Menu

Show posts

This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.

Show posts Menu

Topics - Crockpot

#1
My Dh's ex was arrested last night.  Karma's a bitch!  We'd like to get the details of the charges.  Anyone know of a site to look this type of info up?  

Thanks.
#2
Minnesota State Forum / on line cs calculator
Jan 09, 2008, 01:34:21 PM
I'm assuming some have used this.  I'm plugging in the numbers, but my DH has his kids about 38% of the time.  The caclulator defaults to 12% if I choose the 10-45% option.  Anyone know how to calculate a different pecentage?

http://childsupportcalculator.dhs.state.mn.us/Calculator.aspx
#3
Minnesota State Forum / Attorney recommendations
Oct 18, 2007, 02:57:36 PM
DH has an attorney but we both agree he's not agressive enough.  Maybe he just realistic, but we'd like to start looking for a new one.  Any recommendations?  We live in SW metro but are willing to drive for the right one.  

Thanks!
#4
Minnesota State Forum / Medical Assistance
Sep 20, 2007, 05:15:55 PM
I was checking out the on line child support calculator on the state's web site.  My DH carries health insurance on his kids, so I put that in.  Then I checked 'yes' parent B (ex) has medical assistance on kids, becuase she does.  The calculator would not let me have an insurance cost and have medical assistance checked.

Long story short, can she legally have medical assistance on kids that are covered by other parent's health insurance?  
#5
Minnesota State Forum / Sunshine!
Aug 10, 2007, 04:28:11 PM
Hello.  I'm wondering if I can get your help with something?  SO's ex is claiming her wallet was stolen at work and has filed a police report.  I suspect it's a lie to get SO to buy school supplies for kids.  Can you do some research for me?  I still have your email address.  I can send you more details.

Thanks!
#6
Minnesota State Forum / Getting address from CP
Jun 01, 2007, 12:28:52 PM
I posted this on Soc's board a while ago but I'm looking for a local perspective.  My SO's ex won't tell us where she and kids are living.  They share legal custody with SO being NCP.  SO called CS office today and she did give them their new address but they won't give it to SO.  As part of the paperwork for their divorce is a copy of the statue that states parents have 10 days to notify each other of new address.  So we know the law is on our side.  

We have a handwritten note from her dated 5/25 that the reason she won't give SO the address is because SO won't give her my last name (great argument!).  SO and I live together and will be married in September.  I've already had to change my cell # because she was sending me inappropriate text messages.  I don't want her bothering me.    

How do we get the address?  Do we have to file for an emergency hearing?  We have her home phone # but it's unlisted and probably in her boyfriends name.  The divorce is in Hennepin, we live in Scott and she lives in Dakota (we know the city name).  Any ideas?  We were thinking of getting it though the schools in the fall but don't want to wait that long.

Thanks.  
#7
Minnesota State Forum / State Statutes question
May 25, 2007, 06:20:25 AM
My SO and his ex share legal custody of 2 girls.  SO is NCP.  Even after her attorney and mediator told her SO does NOT need her permission to take girls out of state on his time she insists he gets her 'permission.'  It's annoying and ridiculous.  Is there anywhere in the state statutes that addresses this?  We'd like to email it to her.  That type of response seems to shut her up (for lack of a better term).

Thanks.
#8
Minnesota State Forum / Help on temporary custody
Apr 26, 2007, 04:05:59 PM
I also posted this on Soc's board.

My SO got a call from his ex tonight. Her boyfriend recently moved and emptied their joint checking. Her rent check bounced and she's being evicted. She asked my SO to take the kids temporarily. We're willing to do that but would like to make it permanent (didn't tell her that). SO and ex plan to go to the court house tomorrow to file the paperwork for the temporary change (Hennipen County).

How does SO take full advantage of this? We want his kids full time. Without bashing, let's just say she's not going to win any mother of the year awards.

How long do the kids need to be with us before the courts would consider letting them stay with us? They live close enough that they can stay in their current schools. But we do live in another district.

Suggestions?
#9
Hello.  I'm writing this from my SO account.  We are going to be married in September and will probably use my employer's insurance for us and his kids.  He is NCP.  His divorce was before the new CS laws and took into account his net income.  

