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Well, it's been a LOOONNNGGG time since I came for advice.  Things are pretty good for us, all but one of the stepkids are 18+ and we don't have to deal with any ex's anymore.  However, our two oldest girls both live with and have a child with men who have a child from a previous relationship.  Who'da thunk?

I'm here about my dd's situation today.  Her bf has a 7yo with a former girlfriend.  Mom got married last Saturday to a man that she'd been dating about 6-9 months from what I understand.  Mom has been noticeably cooler to bf since bf and my dd got together and had their little boy, but not pbfh bad.  She's yanked his chain a couple times, but backed off fairly quickly in each situation. 

Ok, the 7 yo son has known bf since birth and knows that bf is his dad.  This weekend my dd & her bf had son for the weekend.  BF had gone outside before my dd got up this morning and she asked son where his dad was.  Son's response was "Who?  You mean Justin?"  My dd didn't know what to say or do.  I believe that she said yes, but didn't care for the idea that he was questioning who dad was.

My first thought was "and so it begins...."  I told her that I'd come and ask advice from people who'd been there done that.  In our similar situation, dh hadn't actually seen ss till he was 7 and ss had lived nearly his whole life with his mother's bf in the picture.  That isn't the case with dd and her bf though.

Any ideas on how she should handle it?  She doesn't want bf to know because he'll be crushed then get pissed off and he doesn't make the greatest decisions when he's po'd.

Thanks!

So what happened in court?  Do you know yet?

Do you pay cs directly to the mother or does it go through CSE?  In MN, any cs that is paid by the NCP goes to offset costs by the social service office.  If it's paid thru CSE, it gets redirected to the state/county and the mother never sees it - at least in MN.

part of the homeland security requires "proof" of a person's identity.  That would be SSN usually.  I assume that this means banks, credit card, and other financial entities that fall under this act must report the info to the government.  This means that any entity that has access to this info can find your banking information easily - I'd bet that CSE is an entity that can have access to that info.

Most states (if not all) states have laws in place for the employers that the employer MUST send in relevant information regarding new hires to the department of labor - most notably SSN, name and address.

So, yeah, in most cases, the state can find out with minimal effort if the employer is abiding by the laws.

However, I do NOT believe that the CSE office can disseminate employment information to the CP without the NCP's permission.  Could be wrong about that though.

Do you have any idea what the ex makes?  If so, go to the child support calculator online and plug the numbers in - for 32 hours and for 40.  Quite frankly, I don't see how they can go for 40 hours given the economy, but who knows, right?  I don't know the link, but I think spinner posted it a while back on this forum.  Otherwise I've googled it and found it - should've bookmarked it!

As for the insurance reimbursement, now is the time to go for it!

Wow.  I just keep shaking my head....

That's not quite accurate, under certain circumstances they can still attach certain pages, but the IRS has made it a much narrower population of divorce/custody/child support decrees that it applies to.

People need to read that section of the instructions very, very carefully.

Unfortunately Soc is no longer on SPARC so you aren't going to be able to get an answer from a lawyer here.

Actually, do the same day like ocean said.  I like that idea better.