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In the great state (yeah right) of Ohio if a mother keeps her child from the father she is in contempt of court and can go to jail and pay a big fine or at the least be on probation for a while.

My sd quit coming with us much like yours did. She just one day decided that she hated coming here because I'm mean and she didn't like having to follow rules. If we had known then what we know now we would have fought for our rights but we thought we'd have to hire an attorney and spend a lot of money to just get the rights we deserve.

My girlfriend is divorced and she has been fighting over her youngest son for custody (She has it and her ex wanted full custody of this child) and when they finally ended up in court last month she was given two years probation for not letting the dad have his son every weekend that was his. The boys races dirt bike and some weekends they traded so he could go to his races. It was all a ploy from the ex to get her to look bad.

The sad thing is there are great moms like my friend out there who end up with the shaft and then there are these crappy women who should have never had children (like the one's we ended up with as ex's) who walk around the law every single time.

If I were you I'd call the courts and see why you would have to hire an attorney to get the rights to see your child. We should have done it and maybe our bio hag would have found she didn't have as much say as she thought she did. Now we have lost all contact with this child and she blames us not her mom. Go figure. Don't let her go if you do you'll lose more and more of her and in the end the kid will be the one who loses the most.

I could have written this post myself. I read the whole thing to dh and he agrees that it sounds just like us.

When my sd was 9 she decided not to come for visits and her mom told her if she didn't want to she didn't have to. Dh had made her sit time out for treating me like dirt (this was the first time he ever did anything about it) and she said she would never come back.

Now sd is almost 17 and we have not seen her in over 5 years. She was like your sd to the letter. She has no friends and her mom pulled her from school last year because everyone there hated her and she was failing every class but art so now the ex claims to be home schooling the kid but the county office that is in charge of home schooling says the kid is doing nothing and their positive of that.

This kid makes all the rules at her house. Her mother let her get her first piercing when she was 14 and by 16 she had earrings in places most adults don't have them. She stays out all night long and her mom never knows where she is (we found this out when sd's friends mom called and reported her daughter missing and the sheriff came over the radio saying they called sd's house because she was the last person to be with this girl and the ex said she hadn't seen sd since 11:30 the previous night....this was a Thursday night and the kid had just turned 16!)

Now my advice. Dh and I didn't push to make sd come back with us. He had enough of her and he didn't really want to deal with all the crap so he left her go. Now that her life is going to the crapper and she is turning out to be such a waste we really wish we would have tried to get full custody of her. She isn't a bad kid (or at least she wasn't) and now her life is going to be nothing. She won't have a high school education come next spring when she should graduate and she has no friends and spends all her time with her mom who is her best friend but she thinks that's normal because her mom has no friends and her grandma is her moms only friend.

So if you truly can stand her take charge. Her mother already has her in therapy so she must have problems that can't all be blamed on you (my sd goes to therapy and blames everything on the fact that her dad doesn't come and see her...not mentioning the fact that the little twit chose not to visit for the last 8 years and her mom has drug dh's name through every bit of dirt that she could find).

We miss sd but don't miss the crud. We have five children together who love their daddy like crazy. Sd still whines to the family that our kids have stolen her dad away from her. Funny thing is she isn't smart enough to see he's their dad too and she's the only one who took him away.

I feel for you,I have worn your shoes. The best part for us is we only have a year and two months left to deal with the crud and we can say to h*** with the whole lot of them. You my dear still have years to go. Keep your relationship with her and don't allow her mom to ruin what you have kept going. If you chose to quit trying I understand too. It's hard as heck and people who have never been there have no idea at all what is really going on.

We have a year and two months and child support ends and we will never even tell people that dh was ever married before. It's too bad that his daughter treats him like dirt because the ex hag has brain washed her that daddy doesn't love mommy so he can't possiably love step daughter (crazy loon that this woman is) no matter if the ex has married and moved on especially with the man she had a affair with the whole last year of their three year marriage.

We have been married 11 years next month and as far as we are concerned and anyone we know he was never even married before. I can't wait for her to get in my face the next time so I can let her have it with the fact that dh never loved her so as far as their marrige goes it never was a real marriage.

That is the least that she deserves! For sure!

I would not attend because dh and I have a really bad relationship with the ex and her family. They tried to start trouble with dh's family and us so we just wrote the whole lot off. We don't need the crud.

I think if anything happened to sd even dh would not go because he would have to deal with so much crud from the ex. We could slip into the funeral home after hours to pay our respects and thats most likley what we would do.

In all fairness the ex would never be welcome if dh passed away. She started trouble at dh's grandfathers funeral and we were very close to grandpa. She just never learned where her place really is. She's very very messed up.

Good luck. I had one dd before we were married and so did dh but I was never married before and he was. When our families blended things were a mess. I was very strict with my child but he never made his mind at all saying he only had her for 4 days a month so he didn't want to disapline her. What a mess!

