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We are dealing with an NCP mother who quit her job once the garnishment was in effect and was found to be $4000 in arrears at this point.

I'd like some data for this opinion: "Fathers are shown to be more understanding and cooperative to the NCP, probably because they have 'been there' more often."  I might agree with you to a degree, but I honestly think that there are alot of jerks our there, male and female.

OHHH, you are making it a gender thing?  I think it's more of a NCP/CP thing.  I honestly don't know what you think I'm twisting.  Your comment comes out of the blue and has nothing to do with my post.  

And yup, my DH was denied time spent with his kids.  It wasn't me directly, but believe me I felt the pain just as much as him.  That's why he fought it - asked for 50/50 and she ended up giving him custody.  I do have a clue!  DH did pay support though and didn't complain.  We both went above and beyond the CS award too and bought them back to school clothes and supplies and stuff.

In this case, I think it's nice that a CP wants to show the NCP that his money is appreciated.  I agree with your post that she should offer/encourage more time, but is that really the issue?  Look, like it or not, some Dads and Moms don't want to spend time with their kids.

I used the REAL bottom line because the thread was hijacked with the conspiracy theories of CS money and people telling her to offer more time instead of thanking him for the money.

I know a lot of Fathers that would want to be sole custodian but I don't know many that would want to treat the other parent the same way they were treated as an NCP.  

My post was under the original poster, WIMom.  Don't know whose "quote" that is in your post to me.  Was I talking to you?

I've been on both sides just like cathy dearie - CP and NCP paying.    We aren't discussing CP's that deny visitation or anything else.  We aren't discussing CP's that spend the money on themselves and not the children.  We aren't talking OUTRAGEOUS CS amounts.

My husband PROUDLY paid his CS, and didn't bitch about it.  We knew she wasn't spending it on the kids but DH still didn't bitch about it as it was his DUTY to provide for his children.

Now that the tables are turned, she DOESN'T WANT 50/50 custody and doesn't want to pay CS either.  I, the stepmother, have been paying way more than my fair share for these children.  Now PB has a CS order and quit her job not 6 weeks later.  It's for $360 a month for two kids.  Please tell me how that is a form of maintenance?

If you can't make an "educated guess" don't bother yourself.

Send it.  It might not be appreciated, but he will remember it one day.

What a bunch of grumpy guss' here!  When people are sooo adament that CS is alimony in disguise they are in denial that it costs $ to raise a child and IMO, these complainers are the people who give FRG a bad name.  Sure they want 50/50 custody, but many do not want 50/50 and to say, sure offer him half the time with the child sounds all nice but is unrealistic.  Some parents have even fought to have 50/50 and then still let the other parent hold the burden of parenting with giving them no money.  Not ALL father's enjoy going clothes shopping with their kids and things like that!

Some States can and some can't.  Your best bet is to be quiet about the 2nd job so the ex doesn't know.  Here's a site that you can try and find it.  From what I've read on there so far, it seems that MN is a lot like FL and if your second job is to support a second family, it can't be considered in the original CS order.

http://www.dhs.state.mn.us/main/groups/children/documents/pub/DHS_id_000160.hcsp

a lot has to do with what you are being charged with - which you never stated.


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Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

Mark Twain

and she wants to believe it's because the questions were disgusting.  Why are you defending that?

so he was playing a manipulation game with you.  I'd manipulate him right on back.  "Sure, I'll drive you there, if your Dad picks you up!"