Will the insurance costs coming out of my paycheck affect his CS if ever recalculated?  His net income will increase but only on paper, it will come out of my paycheck.  My understanding is when done on the new CS system they look at gross income.  Anyone have any advice or experience with this?

Thanks!
#10
Minnesota State Forum / Parenting time expeditor
Mar 28, 2007, 01:28:06 PM
Has anyone had to use a parenting time expeditor?  Just wondering about the process.  

My ex and I JUST signed a new order which gives me 1/2 of school breaks.  The order says the time is split in coordination with both parents.  My ex is telling me that I have to take the kids Wed-Sunday.  I'm unable to take Thursday and Friday off from work and gave her two other options.  She basically said, her way or no way.  Since the kids just moved into this school district  and the order was just signed in the last few weeks, Spring break came up without much notice or I would have day care options while I work.  

We have a clause that we'd use an expeditor to decide things that we can't.  I didn't think we'd need it so soon.  The order was just signed last month.  

 
#11
Minnesota State Forum / Right of first refusal
Feb 23, 2007, 01:36:55 PM
Hello.  First time poster.  Is the right of first refusal implied in Minnesota or does it have to be written in the orders?  I tried looking on line and couldn't find anything which leads me to beleive it's not implied.

Thanks!
#12
I've previously posted that my SO's ex does not have a car (SO is NCP, dad).  CP/BM won't be getting one anytime soon.  Because she can't meet at the designated exchange point between our houses, SO has to drive much further to see kids.  It's very likely his Wed night visits will end because by the time he gets to their house he'll have to return them less than an hour later and we can't afford for him to eat out with them every week (and the gas!).  They were coming to our house for a family dinner.

His current Wed. time is 5pm-7pm on school nights and until 8pm on non-school nights.  This order was signed in March when BM had a car.  We'd like to extend our Wed visits to overnights so SO can see them.  We can get them to school in the AM when necessary.  Is her lack of transportation enough change in circumstance to get this changed?  More often than not, they've stayed overnight on Wed this summer to accommodate SO's need to get them to summer school (because BM has no transportation).  So we have a pattern of this already happening.  BM will not agree to it unless it's court ordered.  

Another question.  To add a first refusal clause to an order do you need to justify it being added?  I ask because BM lost her daycare recently.  She brought the kids to her sister's house for the week.  She's basically made it impossible for SO to see kids this week since they are so far away.  She didn't ask SO if either of us (or his mom) could watch them.  The kids spend so much time away from their mom it's ridiculous.  We don't have a lot documented on this, thus the question about justifying the order.

Thanks.        
#13
Dear Socrateaser / Transportation
Jul 20, 2007, 04:26:01 PM
SO and ex signed an agreement in March that they would meet in the parking lot of a local store to exchange kids.  They share legal and SO is NCP.  At the time it was half way between our houses.  In April BM moved and lost her car (it belonged to her BF and they split up).  She moved farther away from us.  SO's only option is to pick kids up at BM's house.  After being laid off for months SO starts a new job next week that won't get him to BM's house with enough time to see the girls on the Wed night visits.  He would have time to see them if she could get them to the court ordered meeting place though.  

BM does not have a car.  OK, but there are other means of transportation.  Do the courts take any of that into account?  I know she's not willfully without a car, but she's not doing much to make seeing the kids easier.  Unless she wins the lottery the woman is not getting a car anytime soon.  I'm wondering if we should file to extend our Wednesday night visits to an overnight so SO has some time with his kids.  Would her inability to transport kids be enough to change the order?  Also, the court order is to exchange kids at the store.  What if we brought them to that store after our visits instead of to BM's house forcing her to get there to get the kids?  Opinions?  I know it's underhanded, but the woman does nothing to help SO see his kids.          
#14
Dear Socrateaser / Court order and birthdays
May 23, 2007, 02:03:18 PM
SO just spent a year to establish specific parenting time with his kids.  Their divorce was very vague (SO's attorney was NOT good).  Over the years she's been increasingly difficult to deal with so we hired a new attorney and after a year of mediation and attorney's fees she caved two days before court.  

