man says live wire in bath was to save marriage
Thursday, October 28, 2004 Posted: 7:53 AM EDT (1153 GMT)

 
LA CROSSE, Wisconsin (AP) -- A man who said he threw a live electrical wire into his wife's bath hoping a near-death experience would save their marriage was convicted of attempted first-degree intentional homicide Wednesday.

William Dahlby said in court he was only trying to scare his wife the evening of May 9. He told jurors the wire was hooked to a "ground fault interrupter" designed to cut the electricity when the cord encountered water. His wife was not hurt.

Prosecutors said Dahlby was trying to kill his wife to start a new life with another woman.

Dahlby's wife, Mary, testified Tuesday her husband drew her bath after they spent the day taking a walk and a long motorcycle ride.

While she took her bath, her husband came into the bathroom and dropped the cord into the bath, she said.

She jumped out of the bath, but her husband tried to push her back in the tub, Mary Dahlby said. She got free and ran out of the bathroom.

Her husband, who also was convicted of intimidation of a victim, was scheduled for sentencing December 10.

Divorce May Have Affected Accused Boy

Published: 8/29/04
 
KATY, Texas (AP) - A 10-year-old boy accused of fatally shooting his physician father had watched his parents endure a messy divorce that included unproven allegations of sexual abuse.

Rick James Lohstroh, 41, was shot several times Friday as he sat in his sport utility vehicle after arriving to take the child for a weekend visit, police said.

The boy's mother, Deborah Geisler, had filed complaints with police during the 2003 divorce alleging that Lohstroh had molested their sons.

"He was very angry with his father," Geisler said in Sunday editions of the Houston Chronicle.

Lohstroh's attorney, Kathleen Collins, said police found no evidence to support the abuse claims. "This was one of the worst cases I've seen in terms of false allegations," she said.

The boy is being held in the Harris County Juvenile Detention Center pending a Monday hearing.

Geisler said she does not know how the boy got her gun, which she said she kept locked and unloaded in her home in Katy, about 30 miles west of Houston.

Lohstroh's co-workers at the University of Texas Medical Branch in Galveston said he was loved and respected, although he often complained about the divorce.

"Everybody who knew Rick knew that he had a tough divorce and had trouble with his ex-wife," said Dr. Brian Zachariah, director of the hospital's emergency department

[This post originally appeared on the "Mothers Without Custody" message board. - SPARC Admin]

This post originally appeared on the "Mothers Without Custody" message board. - SPARC Admin

I have seen the posts on the other boards that this board had been created, and while it irked me, I couldn't quite place my finger on WHY.  It JUST, and I mean JUST, occurred to me WHY I have a problem with this board.

This board, in my opinion, adds to the entire problem with the family court, custody and EVERYTHING that is wrong with family law today.  It goes to the heart of what we, as father's, are trying to fight everyday.  The societal view of each gender, and their role in raising the child/children of a marriage or relationship.

Think back to the way one reacts to different custody situations.  When you meet a custodial woman, we think nothing of it.  We might, if the conversation turns that way, and the custodial Mom is acting inappropriately, let our feelings be known, but it does not change the view of the person.  The same when we meet a noncustodial Dad.  We might give him advice, comisurate on the family court system, etc, but we think nothing of it.

BUT, when we meet a CUSTODIAL Dad, our first thought, even by those of us that KNOW that Dads are just as good as Moms at raising the children, is "Wow, what did she do wrong?".

Now, how does this board help empower that image?  Well, it acts like there are special problems associated with being a noncustodial Mom.  Problems that need to be addressed separately.  When this is simply NOT the case.  

I feel that there should be a board for mothers, or women, just as there is a board for fathers, but to place noncustodial Moms in a special category once again emphasizes the nonexistance difference between men and women as parents, and martyrs those women that do not get custody of the children.

That is just my opinion, I could be wrong.

Dads play a key role in kids' mental health

TUESDAY, Aug. 3 (HealthDayNews) — A father's good mental health can greatly reduce the negative impact of a mother's poor mental health on children's behavior and well-being.

That's what Cincinnati Hospital Medical Center researchers report in the August issue of the Archives of Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine.

"If a mother and father are depressed, the odds that a child will have behavioral or emotional problems go up eightfold," study author Dr. Robert S. Kahn, a physician/researcher in the division of general and community pediatrics, said in a prepared statement.

"The risk is less elevated if only the mother reported poorer mental health and not elevated at all if only the father reported poorer mental health," Kahn said.

The study also found that when both a mother and father have mental health problems, the influence on behavioral problems in their children is especially strong in boys.

Khan and his colleagues examined data from a survey of families of 822 children, aged 3 to 12.

"Many studies have shown that poor maternal mental health has negative impacts on their children's behavior and emotional health," study co-author Dr. Robert C. Whitaker said in a prepared statement.

"Rarely have studies used information about the mental health of both parents to assess outcomes in their children. This study suggests that what happens to children's well-being when their mothers suffer mental health problems depends on whether the father is healthy," Whitaker said.

-- Robert Preidt, HealthDayNews

What you can do
If your child seems to be having emotional problems, talk to his pediatrician. She'll be able to refer you to a therapist if needed.

If you're experiencing symptoms of depression or postpartum depression, talk to someone you trust about your feelings. Your doctor will be able to help you or refer you to a psychologist or psychiatrist.
• Talk to other parents who are dealing with depression.

• To learn more about adult depression, visit the National Institute of Mental Health's Web site or the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance's Web site.

Source: Cincinnati Children's Hospital Medical Center, news release, Aug. 2, 2004
Copyright © 1997-2004 ScoutNews, LLC. All rights reserved.

Posted on Fri, Aug. 06, 2004

 
OUR LIVES

Separated. 48 years of wondering. Then the phone rang.

PETER ST. ONGE

Staff Writer

For 48 years, he wondered about Rodney, what kind of life he was having, what kind of son he was becoming, then what kind of man. All these years, says Bill Chastain. The regret never went away.

He was 25 years old when his wife, Dorothy, left Charlotte for Albuquerque, N.M., with their son and another man. Rodney was 2 years old then. His father wanted to stay in contact. His mother wanted a fresh start from a rocky marriage. It was 1956.

Chastain remarried, eventually, and had five more boys. He thought about Rodney each year on his birthday, but also on days the family grilled in the back yard or took a trip together. He tried, too, to look for his son, but Dorothy had remarried and moved to other places.

He didn't know, then, that Rodney had asked about him as a youngster but learned little. He didn't know when Rodney Landis joined the Air Force and was stationed in Charleston, or that he married and had three children, or that he settled in Arizona, or that he cried when his grandbabies came into the world.

Rodney also thought about his father, especially on Father's Day, including this year when he called his stepfather in Pennsylvania to wish him a good day. His mother got on the phone then. She told him she had just been through Charlotte that week and had talked to his biological father. She took his telephone number.

On the phone, she gave it to her son.

He called Charlotte that day.

"My name's Rodney," he said to his father. "I want to wish you a happy Father's Day."

