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How would you get the money? would you have to spend it first then get reimbursed? For families that don't have much, that could be desaterous. And who would buy what? both could go out buy clothes to ge the money then return them to keep the money for themselves.

And who would oversee this? I mean both can't have free reign on the acocunt.  My XH would be thrilled b/c it would then become his drinking money if he could get it anytime he wanted. I don't think there is enough people that could be hired to keep track of the accounts and what it is spent on.

Good idea in theory but how would you make it work. And what if one parent doesn't contribute to the account but uses it for the chidren's "needs" when at that person's house? Then in my case, I would be supporting mine and X's household. Might as well have stayed married to him then.

but what that have to do with the need for BOTH parents to support their children?

How do you think it should be done?  If I were your ex wife, would you really pay 1/2 everytime I handed you a receipt?  You would just love the bill for this week with 2 sick kids in the house.  I spent a small fortune on diapers, pedialyte (the generic version) and food for the brat diet to try to prevent them from exploding through their diaper everytime I gave them something to eat and drink.  Or when I hand you the bill for clothes for spring and summer b/c OD needs a whole new wardrobe b/c she wont fit in 1/8 of her clothes from last year and baby needs 1/2 a wardrobe b/c most of what I had saved from OD isn't the right size. Even scrimping on under $15 items addes up really fast for both kids.

What would happen is that the NCP would decide if he/she thought the children needed this and decide they don't so he/she would say NO and say I'm not paying for something I don't think he needs - 5 outfits is enough, do laundry more often. Then are you going to contribute to my higher water bill? And what about food? How would it be decided what was for the kids and what was for me?

It doesn't matter how you slice and dice it up, it isn't going to work anyway you try to do it.  So hey, in me and cinb's case, I guess we don't have to worry b/c no CS means no conflict about it right?

B/c I am one of those in the same boat as you.  And my XH doesn't support his kids either.  And I can totally justify the CS he is supposed to pay and more each month.  Formula, baby food, diapers, food for OD, clothes, school, home. It all adds up.  His small amount that is for CS a month ($290 is CS +102 for insurance. Not much actually for CS for 2 kids a month) doens't even cover 1/2 of those costs a month.

Also, in any family, you shouldn't have more unless you can afford more.  My sister would love another child but can't afford to have 3.  Plain and simple. Support the ones you have before you have more that you can't support!!!!

All the mumbo jumbo government crap only is those who don't want to support their children justifying why they shouldn't have too!!!!

Why is it so bad to help give your children what they need? Or do you just not like being told that you have to do it?

I don't really care about all of the legals stuff that is posted about it being unconstitutional etc and why the states want it collected etc etc.

And this is coming from someone who has helped write the check when married to XH and someone who should be receiving a check (and never has!!):

CS is the help support the children.  Plain and simple. Children are expensive. It takes 2 to make the child and it should take 2 to support the child and make sure the child has what is need: decent roof over head in safe neighborhood with good to very good schools, clothes and shoes and coats etc, food on the table to eat 3 times a day.

I'm not talking about how it is actually used. We all know some use it for things that aren't meant to.  I mean providing the children's needs so they can have a good life with what is needed.  

As stated, I don't receive it and am fortunate to be able to give my girls what they need without it. If I did receive it, I would put it in an account for them to buy what they need with it and to help for extras I can't give them now. Anything left over when turns 18 could go towards what they need for college or car whatever.

What I don't understand it why the legality etc has to be discussed. Why is it so wrong to support your children? Many wouldn't give a dime if not "forced" to. Heck, many don't even when "forced" to. I do believe many pay way too much money in CS. I don't think 2 children need $500-1000 each month. Shoot, I am only to get $290 and some of that is his portion of the insurance I provide. I think that is somewhat fair of an amount for CS for 2 children without the insurance included.

I think all this talk of agencies and government etc etc only is to circumnavigate the fact that each parent should support their children. How do you think that would happen if CS is not ordered? Do you think most would willing fork over 1/2 of what is spent a month if not? Some months could be cheap but those spring and fall clothes months could be quite expensive!!!

Sic the county or state on her. In IL it is called Child Support Enforcement.  Other states have other names, but you should be able to find a site on the county website.

Join the crowd. I haven't received a dime in CS from my Ex husband and am supporting 2 young children on my own.  Probably will never get any since he owes his first wife over 10K.  Kids are expensive. Knowing her to be how she is, I'm surprised you even thought she would pay you.

