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I have 50/50 of my 9-year old daughter.

I do not really have a case yet, as nothing has happened. However, I have issues I wish to discuss with an attorney that need to be addressed in preparation for any future troubles. I have located a decent family law attorney who only represents men and he has a good rep.

1. Would it be appropriate for me to ask if the attorney would bill be at his hourly rate for reading my documents and discussing them with me? I do not feel I should be required to pay a huge retainer, as there is no case or legal action to be taken yet.

Do attorneys sometimes do the hourly rate/counseling thing or do they consider any interaction a "case" and always ask for a retainer?

I have 50/50. I picked my daughter up tonight to begin my week. I caught her going into my papers and getting her passport and hiding it in her suitcase. When I asked her what was up, she said her mother told her to get the passport becuase her mother was afraid I was going to kidnap daughter and take her to Europe.

Should I ignore this or is this indicative of a bigger problem?

Hello.

1. Could you please tell me where I might locate the following document?: In Re Barnes, 264 B.R. 415 (Bkrtcy Mich 2001)

2.What do the letters "264" and "415" refer to?

3. What does "In Re" mean?

4. When one is trying to discredit case law, is the best approach to try and demonstrate the case law is not comparable to the present case (the facts and circumstances are not the same and to try and locae newer case law that contradicts the case law being presented?

5. Is newer usually better in case law as long as the circumstances/facts are similar?

Thank you.

Have you discussed the recent LaMusga decision in CA with your attorney and its impact on your case? See:

http://www.accama.org/information.php


 

             
For many years, my son, (28) from another marriage would regularly visit my daughter at Christmas and the summer. He did this from the time daughter was born. The last time he visited was in July of 2002. In approximately early January of 2003, my ex-wife informed me that a counselor from a women's shelter had made a call to CPS concerning an alleged incident between my son and daughter.
I have tried to recreate the event that started this situation and have received bits and pieces from my daughter. EX enrolled herself and daughter immediately in the same women's shelter referred to above after EX filed for divorce in Sept. 2001.  
The FOC evaluator recommended 50/50 custody and I have been doing that since Oct 03.
Daughter did not attend individual therapy at the shelter on a regular basis, but was part of a group. This went on for 2 years. Apparently there was an exercise (Jan 2003) wherein the children were first asked to draw pictures of anyone who hurt them, identify that person, and then put some kind of sticker on that person. The way the exercise was conducted that every child was required to name someone that hurt them and the next child was not called upon until the previous child had named someone. My daughter named my son. Later, in talking with my daughter about the incident, she stated that my son did not hurt her and they were just playing and does not seem at all disturbed by the incident.
I never saw the report. My ex claimed that daughter stated that son had "tied her up." The women's shelter called CPS. CPS called the cops. The cops came to my house in Feb. 2003. They did not investigate because my son did not live in Michigan, but in Arizona.
My son was advised by an attorney not to talk to daughter or myself back in Jan 2003. My son is a junior high school teacher in AZ. My daughter is 9 years old now.
Well, it's August 2004 now and my son and daughter have been talking on the phone regularly.  

I HAVE RECEIVED ADVICE  FROM SOC AND LAWMOE THAT I SHOULD NOT HAVE MY SON AND DAUGHTER TALK ON THE PHONE. AFTER 2 YEARS, THEY ARE FINALLY COMMUNICATING AGAIN. I TRUST THE ADVICE AND MUST NOT HAVE SON AND DAUGHTER COMMUNICATE.

WHAT SHOULD I TELL MY DAUGHTER?!

For many years, my son, (28) from another marriage would regularly visit my daughter at Christmas and the summer. He did this from the time daughter was born. The last time he visited was in July of 2002. In approximately early January of 2003, my ex-wife informed me that a counselor from a women's shelter had made a call to CPS concerning an alleged incident between my son and daughter.


   I have tried to recreate the event that started this situation and have received bits and pieces from my daughter.  EX enrolled herself and daughter immediately in the same women's shelter referred to above after EX filed for divorce in Sept. 2001. Two therapists from the shelter wrote FOC evaluator who investigated our custody case stating that daughter and her mother "exhibited most of the signs and symptoms of persons exiting abusive relationships."

The FOC evaluator recommended 50/50 custody and I have been doing that since Oct 03.
Daughter did not attend individual therapy at the shelter on a regular basis, but was part of a group. This went on for 2 years. Apparently there was an exercise  (Jan 2003) wherein the children were first asked to draw pictures of anyone who hurt them, identify that person, and then put some kind of sticker on that person. The way the exercise was conducted that every child was required to name someone that hurt them and the next child was not called upon until the previous child had named someone.