They talked for a long while, each stopping to cry more than once. Rodney laughed about his father now having three more grandchildren -- and seven great-grandchildren. Bill laughed about his son now having five younger half-brothers. He also said he was sorry, and that he and Rodney's mother were young and incompatible, but that he wished he had been a better husband and father.

He drove to Tucson, Ariz., two weeks later to spend 10 days with Rodney's family and begin to recover 48 years. He learned that his son tests aircraft generators for Honeywell, and that like his father he dotes on his lawn, and that like his father he values doing a job the best he can.

And also this: "There was an empty space in his life," said Bill Chastain, "and an empty space in mine."

On Thursday, he stood in the baggage claim area at Charlotte/Douglas International Airport. His wife, Iris, joined him, along with an assortment of sons and brothers. Later, they planned to take Rodney and his wife, Sue, to meet Rodney's 90-year-old grandmother, who all these years has kept a small photo of the boy at 6 months old.

All these years.

"Here he comes," Chastain said, pointing toward the escalator.

Rodney came down first. He hugged a brother, then an uncle, then a sister-in-law, then finally his father. A newfound family. Another chance.

"This is such a good feeling," he said softly into his father's ear. Bill Chastain said nothing. He couldn't. So they held on a little longer.

==============================================
     
Posted on Fri, Aug. 06, 2004
 
Photo helps locate N.C. child missing 4 years

Associated Press

MOBILE, Ala. - A 6-year-old North Carolina boy who had been missing for four years has been found living with his father, with the help of tipster who had seen a computer-enhanced picture of the child at a Web site.

Nicolas Dipietro vanished from his home in Sanford, N.C., on July 27, 2000. Authorities said the child's father, John Frederick Dipietro, took him without permission.

The mother, Dana Reece, had been searching for him ever since, with the help of the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children.

On Thursday, the child was found in a trailer home in west Mobile.

An age-enhanced image of the boy on the missing children center's Web site prompted someone in Mobile to call police with suspicions about the child's identity, said Assistant District Attorney Steve Giardini. He said the enhanced photo was "amazing" in its accuracy.

On the Web site, Nicolas' age and other statistics are displayed, along with the information that he "may be in the company of his non-custodial father. They may have traveled out of state to meet an adult female. Nicolas uses the nickname Nico. He has a birthmark on the back of his neck and dimples on his cheeks."

Giardini said the elder Dipietro, a restaurant worker, was away at his job when police officers found Nicolas with Dipietro's common-law wife and removed him. He was taken to Mobile County's Child Advocacy Center.

The prosecutor said Nicholas was being home-schooled. "You can imagine why that would be," he said.

After a night in a foster home the boy was to be reunited with his mother on Friday. She was traveling to Mobile from North Carolina.

Deborah Brady, a caseworker with the missing children's center in Alexandria, Va., said the child will not recognize his mother right away.

"It's very possible he won't have any clear memories of her," Brady said, but a favorite toy, or a photo of them together will help.

"They will find a way," Brady said. "She is his mother. And he is her son."

Prosecutors said they were unaware of any charges in the case.

---

Information from: The Mobile Register
 

 

My SD starts back to school August 9th. There is a Meet the Teacher at her school tomorrow night form 5:00 - 7:00. DH and I plan on attending and bringing SASEs to give to the teacher for forwarding report cards, daily reports and other school realted info. to DH. (DH and PBFH have joint legal custody so he's entitled to all medical/school records).
Last year PBFH had stepfather listed as father, which my DH corrected. I fully expect to see the same thing this year.
Also last year, after meeting the teacher, DH sent a FERPA letter. The "tone" of the letter was very friendly ("I've met the teacher and look forward to working together...blah blah blah") and we had no problems receiving any and all information from SDs teacher. (Royally pissed off the PBFH!!! LOL)  Some time sensitive information didn't get to us in time but I kept in contact with the teacher via e-mail so that wasn't too big of a deal.
I'm fully aware that SDs teacher this year may have different views regarding providing information to DH as he is the NCP. So, my questions are:

1) Should we take a copy of the parenting plan to show the teacher that DH has legal rights to this information? Or should we just wait and see how well teacher will do keeping DH informed and then present the parenting plan should she not want to compy?

2) Should we take a copy of the FERPA letter sent last year? This should be in SD's records but who's to say the teacher would even bother looking at the file (or if they ever do)?

3) Should DH request to see SDs file while we are there to make sure our contact information has been included and that the FERPA letter is in there?

Thanks in advance for your suggestions/opinions!

Jill

Just when you think you've heard it all!!


Grandparents sue over jailhouse baby
Mom won't be released until 2012
Monday, August 2, 2004 Posted: 6:09 PM EDT (2209 GMT)

 
KNOXVILLE, Georgia (AP) -- The grandparents of a child conceived while her parents were both in the Crawford County Jail want the county to help them support the baby.

LaTonya Finney and boyfriend, Adrian Howard, were jailed in 2002 to await trial on robbery charges. While they remained behind bars, Finney became pregnant.

They say they had been granted a conjugal visit, but the sheriff says the county has never allowed such contact.

Finney's parents, Ronnie and Patricia Finney, are asking the county to help pay for raising their granddaughter, Adrianna. Because their daughter was impregnated while in jail, they argue, Crawford County Sheriff Kerry Dunaway shares some of the responsibility -- and the cost -- while the tot's parents are both serving prison terms.

"I just think it's a very, very bizarre social conscience these people have that their daughter conceives a child and they think the sheriff is responsible," said county attorney David Mincey Jr.

The sheriff said he wasn't even aware of Finney's pregnancy until Howard filed suit demanding to be released from prison to care for Adrianna. That case is still pending.

The couple said Dunaway granted them a 45-minute conjugal visit in exchange for information, but the sheriff said Howard picked locks to gain access to the women's section of the jail.

Howard said there was no way he could have gotten through locked cell doors. "The sheriff let me through the door himself," he told the Macon Telegraph. "It was his decision ... now he wants to change his story about what really happened."

The elder Finneys say they have an income of only $1,741 in disability and welfare checks each month to raise their two other children and a niece, but are determined to continue raising Adrianna until her mother is released from state prison in 2012.

"I wanted that baby to grow up with some family members ... to know that she was loved," said Ronnie Finney.

This is what happens when you believe a lying, scheming woman! Get all agreements in writing because verbal don't me squat.

==============================================

Court Rules Sperm Donor Must Pay Support

Fri Jul 23, 8:40 PM ET  Add U.S. National - AP to My Yahoo!
 

By MARK SCOLFORO, Associated Press Writer

HARRISBURG, Pa. - A state appeals court ruled that a verbal agreement between a woman and her sperm donor was invalid, and ordered the man to pay child support for the woman's twins.

   

The three-judge panel ruled Thursday that the deal between Joel McKiernan and Ivonne Ferguson — in which McKiernan donated his sperm and would not be obligated to pay any support — was unenforceable because of "legal, equitable and moral principles."


Despite an agreement that appeared to be a binding contract, the father is obligated to provide financial support, the court decided.