The order is very standard.  One issue BM had was kids b-days.  BM wanted the kids on their actual b-day every year.  SO compromised and asked to have them when their b-day fell on his time.  And that's how the order was signed.  This is where my concern comes in.  I think we would have been better off not addressing b-days at all in the order.  This way if we ever went back to court to alternate them we'd have a better chance of getting the order changed (since there is no order either way).  I'm assuming if it's not specified they kids would be with the parent who's day it was.  

Make sense?  Any comments?
#15
Dear Socrateaser / Address
May 15, 2007, 12:37:33 PM
My SO ex's just moved this weekend.  She won't give SO their new address.  He's told her he's going to request an emergency change of custody if she doesn't find a permanent place for them to live.  She was recently evicted from her apartment of one month.  So, I suspect something is up.  They share legal, SO is NCP.  This may vary by state, but is she required to give him that information?

Thanks.
#16
Dear Socrateaser / Insurance
May 11, 2007, 08:53:16 AM
SO's divorce states he has to keep medical insurance for minor children through his employer.  So, what happens when he's unemployed?  He was laid off two weeks ago and his insurance coverage has ended.  

After child support is taken from his unemployment benefits he'll bring home $100 a month.  The kids need coverage but he literally doesn't have enough to cover it.  He's not willfully breaking the court order, but could he be held in contempt?  

My take on it is, the orders say 'though his employer' and he currently doesn't have one, so they can't hold him to it.  Not ideal, but reality.
#17
Dear Socrateaser / Question about comtempt
May 01, 2007, 01:06:10 PM
SO has an order that states he and ex meet at a store near us to exchange kids.  Well, ex no longer has a car and can't get to the store (she could take a cab).  SO picked kids up at ex's house last time, but we want her to stick to the agreement.  She's the type if we give an inch, she'll take a mile.  She has no means to get a car anytime soon that we know of, so this is not a short term issue.  

If she doesn't get the kids to the meeting point, is she in contempt?  My understanding is she has to willfully disregard the order.

Thanks!
#18
Dear Socrateaser / Custody Pro Se
Apr 30, 2007, 10:26:58 AM
I'm interested in hearing from people who've fought a custody battle Pro Se.  We're in MN.  My fiancé is seriously considering trying for custody of his two girls.  His ex would not be represented either.  In reading the article on this web site about defining substantial change in circumstances, I'm confident we have enough.  But can we prove it...  

The latest is her telling us she's being evicted after moving a month ago – her live in boyfriend moved out and cleaned out their account (she knew him a matter of months before he moved it).  He was providing her a car too, so she no longer has that either.  It will be oldest daughters 3rd school in 12 months.  She already struggles with school work, this is NOT helping.  

Is it possible to win a case Pro Se?  It seems so obvious to us the kids would be better off with us, but I know it's not that easy.  
#19
Dear Socrateaser / Help with temporary custody
Apr 26, 2007, 04:03:06 PM
My SO got a call from his ex tonight.  Her boyfriend recently moved and emptied their joint checking.  Her rent check bounced and she's being evicted.  She asked my SO to take the kids temporarily.  We're willing to do that but would like to make it permanent (didn't tell her that).  SO and ex plan to go to the court house tomorrow to file the paperwork for the temporary change.  

How does SO take full advantage of this?  We want his kids full time.  Without bashing, let's just say she's not going to win any mother of the year awards.

How long do the kids need to be with us before the courts would consider letting them stay with us?  They live close enough that they can stay in their current schools.  But we do live in another district.  

Suggestions?    
#20
Dear Socrateaser / Parenting time expeditor
Mar 29, 2007, 05:25:45 PM
I posted this on my state board (MN) but haven't gotten any responses.  Has anyone had to use a parenting time expeditor? Just wondering about the process.  Does it really work?  Is it fair?  

My ex and I JUST signed a new order which gives me 1/2 of school breaks. The order says the time is split in coordination with both parents. My ex is telling me that I have to take the kids Wed-Sunday. I'm unable to take Thursday and Friday off from work and gave her two other options. She basically said, her way or no way. Since the kids just moved into this school district and the order was just signed in the last few weeks, Spring break came up without much notice or I would have day care options while I work.  She has no real reason that I know of to insist on the Wed-Friday time.

We have a clause that we'd use an expeditor to decide things that we can't. I didn't think we'd need it so soon. The order was just signed last month.  If she keeps this up it may be cheaper to go back to court to firm up the order.  It says we have to coordinate these shool breaks together.  