My daughter named my son. Later, in talking with my daughter about the incident, she stated that my son did not hurt her and they were just playing and does not seem at all disturbed by the incident.
I never saw the report. My ex claimed that Jennifer stated that Wiley had "tied her up."  The women's shelter called CPS. CPS called the cops. The cops came to my house in Feb. 2003. They did not investigate because my son did not live in Michigan, but in Arizona.


My son was advised by an attorney not to talk to daughter or myself back in Jan 2003. My son is a junior high school teacher in AZ. My daughter is 9 years old now. Well, it's August 2004 now and my son and daughter have been talking on the phone regularly. I want to take my daughter to Universal studios in October and have my son meet us there. I am worried that my EX can screw things up. She has a real motivation to do so: since I have 50/50, her child support will be cut in half Jan 06. (from 1000 to 500.00 a month) her 3-year alimony (860.00 a month) will end. She has no income but these two sources. It is in her best financial interest to defeat the 50/50 so she can get full child support.

1) What can I do to protect myself from her potential allegations?
2) Is the CPS thing that happened in Jan 03 relevant now?
3) Am I doing something that can be used against me in court my having daughter talk to or visit son?
   

I want to find out more about Pierce Brosnan. He is mentioned in Sacks' article:

http://www.mensnewsdaily.com/archive/s/sacks/2004/sacks052604.htm
 
Also see this film reference Brosnan produced and starred in:

http://www.canadiancrc.com/Evelyn_The_Book.htm

Sacks says Brosnan has spoken in support of father's/children's rights. Brosnan made a film about a father and a custody battle. (Evelyn) Brosnan started in a pro-dad satirical major film about custody: Mrs. Doubtfire.  

Anyone know anything else about him in these regards?

I currently have 50/50 of my 8-year-old daughter. Everything has been going fairly smoothly, although there have been a few rough spots with ex.

When I first met ex, she was severely overweight and I showed her how to loose weight through exercise and a diet that consisted of eating sensibly by eliminating excess fat and counting calories. She gained weight after our daughter was born, and then became fanatical about loosing it. She lost it, got in good shape and had an affair, which ended our marriage.

Mother's latest craze is carbo-counting ala Atkins.  She has indoctrinated daughter into it to the point where my daughter comes to my place and won't eat pears, potatoes, green beans, fruit, etc and tries to throw out that type of food.

What's worse, EX is accusing me of making our daughter gain weight. The daughter is about 4 pounds overweight, tops. Mother has been sending low carb stuff over to my place with daughter and insisting she eat it. About a month ago, mother insisted daughter not eat lunches at school anymore, but take sack lunches and do the low carb thing. Mother insisted on peanut butter sandwiches, so I agreed.  This went on for a month and that's when daughter put on the pounds. I also found that mother lets daughter eat as much PB as she wants, because of low carbs. Daughter gets 800 calories a day from PB and eats another 1200 in other stuff as far as I can see. If she wants to loose weight, she needs to eat about 1300-1500 calories a day..weight loss of 1-2 lbs a week will result.

Mother blew up at me last PM in front of daughter, said I was making daughter fat. I tried to explain to mother that you must eat less calories than your body requires, that's how you loose weight. Mother stated all you have to count is carbs, not calories. (Low carbohydrate diets are low in calories...hence the weight loss).

I have read much about Atkins, much of it negative owing to the fact that entire food groups are cut and that's not nutritionally wise.

I'm worried PBFH will try to use this against me in court some day. What should I do?

...and you will see one of the reasons we are getting our buts kicked. Hundreds of Thousands of NOW (and related groups) members are protesting against abortion. I am not here to argue about abortion, but to make the point that these protestors are organized, articulate AND ARE WILLING TO MAKE A FEW PERSONAL SCARIFICES (like going to DC) to make their point known. The whole world is watching them and they are getting millions of dollars of free airtime. The best a children's rights leader can do is go on O'Reilly and get beat-up. WHAT YOU CAN DO:

Attend the Million Dads March on Father's Day:
http://www.milliondadsmarch.org/
You can stay in the DC KOA in an air-conditioned cabin that sleeps 4 for 50.00 a night.
I went last year.

Join this group:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/usafathers/
There are many men's groups, but this one is doing an extremely good job of networking with all the groups and pulling them together.

The laws are unjust. Unless we become politically active and make our presence known...we will continue to get stomped on. Do it for you kids...you want them to go through this kind of hell, too?