"It is the interest of the children we hold most dear,'" wrote Senior Judge Patrick Tamalia.


McKiernan's attorney said he may appeal.


The decision could have implications for sperm and egg donors who expect anonymity, said Arthur Caplan, a professor and medical ethicist at the University of Pennsylvania.


"Anybody who is a sperm donor ought to understand that their identity could be made known to any child that's produced, and they could be seen by the courts as the best place to go to make sure the child has adequate financial support," he said Friday.


According to the trial judge's opinion, Ferguson and McKiernan met while working together and had a two-year affair. The relationship waned by late 1993, when Ferguson convinced McKiernan to act as a sperm donor with no responsibility for any child born as a result, the opinion said.


McKiernan, who has paid up to $1,520 a month in support since losing the case at trial, said he was not pleased with the ruling, but declined to comment further.


Ferguson's lawyer, Elizabeth Hoffman, said there was never evidence of an agreement between the two in which McKiernan would not have to pay any support.


"There was no evidence except his word and her word and it was a matter of credibility," she said.

Hi Everyone,

I just wanted to share this with you in case nobody else saw it or if you want to start watching it.

Last night I was fortunate enough to have control of the remote and the TV (woohoo!! LOL) and thought I'd see what topic Dr. Phil had for the evening.  Lo and behold...the topic was "Anatomy of A Divorce".  A couple has agreed to let Dr. Phil video and record them while they are going through a divorce. Talk about an eyeopener! And, of course, they're respective attorneys were in attendance as well!

My DH was on the computer but he heard me making some comments about the program and came in the livingroom to watch with me.  You could just see the anger, hatred and bitterness pouring out of the wife while the husband was playing the martyr ("She treats me so badly but nobody believes me when I tell them she acts this way", etc.). From what I could tell, they both needed to be smacked upside the head! LOL It was VERY apparent that BOTH of them were using the children against the other.

Anyway, the whole point of this post is, if you get a chance to watch it I highly recommend it. The next portion of this process will be on next Friday. I don't know if it will be on the daytime program as well as the evening program but I've set my DVR for Friday nights at 8:00 p.m. EST!

Posted on Tue, Feb. 10, 2004  
 
Homeless no more
Room 'such an opportunity for me'
MELISSA MANWARE
Staff Writer

 
LAYNE BAILEY - STAFF PHOTO
 
Gerald Rice, 47, holds a photograph of his 7-year-old daughter Jessica while standing in his room at the Salvation Army transitional housing center on Clanton Road.  

 
Gerald Rice, homeless three weeks ago when he pulled a disoriented 68-year-old man from the woods, has his own room tonight and half the money he needs to buy a car.

Rice, 47, moved into Salvation Army transitional housing Monday. He paid his first month's rent with money donated by people touched by an Observer story about how he paid two other men cigarettes for helping him carry the shivering man to a homeless shelter.

"I did it because the man looked like he needed help. I didn't know it would be a big deal," he said. "This is such an opportunity for me. I don't have to carry everything (I own) around anymore. I've got my own bathroom and a phone."

Since Rice's story ran Jan. 27, dozens of people have asked how to help him. His counselor at Urban Ministries has received $700 earmarked for Rice and a few calls about steady work for the unemployed construction worker. The counselor put the money into an account that she oversees.

Rice, who is from Rock Hill, said he left a good job in Sarasota, Fla., last year to live near his 7-year-old daughter, whose mom had moved to Fort Myers, Fla. He said he was having trouble getting hired there without a car, so he decided to come to Charlotte to spend a few months working for a friend who'd landed a job at the uptown arena site.

His plan was to save enough money to buy a car and then drive it back to Florida, where he could work and be near young Jessica.

"I told her I'd be home for Christmas," he said. "I had no idea it would be so hard."

Rice said the arena job fell through and he couldn't find another even though he has his own tools and can hang wallboard and do metalwork, framing and some plumbing.

For a while he lived in Rock Hill with Rodney Foley, a friend who teaches construction at Central Piedmont Community College. Foley, who met Rice at a construction job 18 years ago, said his friend couldn't find good work in Rock Hill, so he decided to move to Charlotte even if it meant sleeping on the floor in a shelter.

"I had the TV and all the food (at Rod's house), but it wasn't doing me any productive good," Rice said. "There is nothing for me there."

He discovered he could get hired doing daily construction work in Charlotte, but the jobs are given out daily and the line forms before 5:30 a.m. At first, he said, he stayed in cheap motels, but in early January his money ran out.

Rice, who graduated from Northwestern High School in Rock Hill and spent four years in the Army, said he'd lived in boarding houses before but it was his first time without a place to stay.

"For somebody who knows better and wants more, it's rough," he said.

Rice owns more than he can carry, so he kept some personal belongings hidden in the woods near Urban Ministries on Tryon Street. On Jan. 20, he went into the woods to get some of his things and saw the man sitting on the ground.

Rice assumed the man was homeless, so he told him he needed to get to a shelter. But the man didn't acknowledge him.

Rice went to the shelter and got the man some socks. He went back to the woods and helped the man put the socks on. After he realized the man couldn't walk, he offered some guys cigarettes in exchange for help getting him to safety.

The man, Lindsay Crawford, wasn't homeless. Police and his family had been searching for him for almost 24 hours. He'd become disoriented, left home the day before and then lost his car.

"You could tell he was a gentle old man. You could see it in his eyes," Rice said. "I thought he was just coming out of a drunk. Now I think the Lord was looking out for that guy and he thought he'd just have me be there."

Since the Observer told his story, someone called Rice's counselor about a potential construction job in Concord, but without a car or reliable ride he can't apply. A woman offered two months' free rent in an east Charlotte duplex in exchange for some odd jobs, but Rice decided the Salvation Army would be better because it's close to day-labor jobs.

Today, he will pick up a $100 reward from CrimeStoppers.

Rice doesn't think he deserves all the attention. Foley thinks it's been good for him.



"He just did the right thing because that's the way Gerry is," Foley said. "All the talk of reward made him uncomfortable. But the attention has helped him see that he has value and people can like him for who he is."

Rice's plan is to live for several months at the Salvation Army while he saves enough money to buy a car and get set up in a new place. Then, he will move back to Florida to be near Jessica. With a car, he thinks getting a good job there will be easier.

In the meantime, he sends her Barbie doll clothes, crayons, books and other inexpensive toys. He calls her at least once a week. And he keeps pictures of her and her artwork in his wallet, and a letter she sent in his coat pocket.

"Basically, she is what makes me happy," he said.
 
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

This is a really cool story and shows what a non-custodial father will do to be with his child. I hope he makes it. And I hope this little girl realizes what a great Daddy she has.

