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Thank you.  I really like the checklist idea.

The kids are young.  I don't want to give too much information here, but they're both under 10 yrs old.  I have proof, and the evaluators are going to talk to the teachers, guidance counselors, etc.  So I'm sure the teacher will tell them the same thing he is telling me.

I have had two conferences with their teachers, a conference with their guidance counselors and with their principles.  I have gotten copies of the school books, but a lot of stuff is journal writing in notebooks, and I don't get the notebooks.  BM is telling them (the school) that she IS giving me the homework and I'm just not doing it.  It's a total bold-faced lie, and she's just doing it to make me look bad.  It's one of many things she's done like this.  It just really torques me that she is hurting the kids schoolwork just to advance her own agenda.

Whenever I pick my kids up for weekend visitation I ask for their homework so they can work on it at my house.  I'm always told by BM that the homework has been done - but when I talk to their teachers I'm told that homework given over the weekends is late or incomplete.  One teacher sent me an e-mail telling me that the child said that BM wouldn't allow them to take homework to my house because they didn't have time to do it there.

She was using homework as one reason to limit the amount of time I could spend with the kids, but now that we have a court date approaching for a custody hearing she's practically pushing the kids on me in an effort to appear cooperative - but the homework thing is still an issue.

I have talked to her about it several times, and she doesn't budge.  What do you think a judge would say about this?  What about a GAL?  

I'm also worried because she's been SO cooperative for the last six weeks - basically ever since she was served the petitions.  I'm worried that a GAL or judge will look at that and think there aren't any problems, even though I have more than six months of documented interference and alienation.  Anyone else have experience with this?

I agree.  Another possibility, when she realizes that you're serious about the fatherhood part and that you're willing to take that on WITHOUT being with her, she may find she's gotten herself in over her head and confess that she's not pregnant after all.

If she is pregnant, you have to take responsibility for the child.  It's the most important thing you'll ever do, and your child will need you.

Good luck!

Oh, and PS - Until you're married, if you're going to have sex, wear a condom.  You can't leave birth control up to the girl, because if someone gets pregnant you'll be just a responsible, no matter what she told you.  I tell my 17 year old nephew this all the time, and I had him read your post to drive it home.  :)

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Yes, you are right, there are a few development experts who would not recommend against sharing a bed with your child.  However, they are a very small minority, and their methods are still considered controversial.  If his ex decided she wanted to create trouble she could do so very easily if they are sharing a bed or a bedroom.  Our judicial systems tend to be hyper-alert when it comes to these types of situations, and they tend to prefer erring on the side on caution, and conservative parenting.  I think he might have a hard time finding a judge who would go on record saying that he supports children sharing a bed with their parents.

I'm speaking from having to defend accusations by my fiance's ex wife stating that, among other things, we allow his daughter to sleep with us.  We've had to defend in court and to therapists.  If he wants to win custody of his son he may do well to avoid these types of accusations.  While he may believe that sleeping with his son is the ideal, it won't cause his son harm to have to sleep in his own bed in his own room.  I'm sure you would agree it's a better alternative to losing custody of his son.

Yes.  Most child development experts would recommend against this, and if it came up in court it definitely could hurt you.  Especially if you're sharing a bed.  I would change this as quickly as possible.  Not just because you might be going to court, but because it's the right thing to do for your son.  He needs his own bed in his own room.