Messages

>If stbx can not show that she's a full time student or
>disabled, courts are generally quite willing to impute minimum
>wage for 40 hours per week.
>
>As for changing the driving requirement, that's a toss up.
>First, stbx says she has no income and they're imputing
>minimum wage (while you presumably have a greater income), so
>the court may consider it an unreasonable hardship for her to
>have to drive further. OTOH, they're not going to want to
>force you to jeopardize your job in order to drive. They might
>consider less frequent visitation (with longer visitation in
>the summer and school holidays to make up for it) or they
>might ask her to drive further, but reduce the amount of
>support she pays to make up for the extra driving expense.
>AFAICT, it's anybody's guess. Given that the amount of support
>they're going to have her pay is minimal, you might consider
>waiving support if she does all the driving or finding some
>other compromise to present to the judge so no one gets a
>nasty surprise.

STBX's increased drive time will only be about 5- 6  hrs round trip twice a month. In anticipation of non cooperation my atty has offered her atty 3 options. 1 she can pick kids up several hours earlier if she drives to childcare, 2 I will meet her at the same time as usual just not as far down or 3 I will meet her an hour later a bit closer to the normal rendevous, so all in all I think her not choosing 1 of the 3 options will cause the judge to deem her completly uncooperative and likely grant me my choice...whay do you think ?

On support, because I pay all bills including daycare (over $1000 a month) and all insurance (including stbx until final) and I just incurred a 50% pay cut, her portion will be substantial even at min wage.Under oath she said she lives with family and has no living expenses !! So I can't see a judge looking for me to waive any support just because she will have to drive  further, after all she is also getting added time with the kids too.

I am looking for educated guess on outcome. I am well aware judge's can do whatever, so don't need to hear that, want solid opinions of those who have been there.
I am sole ( phs & legal) pendente lite, have been for a year already. STBX moved out of state, has been working and when I went for support stbx quit working> Had to file motion to compel discovery to which responses were inadequate, especially on income and assets. My atty has requested supplemental discovery to which stbx atty refuses to respond. We will be filing 2nd motion. Question here is if we ask judge to imputeto at least 40 hrs at min wage, will he?Stbx will say she is going to school now, although hasn't provided discovery showing that. Stbx has not paid $1 toward support since she left.

Next, stbx has EOW visitation, but it is  a 600 mile RT for kids eow. I have changed jobs and now cant get off early eo friday to be at the meet spot as before , no longer a boss, new job and new schedule.  i am going to motion to amend schedule so that stbx ( remember is claiming unemployed now!) will have to drive further to get children at scheduled time. The childrens travel time is same no matter who's car theyre in, so they are not experiencing any further issue,only inconvenience will be to stbx, but she will get to spend more time with them in car. I know she will object, so what do you think a judge will do, after all I am sole custodian and sole source of income?

>What state are u in?

Virginia.

>
>anyway it seems to me that she has hung herself, they can
>argue it's not there fault that you may be asking for some
>crazy amount of support and you are the one not cooperating.
>how will the judge determine who is or who's not?   he or she
>probably would not be able to determine that, and it really
>doesnt matter beacuse the mere fact that she is not sending
>anything regardless of what you two could or could not agree
>on should piss the judge off and your attorney should really
>play that out strenthening your status as custodial parent.
>dont push the issue with her for support let it come back
>before the judge without her sending a dime for the children
>and sit back and watch her and her attorney get a good tongue
>lashing. and  have  your attorney prepared to ask for child
>support based on the states guideline plus arrears payable by
>income deduction.

Judge told atty's to agree on amount and enter a seperate order. My atty worked it up according to guidelines under the premise that she was only earning  the small amount she , as "claimed" but not yet supported by documentation. We still haven't received discovery and have to file a 2nd motion to compel.
 Her atty refused to even respond to my attys letter trying to confirm the support amount, so now we are going to ask that the Judge just go ahead and order it.
My issue is that won't the judge see that here is an NCP mom who is working, knows that support is a  legal ( if not moral) imperative and both ignores the court, has an atty that ignores another atty  and doesnt send a dime....just creates more legal bills intentionally.
I hope that after 2 motions to compel and having to have support ordered that they will impute at least a 40 hr week at minimum wage since she never supplied discovery to support the claim of less hours or pay ....and hope they will award atty fee's and court costs to me, as none of this is my doing.
Unfortunetly she has an atty who is churning fees by tellling her to never ever talk to me, run everything thru her. I try to tell her that if we can talk and agree on things THEN tell your atty and they will draw up the agreement, but after a year, it is still all atty all the time.