Any thoughts?
#21
Dear Socrateaser / Right of First Refusal
Mar 05, 2007, 01:00:00 PM
Both in MN, share legal, ex has physical.

I'm kicking myself now because my ex and I just signed to amend our orders to specify my parenting time and I should have added a right of first refusal clause.  With less than two weeks notice and at the same time we were signing the new orders she moved within 15 miles of me (she had been 40).

Ex leaves our daughters with babysitters on a regular basis.  I was upset to learn the night before my oldest daughter was starting her new school mom was at a concert and daughter was home with ex's boyfriend.  I would have gladly taken her if I had known mom wasn't home.  

If I catch my ex in the right mood she may agree to ask me to take the kids when she'll be gone for more than a few hours, but history shows that attitude won't last so I'd like it in the orders.

I don't pay for a portion of my kids daycare, as she has no records of paying for it.  

1. Is requesting a right of first refusal clause something that can easily be done pro se?

2. Since I'm assuming a judge would agree being with the other parent is better than a babysitter do I have to show a pattern of her leaving kids with babysitters?    

I look at it like, if she doesn't leave them with babysitters a lot then, great put the clause in and we'll never need it.  So there doesn't seem to be much argument against not adding it.

Thanks.
#22
Dear Socrateaser / Audio documentation
Mar 01, 2007, 02:43:14 PM
I use a calendar and notebook to track issues with my ex.  I think recording myself retelling the situation vs. writing it down would more efficient and comprehensive.    

My goal is to eventually increase my parenting time, if not get custody of my kids.  And I've been told documenting is very important.

1. Would the courts accept recordings as documentation of events?

Thanks.  
#23
Dear Socrateaser / Small claims court
Feb 22, 2007, 01:44:21 PM
After our divorce was final I loaned my ex $1000 to buy the trailer she and my children live in.  At the time she agreed to pay me back a little each month.  I haven't seen a dime.  On the memo portion of the check I wrote "loan for trailer."  I have the cancelled check.  I had also written up a payment schedule but she never signed it.

I'd like to file in small claims court ASAP.  My ex is in the process of moving and voluntarily quite her job and apparently will find a new one near her new home.  

Assuming I win my case in small claims:

1. Is there a default payment method the court goes to?  

2. Can I request a particular method of payment (i.e. tax refund garnishment)?  

3. Will her unemployment influence the way the court rules?

4. Is there a statue of limitation on debt collection?  I loaned her the money several years ago.

Thanks!
#24
Dear Socrateaser / Requesting a continuance
Feb 12, 2007, 06:14:52 PM
I have a court date on 2/22 requesting a change in my parenting time.  I am NCP.  We share legal.  Our divorce only states 'liberal' parenting time and my ex has become increasingly difficult to deal with.

I'm requesting (what I think is) very reasonable time.  EOW, alternating holidays, one night a week and her driving 50% of the time.    I'm also asking for attorney fees.  We've been going back and forth since last March.  She refused to do any of the driving and wants the kids for 10 hours if their birthdays fall on my time.  We tried mediation until my ex cancelled the last appointment.  Ex had an attorney but fired him several months ago.  And has failed to respond to several letters from my attorney.

In a conversation I had with my ex tonight she warned me she was going to request a continuance in court on the 22nd.  Her basis is she hasn't been able to afford to retain another attorney.  She has not indicated that anything in her circumstance will change to allow her to afford an attorney in the near future.  In fact she told me she's spending her tax return to move.      

1.  In your opinion is her reason for a continuance valid?

2.   If it's granted and she comes back to court without counsel, will there be any repercussions?

Thanks!
#25
Dear Socrateaser / Counseling and moving
Feb 12, 2007, 11:25:23 AM
I am NCP of two girls (ages 8 and 5).  CP wanted to send eight year old to counseling for behavioral issues.  I provided her with names of counselors in my insurance network.  Once I told her I wanted to be involved, she said she's not going to do it then.  My youngest has made comments lately about not liking CP.

I think both children would benefit from counseling.  We share legal custody and I have parenting time EOW, alternating holidays and extended time in summer and school breaks.  I also see them on Wednesday nights from about 5-7pm.

Since CP won't take them if I'm involved, I'm considered taking them myself.  

