I do apologize for interupting, but would the the intention listed anywhere?? I have looked through my state code and such and have not really found this and this is an issue in our case as well. The other lawyer is trying to take us for a ride here and as we are pro se we need information to back us up or everything slides by. Thanks!
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#12
Dear Socrateaser / RE: Question on medical care
May 06, 2006, 08:43:09 AM
Excellent. I thank you so much as I thought that the term visit limited decision makeing as in although it makes the person a part of decisions does not have "primary hold" to take action if that makes any sense. I thank you so much because now I at least know that she can be taken on Wed during that visit if nothing else (yes, I am assuming she will not be better as this has been the case numerous times in the past).
Again, thank you, thank you, thank you!
Again, thank you, thank you, thank you!
#13
Dear Socrateaser / RE: Question on medical care
May 06, 2006, 07:26:00 AM
>>My questions-
>>
>>1)
>I'm not a physician. If you believe that the child has a
>bacterial/viral infection then allergy meds may not be
>appropriate, but it's up to the physician to determine this.
I understand this, but I guess I am looking for a legal view...primary docs office would not return my phone call last night so the situation is unclear. I am guessing we need to call for clarification just in case.
>>2)
>It seems highly unlikely that your order states that weekends
>are custodial exercise and weekdays are visits. Even so, that
>would make your orders sufficiently ambiguous for you to avoid
>a contempt because you reasonably believe that you have joint
>legal custody and the joint right to make medical decisions.
>
>Also, if the child is ill, and you reasonably believe that the
>other parent is not acting in the child's interests, then you
>must seek medical care. You are not wilfully disregarding the
>court orders -- you are being forced to act by circumstances
>beyond your control. Nevertheless, I would try to discuss the
>issue with the other parent and try to come to a consensus
>about what's going on. It's hard to believe that the other
>parent is not interested in getting the kid healthy again.
Although seemingly unlikely, in my initial quotes is the exact temp order that was put in place by the custody master and that is what it states. Knowing that we can take her to the doc anyway truely helps. I thank you!
>>3)
>Try to communicate your concerns and get a consensus.
Primary parent feels that the child is "fine" and has "documentation" to "prove" this. (you may recall a question that I posted in the past of a physical stating that everything was "normal" the same day that the allergy medication was perscribed and only 3 days before she had teeth pulled do to decay ect.) We have been back and forth on it and I am truely wondering where the magic line is that makes her not fine between our 2 homes.
Primary parent has not taken the child back to the doc since Children and Youth worker came to the priliminary hearing to say that this is not a case that they would get involved in. Previous to the short and pointless investigation by Children and Youth, primary parent had not had the child to the doc in over 7 month dispite her being sick numerous times as documented by the Emergicenter physicians.
>>4)
>See above.
While I do understand what you are saying, the situation is so frustrating because it seems that there is nothing that can be done to protect the child's health until the courts take action or give us another date. Once again, I thank you for your time in this matter.
>>
>>1)
>I'm not a physician. If you believe that the child has a
>bacterial/viral infection then allergy meds may not be
>appropriate, but it's up to the physician to determine this.
I understand this, but I guess I am looking for a legal view...primary docs office would not return my phone call last night so the situation is unclear. I am guessing we need to call for clarification just in case.
>>2)
>It seems highly unlikely that your order states that weekends
>are custodial exercise and weekdays are visits. Even so, that
>would make your orders sufficiently ambiguous for you to avoid
>a contempt because you reasonably believe that you have joint
>legal custody and the joint right to make medical decisions.
>
>Also, if the child is ill, and you reasonably believe that the
>other parent is not acting in the child's interests, then you
>must seek medical care. You are not wilfully disregarding the
>court orders -- you are being forced to act by circumstances
>beyond your control. Nevertheless, I would try to discuss the
>issue with the other parent and try to come to a consensus
>about what's going on. It's hard to believe that the other
>parent is not interested in getting the kid healthy again.
Although seemingly unlikely, in my initial quotes is the exact temp order that was put in place by the custody master and that is what it states. Knowing that we can take her to the doc anyway truely helps. I thank you!
>>3)
>Try to communicate your concerns and get a consensus.
Primary parent feels that the child is "fine" and has "documentation" to "prove" this. (you may recall a question that I posted in the past of a physical stating that everything was "normal" the same day that the allergy medication was perscribed and only 3 days before she had teeth pulled do to decay ect.) We have been back and forth on it and I am truely wondering where the magic line is that makes her not fine between our 2 homes.
Primary parent has not taken the child back to the doc since Children and Youth worker came to the priliminary hearing to say that this is not a case that they would get involved in. Previous to the short and pointless investigation by Children and Youth, primary parent had not had the child to the doc in over 7 month dispite her being sick numerous times as documented by the Emergicenter physicians.