Please.

After I saw Kill Bill II, I felt very strange. It was then that I realized that I was watching an insane feminist fantasy. If you doubt this, see:

http://news.scotsman.com/latest.cfm?id=2007617

Genre films  tend to absorb and transmit the mores and social climate of the times.

Now..Bill:

Amoral vicious killer (Thurman) falls in love with evil vicious killer (Bill).
They do their thing: kill people. They are together. They are the same.
Suddenly....she changes her mind. Runs away, finds another man.
Bill loves her. Gets jealous. Goes crazy.

The entire change is Thurman's character is based on the fact that she is going to become a mom and in her emotional-driven destructive arrogance she assumes that she is better than Bill to raise the kid and that being around Bill will be bad for the kid. Never once does she consider that she is of the same moral fabric as Bill: a vicious trained killer. Because she is the mom: she is right and her environment is the best.

Because she changes her mind, we are supposed to ignore the fact that she is a killer and is essentially the same as Bill.

Subconsciously Tarantino has the paradigm: This is essentially a mirroring of no-fault divorce and the societal attitude towards women in general. Kiddo (Thurman) is not to blame for anything she's done. She's "found herself." Also, she is to assume no responsibility for her actions.  HER MORAL CHOICES CREATED HER SITUATION.

There is not one positive white male character in the film.

Poop.

http://www.whas11.com/sharedcontent/APStories/stories/D820O9282.html

Let's not forget that Kerry is married to Teresa Heinz
who was responsible for giving, through her family
foundation, $250,000 to Geraldine Jensen of ACES.

This was a reward for doing great things for society
like increasing child support.

All the time Ms. Jensen was denying her own children
access to their own father and his family.

I would not even consider Kerry as a father or family
friendly candidate for the office of President. Elect
him and we will all be in the toilet and hear the
swirling flushing sound that was created by his
democratic predecessor Clinton that is responsible for
signing into law the current federal statutes on Child
Support.

I definitely recommend not supporting the United Way.  Their record of misandry is
disgusting.

http://mensnewsdaily.com/archive/yz/z-misc/zeiger/2004/zeiger040904.htm

Two months ago, I took my daughter to the dentist. The dentist reffered me to an orthodontist. My daughter is almost nine. I took her to the orthodontist today. The orthodontist stated she needed braces because she is sucking her thumb. Orthodontist stated that if she cannot stop sucking her thumb in three weeks, that he will install some kind of device to make her stop sucking her thumb and then proceed with braces.  Daughter has been with mother for past two years and I was the weekend parent, although I have taken daughter to dentist, doctor, exclusively. Mother did nothing about daughter's thumb sucking. I now have 50/50 and joint legal. I informed mother of this tonight. She says the dentist who referred daughter to orthodontist is getting a kickback and that orthodontist is forcing braces on daughter to make money and that she does not need braces until she is 12. (With no professional or factual basis). Mother says she is going to call the orthodontist. I am worried she will intimidate the guy and daughter will be neglected.

What experience have you guys had with orthodontists? Is nine too young?

My ex is a psycho. Everything I try to do to help daughter she's against. This is the same woman who wants to keep daughter back a year in third grade even though daughter has a 3.0 grade average!

Is there legal recourse if ex keeps this up?

HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1. My ex filed for divorce in 9-01. She snatched daughter and moved 65 miles away.
2. She enrolled daughter in an inferior school district with lousy state scores: Daughter was scheduled to start first grade in a Montessori school. That of course did not happen.
3. During the FOC evaluation, I stressed the fact that daughter would do better in school district where I lived or in the Montessori school: this fell on deaf ears.
4. I have had 50/50 custody of my daughter since Oct 03. I moved 65 milles to where daughter lives and commute 130 mi RT each day to work. I have tried and tried to help her, but two years of this lousy school system have screwed her up along with two years of mother never helping her with her schoolwork, etc.
5. I went to parent-teacher conferences tonight.
6. My daughter is about 30% below grade level.
7. I found out through the teacher (mother attended a separate conference earlier) that mother wishes to hold daughter back a grade. Daughter is in third grade. Mother claims daughter has been struggling since first grade. (After telling FOC evaluator that the schools daughter was in were "good" schools.) Mind you, daughter can pass third grade: it is the mother's desire to hold her back, not mandadted by the teacher.
8. I knew this was going to happen.
9. Mother has no idea of how a child is educated or how they learn
10.  I have several degrees in education, have taught for 30 years, and can't believe the crazy generalization the mother makes when discussing daughter's school.
11. My plan is to enroll daughter in a Kumon or Sylan center starting now and see where she is at at end of summer. I think mother will go along with this.
12. I am concerned with the psychological effect on my daughter if she finds out in August that she has flunked third grade.
13.What are your thoughts?
Have any of you had kids that were held back? How'd they turn out?

