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Messages - marnbuk

#21
My husband has been through a lot of this same thing. You can read his previous post. He eventually did get custody. Do you believe the BM is using drugs? You can request hair follicle drug testing. Remember anything you request goes both ways. I dont know why being on disability would cause concern it isnt any worse than being on welfare and they give custody to welfare recipients all the time. Does the BM have an attorney? There are things you can do if DCFS is not doing their job properly but if you are already in court proceedings you need to discuss this with your attorney first. You can also request a homestudy and evaluations but it can get very expensive. I am not sure about why they would give her custody without prejudice. Without prejudice means it can be tried again. Is your attorney taking DCFS with you to court? If the child is in school/daycare it is in your best interest to make yourself known and ensure you are listed as a contact. Also dont make excuses for the BM such as she suffers from PTSD. If you are making excuses for her then you have already fought half her battle. Remember things you post here could be used in court if BM saw it and can prove you are the one that wrote it. Keep on top of it. BM will either give up or straighten up. If she is on drugs it is a matter of time before it all catches up to her.
#22
You can get almost anything ordered for the best interest of your son. It sounds like both you and the BM have a lot of baggage. If the BM gets an attorney she can have your records suppoenad if they pertain to the child. Anything before the childs birth isnt really relative to the situation. Are there any reports from DHS/CPS? Have you ever called them for abuse or neglect? It sounds like it would be in both of your best interest to mediate this. A judge could get mad if you both have baggage and remove the child from both of you. I am not sure about the mediator report in Texas a mediator does not give a report they try to get the parents to agree on things. You may be talking about an evaluator?
#23
Custody Issues / RE: Anyone go through this??
Dec 18, 2005, 07:43:39 AM
I also have a special needs child and the BF has taken me to court several times. The last time he tried to use that against me but it didnt work in his favor. Make sure your attorney is very knowledgable about the healthcare issues. When my attorney was through with BF last time in court he looked like a deadbeat that didnt really care about his childs development and the judge slapped him with an extra 175.00 per month in medical support. When he decided to make this an issue he had not paid medical support or carried insurance since the last time we were in court (very dumb to make healthcare an issue when you arent doing your part to ensure your child can get adequate care). The BF is a nurse and so am I but he thought he could use it to his advantage. No judge is going to send a child to an institution when a parent is able and willing to keep that child. It would almost be impossible for the BM to have exclusive right to medical decisions when you are the primary domicile parent. That would mean everytime the child got sick you would have to track the BM down for permission to treat the child (not in the childs best interest). If BM is only after control offer her the right to make non emergency medical decisions while the child is in her care. That may make her happy for now.
#24
Custody Issues / RE: missising son
Dec 18, 2005, 07:26:58 AM
I am not sure exactly what is going on. What state do you live in? Why are you taking parenting classes? Was there some sort of incident that you were ordered to take them? If the courts were able to reach her by phone then how can you not find her? Do you have visitation? I dont know what motion was before the courts when they dismissed the case? Was it that you were unable to locate her or a motion to modify or contempt on visitation? You need to give the whole story briefly before anyone can help you.
#25
Custody Issues / RE: Another Father Wins Custody
Dec 03, 2005, 06:39:53 AM
BF of 6 year old girl won custody with supervised visits for BM. It has taken two years to get enough proof but I finally did it. 2 years ago this month CPS took BM children but gave them back and refused to go against her in court. Since then she has moved 12 times and my daughter had missed 11 days of school this year when I filed for custody and been tardy 8 days. My wife is a nurse and was adimate that the BM and boyfriend were on drugs. I called CPS numerous times (a joke) and they kept saying they didnt find anything. The final straw was the last home they were living in had no running water (I got the records from the utility company), raw sewage exposed sitting under house, a 1foot by 1 foot hole in the bathroom floor, and no plumbing worked (you can imagine where they were using the restroom). I found out the house had been condemed for 3 months and they were told to move but didnt. I again called CPS and they again said they found nothing. My wife told me step by step what to do. I filled a complaint with the main office of CPS, the attorney general, and the governor of Texas. Two days before my court date I was notified CPS did find abuse and neglect and BM and boyfriend failed drug screens. Then it was a matter of negotiating with CPS because they left the children in those conditions for 4 months after my first report. So I basically and politely said I sue CPS (and I have all the documents from CPS and the governor to prove they were neglectful in the investigation) or you go to court with me and help assure my daughter is out of that environment. They chose to go to court.
 CPS went to court and BM didnt think I knew anything that went on. She gave up 5 minutes before going before the judge. She also had not retained an attorney. Either way it was going to go in my favor. Her youngest childs BF also received custody of him last week. She really got off easy because had we gone before the judge they would have taken rights away she didnt know she had.
 I dont recommend pushing CPS like that unless you are positive you are right. They can come after you if it is proven to be malicious. If it werent for my wife knowing the state system and what to look for in junkies I would have never known what to do. Anyway BM has to jump through many hoops to get unsupervised visits and to get rid of CPS. These are temporary orders but I dont think any judge would take the chance to put the children back in that environment.
#26
He can also request geographical restrictions in most states to keep the child close to him
#27
Custody Issues / RE: please help i'm desparate
Dec 02, 2005, 06:42:47 AM
I dont know what state you live in. If there are no current court orders then it is simple. You pick your children up for some reason. Dont take them back. If there are no court orders neither of you has more rights than the other. Dont let her have the children back under any circumstances. In most states after 6 months you have established their primary residence. Then you can file for custody. You can use a private attorney or the state agency (in Texas it is the attorney general). Check the laws in your state. When you get the children immediately go in for a free consultation with a family law attorney and find out what to do next.
#28
Custody Issues / Another Father Wins Custody
Dec 02, 2005, 06:33:05 AM
 BF wins custody. It was a long hard road but I did it. Dont give up!!!!
#29
there is some reason they gave custody to an aunt instead of you. If it was simply because of the service then that is not a good reason. you have to go back to the courts to modify your orders. If the aunt is reasonable and you get along you may be able to do this yourself. If not hire an attorney. The children may be old enough to submit a letter to the judge with their request. check California law.
#30
I am going through the same thing. CPS is a joke. My child doesnt have running water and raw sewage is draining in subfloor but that is okay with CPS. I filed for custody and my daughter also has missed to much school. Just because the school hasnt filed truancy doesnt mean a judge follows the same rules. My ex also cleaned her life up as soon as she got served but I am hoping it is too loittle too late. I live in Texas but neglect is neglect no matter where you live.