>>4)
>See above.
While I do understand what you are saying, the situation is so frustrating because it seems that there is nothing that can be done to protect the child's health until the courts take action or give us another date. Once again, I thank you for your time in this matter.
#14
Dear Socrateaser / Question on medical care
May 06, 2006, 05:56:22 AM
All parties are in PA. I am pro se.
The temp order states:
In the inteim and pending receipt of the home evaluations, the parties agree to maintain the status quo regarding legal and physical custody as follows: Legal custody of the child shall be shared by her parents above captioned.
XXXXXX shall have primary phyiscal custody of the child.
XXXXXX shall have partial custody every other weekend from Friday at 6 pm until Sunday at 6 pm, and each Wednesday for a dinner visit from approximately 4 pm until 7:15 pm, and any additional time by afreement of the parties.
Now onto the situation. The child is sick and has been off and on for quite some time. Primary parent has ignored the illnesses stating that child has "seasonal allergies." Primary physician ordered nasal spray for the allergies.
Friday, April 7th, child was picked up for a weekend visit and medication was not exchanged for the weekend. We called to find out why. Parent said that the doctor wanted it held for a week. Child said that was not true and doctor just gave her more that morning. Doc office was called and situation was explained. We were told that the child was right and they called in an order for the medication which was promptly picked up.
Primary parent told us that there must be some confusion, this is not what the doc said. Told us to keep the medication at our house for future visits since they already had some at primary household. We called back to doc office several times to request doc findings and orders in writing and have yet to be provided with them. They keep saying that they will call back after they contact primary custodial parent.
No future doc visits were reported by primary parent or by ins company.
Wednesday May 3rd, child is picked up for dinner visit and she has green snot again and is coughing. As it is my understanding the this is a visit and not an excercise of shared custody we report findings to primary parent.
Friday, May 5th, child is picked up for shared custody time. Primary parent says that child's allergy medication was started again that day because "she felt she needed it." She was not taken to the doc. We immediately took her to the emergicenter that is on our way home.
Child is sick again, which we knew, and they don't want her on an antibiotic because they have perscribed her one 5 times this year already (yes, taken there only by parent with parital custody because we live an hour away from primary physician and they don't have doc hours when I have parenting time). They want to see her back in 5 days if there is no improvement.
My questions-
1) If what the doc office said or what the primary custodial parent said were to be believed as truth, would the script for the allergy medication still be valid, and therefore she should be given it daily? I am wondering because if it is valid, I would like to get a doc order halting it as this is an infection issue not an allergy issue).
2) If primary custodial parent does not step up to the plate and take her back to the doc if there is no improvement, can this be done on a dinner visit? I guess if I am asking if my understanding is correct that this time can not be used to take her to the doc.
3) What should my next step be here, if any, beyond waiting it out (we have the evaluation in a week and a half but don't know exactly what to expect after that) and hoping for the best??
4) What can we expect after the evaluation...I am assuming that we have to wait until the next court hearing for a change in the order...but we don't have a date for this as of yet and I am sure you can see some sense of urgency here as her health is suffering due to the current situation.
I do appreciate your time and consideration in this matter.
The temp order states:
In the inteim and pending receipt of the home evaluations, the parties agree to maintain the status quo regarding legal and physical custody as follows: Legal custody of the child shall be shared by her parents above captioned.
XXXXXX shall have primary phyiscal custody of the child.
XXXXXX shall have partial custody every other weekend from Friday at 6 pm until Sunday at 6 pm, and each Wednesday for a dinner visit from approximately 4 pm until 7:15 pm, and any additional time by afreement of the parties.
Now onto the situation. The child is sick and has been off and on for quite some time. Primary parent has ignored the illnesses stating that child has "seasonal allergies." Primary physician ordered nasal spray for the allergies.
Friday, April 7th, child was picked up for a weekend visit and medication was not exchanged for the weekend. We called to find out why. Parent said that the doctor wanted it held for a week. Child said that was not true and doctor just gave her more that morning. Doc office was called and situation was explained. We were told that the child was right and they called in an order for the medication which was promptly picked up.
Primary parent told us that there must be some confusion, this is not what the doc said. Told us to keep the medication at our house for future visits since they already had some at primary household. We called back to doc office several times to request doc findings and orders in writing and have yet to be provided with them. They keep saying that they will call back after they contact primary custodial parent.
No future doc visits were reported by primary parent or by ins company.
Wednesday May 3rd, child is picked up for dinner visit and she has green snot again and is coughing. As it is my understanding the this is a visit and not an excercise of shared custody we report findings to primary parent.
