Messages

I agree with Deep. G-parents only have rights when awarded by the courts. If this hasn't happened, G-mom has NO RIGHT to keep the child. Personally I'd go down there today & collect the child.  What is mom going to do anyway? Contempt motion when she's not available to parent the child? Ha! Just her being arrested (AGAIN) & thrown in  jail (AGAIN) should be enough to prove that her lifestyle is having a substantial detrimental effect on the child so a temporary emergency custody order should be a slam dunk.
Let us know how it works out!
KAT

Oh PLEASE. Look inside of YOURSELF. It's clear to me that by posting on a mainly *father's rights* board you are once  AGAIN doing something to feed what consumes you. DRAMA!  POOR ME!!! I AM SUCH THE VICTIM HERE!! They are all wrong, horrible men! Boohoo What about the CHOICES YOU made? You need to fix yourself Lady. I recommend reading the book "Addicted to Unhappiness". Tips for overriding the deeply rooted need to cause ourselves unhappiness, which drives us to sabotage our own successes and keeps us from achieving our goals.
If I were your ex's lawyer during the custody battle I would have no problem bringing up the fact that you have already alienated two other children from their father. I would have no problem making you out to be nothing but a greedy uterus opportunist.  Given your past history I would ask the courts to give custody to the more agreeable, financially stable parent.
Bookmark this site. I have a feeling in a couple of years you just might need us.
KAT

I wish I had an answer for you. Keep on top of the investigation, do so in writting by certified mail. Mr. KAT's ex moved out of the home WITHOUT the children. She didn't even have to prove she had them. She obtained every single benefit as well. She also gave them an address that they hadn't lived at for 7 years (so obviously he's not getting summons or mail). Fast forward, he finds out when his pay check is garnished 50% for 29,000 in state arrears. Try raising 2 kids on that kind of income while she collects. They told him the only way it could be fixed was by court custody order. It took him a year to find her (they refused, lawyer got it, but it was wrong!!), another 6 months where she didn't show before a default was ordered and then several more months before CSE got off their lazy butts & removed the garnishment. It was also years after that & it was still listed on Mr.KAT's credit history. I turned her in, but as far as I know they didn't do much to her....go figure. Something is seriously wrong with the system.
I wish you the best of luck!
KAT

Yes, IMMEDIATELY send out a supenoa to the mother for the child. Since you haven't already done this, her lawyer did you a favor by giving you more time to do so. If she doesn't bring him ask that she be held in contempt & custody AND SUPPORT (MAKE SURE YOU INCLUDE SUPPORT, judge could possibly not rule on that aspect if it's not before him/her) immediately changed. Just because there is a supenoa, doesn't mean the child has to be questioned. If she does indeed move before court she lowers her chances of retaining custody greatly.
Let us know how it turns out!
KAT

I don't mean to be rude..Mr.KAT is going thru PAS himself. He hasn't seen his daughter in 5 years his son in over 2.
The one thing I will say here is that it's probably time you have an *adult* relationship with your daughter. Her letter suggests (at least to me) that these deep conversations have to do with the past...the past that simply can not be changed, you can't live it over. Would have, should have, could have, it's all a moot point.
Mom, she's 22 (and sounds like regardless of what happened she has a great head on her shoulders!), I have a 20 year old who lives in a different state. We don't talk daily or even weekly. Though we love each other to death. Right now he just can't be bothered with dear old Mom. He simply hasn't matured to that level yet, he's still figuring things out for himself. It's the same when I was that age with my mother. I'm sure that the frequency of communication will continue as she moves forward into adulthood. She'll need you for advice & wisdom. Right now she just wants to be a young adult learning by her own mistakes & forgetting as best she can about the past. She was a child, she certainly couldn't control things nor does she wish to relive it thru your eyes.
Maybe it would better if there was just a *girls* lunch or dinner a month in a public place. Eat, talk, leave...nothing heavy, just the two of you (and good food!) That way you would be leaving the lines of communication open without putting your daughter in a situation(s) that leaves her stressed out.
Best of luck!
KAT

Tenth kid huh? I bet this one just falls out into her pant leg.

KAT