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I was thinking about the ADHD combined with the poor school performance too.  I'll talk to DH about it.  

I didn't realize that caffeine was a treatment for ADHD.  I still don't agree to use it and then send child to school without knowing what will happen - it didn't work.  BM is no RN, that's for sure.  BM and DH both agree not to try meds unless as a last resort - so interesting that she would try caffeine  

BM would never give us temp custody.  In her words, "that B*tch is not raising my kids."  I would be the B*tch.  The girls have had such an unstable life with BM, we really believe they would thrive with us.  Maybe in time she'll get to the point where she'll give us a chance.  

YSD had her best day at school after spending the night and morning with us.  I know it's just one day, but I hope it's the start of a pattern.  

 

YSD (5) is having an evaluation for ADHD in a couple weeks.  From what DH and I see, we fully expect a diagnosis of hyperactivity at a minimum.  DH is NCP and is very concerned about BM ability to handle daughters, especially if an ADHD diagnosis comes.  OSD (8) is socially OK, but at the bottom of her class in all subjects.

BM is single and works a job that does not get the kids home until close to 7pm (and they haven't eaten dinner yet).  DH and I truly feel she is not capable of parenting these girls.  She lacks the skills and general common sense.  Her idea to calm YSD down was to give her COFFEE before school, thinking she'd run herself down and then calm down.  Guess what?  Didn't work!  The teacher was appalled.  We are concerned BM won't follow through with the Dr's suggestions etc.  She's a very inconsistent parent (to say the least!).  

DH and I have talked consulting an attorney about filing for custody if the ADHD diagnosis comes.  Opinion/experience on if this is enough or a start to change custody?    

DH has a call with youngest's teacher tomorrow AM.  He's going to ask about seeing a counselor.  He talked to his attorney today too and he suggested the same thing.

Does anyone out there have experience with custody changes based on children's poor performance/behavior in school?  

My DH has two daughters (he's NCP).  Both are behind in school.  The youngest just started kindergarten and has had issues with wetting her pants, hitting, and talking back to the teacher.  She never attended preschool and was removed from more than one daycare for hitting.  How long does this have to go on before a judge would consider a change in custody?  Any advice out there?  

I believe that if the NCP does not share legal then they do need the OK of CP to take child out of state.

I've posted this on a couple boards...

My SO got a call from his ex tonight. Her boyfriend recently moved and emptied their joint checking. Her rent check bounced and she's being evicted. She asked my SO to take the kids temporarily. We're willing to do that but would like to make it permanent (didn't tell her that). SO and ex plan to go to the court house tomorrow to file the paperwork for the temporary change.

How does SO take full advantage of this? We want his kids full time. Without bashing, let's just say she's not going to win any mother of the year awards.

How long do the kids need to be with us before the courts would consider letting them stay with us? They live close enough that they can stay in their current schools. But we do live in another district.

Suggestions?

Yup, that's what I meant and what I was thought too.

Thanks.

I came here looking for just this topic!  Question though, if your wife keeps the notes does it matter to the judge that she may have gotten information from you?  

For example if BM was late for a drop off and we note it, does it have to be noted by the person who waited for BM to show?  

Does this make sense?!  

Thanks.

We've had several instances where BM wants to switch days.  We've found the best thing is to have make up time before the day you'll miss.  That way you ensure you get it.

I grew up in an intact, close family.  I'm now a SM of two girls.  Because they have specific time dedicated to see their dad, they spend more time interacting and communicating with him than I did with my dad, even though I saw him every day.  

Quality not quantity.