Friday, May 5th, child is picked up for shared custody time. Primary parent says that child's allergy medication was started again that day because "she felt she needed it." She was not taken to the doc. We immediately took her to the emergicenter that is on our way home.
Child is sick again, which we knew, and they don't want her on an antibiotic because they have perscribed her one 5 times this year already (yes, taken there only by parent with parital custody because we live an hour away from primary physician and they don't have doc hours when I have parenting time). They want to see her back in 5 days if there is no improvement.
My questions-
1) If what the doc office said or what the primary custodial parent said were to be believed as truth, would the script for the allergy medication still be valid, and therefore she should be given it daily? I am wondering because if it is valid, I would like to get a doc order halting it as this is an infection issue not an allergy issue).
2) If primary custodial parent does not step up to the plate and take her back to the doc if there is no improvement, can this be done on a dinner visit? I guess if I am asking if my understanding is correct that this time can not be used to take her to the doc.
3) What should my next step be here, if any, beyond waiting it out (we have the evaluation in a week and a half but don't know exactly what to expect after that) and hoping for the best??
4) What can we expect after the evaluation...I am assuming that we have to wait until the next court hearing for a change in the order...but we don't have a date for this as of yet and I am sure you can see some sense of urgency here as her health is suffering due to the current situation.
I do appreciate your time and consideration in this matter.
#15
Dear Socrateaser / RE: ALL PARTICIPANTS PLEASE READ THIS AND COMMENT...
Apr 27, 2006, 09:44:11 AM
Just wanted to pop in here and agree with the others. This is the first board I read DAILY. Why? Well, because I never know when his honest information will come in handy in the future. It may not pertain to our case at this time, but it may. I find the truthful and non-emotional answers to everyone's questions to be enlightening...because it gives you a 3rd person's point of view (which is basically how the courts are looking at your case). They don't need all of the emotion there. It is assumed that you love your child or you wouldn't be going through the hassle and headache of fighting for him! The MOST improtant lessons that I have learned from Socrateasers's board is to take emotion out as much as possible because it clouds the facts, every custody case sucks (because if it didn't everychild would have the benifit of both stable parents full time), beable to prove every word you say, and it needs to be taken care of as a business deal...it has served us very well thus far and not only simply on court days!
#16
Dear Socrateaser / RE: Medical records access,,,
Mar 29, 2006, 08:30:49 AM
I thank you for your prompt response...the physician is refusing to provide a copy of physical assessments done by his office. We were provided a copy by the other parent, but feel that there is a chance that they may have been altered. We feel this because it doesn't list the medication that was perscribed that day or any of the ongoing medical issues that we have had documented by numerous docters and dentists over the past year as being persistant and continuous. As a matter of fact, physical was done of Fri and supposidly everything was normal including mouth, ear, nose, and throat...allergy medication was perscribed for nose and throat...and then same parent took her to the dentist on Monday to have a tooth pulled at the root due to decay and 2 others filled (as situation that we have documented by an ear, nose, and throat as primary to the persistant tonsil and sinus/nasel issues).
1) Sorry this is lengthy, but my next question would be, if that is what the doc wrote, would we have any recourse against the doc since I would think it would be malpractice... or the other parent for not persuing her childs best interests as she obviously allowed and sactioned (as the co-pay was made at the time of the visit and provided the information to us and the school/daycare) false legal document?
I hope that is a clear question...I was trying to be as concise as possible for you...
We really do appreciate your imput here...
1) Sorry this is lengthy, but my next question would be, if that is what the doc wrote, would we have any recourse against the doc since I would think it would be malpractice... or the other parent for not persuing her childs best interests as she obviously allowed and sactioned (as the co-pay was made at the time of the visit and provided the information to us and the school/daycare) false legal document?
I hope that is a clear question...I was trying to be as concise as possible for you...
We really do appreciate your imput here...
#17
Dear Socrateaser / Medical records access,,,
Mar 29, 2006, 07:22:29 AM
First let me say hi there...and thanks for being here for us...
We live in PA, we do not have a written order as of yet (court on the 7th of April) that defines who has legal or physical custody. We are trying mother and father are still married and as they where at the time of the child's birth. There is nothing barring access to records of anykind although their was a temp PFA which was dismissed at the time of the hearing for it.
1) We know that the father SHOULD be able to access medical records for the child under state and federal law...but what laws would govern this?
2) We know that a school has 45 days to comply with a request for records under FERPA, would it be the same for a medical provider? I only ask this because FERPA is often mentioned when this subject comes up...but FERPA is for educational not medical purposes so this confuses us)
3) Would a medical provider have the right to refuse to provide a part of the record that they "understood" we were provided by the other parent?
Thank you for your time in this matter...
