Messages

Don't know what state you are from but most court clercks will guide you to the right forms to be filled out. It costs money to actually file the forms but you may be able to get that waived. I'd go to your local court house, explain the situation and ask for some direction. You may also be able to get a free consultation with an attorney. You are going to need a witness or some proof to the drug use because if you don't it's just your word against hers. And finally....if your going to go to court for anything, make sure your own hands are clean before you start pointing out her dirty hands. Good luck.
Maid marion

Sorry it took so long to reply. My X attempted to kidnapp our child and go to Florida. We had a relocation trial and the judge said that he couldn't relocate with her but he left the court house, packed a rental truck and headed out anyways. He was apprehended in Jacksonville Florida and my daughter had to stay in a safe house for almost 2 days until I could fly down and get her. Needless to say, he is very much uncooperative and would like nothing better than to be anal about everything. If given an inch, he'll take a mile as they say. Anyways that's how the supervised visits came to be. The person doing the visits says that if given the chance to take her again....he would. He is still facing a criminal charge of felony child snatching but it won't go to trial until sometime in June. Thanks for your input.
Maid Marion

Thanks for the info Jen. I have sole legal custody. As far as in the best interest.....my ex attempted to snatch our child and go to Florida. They were pulled over in Jacksonville Florida and our child had to stay in a safe house until I could fly down there and get her. He is facing felony child snatching charges. He is a real abrassive person who lives to fight with anyone about anything and I just figured that the less he is involved with her schooling and medical and religious the less I and anyone else would have to feel his wrath. I just want to do what's right for our child but unfortunately my ex just wants to satisfy his own adgenda and could care less what's best for our child. Thanks again for your info.

Maid Marion

I have sole custody of my child. My ex has supervised visits for 2 hours a week. Was wondering what, if any, issues I have to consult with my ex on regarding our child. Also, is my ex entitled to access to our childs medical/school regards? I live in R.I. Any web sites that might help me.

Thanks. I'm looking into it. Will let you know what I find out.
Maid Marion

Not offended at all. I should have put it a different way. I ment that if the kids do ask what's going on then depending on their age he can tell them that what he is doing is just trying to make sure that he will still be in their lives. If they don't ask then definately don't offer and even if they do ask, somethings, I agree are better left unsaid.
As far as getting along with mom. I indeed know how strenous that can be. My Ex had placement of our child because he was the stay home dad. We had joint custody but he didn't care. He pushed me around for 2 years. I jumped through so many hoops because of him it is ridiculous. However, when he did things that were destructive to my relationship with our child then I took him to court. And I won almost 99% everytime because the court could see how unreasonable he was being and making really bad choices for our child. Eventually he completely disregarded the judges ruling on a relocation trial and he left anyways. He is now facing Child snatching charges and I have sole custody of our child.
Believe me, I definately can understand the NCP's side. Male or female.
You sound like a wise person. Your advise is good. Thanks for sharing.
Maid Marion

The last poster is right. File in your state.
Also, How old are your kids? Make sure they know that your filing to make mom at least come back to tenn. and deal with the issue. Depending on their age ask them who they want to live with and if they say mom then unless she's not a good parent then don't fight them on it. If she wants out then let her get out but make sure you secure a relationship with your children. Be sure to get as much time with them as you can if they aren't living with you and I can't say it enough times...DOCUMENT ALL YOUR TIME WITH THEM!!! You may need to fall back on it in the future.
If you want to be near your children then you have to somehow get along with mom.
This is going to rock your world and their's also, so just keep looking at your children and as long as they are smiling back at you then your making good choices for them. Even if they end up living with mom. Keep us posted as to your developments.
Good Luck to You and Yours,
Maid Marion

If the drinking was an issue before and she can prove that then you'll probably have problems getting around it. Were you ever in trouble with the law because of it?
Personally I would just quit and then it won't be an issue. AA is an excellent place to get free help with stopping.
As far as what to do while you save for a lawyer.....can you handle a part time job? It might help you  to stop drinking all together seeing as you wouldn't have time for it, it might help you keep your mind off the situation and you could stash the $ away for court.
You definately have to choose between the drinking and your little one. Even if you don't have a problem with it sounds like she'll make a big deal out of it.
If you do have a problem with it and think that you can control it while you with your child then you really need to think again. If it's got you......it's got you, no matter who your with.
Good luck
Maid Marion