1. Is it possible to get counseling court ordered so we have more flexibility as to where they go since my weekday/night time with them is limited?

2.  If so, can you give me some pointers on how I would accomplish this?

On another topic, CP has mentioned moving with children.  My understanding is she'd need my consent to move out of state.

1. Are out of state moves the only ones that need consent?  Or do they also consider distance?  

Thank you for your time
#26
Dear Socrateaser / What will the judge hear?
Feb 06, 2007, 10:21:01 AM
My court date is 2/22.  My attorney filed for a modification of my parenting time.  My ex will not be represented.  I am NCP and we share legal custody.  

My attorney tells me we have about 20 minutes in front of the judge.  My ex is a bit hot headed and any time she disagrees with me she says "I'm brining this up in court!"  Some examples of issues are, child care costs and the way I discipline our children.

1.  Will the judge hear testimony on issues not submitted before the court date?

2.  Would my ex have to request a seperate court date to address her issues?

Thanks!
#27
Dear Socrateaser / Documenting
Jan 29, 2007, 08:58:02 AM
I am NCP.  I share legal custody.  My story is not unique.  I regret not fighting for custody when we divorced.  I was hoping my ex would improve as a parent and get herself together.  She hasn't in my opinion.  

My hope would be to some day get custody of my girls.  I had some very damning evidence on her about a year ago, but from some bad advice from my attorney I didn't act on it.  

I keep hearing 'document, document, document.'  I keep a log of things I believe may be of importance in a custody fight.  But I'm not sure at what point I can do something about them and what/how to track.

We are going to court in February to establish my parenting time.  Our divorce did not indicate any specifics.  CP was moving out of state when we split.  She came back a few months later.  I don't believe I have enough evidence to try for custody at this point.

I am concerned that by going to court now and agreeing to just the standard EOW, holiday plan it may negate any future custody battle since some of the negative behavior is currently happening.

I'm stuck between what is worth bringing to court and what is not.  
     
1. What types of things should I keep track of?  Should I assume more is better than less?

2.  Do I bring any of it up in court next month?  I will have an attorney, my ex will not.  
     
Thank you.
#28
Dear Socrateaser / Changing to 50/50 custody
Jan 23, 2007, 07:38:26 AM
Hello.  I'm hoping to someday get at least 50/50 custody of my girls. My ex, the CP has an unstable life for my girls.  Not enough for the courts to remove them but enough that I'm concerned about them.  Sadly, at this point I'm waiting for her to do something really stupid.

They live about 40 miles away.  CP has talked about moving to a town 10 miles from where I live now.  If she doesn't, I've considered moving closer to them.  I currently have parenting time EOW and one night a week.  There are extended visits on holidays and in the summer.  

My understanding is there needs to be a change of circumstance for the courts to change a custody arrangement.  

1.  Does the change have to be in the home of the CP?
2.  Would me moving by my girls be enough to move for 50/50?

Thanks.
#29
Dear Socrateaser / Medical appointments
Dec 27, 2006, 01:20:19 PM
I share legal custody of my two daughters, I am NCP.  My oldest has issues with her teeth and had several cavities filled this last year.  The dentist said to follow up in six months.  It's been eight months and CP has not made follow up appointment.  


1.  If I make the dentist appointment with the intention of bringing her there myself, do I have to do it during my parenting time?  

2. If no, what do I need to provide CP and/or authorities to have my daughter 'released' to me.

Thanks.
#30
Dear Socrateaser / Insurance affecting net income
Dec 18, 2006, 06:54:11 AM
I pay CS to my ex for our two daughters.  The formula is 30% of net income.  Either party can have it reviewed every three years and this is our year for review.

I'm required to carry health insurance on the girls.  I am engaged and plan to move myself and girls to my finance's health insurance policy after I'm married, it's less expensive and better coverage.

Right now I'm overpaying CS by about $15 a week because of the increasing cost of insurance but don't play to request a review.  My ex has 'threatened' me with one and  I suspect if she doesn't request a review this year she will eventually.

When married my net income will increase dramatically if I move the insurance to my wife's policy.

1.  Do the courts take into consideration that the insurance is coming from spouse's income?

2.  If so, will she have to prove it by providing a paycheck?    

Thank you.