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I had a friend who's hubby was injured on the job.  It affected him physically and mentally. He also changed, due to the brain injury, and due to depression, it's been 6 years since the accident, he's healed physically (took 3 years) and just now is looking for a job because she couldn't take it anymore and kicked him out.  Tough love she said. But he is finally getting his act together now that she isn't doing everything for him. I guess it's the sink or swim thing with them.  

I can't imagine going thru what you are going thru.  I guess on the bright side, I guess it's good that you aren't losing your skids that you love as your own.  

I doubt he is having a bad reaction to the meds, he probably just doesn't "know" what normal is due to the brain injury and "forgets" that normal is when he does take the meds. Alot like with schitzophrenics, they start feeling good so they stop taking meds, then they are back to square one and don't know it.  

Hopefully he will be compliant with his doctors orders and with time, his brain will continue to heal.  Who knows to what extent, it sometimes takes years.  

Hang in there!  My thoughts and prayers are with you!!!

Patton is correct.  You are in the clear.  She is blowing smoke up your you know what.  Don't sweat it.  If hubby dies, YOU would have to sign a release to give her any money at all.  So, get some duct tape to shut her up.  Heee Heee Heee...

Unreal!

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How can I find out if Glenn Sacks airs where I live (middle of nowhere kansas?)  Thanks...nosonew

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Questions:
1. How long ago did this occur?  
2. How old is the child now/then?
3.  What on earth was he thinking?
4. Were you with him at this time?
5. Does he still have contact with the kids, if so, what, how much?

Thanks, this will help answer your previous question.

(I am the sm, so answering from what I have seen)----And I've been sm since child was 4, now 14.

1.) How did the alienation of your child from yourself start?
      -BM began telling son that dad would die if he went to see him, sm was trying to kill her, sm would kill him, nobody loves him except bm, etc. etc

2.) What kind of things did your ex do to keep your child away from you?

-Refuse visistation, tell him if he went to sleep at dads house, something bad would happen so he should tell dad and me that he wanted to go home.  -Would call him when he was at our house, ask him on the phone "don't you have something you want to tell mommy?"  To which he would say "If forgot what I was supposed to say", she would remind him, "Did you tell your dad you wanted to come home because you are homesick?"  Then son would say to dad or me, "I want to go home cause I'm sick".  He was 5 at this time.  The list goes on and on, but many things like this and worse, like false allegations of sexual abuse, the child told what to say, CPS investigated and found she had coached him to say these things...on and on.

3.) Did you take it to court? If so, how many times have you been to court and what has been your cost so far?

-Have been to court approx 6 times, mainly for contempt issues.  She just got her hand slapped, but threatened by judge to change custody if she continued, all bs, because he wouldn't follow thru.  Total $ for court/attorney/mediator fees to date ----around 20,000.00 give or take a little.

4.) How has the judicial system aided the alienator in your case?

-By not making her accountable for her actions.

5.) What kind of untruths have been said about you in public to keep PAS alive in your situation?

-Not much is ever said in public, she's not big on socialization.  At least to my knowledge.

6.) How much has the PAS cost you in terms of emotional distress to you, your child, and your current family?

Can't measure it.  Child has pulled away from mom now and lives with us.  He doesn't even want to see her, except has to once in a while per court order.  I believe it has been hardest on him, and once I accepted I cannot change her behavior, only my reaction to it, it helped alot.  My ss still has alot of issues at school, occas. behavior problems, socialization problems which are just now resolving, trust issues, learning the difference between lying and telling the truth (you can't tell a 4-8 year old that you can lie and it's okay if it gets you what you want-they never learn the difference)

7.) What kinds of things, if anything, did you as the alienated parent do in the beginning of your situation that may have contributed to the alienation?

--I don't think either my husband or myself did anything to contribute to what she did, but I personally did things just to piss her off AFTER she started the crap.  In hindsite, I should have just ignored her totally, and I learned that years ago.  I don't EVER give her a reason to say anything to ss negative about me.  It's a little hard for her to state that I called her a bad name if I don't speak to her at all! (And in the past, all I have done is told her to her face she was a selfish b@tch and that she did not own this child like a piece of property)

8.) What do you think you could have done differently, if anything, to make the situation a little better?

-Well my husband could have kept his peter in his pants since it was just a one night stand!  Myself, I would have found this site (was it here in 1994?) and found a legal way to get this child out of her evil, manipulating hands long ago!!!

Maybe when he gets it done, you can offer us a look at it!

Document, document, document!!!  Keep that up.

Can you find a sitter for the child?  Then you can take the child, take her to daycare and still work.  Give bm half the bill afterwards.  If you pay half of her childcare, then bm must pay the other half, right?  

I would save up 10-15 mini-contempts and file those together. It shows a pattern of behavior to the courts.  And you can also discuss the other issues that are coming up as well, (like her demanding this and that)  I would suggest a very, very explicit parenting plan that discusses every aspect of every thing.  Look on the sparc archives and you will find a ton of info.  And keep checking back, lots of good advice, Im sure you will get more!  Good luck and don't ever give up!

First, get yourself a new attorney, find one that specializes in family law.
Secondly, go for it!  These kids need stability and your main case will lay with:
a.  School change
b.  BM not following doctors recommendations
c.  Living conditions with her vs. with you
d.  Two parent homes are better than one parent homes
e.  Your willingness (from the past) to work with her, you willingness to take on the expense of preschool and possible tutoring as needed.

Good luck, I say GO FOR IT!  What do you have to lose except a little cash?