Messages

>Dear Soc:
>3 yrs 6 mos and 4 days ago, my husband saw his children for
>the last time.  His, now ex-wife, fausly accused him of sexual
>abuse towards one of his daughters.  She filed charges against
>him the same afternoon she found out he was having an affair
>with me.
>
>I can only say that the battle was horrible.  In order to stay
>out of prison my husband gave up his house and negotiated with
>his ex to have the charges reduced to a misdomenor.  As of
>this date the solicitor has yet to pick up this case.  DSS and
>family court closed the case.
>
>In the court orders my husband was required to take a test
>from a physcologist. and that his daughter had to be seen by a
>counselor.  It was set up that he would have supervised
>visitation if he complied with the court order.  He did this
>willingly.
>
>Unfortunately we had to relocate after the evaluation , My
>husbands father was ill and needed fulltime care.
>
>the way that the court order was written it ended up giving
>the ex the right to say yes or no, and also to the 9 yr old
>daughter.
>
>The devistation that this arrangement has had on my husband is
>pitious.
>He has tried to commit suicide 5 or 6 times, he has been
>hopilalized 4 times for a breakdown.  He is unabel to work to
>pay his child support which also causes extreem stress on him.
>
>
>He writes, sends gifts, calls her grandparents to check on her
>but all efforts to bridge this chasm of dispare have been a
>failure.
>
>At this time we are so broke that we are living with my
>parents and I have a job that gets us by.  
>
>The child has suffered so bad that she is now in therapy twice
>a week.  He feels that she is being counceled for the wrong
>reasons.  We are sure the she is afraid to have contact with
>him because of what she has been told by her mother.
>
>We cannot afford an attorney and there is no one willing to
>guide us through this ungodly hell that has become our life.
>
>We could really use a helping hand on what to do.  My husband
>unfortunately is so afaid that his ex will try and put him in
>jail again that it is hard for him to follow through with any
>action I suggest.
>
>Anything that you can suggest would be greatly apprcieated.

You're not gonna like this, but based on your facts as posted, my suggestion is that you tell your husband to stand up and start acting like a man or you're gonna divorce him. He's messed up because he didn't fight for his rights -- instead he gave in and let his ex walk all over him.

He continues to ad insult to injury by engaging in self-destructive behavior. And, you are being regularly injured as a consequence of his continual playing the victim.

>Fact:
>
>Temporary custody was converted to full custody after 6 months
>in a final hearing. Notice of the final hearing was sent to me
>and my lawyer, as claimed by the other party, but we have not
>received it. As a result, I was declared a default.
>
>Questions:
>
>My lawyer said that we cannot file motion to modify custody on
>the ground that we did not get notified about the final
>hearing.
>
>1. Is my lawyer correct?

You're not filing to modify, you're filing to set aside based on no notice. Trouble is if the other attorney claims he mailed, then it is presumed that it was mailed. You could have looked in the court file and found the notice.

>2. How do I obtain from the ex or her attorney the proof of
>mailing?

The notice will be in the court file.

>3. What can I do to address this "fraud"?

You don't actually know it's a fraud. It could have been lost in the mail. The question is whether or not there is evidence that the court did not hear that would cause it to rule differently. You could move to reconsider/set aside or file an appeal, but your time for both may have already passed.

>4. You may recall I was the father from NJ who had joint
>legal/joint physical from a NJ court. This was thrown out by a
>TX judge. How does the "Full Faith and Credit" clause apply to
>my case? Can that still be used?

It doesn't apply. The TX court obtained the right to redetermine custody when all parties and the child resided within the state. You were run over, but it was legal. Your ex obviously planned it all in advance.

You got beat by a superior strategist. Live and learn.

>
>

>
>           Here's my situation:
>5 1/2 year marriage to grifter with 21 month old twin boys.
>Temp. hearing was in Oct. Judge granted temporary joint
>custody with pbfh mom getting kids M-TH, me getting them
>F-Sun. I am totally clean with the exception of false DV and
>sexual assault charges filed against me by stbx. There has
>been no allegations or accusations of violence by my stbx
>until after she was served with divorce papers.
>She has the following: well-documented 5-7 year drug addiction
>to prescription drugs, including 3 failed attempts at rehab.
>DUI arrest with trial pending where she had morphine and
>codeine in her blood (trial pending). Arrest for 3 felonies in
>another state for non-violent crimes (ie, nursing
>fraud--impersonating an R.N, possession of forged nursing
>license, etc.). Driver's license suspended for failure to
>report an accident. (prior to marriage). Conviction for 3
>counts of writing NSF checks. 5-6 other small claims/personal
>injury/insurance fraud cases. All crimes were committed before
>we were married and she failed to tell me about them. The
>nursing fraud charges occured after we were married but I
>didn't know about anything until a few months ago. Affadavits
>from other men (including her 1st ex, her bio father and bio
>brother) saying that she made false accusations (both sexual
>and violent) against them.
>My question is this...is that enough for sole custody w/
>supervised visitation for her?

