Messages

I have called the police numerous times. they are aware they are making, using, and selling meth. in that house, but they cant charge in. I call them several times for welfare checks and they are being watched by the police. it is a matter of catching them with everything in one room and in the open. we have hired a private investigator to be there for the next exchange since they make excellent witnesses and will record everything to ensure criminal charges are brought.

I met with the other childs father tonight and we compared journals that we have each kept for approximately three years. our journals coincide with each other as far as when utilities were not on and arrests in the presence of the children. the BM called the other father and requested he pick up his child when there was no water, heat, lights, etc. but refused to let me take my child ever outside of my visitation schedule.
and at times denied my visits.
 the BM is definately in contempt for failure to give address change, refusal of visits, and no phone number. we obtained some police reports were the officer noted that the BM was called to get her children and informed of illegal narcotics found in the home in plain view (while the boyfriend was watching the children). after these incidents the BM got a night shift job and left the children in the care of the boyfriend at night.

 1. how often do they really put BM in jail on contempt?

 2. can i get her for leaving the child in the care of this man after being advised of the illegal activities going on?

 3. how can a child psychologist examine the situation when the child is 5 and has been living in this situation for at least three years. the child doesnt realize it is not normal or that she is in danger because raw sewage is exposed (ex. hepatits A)?

 4. will the fact that she knew the situation was bad enough to remove one child but left the other one in it help us? how can you choose which child deserves to suffer?

 5. if she gets a reduced rate on an attorney because she is on welfare how reduced is the rate? I am looking at 10,000.00 would she have to pay at least half of that amount?

 6. if her boyfriend attacks me on my next visit like I have been advised he is going to do. What would that do for my case? would it just be another contempt?

some attorneys have told us that they will use the fact that there are 3 children with three fathers against her. for example the third child was the product of a very short affair with a married man. an argument we have heard is a good mother would not have been having an affair witha married man and conceived a child from it. especially when you have been on welfare for ten years and obviously arent capable of supporting the first two children.
 anyway it goes she is going to have a lot of explaining to do. it will be harder to argue against two of the fathers when they both have journals of events that have taken place and they didnt even know each other. we know she usually does not have necessary utilities on (heat, gas, water,etc.) but how do i prove it.
 I have decided CPS is not going to step in and help us. she usually moves before they can track her down or she tells them she is having the utilities turned on tomorrow and they close the case without checking into it. the other father did not start making reports until recently so it has looked like I am the bitter vendictive ex all this time.
 when I called for the house being nasty and unfit they left her a message and took two weeks to go to her house. her phone was also registered to a sex offender and I reported that I had seen him at their house (got his picture from the internet). she said she wasnt aware he was a sex offender and disconected the phone so CPS closed the case.
I went to pick up my child on one occassion and she was at a park without adult supervision. the BM admitted it to CPS but they closed the case and told her not to do it again. now they are living in a house that has been condemed and raw sewage is exposed. cant use bath/shower or toilet. she told CPS plumber was coming that day and they closed the case. they have been told by the landlord to move out but have refused to move. they have moved 11 times in less than two years but when itis important for childrens health they refuse to move.

1. what does it take to get CPS to get involved in this?

2. can all of my reports to CPS be used against me since they keep closing the case?

3. how do I prove she has had the children living without utilities on?

4. will it be a tall hurdle for her to fight two custody battles at once?

5. if you go to court to seek change in primary domicile rights and the judge does not grant it will he modify visitation?

6. if I dont get custody on temporary orders should I then just seek to modify visitation or continue the fight for custody?

the other father is the oldest childs father and he is the current live in boyfriend. she divorced him before because of abuse and things got so bad they were living in a motel room. he is not going to go for custody because he is a deadbeat dad and they are together again.
 he has several convictions on his record from drug possession, larceny, driving with suspended license, etc. he is going to court 11/15/2005 for two counts of criminal nonsupport. he was sentenced to 4 years and his attorney got him a 60 day suspension. he was to pay 5,000.00 and get a legitimate job by next court date. he hasnt done it. he will probably be incarcerated when we go to court.
he has also attempted to deny my visitations and I have been told next weekend when I go to get my daughter he is planning on attacking me. his exact words to people were "that is my last chance to get him before I go to jail. I dont have anything to loose I am going down for four years anyway". we have retained a private investigator to be there for the visit so we will see what happens.
he is not going to go after her he is the root of alot of the problems. he has been arrested several times while caring for my daughter and was home when the drug raid occurred.

1. can we use him against her since she had prior knowledge of his criminal acts and choose to allow him to move in with her?

2. if he is in jail will that give her a way out by blamming it all on him and saying he isnt around the children anymore?

