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But it will be nice for me to be in a position that if he tries to lord the money over my head it doesn't phase me because I know we'll be ok.

Oh, and my email offer to do half the driving (each parent does their own pick up) and reimburse him for compensation lost/not earned by spending additional time with our son? He never accepted, though I know he received it.

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Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so shall you become. Your vision is the promise of what you shall one day be; your ideal is the prophecy of what you shall at last unveil.

     ~ James Allen

We called his cell phone, which is usually the best way to reach him. He called at a time that was before we'd be home. But you know what? That's ok with me...he left a message, Zachary heard it, so he knows his dad called. That's the whole thing, I've always emphasized even if he just leaves a message, it gives Zachary the message you were thinking about him...if the only minute in a day he can call is when we're not home, call and leave a message. And it may take some consistency in doing this before Zachary's attitude changes...but I told Zachary this weekend also (when he was saying how he always gets a tummy ache at dad's, doesn't like going, etc.) that he really needs to give his dad a chance.

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Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so shall you become. Your vision is the promise of what you shall one day be; your ideal is the prophecy of what you shall at last unveil.

     ~ James Allen

Dad never responded to my emails last week. Saturday he had his time with son and I let him know that son wanted to do a learn to skate (ice skate) program, and given that dad has played hockey, works in rinks, asked him if he could make any suggestions on where to get the equipment needed inexpensively. He said he'd do some calling around and called Sunday night to tell me because the season just started, finding used equipment was almost impossible and as such, best time would be spring...get what he needs for this year and next at that time. We didn't end up registering for the program Sunday night...between the cost of the program ($100) and equipment (probably about $100) this isn't a good time to do this (Christmas, son's birthday in January, and lack of current support being paid). Anyway, dad called last night and left a message for son! YES! He called! :) Son listened to message and I told him "let's call dad back and let him know you got his message." He said "no, I don't want to call." I told him it wasn't a choice...he was calling. He refused to leave a message for his dad (went to voice mail) but at least held the phone to his ear. *sigh* I called dad back and left a message that Zachary appreciated his call and that we were going to do the program next year.

I'm glad he called...I can only hope that he does it again and makes it a habit.

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Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so shall you become. Your vision is the promise of what you shall one day be; your ideal is the prophecy of what you shall at last unveil.

     ~ James Allen

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Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so shall you become. Your vision is the promise of what you shall one day be; your ideal is the prophecy of what you shall at last unveil.

     ~ James Allen

Well, I've probably fallen short on the birthday thing. I will remind Zachary and ask if he wants to buy/make a card for dad but the answer is usually no. Maybe it shouldn't be asked as much as "hey, it's dad's birthday, time to make a card." I don't know. It's hard for me to muster that up...I know Rob doesn't do that with him for me...then again, he doesn't see him enough to do that anyway.

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Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so shall you become. Your vision is the promise of what you shall one day be; your ideal is the prophecy of what you shall at last unveil.

     ~ James Allen

In his mind, because it would reduce his need to work and therefore, have more time for son. I don't think he'd use it anyway, which is why I offered him what I did. I will reimburse him for lost wages if he's current on support and actually takes time to be with son that he would normally be working. Not surprisingly, he hasn't accepted that offer because it puts the responsibility on him to follow through.

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Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so shall you become. Your vision is the promise of what you shall one day be; your ideal is the prophecy of what you shall at last unveil.

     ~ James Allen

That was my same thought...that if it was truly about improving the relationship, the phone call wouldn't be an issue, taking back the time he has given up wouldn't be an issue, whether son is happy or not during that time. I haven't gotten any reply or follow-up to my email offers. Guess I'll see him tomorrow at pick-up.

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Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so shall you become. Your vision is the promise of what you shall one day be; your ideal is the prophecy of what you shall at last unveil.

     ~ James Allen

It is your son's right to request a paternity test through the courts, and she will be ordered to bring the child in for testing if she doesn't voluntarily comply. I don't think she can "fix" this except or make it just "go away."

I'm sure she IS furious...she's been able to qualify for state aid and get additional CS money from your son without anyone really knowing it. Too bad...that's called abusing the system and it's illegal. Your son has a right to his child, to enforceable time with his child.

Has he paid CS with a check? Does he have canceled checks to show he's paid? He will also want to protect himself financially. When paternity is established, she may somehow try to go for back child support, claiming it hasn't been paid and that your son owes back money according to the courts (money that he has already paid). Make sure he can show he has already paid.

I wish your son the best. He and his daughter deserve to have a relationship without interference this way.

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Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so shall you become. Your vision is the promise of what you shall one day be; your ideal is the prophecy of what you shall at last unveil.

     ~ James Allen

From my favorite pup!

[img src=http://www.deltabravo.net/dc/pics/Halloween.jpg]

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Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so shall you become. Your vision is the promise of what you shall one day be; your ideal is the prophecy of what you shall at last unveil.

     ~ James Allen

I plan to keep doing what I've been doing. Thanks Kitty.

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Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so shall you become. Your vision is the promise of what you shall one day be; your ideal is the prophecy of what you shall at last unveil.

     ~ James Allen