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Messages - piXi

Father's Issues / I think you are doing well
Sep 24, 2004, 11:21:58 AM
I think separating mothers and babies at this young age is very difficult emtionally and it seems to me you treat your baby's relationship with her father most seriously
to be fed
to be loved and held
to feel comfortable and safe
to be with the people she knows and loves

to  make these wants known in the only ways she can is to be manipulative?
the baby is not yet comfortable with her father and needs time to grow into that relationship.

It seems to me the mother is trying to help that process.
at 4 a child is beginning to be able to deal with these issues but at 8 months not at all.
Father's Issues / beautiful ideas!
Sep 24, 2004, 11:13:54 AM
maybe also make a little album of photos of her with her father so she can see him everyday.
Father's Issues / why would it not be a problem
Sep 24, 2004, 11:12:34 AM
its a situation that causes her pain.

Its not a bad thing to have issues, not a bad thing to  feel pain - its how we grow through these situations and what we learn from them.

It seems to me she is trying her best to learn how to deal with her pain and do the best for her daughter.
Father's Issues / baby steps first
Sep 24, 2004, 11:09:59 AM
perhaps the mother and father could take the  baby to the park and practise tiny separations.

He could walk with her down the path and then then bring her back.

It seems to me if the baby is feeling insecure it isnt possible to make her feel secure by increasing the sitautions that made her so in the beginning.

She has to learn to feel secure with  her father and the easiest way for that to happen is inthe comapny of her mother.

As an aside, I do not believe an  8 month old  child is manipulative.
Father's Issues / this is an 8 month baby!
Sep 24, 2004, 11:05:11 AM
not a toddler or an older child.
her ability to understand even the basics of her situation are limited.
I think the father needs to spend time with the child in the childs environment until she feels comfortable and familar with him.

as a form of revenge?

If your fear is if you give back custody she will  hinder your relationship with your daughter then it might be a good idea to work out a parenting plan that  gives you  the time you want plus unlimited ad hoc visitation.