My daughter is 5 years old. I was never married to the BM but we have had court orders since she was 9 months old. I have never missed a child support payment and always carried insurance. the BM has 3 kids with 3 dads. in December of 2003 things started to go bad. their house was raided and illegal items found, they have moved 11 times in 18 months, the BM spent my daughters birthday in jail for truancy warrants, the live in boyfriend has been arrested several times in the presence of my daughter, every babysitter she has had has been arrested while caring for my child, CPS took her kids but gave them back because her drug test was negative, when CPS contacted her the last time she took her 2 year old to his dad and said he had to stay with him because CPS is investigating them, she has never had all of her utilities on (no water or heat etc.), there are a lot of things.
 My daughter has missed or been late 8 days this school year (she has only been in school two months because BM didnt enroll them when school started). I have documentation of all of this. I met her third childs father by luck recently and we compared notes. he had information I was not aware of and we are meeting with an attorney together soon.
 he has no court orders for his son but has had him the past year most of the time.  we live in texas (BM, child, and myself) and it is not easy to get custody from what I am told. I have kept a journal since my daughter turned three (that is when our court orders became very specific and easier to follow. I want to get custody but I dont want to loose and wipe out all of the evidence I have (since everytime you go to court you start over from that day forward).
  the BM voluntarily handed over the youngest to his father everytime they didnt have heat or water or CPS came knocking but she absolutely will not let my daughter live with me. It makes me suspicous of why and how can a mother decide that one of her children shouldnt live that way but her other child should. I am also the only father that pays child support so I dont know if that is why.
  I am disgusted with the whole situation and I need some support from people that have been through this. I just dont know how much is enough to get custody. we have never been to court since our original orders when my child was 9 months old and that was mutual so we just showed up and signed the papers.

  my questions are
1. how much evidence do you need to persuade a judge?

2. will it help for two fathers to testify on each others behalf or just look vendictive?

3. will it be harder because all three children do have different dads and will be separated?

4. what type of evidence does it take to modify primary domicile rights?

5. the BM has been on welfare for ten years will she get a court appointed attorney for a civil matter or will she have to pay for an attorney also?

6. if she is honest with her attorney would an attorney tell her to temporarily sign the children over and get her life together?

My DH tried that pick up and drop off between this time and this time because he worked so much it was hard on him. It worked all of three months. Then it was back to he said she said. That doesnt work!!! You will burden yourself. It seems it may work better for everyone to meet halfway for each visit at a set time. I would also ask for geographical restrictions to ensure these children keep contact with each other. You have missed a lot of information. Dont get so caught up in the now that you forget about the later. The goal is to stay out of court!!! Think it through. Think about the flaws that could later come up. Split the holidays even between BM and BF. Set a specific time and location and make sure these two children still have time with each other. You cant gaurantee you will have both children eventually.

If you have the child regularly then you can take child for the screenings he needs. If you get him for the summer visit then set it up then. Another way to get medical records free of charge is to set him up with a doctor in your area when you have him. Have that doctor fax a request for records. It is a good idea regardless to get child established with a doctor in your area because if he gets sick or hurt when you have him you wont have to go through the mess of finding one or using ER.

I went through this with ex husband for first three years after divorce. I remarried less than a year after divorce and DH was furious and bitter. I learned after the first false report how to protect myself. Here are some suggestions for anyone going through this. Take the child to their doctor right before any extended visits (summer, christmas, etc.). Then if a report is made at that time you will have a doctors checkup that would show any injuries to the child if there were any. My ex always filled the false reports during these extended visits. I guess it gave him more time to try and sway the child. Then it started on a regular basis. Some reports were to the police and some were to CPS. I started my son in counseling. They are generally seen once per week so I scheduled it on Fridays right before his visits. I then had another medical professionals report to back me up against his allegations. I also got a two way recorder on my phone to record his calls. I never called him yet the police show up at my work one day ready to arrest me because he reported I was harrassing him by phone. I was able to prove I had no access to a phone for the past two hours and they left. I then changed my days and hours so he had no idea when I worked. Eventually he was arrested and plead guilty to telephone harrassment and terroristic threats. CPS also eventually found him to be leaving the child in abusive situations and testified in court on my behalf. I havent had a problem with him since then.

Due to the childs age it would be hard to get any court to consider it kidnapping. The child is old enough to say the CP told her to leave. If you cant get anything in writting then on the day the child comes to live with you send a certified letter to BM stating that child reported she was told to leave and on this date child is now residing with you. Have child also write letter briefly describing events that took place. Send copies of these letters certified mail with return receipt to CP and take a copy to courthouse to put in file.

Call the court you are to appear in and ask how to get an extension due to time from receipt of papers to court date. I am not familiar with canadian law. Explain to the courts that English is not your first language and you need things translated. I am not sure why this would be heard by the supreme court unless there was some kind of dispute. I am assuming by what you posted that there is a motion for change of custody and geographical restrictions but what is the third party reports release? Try looking on line for some advocacy groups to help you.