Messages

Melissa3--- that is too funny and reminds me of a sittuation we've had.  My SD's last birthday (back in June) we sent a huge shipment of toys in a box packed with peanut.  The BM got ticked because the toys were packed in peanuts!  I guess the kids got them scattered all over the place.


She also said to DH and I quote " what if they eat them?" DH said now Blank you are their mother I am sure you aren't going to let them eat the peanuts, you have more sense than that don't you?"  I couldn't stop laughing it was PRICELESS.

Thankfully DH's ex lives over 500 miles away.  Yes that makes seeing and being with the kids really difficult and we dont' see them as much as we like but when she moved our stress levels went from always elevated to almost never have to worry about her.

Like some of ya'll said, I'm also the "documentor" and unfortunately I do interact with the BM sometimes I wonder if it'd be easier if I didn't have to bother with her.  However DH and BM don't get along at all and can barely hold a civil conversation.

Davy
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>IMHO, Gabesmom (and Dad) are doing what they can (knowing all
>the players) under the circumstances ... at very least they're
>seeking advise and support.  She should not have to defend her
>inquiry.
>
>  
I just wanted to thank you for what you had to say.

I am not trying to challenge her actions based on anything.

If you look at my original post all I asked was what the standard interstate visitation schedule would look like

And who would be responsible for the financial burden of the added distance. That is all that I asked about.

The issue of jurisdiction is irrelevant the BM agrees that the jurisdiction continues to be NC. At this moment in time it is not a problem, if it ever becomes a problem then we will worry about it at that point.

For those of you still interested in debating who is or is not the state who holds jurisdiction then check out this website:

http://www.law.upenn.edu/bll/archives/ulc/uccjea/chldcus2.htm

Pay close attention to Section 202

IMO I highly doubt a judge would be so willing to change jurisdiction since the BM is bouncing around the US.

I understand NC law where as you apparently do not.

I have taken care of these matters, we have resolved whatever "conflict" we thought may arise out of this and have moved forward. Read everything that I posted before assuming you know what is going on.

NC still holds jurisdiction over the case it is stated in the court order and she has complied with that over these years. She acknowledges the fact that NC still holds jurisdiction it doesn't matter to me whether you or your lawyer acknowledge it.

We can't afford to see the Sk's any weekend in their location. We can barely afford our bills at the moment.

I am glad that your hubby got an agreement that works for ya'll it's nice when you can spend more time with the children.

Unfortunately my sk's schools are nowhere near as convenient as attaching fall and thanksgiving. In fact their school only offers a Thanksgiving break they have no fall break.

That's correct.

Odd years he'll see the kids 5 wks

Even years he'll see the kids 5 wks plus the 2 wks Christmas Vacation.



May not seem like a lot of time to most of you but with the cards we were dealt we did the best we could.

Like I said DH is an OTR truck driver he does the best he can and unfortunately we have no money to take her to court only to fight a losing battle because yes a change of residential custody at this point would have indeed been a losing battle.

Once again thank you all for your comments.

After speaking with my DH he requested that I email the BM and recommend to her this:

BM keeps kids every Thanksgiving and Easter/Spring Break since the vacations are 4-5 days long and most of the kids time would be spent traveling. Even if we were rich (which we are NOT) this wouldn't be fair to the kids.

Christmas Break Odd # years the BM will have the kids from the first day of vacation to the last day of vacation. Even # years DH gets the kids for the full holiday as well. The reason we started off with her having the kids this year is that they will be in Wisconsin there very likely will be weather delays.  In the BM's eyes that will be reason enough to interfere with our visitation times so in order to prevent a hassle we are just making it easier on us and the kids.

Summer Vacation we have the kids for 5 wks just like normal. Yes 5 wks is indeed half of their summer vacation.

Transportation Costs:

The BM to pay 75% of the airfare and DH pay 25% of airfare OR BM travel 75% of the miles where DH travels 25%.

We knew that it would not be realistic to request that she pay 100% of transportation. We know (from experience) that Judges won't go for that, at least not down here.


I emailed BM yesterday afternoon and this morning she agreed that our requests were fair and asked if this were to take effect this year. Of course she was told yes. I am floored that it was that easy, hate to admit now we are waiting for the other shoe to drop if ya KWIM?

Our next step will be to file a motion for modification of visitation and transportation costs and make this court ordered instead of just an agreement. This way we'll be covering our rear end.

Also for those of you who are curious why we didn't try the other route by trying to get the kids custody changed to DH....He is an OTR (over the road) truck driver. It's not realistic for us to assume that the judge would allow such a change of residence when that would put them relying mainly on me to raise them and only seeing their father a few days a month anyway. I am a full time working mom. Their mother is a stay at home mom. It's not likely a judge would see that as a good change regardless of all the state hopping the BM is doing.

Thank you all very much for all the responses it has all be sound advice and I will let you know how the court proceedings go.

" BTW, does she have a legitimate reason for that? Why not move directly to TX and save the kids the havoc of changing schools and making friends twice? "

I don't know what you'd consider legitamate.

The kids mom is a SAHM (don't get me started!) and I believe that she is taking the kids to her in laws house to stay with them for the 4 months that her husband is in training. She may not be allowed on the base (he got a job with the Border Patrol) until his training is complete.

We will be taking her to court either way because we want any modification made to be changed in the Visitation agreement that way it is court order not just an agreement

The BM is custodial

at this point the asking the children to spend MOST of their Thanksgiving and Spring breaks (since they are only 4 days long) traveling isn't fair to the kids. If they lived closer the 24 hrs one way from here we would definitely want that time but since they do not it's just not fair to them.