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Topics - Savant

#1
Whenever my ex and I have a difference of opinion about the kids and I refuse to do something her way, she always says "You know that once the kids turn 15 then they will be able decide for themselves where they want to live."  
She has said this soooo many times (she uses it like a threat; she is hinting that they will naturally want to live with her since she is more lenient about rules).  

Now I thought that the way it worked was that when the kids reached a certain age, then the courts may or may not choose to consider the kids' input when reviewing a case- which is not the same thing as the kids being allowed to choose for themselves what they want to do.  Can anyone shed light on this so I have a better understanding about how it works?  It seems that dragging them into things and asking them to take sides or "choose" could cause serious problems, for instance it could easily serve to reinforce and reward alienation behavior.
#2
First let me thank everyone here who has been giving advice.  This is my first post here, but when my XW filed for divorce a year ago this place was very helpful for me to read through for information.

Here is my question, I'm sorry it's a long one.  Right now we have a 3-4-4-3 split arrangement at the advice of a CFI.  At first I was skeptical that this would work since I was a full time SAHD before the divorce.  But the 3-4-4-3 split has been good for me- I'm starting to get a life outside the home again yet I still get to see my kids frequently and be a Dad to them.  It has taken me some time, but I have finally more or less adjusted to this schedule, and the kids seem to be doing as well as can be expected under the circumstances.

Well, now my X has told me that she wants to change to a new job, new shift and new schedule.  She said that the kids are telling her that they only want to have one home and not two, and she says that they have been telling her that they don't like being switched back and forth so much.  Strange that they haven't mentioned this to me, when I have a very open relationship with them both.  The "solution" my X has presented is this;

She suggests that I have the kids each day and she has them every night.  This way she can work during the day, and since I work from a home office I can pick the kids up at school and keep them until she picks them up after work and takes them to her house.  She said that even though child support is determined by overnights, that she would write up an agreement that this would not change child support as it is currently calculated.  She suggests that I would have the primary bonding time while they are awake, since she would mostly have them while they are sleeping.

Does anyone else see any huge red flags yet?  She wants me to believe that this will be for my kids' best interest.  Basically it seems to me that she wants me to be a day care and nothing more.  Tucking the kids in at night is a very special bonding time for me.  Home is where you lay your head at night.

I told her that I did not like this idea and she got quite angry.  She accused me of trying to stunt her career growth and forcing her to keep the schedule she currently has (swing shift working weekends).  She said that this is a very common arrangement for 50/50 custody situations.  I told her that I'd never heard of anyone doing this in a 50/50 custody situation before.  She said that I needed to do more research.  So here I am, doing more research.

Has anyone ever heard of this arrangement before in a 50/50 custody situation?  Besides the obvious fact that according to the state, custody is determined by overnights so I would in effect be giving her 100% custody of the kids, except for a piece of paper which is essentially meaningless, I would basically be allowing the precidence to be made that she is their primary (or even sole) caregiver, would I not?  Does this scream PAS to anyone besides myself?  Am I wrong to be so concerned by this suggestion?  I appreciate any and all thoughts on this.  Thanks!