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The judge did nothing but say that the cousin could not be around my child.  He did not even touch the issue of my daughter being left alone with her mother and the gmother telling her not to tell.  

He is sending us to a court ordered parental coordinator who will come up with the final order (another new program in Texas so be ware!).  We are giving up.  We have tried for numerous years to make this work and it is not.  We have tried to work with the other side, but even through all us this, my daughter still tells everyone she can that she wants to live with her mother and grandparents and hated us.  So we are giving her her wish. She can go live there and turn out like them.  I can not prevent it from happening.  She gets to choose in a couple of years to go live there anyways.  

I know you will think that I am crazy.....but I spoke with her therapist this morning and she said that we can not undue the damage that this child has had from the other side and the situation is only going to escalate based on the last years of patterning and the fact that the child does not want to change.  The daughter does not want to be with us and is going to do everything in her power to damage my family until she gets what she wants....to live there agian.  I can honestly say I have given it 100% my all to protect her, but have not done my all to protect my other children in my home that she is hurting through all her problems that she is bringing from there house and acting out on them.  

I want to thank eveyone for always helping me and I know that I am making someone mad out there because I have what they want...but I can no longer do it at the expense of my family.  I am losing others just for her and I have to make a decision.  I do believe I am making my decision based on that it is in her best interest to make her happy, but I do fear that she will be emotionally and physically scarred for life no matter if she lives with me or her other family.  I can not longer battle this war.

Aggiedad

Texas, Brazos County

AggieDad

Not yet, but our attorney is very positive that we will get one tomorrow and we need to be prepared because the judge will ask for a center in our area since he is unfamiliar with it.  

Aggiedad

I am looking for a place that can supervise the contact between my daughter and her mother/maternal GP's.  I have called everywhere under the sun.

CPS will only do it if they say the supervision needs to be done, regardless of a court order.  

Any suggestions on where I can look?  I have to have them for our attorney by Thursday.

Thanks,
AggieDad

THis helps/  My wife came up with something similar.  But I really like your wording.  WE talked with her about what happens when me make a mistake at school and someone get hurt or in trouble.  We explained it to her like that.

We are also letting her counselor at our children's center help.  My child has had to be told so many times this speech due to her mother's run in with the law, so I think she might be feeling that we are always telling her this.  THey are a great group of people.  

The war has officially began today.  BM and GP's are filing motions to enforce visitaion instead of going to the TRO hearing.  Not sure the reasoning behind this but we will see.

Aggiedad

No kidding!  We atleast found out their strategies and their evidence.  Their lawyer told the mediator everything and he in turn told us.  

I guess the lawyer was thinking that we had no real evidence and wanted to scare us with what they supposedly had.  When the mediator found out what we had, he about fell out of his seat.  And we did not even disclose the "real evidence".  Just what we wanted them to know we had so we could throw them off.  

I hope and pray it turns out ok.  The worst that can happen at this point, is that we will continue with the same arrangement we have now.  Not god for the child...... we will appeal everything until we get what we want!  Aggiedad

Let's just say, it did not go well.  DUH!  If we were able to agree on something I would not have to file a motion to modify.  

They did not even except to see the child supervised, they choose to basically not see her at all.  It is ridiculous. OH well, I guess I do not have to worry about seeing them for atleast a little while longer.

Aggiedad

See update at the bottom!  You helped out a lot.  It just takes so long to get things going sometimes.  I feel that I am doing the right thing and appreciate your help and concern!  Aggiedad

We have since filed a motion with the court for full cusody and supervised visitation for BM only with a TRO for all their family. The TRO is in place until we can get eveything worked out and they are allowed no contact with any one in my family (they started to harass my mom when they could no longer contact me so the judge extenended it to my family as well).  I have prayed very hard on this and kept all your advice in mind.

We have been ordered to mediation TOMORROW.  My attorney, wife and I agree, that we will not settle this time.  We are seeking full sole custody of my child, allowing BM one two hour visitation a week  at a supervision center of my choice at her expense and GM, GD, and their family are out of luck.

Now of course they are not going to  agree to this.  They said we have made the child say this by brain washing her and are trying to get full custody. But little do they know that the child has said over and over again to every adult that she has been interviewed by (DFPS, police, psychologist, teacher, counselor, principal, etc)  and talked to that all I have ever told her is to tell the truth no matter even if it hurts or someone else gets in trouble.  

I hope that eveything works out well.  With all the poeple we have on our side, I find it very hard to believe that something will not be done. but you never know.  

We have her in therapy at a local agency who also believes the abuse has occured.  My daughter is doing better in school now that she has told her secrets and we are working with her as a family to get everything better.  My wife and I are also getting help on how to help her.  She is missing her BM like crazy right now and is a little confused.  I am helping her to work through this the best that I can.  She got to get a new haircut last night (girly stuff) and she loved it.  So maybe we can provide her with stuff that will keep her mind busy until all the adults can get something worked out..

Thanks to eveyone for their great advice, support, and prayers.  They are greatly appreciated  I will post again after mediation tomorrow and let you know what happens.  Aggiedad  

I want to thank you for giving me such GREAT advice.  I had the same thoughts as you do in my mind, but I wanted to make sure that I was letting my head make the decision and not my emotions.  I have talked with my attorney and have expressed to her about your thoughts on mediation.  Because she is new to this town, she is going to talk with her Senior advisor (who is also our attonry who happens to be handeling a major CPS case right now and ectrmemly busy) about this decision.  I think that i am going to allow mom only supervised visitation at a Supervision center in the town where the child resides and take the maternal GP's out of the picture at this point.  Mom really has done nothing wrong at this point,  Grandma has broken the court order and abused her right as an adult to intimidate my child.  Would you agree with this decision?