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Messages - greatdad

#111
If you mean father with Sole custody(?) as I am, be prepared to learn and accept help from everyone. Be very open minded, ask lot's of questions of other "moms" they will bend over backwards to help you. Yes, it can be embarrassing at times, but after a while you will get over that.
Other than your schedule to be at work on time so you can remain employed , all else needs to revolve around the children's schedules IE: getting up earlier than they to get ready so you can then get them ready for school, daycare etc. You will need to prepare meals in advance, do meal planning when grocery shopping, anticipate seasonal changes for buying clothes on sale in advance. You will need to get used to doing laundry, dishes and attending to your needs after they get to bed at night.
It sounds overwhelming, but once you make it your new routine, it really works and becomes what you do. You merely replace old behavior and patterns with the new ones. Remember to include the children in as much as you can , so they feel a part of things. That way it isn't like a spectator sport...they get to participate and it will feel much more natural. You will also be surprised at how helpful they can be and how rewarding it is to spend that time together.
OH..........get used to being cash broke, but love rich,it truly is the time you spend with them NOT the money!!!!

I first thought- can I do this, then how can I do it, then I just decided to just do it realizing that the only thing I could control was me and failure was and is not an option where the children are concerned. You can do it...........find your faith, find your friends and trust yourself.
#112
>
>>Thanks for the imput, but you're just defending yourself and
>>what you're doing. You obviously do not have young daughters
>>of your own to be concerned for. If you did and took a
>moment
>>to read the newspaper, read statistics, watch TV, you would
>be
>>concerned with any other man being in the house with your
>>children, it only takes one "nice" guy to change a life.
>>They're all nice guys until found otherwise.  I have no
>>problem sending the women I see home at the end of the day,
>>they have a home and I have one for that reason,(and it's a
>>sign of respect towards the children)  I can spend the night
>>without my children being involved on off nights.  If it
>isn't
>>so wrong then why does she have to sneak him in?  
>>Sure I may be very "emotional" about this, but sometimes
>>that's part of being a parent, the worst part is saying "if
>I
>>had only done something sooner".  If we don't watch out for
>>our children, you can bet there is someone out there that is
>>watching them.
>>
>
>Sorry, but you're no longer in the position of being able to
>watch your daughter 24/7. When you divorced, you and your
>ex-wife each became responsible for your time.
>
>You can ask the court for an order for no overnight guests and
>that's not terribly unreasonable. But you're not in a position
>to start making implied accusations like the above. Your ex
>WILL have someone new in her life and that's no longer any of
>your business.
>
 I disagree that it is none of your business........it is your business when and /or IF it negatively impacts your child.Just because your divorced it does not relieve you of you legal and moral obligations to make decisions and judgement calls in the best interest of your child.
It is a cop out to say get over it, your divorced.
My caveat will be, that this is when it pertains to the effect on the children, as I do agree that what the ex does ( as long as it doesnt negatively affect the child) is not your affair. Just be sure your properly analyzing your own motives and do what is right, whatever that may be.