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I'm interested in hearing from people who've fought a custody battle Pro Se.  We're in MN.  My fiancé is seriously considering trying for custody of his two girls.  His ex would not be represented either.  In reading the article on this web site about defining substantial change in circumstances, I'm confident we have enough.  But can we prove it...  

The latest is her telling us she's being evicted after moving a month ago – her live in boyfriend moved out and cleaned out their account (she knew him a matter of months before he moved it).  He was providing her a car too, so she no longer has that either.  It will be oldest daughters 3rd school in 12 months.  She already struggles with school work, this is NOT helping.  

Is it possible to win a case Pro Se?  It seems so obvious to us the kids would be better off with us, but I know it's not that easy.  

Thanks for the response.

We share legal so I think I can enroll them in school by me, but I'll check into that.  

In all my research, I can't find anything in our state (MN) that refers to 'temporary custody' unless it's in reference to the time prior to divorce.  So, I don't know if MN even has such a thing, so maybe we'll have to revise our order and then reverse it if she ever gets them back.  I'll find out tomorrow.

My SO got a call from his ex tonight.  Her boyfriend recently moved and emptied their joint checking.  Her rent check bounced and she's being evicted.  She asked my SO to take the kids temporarily.  We're willing to do that but would like to make it permanent (didn't tell her that).  SO and ex plan to go to the court house tomorrow to file the paperwork for the temporary change.  

How does SO take full advantage of this?  We want his kids full time.  Without bashing, let's just say she's not going to win any mother of the year awards.

How long do the kids need to be with us before the courts would consider letting them stay with us?  They live close enough that they can stay in their current schools.  But we do live in another district.  

Suggestions?    

I called my ex last night to try one more time.  She finally agreed to the days I first requested.  I'm sure it was her plan all along to be a pain in the ass and then give in.  She ended the conversation with "next time don't call me unless it's important."  I see where her priorities are...  I think she's just an unhappy person and likes to spead it around.

Either way I get my kids for a school break for the first time since we divorced.  

My SO has more flexiable hours at work and will be my back up when I can't be there for future visits, but she'll be out of town this time.  

I like the idea of writing something up and asking my ex to sign so we can submit to the courts.  It's worth a try.

Thanks for all the advice!

Her goal is to get me to miss my time.  I believe that 100%.  The parenting expeditor is to issue me make up time if he/she believes my ex was unreasonable in not agreeing to an arrangment for Spring break.

My ex doesn't have anything going on next week, she's not even working.  She's just trying to be a pain the the butt.  I can take time off work, but not at the end of the week so I gave her two senairos that would work for me. She said take them Wed-Friday or nothing.

Mediation is not an option.  We've done it, she was impossible and then canceled our last appointment.  Spring and Winter breaks are the only issues in our parenting time that we have to coordinate.  I'm considering going to court pro se to settle this issue.  It's going to happen over and over.  The kids are young (8 and 5) and I don't want this stuggle every year.  I'd rather a judge lock me into first half of break or 2nd half then to deal with my ex.  At least then I get my time with my kids.    

I posted this on my state board (MN) but haven't gotten any responses.  Has anyone had to use a parenting time expeditor? Just wondering about the process.  Does it really work?  Is it fair?  

My ex and I JUST signed a new order which gives me 1/2 of school breaks. The order says the time is split in coordination with both parents. My ex is telling me that I have to take the kids Wed-Sunday. I'm unable to take Thursday and Friday off from work and gave her two other options. She basically said, her way or no way. Since the kids just moved into this school district and the order was just signed in the last few weeks, Spring break came up without much notice or I would have day care options while I work.  She has no real reason that I know of to insist on the Wed-Friday time.

We have a clause that we'd use an expeditor to decide things that we can't. I didn't think we'd need it so soon. The order was just signed last month.  If she keeps this up it may be cheaper to go back to court to firm up the order.  It says we have to coordinate these shool breaks together.  

Any thoughts?

I called my ex last night to try one more time.  She finally agreed to the days I first requested.  I'm sure it was her plan all along to be a pain in the ass and then give in.  She ended the conversation with "next time don't call me unless it's important."  I see where her priorities are...  I think she's just an unhappy person and likes to spead it around.

Either way I get my kids for a school break for the first time since we divorced.  

My SO has more flexiable hours at work and will be my back up when I can't be there for future visits, but she'll be out of town this time.  

I like the idea of writing something up and asking my ex to sign so we can submit to the courts.  It's worth a try.

Thanks for all the advice!

Her goal is to get me to miss my time.  I believe that 100%.  The parenting expeditor is to issue me make up time if he/she believes my ex was unreasonable in not agreeing to an arrangment for Spring break.

My ex doesn't have anything going on next week, she's not even working.  She's just trying to be a pain the the butt.  I can take time off work, but not at the end of the week so I gave her two senairos that would work for me. She said take them Wed-Friday or nothing.

Mediation is not an option.  We've done it, she was impossible and then canceled our last appointment.  Spring and Winter breaks are the only issues in our parenting time that we have to coordinate.  I'm considering going to court pro se to settle this issue.  It's going to happen over and over.  The kids are young (8 and 5) and I don't want this stuggle every year.  I'd rather a judge lock me into first half of break or 2nd half then to deal with my ex.  At least then I get my time with my kids.    

I posted this on my state board (MN) but haven't gotten any responses.  Has anyone had to use a parenting time expeditor? Just wondering about the process.  Does it really work?  Is it fair?  

My ex and I JUST signed a new order which gives me 1/2 of school breaks. The order says the time is split in coordination with both parents. My ex is telling me that I have to take the kids Wed-Sunday. I'm unable to take Thursday and Friday off from work and gave her two other options. She basically said, her way or no way. Since the kids just moved into this school district and the order was just signed in the last few weeks, Spring break came up without much notice or I would have day care options while I work.  She has no real reason that I know of to insist on the Wed-Friday time.

We have a clause that we'd use an expeditor to decide things that we can't. I didn't think we'd need it so soon. The order was just signed last month.  If she keeps this up it may be cheaper to go back to court to firm up the order.  It says we have to coordinate these shool breaks together.  

Any thoughts?

Both in MN, share legal, ex has physical.

I'm kicking myself now because my ex and I just signed to amend our orders to specify my parenting time and I should have added a right of first refusal clause.  With less than two weeks notice and at the same time we were signing the new orders she moved within 15 miles of me (she had been 40).

Ex leaves our daughters with babysitters on a regular basis.  I was upset to learn the night before my oldest daughter was starting her new school mom was at a concert and daughter was home with ex's boyfriend.  I would have gladly taken her if I had known mom wasn't home.  

If I catch my ex in the right mood she may agree to ask me to take the kids when she'll be gone for more than a few hours, but history shows that attitude won't last so I'd like it in the orders.

I don't pay for a portion of my kids daycare, as she has no records of paying for it.  

1. Is requesting a right of first refusal clause something that can easily be done pro se?

2. Since I'm assuming a judge would agree being with the other parent is better than a babysitter do I have to show a pattern of her leaving kids with babysitters?    

I look at it like, if she doesn't leave them with babysitters a lot then, great put the clause in and we'll never need it.  So there doesn't seem to be much argument against not adding it.

Thanks.