My DH is paying child support for two children (different BMs). His CS is taken out of his paycheck bi-weekly. CS for his son was increased in August 2003 so of course that created an arrearage. Also, because of the increase, BM for his son is now getting a higher percentage of CS paid in, which means that his ex is getting a smaller cut, which has created an arrearage there.
I've been working on our taxes and trying to figure out whether to file jointly and include an injured spouse claim with the tax return or if it would be better to file separately. We have a 20 month old daughter and I'm claiming her on my taxes. I know that I can get the child tax credit for her but when because my DH and I live together I can't take the credit for child care expenses if I file separately. That makes absolutely no sense to me! And, because we live together, I can't even claim head of household, which would allow me to take the child care expenses credit and give me a bigger refund.
It is my understanding that filing an injured spouse claim is no guarantee and that it is in their discretion to take either half or all of any refund due when an injured spouse claim is filed.
Has anybody had any experience with this where you filed jointly with an injured spouse claim and they still took the entire refund? What did you do? Does anybody know if there's a way for me to be able to take the child care expense credit and/or file head of househould? Or should I just talk to a tax advisor?
Thanks for your help!
Jill

Just goes to show you that some CP's are going to be unreasonable no matter what the circumstances are.
Go Panthers!!!!!


Posted on Fri, Jan. 30, 2004  
 
Lawyer: Jenkins' son won't attend Super Bowl
TIM WHITMIRE
Associated Press

CHARLOTTE, N.C. - Kris Jenkins' son will not join his All-Pro father at the Super Bowl in Houston.

A lawyer for the Carolina Panthers' All-Pro defensive tackle said Friday morning that negotiations to bring 2-year-old Kris Jr. to Sunday's game had broken down.

"We proposed several other responsible, close family members to accompany little Kris and she unreasonably refused them all," Tamela Wallace told The Associated Press. "However, negotiations finally broke down (Thursday) night when her own attorney offered to accompany (Kris Jr.) to Houston and she refused that as well."

Jenkins had spent the better part of the last two weeks trying to arrange a way to have his son attend Sunday's game between the Panthers and the New England Patriots.

Jenkins and the boy's mother, Shadeeka DeLotch, share custody of the child and normally, Jenkins visits his son Sunday through Tuesday of alternating weeks, with visits on Monday and Tuesday of the weeks when he does not have a Sunday visit.

This is not a week when he sees Kris Jr., on Sunday. At first, DeLotch balked when Jenkins asked her to make an exception.

The sides agreed last week to change the schedule, but one of the problems is that Jenkins' father, who is supposed to take Kris Jr., to the game, is terrified of flying and needs to be sedated during the flight from Charlotte to Houston.

"Like any responsible parent, she simply sought some assurance that her son will be safe before she puts her 2-year-old onto an airplane," DeLotch's lawyer, Pete McArdle, said earlier this week.

McArdle did not immediately return a message Friday morning seeking comment.

Jenkins' lawyer Wallace said DeLotch's refusal to let the boy go to the Super Bowl with anyone but herself made it "abundantly clear to us that Ms. DeLotch was not acting out of any concern for her child's well-being but was completely motivated by her own self interests in attending the Super Bowl."
 

DH received two bills in the mail over the weekend from SD's therapists office.  One was for a visit in July 2006!  The other was for a visit in January 2007.  Neither one was for very much money.  I'll be sending those back with nice little notes that DH isn't responsible for the bills.  Be interesting to see how that turns out!  LOL

Some of you may already be aware of these sites but I've just found out about them and wanted to share them. It's hard being a stepmother (or stepfather for that matter!) so any help we can find/get is wonderful!
I subscribe to Child and Parenting magazines and it seems that the past few issues have had articles reltaing to divorce/separation/stepparenting. It's good to see that they are realizing that all families aren't made up of Mommy, Daddy and children. Child magazine has gone so far as to have a monthly column that is written by two women in a very unique situation. One of the women is married to the other woman's ex husband and is stepmother to the children from the first marriage.  They are very frank about how they didn't get along in the beginning but now they are friends!  Wouldn't THAT be something??!!   They have written a book together and started a website, which I think is one of the websites I'm posting.
Anyway...enough babbling!  Here are the websties:

//www.comamas.com
//www.bonusfamilies.com
//www.kidsncommon.com

I got these websites from an article in Parenting magazine titled "The Other Woman in Your Life (For ex-wives and stepmoms: A guide to getting along"

DH had SD this weekend. Saturday we went to my nephew's birthday party and afterwards we met a friend and her son "Joe" for dinner.  I noticed that SD was "flirting" (or whatever it is 7 year olds do when they think a boy is cute!) with "Joe" (who is 11).  On the way home we were asking if she enjpoyed meeting "Joe" and DH asked SD if she thought "Joe" was cute. All she could do was giggle and she wouldn't answer. So we were teasing her about it a little.
Yesterday we met my SIL and one of her friends at a local festival. We were sitting at a table eating and I was telling SIL and her friend about having dinner with our friend and her son. I really didn't have to say anymore than that because they were able to put two and two together.
I had my head down and next thing I know I feel something flying past my head. SD had thrown a piece of chicken at me!  I was absolutely flabbergasted at this at first and then I told her that she better not ever do anything like that again. That you don't throw things at people and you don't do that to people. SIL leaned over and said something to SD that I didn't hear. DH FINALLY says to SD "Isn't there something you should say to Jill?" And then she (not very convincingly) says she's sorry.  DH did nothing and didn't say anything else to SD about what she did.
DH and I ended up getting into an argument because I took DD on a ride without SD.  I had to take DD to the potty and there was a ride she wanted to ride. When I got back to the table I told DH that I was going to take DD back to ride the boats and he said that SD was on the slide and she'd probably want to ride the boats too. I was still mad about the chicken throwing incident and really didn't want to be anywhere near SD at the time. So now I'm the bad guy because I 1) took DD on a ride without SD,  2) got mad about having a piece of food thrown at me and 3) mad because DH did absolutely nothing in the way of discipline for this action.
DH had the nerve to tell me that SD was just playing!! Just playing??!!! Are you freaking kidding me??!! Like I told him, she's 7 years old...old enough to know the dfference between right and wrong...and she knows that throwing food at me (or anybody else for that matter) is wrong. I told him that she knew exactly what she was doing and that it was intentional.  Of course that degenerated into an argument on how I let our DD (who is 2) get away with murder and how I'm too hard on SD.  GRRRRRRRRR
We got a weekly mailing from her teacher on Saturday and for once it included the weekly behavior report. There was a check mark beside "Needs to respect others and their ideas."  OK...so I guess the teacher is being too hard on her too??!!  Oh no...wait...I know! SD is just playing! She's not being disrespectful!  ARRGGHHHH This man is so blind to how SD behaves!! It's driving me crazy!!
So...am I being the evil stepmother??