1. My ex and I have had 50/50 custody of our 8 year old daughter since 9-03.
2. Before that I had daughter 3 weekends a month, etc.
3. Daughter has been attending local schools for 3 years.
4. Mother opened a cafeteria account for daughter beginning of school year.
5. I emailed the head of the cafeteria, asking for a password to view daughter's account online. I need to be able to see it, so I can deposit $$$ when it gets low.
6. I emailed cafeteria director, explaining my situation.
7. She emailed me a release form and stated she would send me a password.
8. I faxed the form.
9. It has been 2 months and 8 email requests from me:nothing from her.
10. She is stonewalling me.
11. What should I do?

A few weeks ago, I posted that a new novel, The Ganlet, tells the truth about the domestic court system, a rariety in fiction work. (there is no such other work!)
I would hope some of you read it. Here is the thematic core of the book:

   Gantlet, A Love Story, first, tells the painful tale of the beautiful love of Jason Adams for a woman who that is doomed to die young.
   Secondly, Gantlet, takes the reader inside the Byzantine world of a 10-year long child custody case in the domestic law system in The United States.
This is a nightmare world, a Tower of Babel,  where the future of children is decided by:
 attorneys (including a judge who is an attorney with a robe on) have no training in domestic law
 attorneys have no training in developmental psychology or clinical psychology and do not have knowledge of how children mature
 where :"expert witness" psychologists have no training in domestic law and do not have knowledge of the law
attorneys and judges do first-year law school  "motion practice" to run their clocks and bleed clients of millions of dollars and do not care and are not accountable for the consequences of their behaviors and legal decisions
 where childrens' relationships with their parents are alienated into pieces of time and money as if love and affection and trust and  laughter and hugs were pierces of property
 where motion practice is used to move children from one parent to the other based solely on allegations
where people are rarely punished for lying, and perjury hangs from the courtroom  walls like so many vampire bats.   

A Gantlet is an ordeal of punishment where a person is struck over the back. shoulders, and head as the person runs between two rows of men wielding clubs. In the domestic law systems these ancient wooden bats have been transformed into paper bully clubs of motions, petitions, briefs, appeals, settlement conferences, interrogatories -- ad infinitum. A place where the judge — like a rural appointed king in a medieval fiefdom—is essentially all-powerful and immune from prosecution because the lawyer-judge is protected by the other lawyers who made the rules for him and themselves and created a cushy, corrupt world run by  the "The Bar Association."
   Should you marry the wrong person (as do 50% of us) and have children with the wrong person and decide to divorce and fight for custody, where do you go for healing and to chart out a health-giving post divorce world? To the bar association.
In our free market economy, Chrysler competes for our business with General Motors which competes with Honda which competes with Ford, and so on.  Different major hotel/motel chains compete for our business. Musical groups competes with one another for our business. Different cosmetic companies produce lines of products, competing for our business; and so on.
The bar association competes with what other entity for our business?
Who is the bar associations' major competition that forces the bar association  to improve the qualify of its services?
      The answer is: the bar association competes with itself.
      Huh?
      "Competing with itself" is a contradiction in terms.
      A corporate entity cannot complete with itself.
      The bar association is therefore unconstitutional monopoly.
      It is a multi-billion dollar scandal far worse than Enron.
      

   Gantlet, A Love Story, reveals the depths of destruction and depravity in the domestic law system in this country. It is not male vs. female "mens' rights vs. feminism" philosophic tract or a political argument.
It is a love story that will hopefully form the basis of a major societal revolution to alter the way we choose our mates, raise our child and – should our marriages fail, give them a decent burial and remain in the lives of our children and grandchildren in a world based not on adversarial proceedings, manipulations, and greed, but on positive outcomes of all divorce proceedings.
This world would be one in which remuneration is outcome based: the kids are functional, healthy, can work, love, and laugh.
Then, and only then, do you – attorney or psychologist -- get paid.
 
      

Advocates of murder speak out:

http://www.ajc.com/news/content/news/ap/ap_story.html/National/AP.V7289.AP-Disabled-Son-De.html

And yet another death:

http://www.sltrib.com/2004/Mar/03132004/utah/147350.asp

If you know of anyone in Michigan who would sign a petition for the presumption of joint physical custody to be placed on the Nov. Ballot, call or email them immediately and advise them of the following instructions. The deadline is May 15th.

