Messages

I am so sorry you have to go thru all of that...it must totally break your heart. Good luck with the court (what are you going back for contempt, modification etc??) and please let me know what the outcome is.

Thanks for the heads up on my issue...

"I don't have any bios, but I would not like to hear SM yelling at my kids and then be hung up on."

That statement made me think...

I wonder how much my children's SM would flip out totally if her son's SM did that to her??? She would have the Dad in court so quick his head would spin...but yet it's okay for her to do that to me.

I have a strong belief that I live my life by...what goes around comes around.

I have just sat back and watched life and people...you see someone do something rotten to you or someone...you don't do anything hateful back...just sit and watch...cause down the road...they end up paying for their hatefulness and you don't have anything to do with it at all. You cannot run around being hateful without life knocking you for it...might not be right away but it will come.

I personally think it is God's doing...not life...but I know alot of people do not have the same beliefs I do...so I say life.

I can totally understand you being upset. I would not go against SM's rules in their home. I might not always like them but I still make sure I tell the children to follow them (and I never tell the children I don't like the rules). When I heard her yelling and carrying on in the background, I told my child...well guess it's time to go now...

Sorry your BM isn't more understanding about making it work with two households. It's ones like that...that give good ones a bad name.

>First, is this the firt time this has happened?

First time she has hung up on me but not the first time I have had issues talking with the children.

>How is the relationship between you and them?

(them being my children?) We have a great relationship...we stay in touch with each other and talk about what is going on in our lives every night. Sometimes short calls, sometimes longer ones if either of us had busy days.

>Is it possible that she was just having a really bad day?

Could be...but did I cause it from 550 miles away...NO! So what gives her the right to be hateful to me.

>Maybe the baby was fussing all day.

Could be...but am I to blame for that...she told my child off the phone and so we started saying goodbyes...we didn't force the issue

>Maybe something else was going on there you don't have any idea about yet.

Well an adult would have explained and not been so rude. I have the right to talk to my children. I haven't broken one of their rules they set down for their house. I respect their rules for the children and I make sure I tell the children to follow the rules and be good.

>Maybe the kids were on the phone all day and not listening to her and you ex wasn't being helpful.

They never use the phone except to talk to me...they are not at the phone all day stage yet (I know all about that stage as I have other children who are like that). If they were not listening to her the ex would have made sure they told me first thing when they got on the phone. He makes them tell me when they act up...either that or she or he gets on with me first and tells me one of them had to get on the boys about such and such. That way the children hear the same message from both households. And if the ex isn't being helpful that is between him and her...it's their relationship not mine.

Thank you for your insight though...not trying to knock everything you said down...as we all know it is hard to get the whole picture from just words on a screen.

here is an update...

Talked to ex last night while his GF was out. I told him my hubby and I talked about what happened and we would like to send the children a cell phone which could only call or get calls from our cell phones. He didn't have a problem with that. He said if GF did he would tell her at least her phone wasn't tied up anymore. I am going to explain to my children that it is not to leave the house and to keep it away from where the younger ones can get it.

When I got on the phone with one of my boys he told me Dad and XXX said from now on to call from 7:00pm to 7:30pm. I told him I would talk to ex after about it all.

Ex said his GF doesn't like her routine messed with and she started her monthly so she was in a bad mood the other night. He said she wanted to make 7pm to 7:30pm my time to talk with them part of the routine and that would give me enough time with 15 mins for each child.

He said I upset her when I said she wasn't their SM (said to him not to her???) yet...and she was mad at me about that. Well...heck can ya blame me...she doesn't go to the school meetings, ex had to take time off of work (instead of her doing it in the afternoon) to bring them to the doctor after I fussed at him about them not going when they needed too, and he tells me one minute if he gets a good paycheck he's gone and the next minute he is telling me everything is just great. Yes she cooks for them and gets them to school most of the time. So until they have that piece of paper...she is his GF...once they are married no matter what she does or doesn't do for them she will still be their SM.

He did confirm what I thought...she did hang up the phone on us talking. No matter what anyone says or what she is going through...THAT WAS WRONG. I might be able to swallow it better if dad or even GF said sorry it was wrong but dad is acting like it was no big deal. I guess she flipped out yelling and screaming about me and everything after she hung up on me and dad said him and the boys went to bed and didn't fight with her. I can only imagine what names I was called in front of my children. She needs to chill out before she chases my boys away from there and their dad. They love him and I very much and anyone saying mean things about either one of us will turn them away.

