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I am in a similar income situation and our judge determined my income to be a total of all of these things: Distributions paid to me, health/dental/optical insurance premiums, retirement matching dollars, and any other non-cash benefits I receive from the company (ie: use of a company vehicle including licensing, insurance, and fuel expenses, groceries and/or meat provided --the company purchases several beef from local 4H kids each year and shares it w/ all employees, travel expenditures not for the company, etc)

The judge totaled them all up and that was my annual income for c/s purposes.

Isn't there a jag office on your air base? They should be able to help you navigate the ins issues you are facing.

Check with your attorney and be careful with this.

I say this because in my experience I have seen a NCP such as yourself argue that the other parent needed to 1/2 transportation, and that not having enough money was not an excuse.... The judge did order the CP to do 1/2 the driving but dratically increased the NCP's child support.  The explanation for a deviation above guideline was to provide for the added transportation expenses so as not to take away from the childs basic needs the original child support provided for.  

Soc, I am preparing interrogatories for parenting and financial info. (Case and all parties are in MT) I had prepared the following interrogatories with regard to the parenting schedule for the child, but someone mentioned that they could be refused for being far reaching and overly broad.

Would you please review them and share with me if you think they are acceptable or over reaching?

1) State the permanent legal and physical custody arrangements that you believe are in the best interests of the child, specifically address the time that each natural parent should have with child.
 
2) Describe in detail the parenting responsibilities assumed by each party to date, and specifically set forth the time spent by each party with the child to date.
 
3)  State the name and address of each witness, expert or otherwise, that you intend to call on your behalf in this proceeding, and for each such witness, state:
a. The substance of the facts and opinions to which the witness is expected to testify;
b. Any assumed facts upon which the witness will rely;
c. A summary of the grounds for each opinion;
d. The contents of any documents upon which the witness will rely; and
e. The venue, case name and file number of any other matter in which the witness has testified


Thank you.

I see your point, it does seem controlling and will make us look poorly.

Thank you.

I can't afford another $2-3,000 on top of legal fees right now, and x already offered to pay for the evaluator she suggested.

1) If I insist we use another evaluator in the interest of time, even though they may not be as qualified, will x still have to pay for the entire eval?

Thank you.

The reason x is requesting one specific professional is because we live in a very rural area and this is the only clinical psychologist for aprox. 200 miles any direction. Both lawyers think she is very qualified and very fair, but because she's the only one she's not able to get to us for at least 3 months.

The alternative our attorney has suggested are some court volunteers. They are DFS employees who volunteer in cases like this. They are not counselors or lawyers. X says that if we are going to pay for this eval it needs to be done by the most competant individual possible.

Our problem w/ that is that our attorney thinks she's just stalling for time to collect as much child support as she can before the obligation goes down. Her offer is the opposite of that.

1) Knowing why x wants this professional does this stil sound quirky to you?

All parties and order in MT

My husband and I are expecting our 1st child. He has one child who is 5 now. There is a child support order in place and we are going to court in 2 months for a child support review and for more parenting time.

The mother has requested a parenting eval. and has offered to pay for it. The professional she selected is unavailable for sevaral months.  We have suggested less qualified individuals instead, she disagrees.

She has offered to waive child support from October until whenever the parenting eval is completed if we will agree to the evaluator she has suggested. We dont object to the evaluator, just the amount of time we'd have to wait before she can get to us.

The mother makes more in a year than my husband and I combined, the child wants for nothing and will not be harmed in any way by this. She says she doesnt even use the child support. Says it all goes in to a college account.

1) Is this legal?
2) Can the attorneys write an agreement to eliminate child support for a few months for the judge to sign off on?
3) If this is allowed, is there a specific term for it?
4) Does this seem strange in your opinion?

I thought the same thing as you when a friend suggested I buy the book.  I finally bought it anyway, and it was anything but what I had expected.

It is geared towards parents who deal with another parent who is intent on putting themselves before the children, and how to learn to deal with them without being pulled into their negativity.

It was very helpful to me as my x spends entirely too much time dreaming up ways to harass, annoy, or otherwise 'stick it to me'.  This book helped me tremendoulsy in navigating a conversation w/ my x to still accomplish a meaningful coversation without letting their antics phase me.. i highly reccomend it even though the title is inflamatory.

I don't have any certain legal advice to help you through this process, but your story is very much like my own.  I am currently (and have been since birth) the CP of our 5 year old. My x sounds very much like yours and each time there is a new significant other decides to play super parent and demand "rights".  

We have tried 50/50 in almost every arrangement there is on several occassions now.  Each time, as soon as the S.O. is gone, the arrangement ends and we go back to eow.  

Anyway, I know how frustrating and at times infuriating it can be to be in your position.  I don't know what you can do legally.. but in terms of preventing your own sanity, I do have a few been there done that suggestions that have helped me:

First and foremost get yourself into individual counseling. The biggest thing I learned is to treat this transition period like a traumatic event and for the grief and loss that it is.. that alone helped me tremendously.  

You don't have to tell the x you're going nor can he require you to tell him.. and trust me, it helps so much!! If nothing else it is a safe outlet away from your kids and your friends so that you can be at your best when you are with them.

Also, there are a few books that have been a lifesaver to me!
- Joint Custody With a Jerk
-Mom's House, Dad's House
- Divorce Poision
- Raising Boys (actually deals a lot w/ boys in seperated households)

I found all of them on Amazon.

Good luck, and keep your head up. Get yourself into counseling to unload somewhere safe, and keep doing what you know to be best for your kids.

I know it's a hard pattern to break, but stop defending your life decisions to your x. He is your X and you don't owe him anything by way of an explanation.

If he brings it up, do as the other posters have said and simply say you meant to tell him but the children are so excited they let it slip first! End of story!

You deserve to be happy and move on with your life, anf frankly having children with your new husband is none of his business!