So I kept doing what I had been with my dd and he kept letting his chid run wild. She would purposley break rules she knew my dd would be punished for and I finally had enough. If this child was going to live with us every other weekend then she would have the same rules and punishment.

It lasted for 3 years and then she quit coming with us after she had so sit time out,thats right she sat time out and wouldn't come back. If my dd would have done the same thing she would have been swatted on the bottom but the rules were still more lax because the ex hated sd being spanked.

Now 8 years later ds is a drinking,smoking pierced wild child who lives with her mom and has no rules (she even pulled her out of school to "home school" her becuse she was flunking every subject but art) and my dd is an honor student,in sports and very well liked by her classmates and teachers.

This will be a problem until the end of time I'm afraid. :(

Good luck!

my sd did this same thing when she was nine. She lived with bm and did eow with us. One weekend she was really nasty and dh made her sit time out...a real tragic thing for her since punishment was not something she was used to as she always got her way all of the time.

Two weeks later dh goes to pick her up and her mom said she refused to go because I was mean and her dad was mean when he was with me (please...she was a spoiled brat and all she did was sit time out).

Dh went back a couple more weekend when he was suppossed to have her and every time bm met him at the door and said sd was not interested in coming to our house any longer.

Dh couldn't call her because bm was on the phone every time so there was no contact at all. We thought after a while it would grow old and either bm or sd would contact us but my mil started getting sd on our weekend (another family member that spoiled the brat to death and gave into her every whim ) and she took her to dinner and hotel sleepovers and shoppping so coming back to our house and a family where she was = to every one else would never look good again.

That was 81/2 years ago and all we hear now is what a horriable dad dh is and how he never really loved his child (from the x and her family) and the child has suffered the worst. Without us in her life to give her some disapline and stablitiy she has grown into a really rebellioius teenager who runs the streets, sleeps around,stays out all night (since she was 15!)  and has been pulled from school because she was failing and the teachers had no control over her (imagine that...couldn't be because she was never made to respect authority could it??). Her mom tells everyone that she's such a bad kid because her dad just forgot about her. ??

The worst thing dh and I ever did was let this go. Your dh's x is in contempt and can go to jail for with holding your rights of visitation. Don't let her get away with this it's wrong. Your not the bad person but that is how everyone will see it and that is what she is wanting to do I would bet.

I'm sure if you didn't give her child support your but would be in a sling faster then you could blink your eye so don't let her get away with this. It's wrong and the kids will be the ones to get hurt.

I had to laugh when you said she needed a "more specific time" when you told her 2:00 p.m.  Maybe you should have told her "When the big hand is on the twelve and the little hand is on the 2 is when we want to meet.  Hummm might still be a little too confusing for her.

I guess I don't understand why she is able to decide on supervised visits but it sounds like things are going to be better soon.

It's common knowledge that our court system has no clue about families and what is for the best. I think if they put step moms in charge things might just work out. I know my step mom had great ideas and I'd have loved for her to have the first say instead of my parents who were too busy fighting after they divorced.

The profile for dezavy says it's a male. Maybe someone just trying to get things stired up a little here since there has been no more posts from them trying to defend themselves....then again the truth hurts and if it is a woman she's going on and on about what @ss's the people here are.


It's moms like this that give a bad name to custodial moms out there who are not all bad.

Your post could have  come from my dh's ex. She decided that if sd didn't want to come visit us (because we disalpine and the ex never has) and we didn't fight it to make it easy on the child. She was 9 at the time and we thought she would come back once she learned that we were not going to kiss her butt.

Well when dh tried to visit or call his ex interrupted and made it all an issue of her protecting sd when actually she couldn't stand that fact that she no longer had any control over dh. DH quit trying to get ahold of sd because he was never going to have a relationship with his child that his ex didn't try to run.

Well she waited until sd was 16 to go for more support. We didn't fight for sd. By then she was spoiled rotten and a real disalpine case. She has been pulled from school because she was flunking out (her mom now claims to home school her) and dh and I don't really want her around our children. Her mother ruined our relationship with her and now claims that dh is a dead beat dad. I say there are plenty of dead beat moms out there who cry wolf about their dh's because it's just too easy.

It's your ex husbands right to see the child. If he has the right to pay money every week out of her pocket and never fights it then he can't be all that bad of a guy. Give your daughter a chance to have a realtionship with her dad and you'll all three be better off in the long run.

This judge is an arss! We have not been allowed to see my husbands dd for 8 years because the ex is so great at PAS and lying. It started when sd was 9 and now she is almost 17 and has heard her moms lies for so long that it's all true to her.

When she took us back for more cs last year we asked why we needed to pay more if the ex never worked and we never get to see the child and they said none of that mattered childsupport and visitation are two totally seperate issues. Other wise maybe we could just quit paying if we don't see the kid.

The power they give these people is often used against good people like us to help out people who are breaking the law to start with.

Go now and get visitation. It sucks that we have to get attorneys to get the legal rights we are suppossed to have but the ex wife just needs to contact the child support beaure and they trip all over themselves to help her get things she thinks she deserves.