who has a tough time with mom/dad, yet alone those involved in a custody/divorce battle I'd be rich beyond belief!!!!!!!!!!
At this age it does detiorate for many reasons but believe it or not, mostly because the child (teen) in question doesn't like being told what to do. They compare their lives to peers who many times have the freedoms that this particular child doesn't, etc.
You are walking a fine line. From someone who has been there I would first recommend you try working together with your ex and come to a somewhat unified front. This 13 yr. old will play the two of you like a fiddle. Don't give her that power! If both parents are on the same page and support one another the outcome for the child will be the most optimum. Easier said than done?? In most cases yes but decide what the ultimate goal here is, I assume the child, and go from there.
IF, and I give a big IF you are successful in changing custodial parent assignments, you and your SO, new wife, new family will be in for a world of pain and shock. She won't just come there and be an angel because you feel you are a better parent. Get together with your ex and try counselling for your daughter. Let her know that you support her mother's decisions, as long as mom is abiding by what you BOTH agreed upon. If not, regroup and come up with a new plan but be consistent......this is what will make a difference!
Trust me, they all are different with each parent.....part of the game they learn to play. I heard it all from my DD who is now 23. Mom may have her issues but I can guarantee your household does too. None of us are perfect. Join together, learn how to co-parent in the best way you can (again nothing will be perfect) and let you daughter know she doesn't make the calls that you and your ex have the power.
Best of luck.
Sirena
At this age it does detiorate for many reasons but believe it or not, mostly because the child (teen) in question doesn't like being told what to do. They compare their lives to peers who many times have the freedoms that this particular child doesn't, etc.
You are walking a fine line. From someone who has been there I would first recommend you try working together with your ex and come to a somewhat unified front. This 13 yr. old will play the two of you like a fiddle. Don't give her that power! If both parents are on the same page and support one another the outcome for the child will be the most optimum. Easier said than done?? In most cases yes but decide what the ultimate goal here is, I assume the child, and go from there.
IF, and I give a big IF you are successful in changing custodial parent assignments, you and your SO, new wife, new family will be in for a world of pain and shock. She won't just come there and be an angel because you feel you are a better parent. Get together with your ex and try counselling for your daughter. Let her know that you support her mother's decisions, as long as mom is abiding by what you BOTH agreed upon. If not, regroup and come up with a new plan but be consistent......this is what will make a difference!
Trust me, they all are different with each parent.....part of the game they learn to play. I heard it all from my DD who is now 23. Mom may have her issues but I can guarantee your household does too. None of us are perfect. Join together, learn how to co-parent in the best way you can (again nothing will be perfect) and let you daughter know she doesn't make the calls that you and your ex have the power.
Best of luck.
Sirena