Honestly, I about the situation with the GF. Maybe not live with her.  She is a huge expense with her 4 children. Don't know if she receives CS from her ex(s) or not but that has got to be alot of your money problems.  Now with different work schedules, you may not have to do day care but you must be exhausted. I don't mean to sound mean but sometimes you have to put your child first and look at what will make your life easier. It may not be the GF but something else.

Good luck, you have several more years of this. Don't know what age son is but he must be at least 10 years old.

Sicing the county on her is your best hope since you don't have money for an attorney.  Maybe them dragging her in to court several times will scare her to pay up something. Also, they can put a garnishment on her tax refunds each year so it goes towards what she owes you and you get the money. That would be a help even if not a huge amount.

insurance is insurance no matter who has the family covered.  My ex's first wife used to try to say he wasn't providing insurance for the SKs b/c they were under my plan. Give me break.  It was cheaper for me to cover them and the coverage was better. Judge didn't buy it and really didn't want to hear her "complaints" on this issue.

Now the issue is that the child doesn't have regular medical coverage. That may look bad for you.  But I would say right now, you can deduct the portion of the coverage that is for your child.  When I was divorcing, my attorney asked me how much of the insurance was for the children and then 1/2 of that amount was added onto his CS (since he doesn't have any coverage at all). He lucked out b/c most times in IL, the Dad gets to provide the coverage 100%.

So unless otherwise stated, I would deduct it for the CS calculations.

the upkeep of the home is part of taking care of the child b/c it is putting a roof over the child's head etc etc.  CS is looked on to help pay those things.  Now if she is living beyond her means that is something else but I don't think that the judge will make a deal of that.  In my experiences with ex's first wife, the judges didn't.

She can make alot of arguments for not renting that out.  Main one being that she is afraid or isn't comfortable with strangers living beneath her since there isn't a man around (that makes a woman feel safer or more at ease many times). I don't know if she is with someone else in her life or not.

Also from experience she may not want to sell the home that she worked hard to get and feels is her home. She doesn't want to uproot the child from her home, friends, school etc. Stability is the factor here. Moving to an apartment is not as good as a house for the child (in a parent's mind). If she moves to an apartment, there is possibility she will be moving from place to place on a regular basis. If she stays in teh house, the child won't be subjected to that. Many have lost custody when one factor is not giving the child a stable home. In my case, I can afford my house, in her case she can't by herself.

I am not making excuses for her. I am giving you her possible defenses to your solution.  Think about how you can react if these come up.

As stated, guideline is guideline.  Most likely she will get this increase.  However, from what you said it doesn't sound like that will be much. And as you stated renting the apartment would only save $20 in CS a month. Will the judge order way above?  It has happened in many cases.

On a side note: I have never understood why some CP's feel they shouldn't do what is necessary to give their children what they need. Most parent's scrimp and save and budget and do without to give their kids what they need and do without the extras so the kids can have them. However, why do some CPs feel they don't have to do that but the NCP should do so in order to pay more and more while the CP spends and spends?  Never understood that one.

it is going to take forever to get it changed and by then you will probably have a new job.  I have never heard the term "friend of court" but CS is done under the Department of Public Aid now.  You can call them and they will send you the paperwork.  I was told when I requested the paperwork to have my adult SD taken off, that the modification could take 6 mos to do.  In the meantime you still need to pay.  If you go this route, ask them if the modification will be backdated to the date of filing the paperwork.  Also, I doubt they will cut out all together. So you will need to find out if it is even possible to do.  I have found reducing b/c of loss of income is hard. They could go into you finding a job and proof and why did you loose your last job etc etc.  

Ask alot of questions before you decide to do this.  I would just try to pay what you can now and make it up later when you get a new job.  That is from my experiences in the past.  Others may have had better luck.

this changed a year or so ago.  Increased 2 children from 25% to 28% of net pay.

My advice is that you better make sure the check you are giving her clearly states it is Child Support (in the memo line for example) and always has or they could consider it something else if she decides to go through state for CS.

But it seems like you have worked things out well and hopefully it will continue.  Make sure you are keeping very good records of what you have paid and what you should pay etc.

or accomplish and why would someone file that.  Your post is very wordy and doesn't make much sense other than the state get federal money for CS collection.  We already new all that.  Even so, the money still benefits the children b/c it helps get the children what they need (in most cases).  Telling us to file the things stated gives us no information as to why we should file it.

Be more specific please.