My SD is 6 years old. She'll be 7 in a couple of weeks. She was at our house last weekend.  I was putting up clothes last night and went into SD's room to put away the clothes she'd worn while at our house. While I was in her room I found a piece of play food from DD's (2 year old daughter with DH) play kitchen in SD's room. She and a friend had been playing with the kitchen on Sunday afternoon and figured she'd just forgotten to return it.
DD has several trinket boxes, cubes and other lidded containers for storage in her room and she has a habit of "hiding" things (money, necklaces, crayons, small toys, etc.) in these containers. So, seeing the play food on top of her dresser I thought there might be other items from the kitchen "hidden" in the room so I start looking in all the "hiding" places. SD has a wooden cube with a lid beside her dresser. When I opened the lid there was a pair of SD's underwear in there. When I picked them up there was poop all over them!! I could not believe what I was seeing!! This wasn't a case of she had the runs either. This was regular poop!
I called for DH to come upstairs, showed him the soiled panties and told him where I'd found them. His response?  She probably just had an accident and was too embarassed to say anything. You know who/how her Mother is. I very calmly said "Yes it probably was. Yes she probably was. Yes I do know who she has to live with." Then he says to me "What do you want me to do about it?" What do I want you to do about it??!!!! Good Lord man!! The girl left nasty dirty underwear hidden in her room!! I don't for one minute think she had an accident. She is old enough to know when she has to go to the bathroom and she's old enough to know that what she did is wrong. Who knows how long they would have stayed in that enclosed box if I hadn't found them last night. They would be quite ripe by the time we found them. I just threw the panties away. That's how nasty they were.
I really don't know how to handle this situation or how DH should handle this situation.  I know it was intentional but I can't prove it. And, IF DH does say something to SD about it she'll just use the same excuses he gave to me last night and it will all be OK. Well I'm sorry, but it's NOT OK to do that.  And another thing that chaps my butt about this is DH always complains how the PBFH makes excuses for SD when she gets in trouble at shcool. Well excuse me Mister...but what did you just do??  I can't imagine her doing something like that at her Mommy's house so why do it at our house??
Has anybody else had this happen? I'm just flabbergasted by the whole thing. I know there's a deeper issue here but for the life of my I don't know what it could be. And I doubt very seriously that SD will give us any insight into the problem either.
One thing of note....I am in the process of potty training DD. And as you all know, getting them to pee in the potty is the easy part! SD always hangs around when I am changing DD's pants and/or taking her to the potty so, naturally, she's seen some pretty messy pants. Could this be the reason? Reverting back to her potty training days or something? (I know...it's a stretch!) I do know that when SD was potty training she would get very upset when she had an accident in her pants or in bed. We always assured her it was OK and that sometimes she will have accidents and that as she got older she wouldn't have any more accidents  We also encouraged her to go to the potty more often and would remind her to go to the potty. We're pretty certain that the PBFH made it hard on SD when she had accidents.
Am I overreacting or what?
Thanks for any comments or suggestions.

For the past few years, DH and PBFH have been co-existing somewhat peacefully regarding parenting time.  DH has been getting EOW and they alternate holidays. Every once in a while there would need to be a change due to family events and those were accomodated with minimal to no fuss. PBFH has sole physical custody and they have joint legal custody.

We found out 2 weeks ago that PBFH and her husband had separated and are getting a divorce. Now that she doesn't have to try to prove that DH is the one who causes problems (which I'm sure her soon to be ex has figured out that she's just as much to blame as my DH!), she has decided it's time to start back with her games as relates to DH's parenting time.

This is PBFH's year to have SD for Halloween. The way the "schedule" falls out DH would have her that weekend.  When we dropped SD off last Sunday PBFH brought up this issue and DH said we would just swap weekends. We would have SD on the weekend of 10/15 - 10/17 (regularly scheduled weekend) and again the weekend of 10/22 - 10/24 so that SD would be there with PBFH for weekend of Halloween. She then made the comment "Then I'll have her 2 weekends in a row after that?" I normally don't insert myself in these conversations, but my mouth went in gear before I thought and I stated that because DH would have had SD for Halloween this year, but that it was her year to have her, all they were doing was swapping weekends and that it would go back to the normal schedule after that. DH said he'd talk to her about it later after he had a chance to look at the calendar.

When DH had a chance to look at the calendar he was going to propose the following parenting time:

DH: 10/15 to 10/17; 10/22 to 10/24
PBFH: Halloween weekend
DH: 11/05 to 11/07
PBFH: following two weekends prior to Thanksgiving
DH: 11/24 to 11/28

The reason for giving PBFH 2 weekends in a row in November is to have the parenting fall to where DH has SD for Thanksgiving as it's our year to have her.  The same situation is going to arise in December because it is PBFH's year to have her for Christmas.

DH called last night and talked to SD for a few minutes and then talked to PBFH. When DH told her the above schedule she was not pleased. She wants to have SD Hallowee weekend and the following weekend. Now it seems that there is a family reunion that weekend that she wants SD to attend.  She also sees DH having SD two weekends in a row as him getting an extra weekend. Huh??? They're just swapping for pete's sake!! It ended with PBFH hanging up on DH, calling back later and then hanging up on him again. Somewhere in all the fighting she made the comment that what she was proposing was fair.  Not the comment to make to DH!  He went ballistic and said "What is fair about any of this? You see her every day! I see her 2 -3 times a month to what comes out to be 1 full day out of those 2 - 3 times a month. She's my daughter too. Tell me how any of this is fair?" That's about the time she hung up I believe.

I told DH last night that he should send her a Notice of Intent to Exercise Visitation and send a copy to the Clerk for the file. Now, here's my dilema: the current Parenting Plan isn't worth the paper it's written on. There is no schedule setting out visitation.  The Order reads as follows:
"Child will reside in the primary care and residence of her mother and spend time with her father as his schedule permits." (At the time this was written up DH was working different shifts so he never knew when he was going to have a weekend off). "Parents will alternate all major holidays, however, if the designated parent must work on his/her scheduled holiday, child will spend that holiday with the other parent. The holiday schedule will remain negotiable between parents with the following exceptions: Mother's Day/Father's Day - child will spend time with the honored parent. Parent's Birthdays - child will spend time with the honored parent." See what I mean? It's crap.

I was reading over the SPARC letter and if DH used it, it would need to be modified to fit the situation. BUT, I'm not even sure he COULD use it since there's no Court Ordered Parenting Time Schedule. What he'd like to see happen is: we set out in the letter that DH will have SD weekends stated above. That DH agrees to PBFH having SD for the next two weekends so she can have her for Halloween and so SD can attend family reunion. That DH will then have SD for the following three weekends, which constitutes making up for missing his normally scheduled weekend, his normally scheduled weekend and his time for Thanksgiving. I know that this will most likely make PBFH go ballistic and she will refuse.  The CO states "Both parents agree that when a parent requests a change of schedule that will impinge on the other parent's time, they will need to compensate for that time within a reasonable time frame." I'm thinking the above proposition meets that requirement.

So, to my questions (finally!):

1.  Since DH and PBFH have been adhereing to an EOW/alternate holiday schedule of their own accord, will the Court look at this as being their ordinary course of dealing even though it's not in writing and hasn't been court ordered?

2.  If we send PBFH the Notice of Intent to Exercise Visitation and she refuses to let DH take SD for one of the three weekends in a row could he charge her with contempt, even though there is no court ordered parenting time schedule?

3.  Anybody got any suggestions? LOL

Thanks!

