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Messages - gabes_mom

#11
Dear Socrateaser / Holiday Visitation Problems...
Oct 19, 2006, 08:15:16 PM
I am the NCP and reside in NC, CP and children reside in PA, designated meeting spot is VA.

Holiday Visitation Guidelines:

Thanksgiving = even number years children are to be with NCP from 2pm on the day before Thanksgiving day until 2pm on the day before school reconvenes.

Christmas = every year children are to be with NCP from 2pm on December 26th until 2pm on the day before school reconvenes.

NCP and CP are to meet at designated meeting spot on above days at above times.

My problem is the CP is pregnant and has a C-Section scheduled for December 7th.  She has informed me that she won't be meeting me in VA for the Thanksgiving or Christmas visitation times.  Her reasoning was it isn't safe for her to travel during Thanksgiving and her doctor has adviced her not to do anything for 4 weeks after the baby (which is by her new husband not me) is born which blocks out Christmas as well.

She did tell me if I wanted to see the kids I could drive all the way to PA both holidays and get the kids and bring them back to PA at the end of the allowed visitation times.  I can't afford to do this so this has become a major problem for me.  I want to be able to spend what little time I've been granted with my kids but yet again she has to make it difficult.

1) Will a judge enforce the court order even with her having a C-Section so close to those dates?

2)  Is it likely that the judge will make her find other arrangements to get the kids to VA if a doctor gives her a note stating she can not travel?

Any advice is much appreciated.

Thanks  
#12
Parenting Issues / Any Advice would be helpful
Nov 03, 2006, 11:58:34 AM
I'm posting this for a friend.  She is having a difficult time with her oldest son's actions and behaviour.

Here's some of my friends background info.

Her ex lives with his aunt and her 15 yr old grandson.
Her 10 yr old has begun to call the 5 yr old names like retard, idiot, etc. and he's lying all the time. (which is probably a result of seeing the 15 yr old do this and not get into trouble)
B4 the ex moved in with his aunt the boys were really close.

My friend tried talking to the kids dad and he says they behave fine for him that they only act that way with her is because she's a crazy psycho B!tch. He will talk bad about her to the kids and will tell them they aren't allowed to listen to what she says or love her because that will make him mad if they do. This comes straight from her kids mouth. What is she to do? It's not likely that she is going to get this man to cooperate with her in raising these kids together peacefully. It's not fair to the children that they are being dragged into this no matter who has hurt feelings or for whatever reason. The kids see their father with his standard parenting time being every other weekend and every wednesday. I can understand he may want his kids more often, but I can also understand my friends reluctance in granting this since her ex isn't exactly fostering a loving, and caring relationship between her and their kids.

Any suggestions on how to handle this type of sittuation?
#13
I will definitely consult a lawyer, thanks!

#14
Thank you all very much!

The company has been set up as an LLC, I don't know if that makes any difference, but as owner and president I will be cutting pay checks to both myself and my husband.

Nothing will run thru our personal acct except for our pay checks. There will be a separate business acct to begin with and possibly will have to have multiple accts to carry this business thru because of the type it is.

Would it be best for me to obtain a separate checking acct from my husband to deposit my checks in?

I will indeed consult an attorney about this thank you! I also like the idea of a employee contract made for DH stating he is only and employee and has no say in how the business is run.

I also understand why it would be a concern if we ever divorce but honestly the way we live our lives isn't in the "What If we get divorced" mindset. That may seem naive to most of you but that is how we chose to live our lives. I believe that God will guide me if this ever happens to what the best course of action to take will be.
#15
yeah I know it's based on gross income. Thanks for the link though.
#16
I appreciate your opinion and I believe you didn't completely understand my post b/c I did leave some info out and I didn't word the post that well either.

~I will be the SOLE owner of this business.

~He will indeed quit his job but by working for Me will be getting paid the same as he is now not less. So therefore would not be asking for a decrease in child support. In fact once the business begins to do better he will get a raise and will therefore be getting paid MORE and will be able to pay more in child support.

~You see I am thinking about the children, I agree with child support to a certain extent, but the fact of the matter isn't whether I agree with it. It's a fact of life.

***My concern is with this being MY business (I am sorry I really didn't word that correctly the first time I have gotten into the habit of referring to myself as "we") Will the BM have any claim whatsoever to the business and whatever revenue it may or may not generate?****

Thank you for your response!
#17
I am the Step Mom, DH and I live in NC with our son, and the Bio Mom moved to PA with the kids (ages 8 and 6) back in 2004. We did fight the move from NC to PA but was told there was nothing we could do to stop her.

With that said...

DH and I have a business we are going to start very soon. We have decided to make Me the 100% owner of the business so that she (hopefully) will not have any claim on the business.

I can't find anywhere where she will be entitiled to any part of the business, BUT what if the business starts making a large amount of Revenue?  

Basically at what point if any will she be able to have any claim to my business and any revenue it may or may not generate?
#18
General Issues / RE:Another Question...
Nov 01, 2006, 12:59:06 PM
That is an absolutely wonderful response.  I will share this info with my friend.  It's not that she wants her ex to sign over his rights, it was a comment that another friend of hers told her about which as a stepmom who is married to a NCP father would NEVER encourage the rights of a father be terminated.  

Here's some more of her background issues.

Her ex lives with his aunt and her 15 yr old grandson.
Her 10 yr old has begun to call the 5 yr old names like retard, idiot, etc. and he's lying all the time. (which is probably a result of seeing the 15 yr old do this and not get into trouble)
B4 the ex moved in with his aunt the boys were really close.

My friend tried talking to the kids dad and he says they behave fine for him that they only act that way with her is because she's a crazy psycho B!tch.  He will talk bad about her to the kids and will tell them they aren't allowed to listen to what she says or love her because that will make him mad if they do.  This comes straight from her kids mouth.  What is she to do?  It's not likely that she is going to get this man to cooperate with her in raising these kids together peacefully.  It's not fair to the children that they are being dragged into this no matter who has hurt feelings or for whatever reason.  The kids see their father with his standard parenting time being every other weekend and every wednesday.  I can understand he may want his kids more often, but I can also understand my friends reluctance in granting this since her ex isn't exactly fostering a loving, and caring relationship between her and their kids.  

Any suggestions on how to handle this type of sittuation?
#19
Okay  a friend of mine has an problem and has been recieving some really crazy advice.  Her problem is there is an obvious case of Parental Alienation, and mental abuse from her ex towards her two boys, ages 10 and 5. She is the CP, the oldest boy is exhibiting signs of Parental alienation.  


Anyway the one peice of advice that bothers me the most is...

Someone told her to bribe her ex into agreeing to terminate his parental rights in exchange for no longer having to pay child support.

Isn't that illegal?

Any info regarding this would be appreciated I don't want my friend to be receiving bad advice and I think that this is really bad advice.
#20
No you don't have enough contact with your daughter in my opinion and your current girlfriend needs to get over it!  Sorry but as a stepmom and a mom it infuriates me that another person would try to limit what precious time a child has with their father!  Your girlfriend with her hormone imbalances and all needs to grow up.  I know all you did was post for an answer and I'm not blasting you it just that I can hardly believe that a woman who is going to be a mother herself (even if it is many weeks down the road) would try to keep a child from seeing their father as much as possible.  I'd have a talk with the girlfriend if I were you.