Messages

If it's not a good enough plan for you to have your DS during the summers and/or one weekend a month, why should it be good enough for your STBX? When you are contemplating custody situations, ALWAYS ask yourself if you would accept what your are proposing for the other parent. If you say "no" to a plan, then don't expect the other parent to agree.
He may feel that he is the more stable parent. Where would you stay every month when you bring your DS to "visit" with his father? How will your financial status be improved in three years when he is old enough for school?
This site promotes access to both parents, equally. Be prepared to be boiled alive. Some will do it more kindly.
I hope that the questions that I ask will give you some things to think over.

Is this really worth fighting over? Is there any chance that she could be reacting the way that she does, is because she sees him only 8 days a month. If you added the four days for his weekends, you are only talking about 4 days a month extra.
Now that DS is 20, I wish that I could do-over the arguments that DS's dad and I had.
JMHO. I do get your worry. Believe me.
It's just that now that I'm on the other side, I see things much differently. I don't KNOW that I would do things differently. I would have put more thought into the best interests of DS and not me or his father.

Excellent logic, Tigger! I'm a farm girl and got it right away.

All I can say is "SHAME ON YOU" for leaving. Yes, you should have given contact info BEFORE you left so you should do so immediately give info to the aunt. If you wanted to raise a healthy son, you should have never left. Period.

It's late but you need a new attorney. Your lawyer is not fighting for you. There are ways to force the children back to MS until court is over. You're right about the courts there. I grew up there and know it's mommy biased. There are ways around that though, and some of our long- time members can steer you in the right direction.

There will be more people posting during the week, so don't lose heart if you don't hear a reply right away. I don't have experience with this, other than reading of others' experiences. You might want to go ahead and post how long ago this happened, which states are involved, and the ages of your children.
Because neither of the parents had a custody order, technically, either one can take them. Morally, NOT AT ALL.
Some of the other wiser parents here will be able to help you with the right paperwork to get an emergency custody order and to have this judge overturned. Hopefully.
Best of luck to you. While you wait, read some of the archived articles. They are fantastic and will give you a background on what you have to do to make things more right again.

Also, we read all the boards so you don't have to post on three of them. Just one will catch people's eye. Many postings get confusing.

What is the reason for his dad not being on the birth certificate?
What is the reason for his dad only seeing him twice?
This is a site to help BOTH parents be involved with their children.

Your child's father might want to be more involved in the future. You may be blocking access to the father and child bond. You aren't giving any details about why the father hasn't been involved with his child. There is 50% of your child's family that will lose an important connection to this child.

Yes, you run a HUGE risk by leaving.

PERHAPS WE SHOULD CELEBRATE ALL THREE DAYS. PERHAPS WE SHOULD USE THEM UNTIL ALL CAPS ARE NO LONGER ANNOYING. JMHO, THOUGH. WHAT SAY ALL OF YOU?

Me thnks they are looking for a PBFH situation to exploit.