Jill

For some time now DH has talked about changing his parenting agreement (SD was 2 when it was filed!) but he's never done anything more than that.  Yesterday was the last straw for him and he's ready to finally stop the BS.  There has definitely been some PAS going on.  We didn't know how bad until last night when DH talked to SD. (We have her one night out of the week and EOW.)

He told the Ex yesterday that he wanted to have SD live with us for the summer.  She told him flat out "NO".  There's no compelling reason why she shouldn't be allowed to spend the summer with us.  We live about 20 minutes from the Ex. He told the Ex he's trying to work things out with her amicably but if she doesn't want to cooperate then he'd see her in court. Looks like it's going to be court.

Right now the ex has sole physical custody and they have joint legal custody.  I began a draft of a parenting plan that basically supersedes and replaces the current order.  He is looking for shared physical and joint legal custody.

We were initially looking at one week with us/one week with the Ex but think that may be too much back and forth.  So, now we're thinking two weeks with us and two weeks with the Ex.

Has anyone done this type arrangement before?  Also, going with the two weeks custodial time, I'm having a bit of trouble with the wording for the paragraph that sets out the custodial time for each parent.

Here's part of the parenting schedule section:

"Regular Parenting Time

4.   Beginning Friday _______________________, 2007, the following PERMANENT Parenting schedule shall be in effect:

1.   ______ and ______ shall share Parenting Time equally.

2.   Each Parent shall have custody of _____ for two weeks at a time beginning on Friday evening at 5:00 p.m. and ending on the second Friday evening at 5:00 p.m.  _____, or his wife, ________, shall pick ________ up from after school care beginning on ______'s custodial Friday evening.  _______ will pick _________ up from after school care on the second Friday evening on which her custodial time begins."

Can you say awkward??!!  I just don't want there to be any doubt/loopholes on this.  I appreciate any comments/suggestions on the wording and the feasibility of two week custodial time.

P.S.  DH has an appointment with his attorney next Thursday and I'll be taking a draft of the new parenting plan for her review.

BOOKS-A-MILLION NONFICTION BOOK PREVIEW CLUB
======================================

A KIDNAPPED MIND
by Pamela Richardson (nonfiction)

Published by Dundurn Press
ISBN: 1550026240
Copyright (c) 2006 by Pamela Richardson

=======================================

FROM THE BOOK JACKET:

This is both a heart wrenching story by a mother grieving
for her son and the introduction of a new and little known
syndrome, Parental Alienation Syndrome, identified in 1985
by Dr. Richard Gardner. PAS is a childhood disorder seen
primarily in children involved in custody disputes. From
age five Pamela Richardson's son, Dash, suffered from PAS
at the hands of his father. Indoctrinated to believe his
mother had abandoned him, after years of monitored phone
calls and impeded access eight-year-old Dash decided he
didn't want to be "forced" to visit her at all; later he
told her he would never see her again if she took the case
to court. For eight more years Pamela battled Dash's
father, the legal system, their psychologist, the school
system, and Dash himself to try to protect her son--first
from his father, then from himself.

======================================

FOREWORD

Children enter this world completely dependent upon those--usually
their parents--who are entrusted with their care. Parenting styles
and the ability to parent may vary, but most parents manage this
important life task quite successfully. Nevertheless, some children
are failed by parents who are incapable of childrearing.

Mothers and fathers who are limited by physical or mental disabil-
ities, poor health, alcohol or substance abuse, criminality,
poverty, war or otherwise, often show a general lack of desire to
invest in their children's upbringing. Children in these situations
are either left to fend for themselves or are in the care of family
members, friends and neighbours or social agencies.

But another class of parents has also been found to fail at
appropriately protecting, nurturing, educating and guiding their
children. Mothers and fathers in this relatively new and emerging
group do not fit the stereotype of the deficient and ill-equipped
parent. Instead, these parents are generally quite articulate,
resourceful and competent in all other aspects of their lives--
except in the realm of parenting. In fact, these individuals might
easily be mistaken for ideal parents, except to the properly
informed, because they profess love and concern for their children.
What sets these individuals apart from other dysfunctional parents
is their overwhelming commitment to meet their own needs first. In
doing so, they destroy the relationship their children have with the
other parent--at whatever cost.


"A Kidnapped Mind" by Pamela Richardson chronicles her son Dash's
painful emotional descent, which ultimately culminated in his
s uicide. This is an extremely sad but powerful account of the
circumstances involved in Dash's struggle to survive in an environ-
ment in which his father placed his own selfish need to punish his
ex-spouse ahead of the needs of his dependent child. This was an
environment in which Dash was held psychologically hostage for
nearly eleven years of his sixteen-year life.

"A Kidnapped Mind" is more than a story about a mother's plight to
win back custody of her son following an acrimonious divorce and
custody battle. Rather, it is a story of the emotionally damaging
fallout that occurs when a child is wrongfully robbed of his right
to love and be loved by both of his parents. It is also a story of
the court system's ignorance toward children's needs and its
unwillingness to look beyond the legal infrastructure in order to
examine why a once healthy, happy and well-functioning child, who
experienced reciprocally warm and positive relationships with both
of his parents, systematically and without cause rejected one parent
and denied himself the love and nurturing that would sustain him.

While Dash's experience represents the absolute worst possible
outcome of "parental alienation syndrome," an increasingly common
by-product of contested custody cases, it must be understood that
countless numbers of children are suffering on an ongoing basis
while they are in the care of parents who place more value on
getting even with their ex-spouse without regard to how this may
impact their child. More importantly, these same parents are
deliberately and without cause motivated and consumed with des-
troying the bond that exists between their child and their other
parent. Although parental alienation syndrome remains controversial
due to its politicization by special interests groups such as
Justice for Children and the National Alliance for Family Court
Justice, which have a vested interest in its non-existence, it is
nevertheless a phenomenon that professionals have observed with
increasing frequency ever since the 1980s, when the courts con-
sidered joint custody as a more optimal parenting option following
divorce.

I believe that "A Kidnapped Mind" will provide important insights
into the needs of children of divorcing parents in a way that the
theoretical or empirical contributions of academics have not been
able to achieve. For this reason, "A Kidnapped Mind" should be
required reading for all family court judges, family law lawyers and
anyone involved with divorcing families.

I applaud the strength, perseverance and commitment that Pamela
Richardson showed throughout Dash's life, and which endures now in
her efforts to ensure that his death was not in vain. I am truly
honoured by the opportunity to contribute to this excellent book.


"Dash, rest in peace knowing that you were always loved and
cherished by a truly remarkable mother, who is much greater than the
'good parent' the court saw."
--REENA SOMMER, PhD
Divorce and Custody Consultant

(continued on Tuesday)

*Share your thoughts and comments about this week's book
with other readers at Book Club Forum.
Go to: http://www.emailbookclub.com/talk.html

Distributed By: DearReader.com, 1002 S Orange Ave, Sarasota FL 34236

Posted on Tue, Aug. 23, 2005

$1 million bond set for jailed mother
Woman refuses to turn kids over to ex-husband
ERIC FRAZIER
Staff Writer

A Charlotte mother has been arrested on felony child abduction charges and jailed on $1 million bond for refusing to obey court orders to return her children to their father.