I have sole legal and physical custody, have had for a year. Divorce still not final though. NCP has had 2 motions to compel discovery without complying, now NCPs atty has ignored communication from my atty to agree to support amount to be paid to me ( judge asked attys to agree to the amount then present order) so were asking court to go ahead and order it as drafted.
Question is will this not make NCP look really bad, and will judge factor the above lack of cooperation by her and her atty into decision at the final if she tries to change custody ? It is amazing that even knowing support must be paid , she is acting like it doesnt exist. It isnt even a large amount of money.

I have sole legal and physical custody, have had for a year. Divorce still not final though. NCP has had 2 motions to compel discovery without complying, now NCPs atty has ignored communication from my atty to agree to support amount to be paid to me ( judge asked attys to agree to the amount then present order) so were asking court to go ahead and order it as drafted.
Question is will this not make NCP look really bad, and will judge factor the above lack of cooperation by her and her atty into decision at the final if she tries to change custody ? It is amazing that even knowing support must be paid , she is acting like it doesnt exist. It isnt even a large amount of money.

>>STBX has had EOW visitation , which has been a real
>hardship
>>on children and I, as it is 650 miles and 11 hrs round trip
>>EOW.The expense of gas alone without any support has been
>>rough. STBX was self employed at 1st hearing when she lost
>>custody and said had 0 income.Then I found out had been
>>working for past 8 months and it took this long to get back
>to
>>judge who just ordered CS to me. STBX claims is in school so
>>only works less than 15 hrs a week and am pretty sure she
>will
>>not pay the little it will be. To me it would make no sense
>to
>>change sole custody as how can someone who hasn't made any
>>decisions in the childrens lives the past year and resides
>in
>>another state realistically have joint custody, even with me
>>remaining sole physical? This is an STBX that has
>consistently
>>refused to cooperate or discuss anything including holidays
>>without forcing it to go to attorneys. Doesnt court look at
>>the ability for cooperation?
>
>Personally, I don't see a change in custody.  But I do see a
>change in the visitation plan.  
>
>It will probably go to the long-distance parenting standard
>visitation.  Which, IMO, is hard on small children.
  I would like to amend it to once a month to travel the children and STBX could visit locally the 2nd time each month.Dont know if court will accept ?
>also push for your stbx to bear the brunt of the
>transportation costs since she was the one who moved away.  
How do I formulate that  as now she will be ordered to pay CS, but gas costs around 160 a month for the EOW trips right now.

>
>The EOW, with that distance, just isn't good for your kids.  I
>wish you luck in your court hearing.

STBX has had EOW visitation , which has been a real hardship on children and I, as it is 650 miles and 11 hrs round trip EOW.The expense of gas alone without any support has been rough. STBX was self employed at 1st hearing when she lost custody and said had 0 income.Then I found out had been working for past 8 months and it took this long to get back to judge who just ordered CS to me. STBX claims is in school so only works less than 15 hrs a week and am pretty sure she will not pay the little it will be. To me it would make no sense to change sole custody as how can someone who hasn't made any decisions in the childrens lives the past year and resides in another state realistically have joint custody, even with me remaining sole physical? This is an STBX that has consistently refused to cooperate or discuss anything including holidays without forcing it to go to attorneys. Doesnt court look at the ability for cooperation?

Father has sole custody pendente lite and it will be more than a year
 ( that I have raised the children on my own) till final divorce hearing.STBX left and moved to another state a year ago.In an 2nd pendente STBX was ordered to pay CS. Children ( 4 & 7)have flourished in past year while with father. Since  custody is temp until final decree, if STBX tries to make an end run at custody at final
( to get out of paying CS),since over a year will have passed, what "realistic" chance would STBX have,wouldn't  STBX need to  demonstrate substantial change, and wouldn't it  have to be something extraordinary and that would be be in best interest of children  beyond the excellent environment they are currently in, other than she just wants to have them because she has now become settled? Anyone have experience with similar situation in Va ?

I have sole custody. My issue is that STBX has days off, therefore time to work more, just doesn't !. Also theoretically the court is supposed to place the needs of the children ahead of the parents  career plan and choosing to be in school  just as they find out that support hearing is impending, were talking about a grown woman here, not someone in their early or late 20's. I guess the upside is that once ordered, while it may be hard for me to increase, it will be just as hard for STBX to decrease?
If non payment occurs can drivers license be revoked in NC/SC ? I hear most states do that now

So STBX enrolled in school and now claims only works 15 hours a week. Worked much more until heard child support was on the horizon ! Then quit and got lower paying, less time working job. STBX has a weekend day and weekday off school and work, so I think should be made to work on that day. atty thinks since STBX is in school judge won't impute and that it will cost more to fight than it's worth. Anyone have experience with this?