The following site contains the DADS of Michigan joint custody petition and related documents: it will unzip as a folder. Read the materials, print the petition as directed, and get some signatures, including your own. Registered voters, only. If you or your friends are not registered, get registered and sign the petition. This is a real chance to do something about this crap.

https://www.quickbase.com/up/9gsk8isf/g/rbi/ej/va/ChildrenNeedBothParentsPetiton13Mar04.zip

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=519&e=3&u=/ap/mother_charged

DADS of Michigan will be gathering signatures starting March 12 to place a measure on the Ballot in Nov. calling for the presumption of joint physical custody in Michigan. they need 250,000 signatures. Please help them.

Last year I attended the million dads march in DC. I listened to Dr. Baskerville, Dean Tong and many others. Unfortunately,  the attendance was paltry. We have a civil rights problem. The only way to solve that is through group action. The march takes place in front of the capitol, where many of the b******s who passed the laws that cripple us are employed. This is an election year. The lawmakers need to know we are out here. See you there.

http://www.milliondadsmarch.org/

I previous made a post concerning a novel that details a father's struggle against the family court system. While there have been many non-fiction books in this area, there have been no movies, plays, novels, etc. concerning this. According to Amazon's stats, only 1 more book remainins in stock. This is good news. To see book and reviews:


http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1413701426/qid=1078587174//ref=sr_8_xs_ap_i1_xgl14/103-7951009-4698202?v=glance

I wish they applied the same rules of evidence and legal procedures to Family Court as they do in criminal court:

http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20040303/ap_on_re_us/body_buried

A recent Capitol One ad depicts a women pushing her husband into what appears to be a pool or a body of water near a pier. She says, "What! All these years and you've never got a Capitol One Card?" then she shoves him into the brink. Apparently, she is upset because she cannot take advantage of free perks or whatever that the card offers.
Twenty years ago, I probably would have laughed. Today I become angry. Below I clipped the first two questions from a DV shelter website, questions routinely asked women to determine whether or not they are in abusive relationships.

1- Does your partner put you down and call you names?
2- Have you ever been slapped? Hit? Choked? Pushed? Bitten? Burned?

You can be sure if that was a female being pushed into the water, that DV groups would be descending upon Capitol One.
There is of course, the obvious DV double standard, but there is something else here: she is justified in pushing him because she belives she is not providing adequately for her material needs.

Whew!

As a college professor I can tell you there are absolute no novels, plays, or films that address a father's plight in the divorce/custody quagmire from an understanding viewpoint. KRAMER vs. KRAMER was the first and last that even approached the subject.

A professor in Michigan has written a novel entitled The Gantlet that effectively details the horrors of the legal system and the custody/divorce industry.

I URGE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU TO VISIT AMAZON.COM AND ORDER THIS BOOK. The least we can do as a group is to support those who manage to find a way to portray our plight in the media. God knows the news won't help us. HOPEFULLY THIS BOOK WILL GET MADE INTO A FILM! The book is The Gantlet and the author is Leigh Travis. Here is a sample review:
"As a psychologist specializing in this area of practice, I have made a good living helping people deal constructively with divorce-but, in all candor, they seem to represent a decided minority. Travis' novel is consistent with my own observations, i.e., that in the epidemic of "Out of the Picture" Dads, there may be more than meets the eye.
This story of a determined father's tortuous struggle to remain in his child's life after divorce is as compelling as it is relevant to our times. In a culture where fathers are widely viewed as superfluous at best, there are precious few examples in literature, film or music of a much different reality, of fathers as devoted parents who bring profound and inimitable gifts to their children's lives. Travis' novel places such a father at the center of a father-child love story, which--after divorce--goes very, very bad indeed. It chronicles a father's Kafkaesque journey through a corrupt legal system that sentences both father and child to a gantlet of unrelenting obstacles-and unrelenting reasons to give up on one another-every step of the way.
Though fundamentally about love, this is a painful story that reminds us that character is sometimes, under insane circumstances, as much a curse as a virtue, and that while love should always prevail, this might not always be the case. It seems unfair to both writer and reader to reveal the ending, but let it suffice to say that the reading is a memorable experience. It is enough to make grown men (as well as women) cry.
And think.
What more can one ask of a novel? "
If you're looking for a novel that challenges you as a human being: Strongly Recommended.
If you know the pain all too well: Essential Reading.