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first off he needs to call the doctor's office and get a copy of the bill and then call his insurance company and get a copy of the Explanation of Benefits. While he is on the phone with the insurance company, he needs to tell them that all Explanation of Benefits need to come directly to him since he is the policy holder and make sure they have his address etc right.  This way he will know of all claims filed and then know about bills outstanding.

Then he needs to make sure the bill was covered correctly.  If the bill is $2000 I am thinking this must've been a very major procedure unless insurance didn't cover it for some reason.  He may be able to get that sorted out and covered by the insurance.

As for who pays what, it is something he needs to give to his attorney to be added to the court proceedings. It may end up that they have to split but I don't know if anything can be done about the judgement. Only his attorney can answer that one.

take your child to the doctor and get the check ups and vaccinations done yourself.

Why is it only your wife's responsibility?  As the Father you have the responsibility of making sure your child gets what is needed to; not just the Mother.

So make the appointments and take her in for these things.  Many Pediatricians have evening and Saturday morning appointments if getting off work would be a problem.

I think a judge would be asking the same question too.  Or am I wrong in thinking you and your wife are still together and married?  If not, it seems there have been no custody orders or anything and even so unless specifically stated that she has all say in medical decisions, you have as much right to take your child to the doctor as she does.

So get moving and gets these done yourself.  Is it really necessary to go to court when all you have to do is pick up the phone or are you actually moving towards divorce at this stage anyways.

she doesn't want Cassie to be happy or enjoy something at your place.  Obviously there are alot of problems since the 3 of them are in counseling.  It is jealously.

The next year is going to be hard. I can see Jenn filling Cassie's head with all kinds of lies and crap about you guys getting married and having children etc.

My advice is to be very honest and up front with her. Answer her questions and make sure you explain to her any lies she is told.  Don't pussy foot around her. If the subject of you having children comes up tell her "well, we don't have any plans to have a baby right now or even after we marry for some time. However, if it does happen, we will move to a bigger place so you and the baby can have your own rooms."  If she says "well, Mom said this..." Just tell her her Mom not is part of you and her Dad's conversations and don't know what you talk about or what your plans are for the future.

Try to keep her very involved in planning the wedding. I am assuming she will be a flower girl or jr bride maiden or something.

not his child with another woman.  You both will love this child and love each other for this child.  You know what is best for the child because you have seen what is not best.  No matter what happens, you will do the right thing because you know the consequences if you don't.

After my X and I divorced, I had concerns about him seeing the girls alone (lots of issues), but I always made sure he saw them. He would come by the house to see them or he would see them every weekend when I was at his parents visiting.  He didn't ask for visitation alone b/c his life was just not there at that time.  

I knew how bad and stressful it makes things when you are constantly fighting b/c I saw it with him and PB.  I didn't want the stress and bad feelings it brought with it.  Didn't want that to encompass my life and thoughts all the time.  It was easier to just get along, be nice and do what I should do for the sake of the girls and their relationship with him.

So don't worry about what could happen or how things could be.  This is a totally different situation.  You won't be like that.  Now stop stressing and worrying. You guys will be great parents and a lil baby will make be such a blessing in your life.

And I will say one thing, the cost of living is higher than in Florida. So the fact that he is making twice as much as in FL may just be because houses cost much more in this area.  You can expect to buy now for between 200 - 350K depending on the size and location.  My house is a 3 bedroom L shaped ranch, one car garage, full unfinished basement. 1 1/2 small baths upstairs.  Not a big house, not a tiny one.  It is worth about $222 - 250K.

I would definitely get the travel arrangements and who pays what in writing.  My X's xwife said the same thing when she moved 2 hours away.  She would do 1/2 the driving.  After she moved she had one excuse after another to not do it then finally said the court order stated X had to pick up and drop off at her house and that was that.  We eventually got it ordered in court but that was after years of doing all the driving.

CS in IL is based on take home pay. 20% for 1 child, 28% for 2, 32% for 3.....

I am also now CP.  In the past when I had an issue, I could post it here and get the "other sides" perspective.  Sometimes it helped my calm down and get better perspective on how to handle a situation I was having with the X.

You don't have to go.  There are many CPs that post on this board.

that is why her husband adopted the daughter. Her X obviously consented b/c he wants nothing to do with her.

I wouldn't spring anything on X.  His reaction to being put on the spot or the stupid things people say in that situation could be horrible for D.

by DH's role in SS's life.  The role she tried to keep him from.  And old habits do not die easily.  She feels the need to stay in control at any cost right now.  Will it get better with time.  Hopefully but I wouldn't count on it.

I can see this becoming a huge stresser in your marriage.  It is only at the most 3 more years till he is 18 yrs but it will be the longest 3 years of your life if this keeps up.  Don't let it ruin your marriage.  Start counseling the minute you see any problems between the 2 of you.

It is funny and I can't help but laugh as I read your posts b/c she has totally flipped from the CP denying role to the NCP victim role immediately.  As you stated, she did all these things when she was CP but doesn't care and doesn't want them done to her.  In your post above, she thinks you guys are denying her by SS asking her for more time with you and says you are using him as a messanger.  This is something CP's get accused of all the time.  Many times it is correct but it is strange to see how the NCP can think this when it isn't actually true and there is no changing the NCP's mind even if it is validly the child's request.

I agree with others who say do not deviate from the court order at all.  And I would try to do as much communication as you can in writing by either certified letters or through email.

And it may not be good that court date will be for her swearing at DH and now she will say he has done that to her and sight your conversation.  Your DH has to keep himself calm and in check at all costs or she will have alot to use against him and blow it totally out of proportion to make her point.

Good luck.  Get your DH a punching bag to beat up for times of conversations with her.  She's not going away that's for sure.

just be fixed and a nice big family.  Doesn't happen.  Sorry to say and sound harsh but did you really think she would go away? Did your DH "go away" when she wanted him to?  So why would she?

Did you think she would stand back and let DH and you say what happens and doesn't?  She has been CP for many years and she isn't going to just step aside and let someone else raise "her" child.

So go back to court. Get the issues clarified in SPECIFIC WORDING that leaves nothing to the interpretation so when she tries to say you are wrong, you can prove by transcript ect that you are not.  

You could bring up the issue of her involved with a married man and SS being there in that environment. You could ask for a morals clause. You could bring up that this the moral issues was one thing that caused you to get custody.  Try it.  It may work and make sure he doesn't spend nights with this man spending nights as well.

And on your homefront, you teach SS that adultry etc etc is wrong.  But do it without pointing your finger at BM or you will just raise more issues with him and BM.  Teach him all he needs to know about right and wrong.  But remember, you can't dictate most of what goes on with SS in her home just as she couldn't dictate or you didn't want her to dictate what you did with SS when she was CP.

It's not going to be an easy road and many have found this out after getting custody.  You think the sks will move in with you and you will change them and mold them into better people.  That won't happen over night and sometimes not at all.  It is very hard to change the habits and thinking of children when that has been how they have been raised till now.

Good luck.  Maybe counseling would be good for SS with some of the issues.

b/c I don't think many could go threw as much as you have and still be as strong as you are and still married to your DH.

All I can say is that boy is damaged for life b/c of his BM's actions and wonder if there is something that can be done to her but it would probably be pointless.

And your poor boys.  I hope they are healing from this abuse.  It must be very hard.  I wish you all the best and hope that you and your boys will be OK someday soon.

And good for you telling off the in law family. Must've felt really good.