Natalie Gibbons was being held Monday in a Mecklenburg jail, three days after she was arrested on two counts of felony child abduction -- one count for both children involved, ages 8 and 10.

Her arrest left local authorities and news media fielding letters and phone calls of protest from as far away as Washington, D.C., and California.

The jailing is the latest twist in what might rank as one of Charlotte's most acrimonious child custody disputes. Natalie Gibbons, 48, refused to turn the children over because she believes their father intentionally showed them pornography.

John Gibbons, 62, denies that. The children have since been returned to him.

Following a hearing last month, Mecklenburg District Judge Nathaniel Proctor ruled that the children had been exposed to pornography, but ruled that it wasn't intentional on the part of Gibbons.

Natalie Gibbons had temporary custody at the time, and Proctor ordered that the children be returned to John Gibbons immediately. Proctor said she'd kept the children from their father in violation of previous court orders, and the judge directed police to "take all appropriate steps reasonably necessary" to make sure she complied, court papers say.

Gibbons, in an interview with the Observer before Friday's arrest, said she would disobey the order, regardless of the consequences.

"I just know I love my kids," she said. "I'm in a predicament. (The judge) is asking me to do something I can't do."

John Gibbons, a retired real estate broker, said his ex-wife uses the courts and child welfare systems to harass him. He said he has been arrested five or six times on warrants alleging everything from domestic violence to stalking.

None of the charges stuck, he said.

Natalie Gibbons was first arrested on Aug. 11 on the child abduction charges, jail records show. She told the Observer the children weren't with her at the time of the arrest. After a magistrate let her leave jail without posting a cash bond, she still didn't turn the children over to her ex-husband.

But on Friday, police came for her again at her south Charlotte home. John Gibbons said he had nothing to do with the criminal charges.

"I've got nothing to hide," he said. "The kids have told (child welfare investigators) they're very happy."

Natalie Gibbons never tried to run away with the children, according to her boyfriend, Charlotte-Mecklenburg police officer Jeff Bingham. He doesn't understand why a civil child custody case should lead to her arrest on a criminal abduction charge, or why her bond would be set so high.

"I've never seen anything like this," he said. "It's a joke."

The Gibbonses parted ways in 2000. Court records show both have been in and out of court since, lodging various civil and criminal charges against each other. The accusations range from child neglect to sexual abuse to communicating threats.

Court papers say Natalie Gibbons lost primary custody of the children in 2003, but in June she filed a domestic violence complaint seeking temporary custody. That court document wasn't available for inspection Monday, but John Gibbons said the complaint alleged sexual improprieties on his part.

A judge granted Natalie Gibbons temporary custody.

At a court hearing in July, the Gibbonses' adult daughter, Tess, testified that she saw her younger siblings watching televised pornography with their father in his bedroom, but he was asleep.

A therapist hired by Natalie Gibbons testified that the children told her their father had shown them pornography on several occasions. Court papers say the therapist also described incidents of "sexualized behavior" by the children.

A child welfare investigator testified that the two children had been the subject of 13 child maltreatment reports. The investigator testified that she'd interviewed the children and their parents, but the children denied the sexualized behavior described by the therapist.

Both denied their father was a problem and said they were comfortable with him, court papers say.

The investigator concluded the children probably had been exposed to pornography and were playfully "acting out" in a sexualized way, but the behavior wasn't unusual or troublesome.

Proctor, who declined to discuss the case with the Observer, found that Gibbons hadn't intentionally allowed it. Gibbons, meanwhile, maintains it never happened.

The case has attracted attention from national child advocates who say they are concerned that children have been allowed to stay with their father despite the pornography findings.

"I don't think it's being taken seriously enough," said Eileen King, a Washington, D.C.-based regional director with Justice for Children, a national child advocacy organization. "It seems to us to be something they should be very worried about."

Any of you NC people out there have a sample Motion to Modify Custody I can use?

Thanks!

Posted on Wed, Sep. 01, 2004
 
'Missing' girl from New Orleans found in N.C.

Associated Press

NEW ORLEANS - A 13-year-old girl reported missing over the weekend by her mother was found safe in North Carolina with her father Wednesday. The girl's mother was arrested for filing a false report, police said.

The teen, Kelsey Ann Davis, was found living with her father in Wilkes County, N.C., New Orleans police said. Her mother, Melissa Davis, had told police the girl went missing Saturday from their New Orleans hotel room.

Davis, 34, also gave tearful television news interviews, saying she and her daughter were staying at the hotel briefly after moving to New Orleans from South Carolina. She said her daughter had disappeared from the room when she woke up Sunday.

Police said Davis knew her daughter's whereabouts and intentionally withheld the information from investigators. She was booked with injuring public records by filing a false report.

Amber Alert
 
Lousiana
Schidee J Carries

Published: 8/10/04
By

The Natchitoches Parish Sheriff's Office has requested an Amber Alert for the following missing child: Schidee J Carries, black male, 7 years of age, approximately 4 feet tall, 90 lbs., unknown clothing.

Suspect: Betty Y Garrett, black female, approximately 5 feet 3 inches tall, 115 lbs, 44 years of age. Garrret's last known address is: 1978 Hwy 6 in Natchitoches, LA

Vehicle information: 2003 Dodge Durango, gold in color, California License 5BAW901

Betty Garrett, mother of Schidee J Carries and the non-custodial parent, has not returned the child to the father following visitation. Since the expected return date, Garrett has told a reliable source she would kill Schidee and commit suicide instead of returning the child to the father. Garrett is described as mentally unstable and is awaiting trial for Attempted Second Degree Murder of her adult son. There is currently a warrant for interference of custody of child out of Natchitoches Parish. She is considered dangerous.

Anyone with information should contact Natchitoches Sheriff's Office 318-357-7830.

Talk about being between a rock and a hard place!! Be interesting to see if this Mother does as the Judge ordered.


Posted on Thu, Aug. 05, 2004

Woman Ordered to Quit Porn to Get Daughter

Associated Press


NEW BRAUNFELS, Texas - A former porn star was awarded custody of her 3-year-old daughter, but the judge added one condition: that she not make any more adult movies.

Judge Charles Stephens acknowledged that he faced a difficult decision in arriving at Wednesday's ruling.

The mother, Laura Carney, has made several pornographic movies, and is known on film as Barbi Korvette, Slavegirl and Dmii Darkangel. The father, Patrick Carney, admitted that he attended clubs where his wife performed, sold her merchandise, viewed pornography on the Internet and hired prostitutes.

The judge said he had to award custody to "someone who is an admitted porn entertainer (or) someone who was involved in porn, viewed it and can't remember the last time he's hired a prostitute."

Laura Carney, 35, accused her husband of pressuring her into the porn industry then using her past against her. She left him in 2001.