If she is under that much stress...she needs to go talk to someone about it. Heck...I had to when I was having a hard time being away from the children when it first happened. There is no shame in seeking out help and I am not trying to get her upset. Most of the time I try not to even talk to my ex cause I know she doesn't like it. He choose to be with her so he can deal with her fussing...I will not put up with someone limiting my access to my children. The first time dad or her mess with the cell phone or tell them they cannot talk to me on it (at a normal hour and if nothing is going on that they are supposed to be doing) I will flip.

Guess only time will tell how this is going to play it's self out...wish me luck

See I could understand if Dad had an issue cause of that but I know he doesn't...they had a cell phone before that he had gotten them.

We are a tech family...we spend alot of time together but we all use our tech items alot. I am going to school for computers and networking computers, so it has just been passed down to the children.

The reason I am getting them a cell phone is cause there are issues getting them on the house phone, using the house phone, and having some peace while talking on the phone. If these issues were not in place I would not be even doing this cell phone bit.

Plus they cannot call me without long distance at the house and for whatever reason they don't have any...so this way if they want to talk to me, their step-dad or their brothers they can call.

I wouldn't ever call after 9pm even on their own cell phone cause their Dad's GF does not allow calls after 9pm and it's their house so their rules apply. Plus, I would still call them at the normal time their dad and I agreed too...I wouldn't want to interupt their lives there...I just want to be able to talk with them.

I am hoping BF will not have issue with this. My worries about it is the phone will get "lost" or the baby or other child will get hold of it and then what???

It is encouraging to hear it has worked out for you...and can I get you as our SM LOL

I was talking to my child last night on the phone and all h*ll broke loose.

I tried calling at 7:30pm which is my time to call them (agreed upon by dad and myself...court order state daily access via phone/internet). So the phone was busy until 7:45pm. No problem as long as I get to talk to them.

Talked to my first child and helped him with some homework about his nationality (he only had his dad's information down and I offered him my information because he is half me too). It bugged me that dad wouldn't have told him to get my information...but that's the little issues and I am not going to worry about that. I just kept a cheery voice with my child and said that's a cool homework and it sounds like you have dad's information all down so I will help you get mine down too. I was on the phone with him about 10 mins (looking up information on the internet and just talking about our days.

Got on the phone with my other child about 7:55pm. We start talking about our days and his homework (they are in the same classes...the older one had stayed back one year). Dad and his GF's baby was being kinda fussy in the background but I am used to that by now (We don't get a peaceful phone call since they have been there. My son was telling me about how he has started see this counselor at school. I was asking if it was for his reading issues or what...cause this was the first I had heard of it (and yes I have joint legal but to my ex that means nothing). Mind you the baby was fussing the whole time in the background...so I hear the GF yell in the background the phone has been tied up long enough. My child stops in the middle of what he was saying and said I got to go. Then I hear someone get spanked (I think the baby) and I hear the GF yelling I can't take this anymore. So I start saying good bye to my child so he doesn't get into trouble (we say bye love you and talk to you tomorrow every time we talk). We got to the bye and the phone was hung up...

I sat there with my mouth hanging open...not sure what happened. Not sure if child hung it up cause he was yelled at to get off of it like that...if dad hung it up cause GF was upset about it...or if GF hung it up on my child. I call back and ask tell the ex "What happened? We were disconnected while we were saying our good byes" and he said just leave it at that (that it was disconnected)...I sat there not saying a word and then I said "I do not like this at all XXX" (XXX being his name) he didn't say anything...I said goodbye and he said bye and hung up. I didn't get to finish talking with my son or anything...I didn't hear anything in the background. I am so freaked out right now. I know she hung up while we were talking. It was 8:05pm I had only been on the phone with my two children for 20 mins which part of that was me helping with homework.

My hubby and I talked last night about getting them a cell phone to add to our plan. We get unlimited free mobile to mobile minutes and we will be able to lock the phone so it can only get/make calls from/to our two cell phones here. We have a national plan so it wouldn't be roaming. That way we wouldn't be tying up her house phone and we would be paying for it so she would have nothing to say about it. And all the issues I have had about getting a hold of them would be gone. They would have long distance (there is none now) to call me with and I could call them without have people hang up on us or tell us to wrap it up cause the phone has been tied up enough.

I just cannot believe she would do that...I am so p*ssed off it's not even funny. I have been so supportive of their relationship...always telling my children to make sure they behave for her...sending the other two children little presents when I send my children things.