We live in PA, we do not have a written order as of yet (court on the 7th of April) that defines who has legal or physical custody. We are trying mother and father are still married and as they where at the time of the child's birth. There is nothing barring access to records of anykind although their was a temp PFA which was dismissed at the time of the hearing for it.
1) We know that the father SHOULD be able to access medical records for the child under state and federal law...but what laws would govern this?
2) We know that a school has 45 days to comply with a request for records under FERPA, would it be the same for a medical provider? I only ask this because FERPA is often mentioned when this subject comes up...but FERPA is for educational not medical purposes so this confuses us)
3) Would a medical provider have the right to refuse to provide a part of the record that they "understood" we were provided by the other parent?
Thank you for your time in this matter...
#18
Parenting Issues / RE: Is she too Young??
Jun 12, 2006, 09:22:10 AM
Yeah, I think she is too young...but it is likely that she doesn't understand what she is saying and it is very innocent...and hey, at least she wants to be married first right! Ok, maybe that is not the good side of things at the age of 8. Kids are matureing very early these days and sex is being thown in their face all over the place. I would have a talk with her about sex. What it is, what it means, and why she should have other things on her brain at this age.
Whether to talk to her mother about it or not I would say would depend on your relationship with her. I think she needs to be made aware so that she knows that your innocent baby is having more mature thoughts and needs to be dealt with accordingly such as not being within eye shot while playing with a boy...friendships monitored a bit ect. I am not saying that this should not have been the case before but it is never a bad idea to be more aware.
Good luck!
Whether to talk to her mother about it or not I would say would depend on your relationship with her. I think she needs to be made aware so that she knows that your innocent baby is having more mature thoughts and needs to be dealt with accordingly such as not being within eye shot while playing with a boy...friendships monitored a bit ect. I am not saying that this should not have been the case before but it is never a bad idea to be more aware.
Good luck!
#19
Parenting Issues / RE: What steps should we take?
May 15, 2006, 08:11:47 AM
It also should be noted that lice usually don't thrive on oily and dirty hair. It makes them slick and they can't "hold on" or latch on as well. Just a note so that you don't think that this is a sign of an unclean child.
#20
General Issues / RE: How do you pay your part of medical bills?
Apr 14, 2008, 04:40:57 AM
> I have been sending him copies of the bills for
>months and no help from him. By the time I get the money from
>him I will be able to spend it on what ever I want because the
>bill will be paid off. Why can't he just give me what he is
>court ordered to give me!!! Why do I have to jump through
>hoops for him to do what he is court ordered to do.
>
Why waste your time and energy to do all that? Seriously? Give him a copy, send a copy certified giving him 30 days to respond (or however long you are comfortable with), and if you hear nothing submit it to your local child support enforcement . Domestic relations will tack it onto what he owes if all paperwork is in order. The way you are doing it now only frustrates you and lets him play you. Don't wait for him to be responsible or give him control of your emotions (anger/frustration) ...taking action once or twice will most likely change his tune and he will understand that it is a responsibility of his that you are not taking lightly.
To the OP, I would pay the provider directly if you are concerned with her actually paying the bill and provide the ex with proof of payment...also, of course, keep a copy for yourself in case it comes up again in the future. Yes, if she is responsible for the bill, it is her credit but it is also your children's future medical care (most practitioners won't see a patient again unless the account is kept current, IF the child has to go back again and you are slammed with a bigger bill due now, you can prove why.). ALSO, there is a likelyhood that if left unaccounted for, eventually it could effect your child's credit which is so wrong but a reality.
>months and no help from him. By the time I get the money from
>him I will be able to spend it on what ever I want because the
>bill will be paid off. Why can't he just give me what he is
>court ordered to give me!!! Why do I have to jump through
>hoops for him to do what he is court ordered to do.
>
Why waste your time and energy to do all that? Seriously? Give him a copy, send a copy certified giving him 30 days to respond (or however long you are comfortable with), and if you hear nothing submit it to your local child support enforcement . Domestic relations will tack it onto what he owes if all paperwork is in order. The way you are doing it now only frustrates you and lets him play you. Don't wait for him to be responsible or give him control of your emotions (anger/frustration) ...taking action once or twice will most likely change his tune and he will understand that it is a responsibility of his that you are not taking lightly.
To the OP, I would pay the provider directly if you are concerned with her actually paying the bill and provide the ex with proof of payment...also, of course, keep a copy for yourself in case it comes up again in the future. Yes, if she is responsible for the bill, it is her credit but it is also your children's future medical care (most practitioners won't see a patient again unless the account is kept current, IF the child has to go back again and you are slammed with a bigger bill due now, you can prove why.). ALSO, there is a likelyhood that if left unaccounted for, eventually it could effect your child's credit which is so wrong but a reality.