Patrick Carney, a financial services worker, said he had little involvement in his wife's work and now teaches Sunday school at his church.

http://slate.msn.com/id/2102650/


This is a very interesting article about the Family Court system written by Michael Newdow, the father who wanted to have "God" removed from the Pledge of Allegiance. No matter where you stand on the Supreme Court's ruling in that matter, I must say he hit the nail on the head in this article.  I don't think you'll be able to click on the above link to open the article so I would try to type in the link and see if that works.  If not, then just to to MSN.

Jilly

Ex has sole physical custody. DH and Ex have joint legal custody and CO states he has the right to school/medical records.

My DH has an appointment to meet with SDs school counselor and teacher on Wednesday, April 13th.  DH, Ex and teacher were given a Connor's test to help the school evaluate if SD has social/psychologial/ADHD problems.  DH got the results regarding the teachers answers right before Spring Break and she was "typical" in only one area.  In all other areas SD was found to have "significant problems".  Cognitive ability was found as "possible to significant problem".  We don't know what results were regarding answers Ex provided.

There were several questions that DH couldn't answer because they required him seeing SD on a daily basis (i.e. "Complains of stomache before going to school").  School counselor has asked DH if he would complete another test as the one he did previously can't be rated because it's incomplete.  Thus, the meeting with the counselor.

I know that under FERPA he can't see or get copies of the counselor's notes regarding SD.  Can she talk to him about her findings in general and/or give him more specific information/examples of things SD has said?

Also, SD is seeing a psychologist through a local hospital. This is due to the separation of her Mom and SF.  SD is having a very hard time dealing with this.  She told DH over Easter that she's tired of hearing her Mommy talk about how much she misses SF.  So obviously, SD is hearing things and seeing things she doesn't need to know about.  It is my understanding that SF is still carrying SD and Ex on his health insurance.  DH has never carried SD on his insurance.

Since SD is seeing a psychologist for reasons unrelated to DH and SF's insurance is covering the visits, can DH request copies of the psychologist's records and/or request an appointment with the psychologist to discuss SD?  I have felt all along that DH needed to be involved with this counseling as well.  However, I don't know if it's just SD going or if it's family counseling.  Would the same rule apply to these records as the school counselor's records?

DH and Ex talked for over an hour on the phone last nite. (Darn! Wish that conversation was recorded!)  She told DH that she was going to be taking SD to see a doctor at pediatrician's office that specializes in ADHD.  She made no mention of the Connor's test results or if she has talked to the school counselor about them.  He didn't tell her about his appointment next week.  Fortunately, our DD goes to the same pediatrician as SD.  Think I will be sending a request (with copy of CO included) to their office for copy of their file or at least request access to it. Should make for some interesting reading.

Thanks for any information/suggestions.

Last year DH was kept informed of school activities, copied on everything and was informed about SDs behavior problems in school. Her 1st Grade teacher was awesome! This year it's been like pulling teeth.  We're lucky to get what little bit we do. It's apparent from the 2 mid-term progress reports and the one (first) report card we've received that SD is having extreme behavior problems at school. Has DH been informed or been asked for his assistance in this? HELL NO!
So...I get home from work yesterday and there's one of the SASEs DH provided to the teacher. Open it up and what do you think is in there? It's a form that the teacher wants DH to complete and send back ASAP. What is this form you ask? It's called Connes' Parent Rating Scale - Revised (L) by C. Keith Conners, Ph.D.  What is the purpose of this form you ask?  Why it's to rate a "number of common problems that children have"! Such as: angry and resentful, has no friends, loses friends quickly, does not seem to listen to what is being said to him/her, etc. You get the picture.  There is also a photocopy of a letter that was sent to DH's ex regarding a meeting the teacher had with the Student Services Management Team abou SD and that they are going to meet in 4 weeks to see what else can be done to make school a positive learning experience for SD. THEN the teacher puts a post-it note on this letter addressed to DH stating that letter and questionnaire was sent to the ex and that they would like his input and to fill it out and return it ASAP.  Can I tell you just how pissed off this makes me??? Now that things seem to be going down the crapper with this child NOW they decide "hey...we might want to include her Father in this!"  Freakin morons.  Don't get me wrong...DH will fill out the questionnaire and return it but he'll also be enclosing a letter of his own letting the teacher know just how he feels about the situation...i.e. he expects more cooperation from her in the future in providing him with copies of EVERYTHING that gets sent to the ex's house. ARRGGGHHH..these people drive me nuts!! LOL

On a side note...DH's ex and I had to sit together last Saturday while SD was cheerleading at a Youth Basketball game at the YMCA. (I was taking SD Christmas shopping for a present for her Daddy and little sister).  During the course of our conversation she let me know that SD was now involved with a group at school that is for children whose parents are going through a divorce. (Ex and SF have separated and SD is taking it pretty hard that her Mommy and "Daddy" aren't together. That's a whole other rant!).  The school counselor is also going to be seeing SD one-on-one in addition to seeing her as part of the group.  Ex has also scheduled an appointment with a therapist through the hospital where she works. I told her that I hoped that she had also provided contact information for me and DH in case anyone wanted to talk to us or get us involved since SD probably has issues regarding her and DH as well as her and SF.  She said "Oh yeah! Sure!" But I could tell the thought never entered her mind. So, I'm wondering if the form DH just received is a result of that conversation or if it's because of the FERPA letter in SDs school file.  Things that make you go hmmmmm.  LOL

Snipes sues NYC over DNA order
Actor involved in paternity suit filed in Indiana
Tuesday, December 21, 2004 Posted: 10:06 AM EST (1506 GMT)

NEW YORK (AP) -- Action film star Wesley Snipes sued the city Monday, charging that it had no jurisdiction to seek his DNA in a paternity suit filed in Indiana by a woman he said was crack-addicted and mentally ill.

The federal suit seeks to nullify a March arrest warrant filed against the 42-year-old star of the "Blade" trilogy by a New York family court judge, who also is named in the suit, and to prevent Indiana prosecutors from continuing to seek the actor's DNA.

Snipes' lawyer, Robert Bernhoft, said his client lives in Orlando, Florida, so New York City had no jurisdiction to file the warrant.

An attorney for New York, Emily Sweet, said the suit was being evaluated and she could not comment further. A hearing was scheduled for Wednesday.

The arrest warrant stems from a paternity suit filed in 2002 by a 33-year-old woman who claims that she had sex with Snipes in a Chicago crackhouse and that he fathered her 3-year-old son.

Snipes said in his suit that he never met the woman and claimed she was a "mentally ill former crack addict" who had made wild claims in the past involving celebrities such as Prince, Oprah Winfrey and former President Clinton.

Bernhoft accused LaPorte County, Indiana, prosecutors, who also are named in the suit, of pursuing the "fantastical" claims of an "obviously delusional" woman because his client was "an important black male celebrity."

Snipes has appeared in blockbuster films such as "Passenger 57," "White Men Can't Jump" and "Wildcats." His latest, "Blade: Trinity," was one of the weekend's biggest hits and has taken in $35.6 million in two weeks.