Maybe. The evidence suggests a pattern of criminal behavior that is potentially harmful to the kids. You must show how it is harmful to the children in order to make your case.


>And what is the likelihood of
>getting an annulment due to the fraud of her hiding her
>criminal past? I've been hearing that the mother has to either
>be dead or unconscious for a father to get sole but I'm
>wondering what everyone's personal experience is.
>

You will not get an annulment because a person has no duty to reveal their past prior to getting married. If you could show that your agreement to marry was in reliance on assertions by her that her past contained no criminal  behavior, then you might have a case for annulment, but proving this without a written document would be a practical impossibility.

>
>  
>

>I share custody of my 9-month old son after a temporary
>hearing (in SC) back in July after BM kept him from me (for no
>reason) for several months. I get him every other week.
>
>The Order clearly states that neither parent should have
>anyone of the opposite sex in the home overnight when the
>child is present. She immediately found a new b/f and he
>obviously lives there with her. She doesn't even hide the fact
>from me. (This has been her MO for years as I found out
>later.) I don't care about her relationships (well I do a
>little) but based on what I found out about her past (recent
>criminal activity, 2 other custody battles for her 2 other
>children by other fathers, how she uses the children against
>their fathers, drug use and drug test ordered by the court,
>etc.) I am concerned for my child. She was recently evicted
>again and also won't meet with the GAL who has written to her
>lawyer as he is frustrated and he is leaning toward my side.
>
>I suspect that I can gather evidence (hopefully the GAL will
>witness the b/f there also) perhaps using a PI about her clear
>violation of the court order. I just wonder how much weight
>this carries in another temp hearing or final hearing. In her
>previous 2 custody cases she had been held in contempt several
>times yet just received the 'threat' of a fine or jail.
>Apparently she knows the system very well. In fact, one charge
>from 2000 is still around in that county as she never paid
>that GAL and left the State.
>
>1.  Is it worth getting the evidence and presenting it at the
>proper time (e.g., another temp hearing) about her obvious
>disregard for the court order (i.e., having the b/f there when
>my child is present). We think also that the GAL would support
>me in trying to get my son full time.

Absolutely! The evidence suggests a pattern of flaunting the court's authority, and this will affect how the court rules in future situations.

>
>Thx!

>I am in the process of obtaining information from various
>places (police, child protective services, school and outside
>counselors) to re-gain custoday of my 3 minor children,
>however, CPS/Schools & Counselors will not give me reports
>unless it is ordered by the court.  How do I request to the
>courts that I need this information for my trial?  Without
>this information I am sure to lose!  Yes!  I am attempting to
>re-gain custody without a attorney.

You don't request that the court do anything. You get subpoena in blank issued from court clerk and you fill them out and serve them on the various parties asking for what evidence you require.

This is a complex process. Go to the county court library and ask the librarian to direct you to a practice guide that covers civil procedure and subpoenas...or hire a lawyer.

>Dear Soc
>
>I have temp. physical custody.
>My stbx has asked daughter for her diary.
>My daughter puts stuff in there every day.
>Going thru alot of alienation, and stbx asked for her diary.
>She is up to something, but do not know what.
>
>1.  We are going thru GAL and wondered if the Gal could use a
>child's
>personal diary as fact against me.  (I have no idea what's in
>there)
>


What diary? We don't have no stinking diary!!

>Dear Sir,
>
>We are going to court tomorrow for the bogus charge cp brought
>against ncp.  We received a call Friday, in route to pick up
>children from cp for weekend visit, from an GAL that had been
>appointed by the judge hearing the case tomorrow.  GAL had
>already talked to school counselor about aledged charge and
>counselor told him that in her opinion the children were
>coached.  
>
>GAL requested we bring children by his office before we took
>them home this past Friday, which we did.  He spoke with ncp
>and the children separately.  The GAL told ncp that he found
>no reason for the children to be afraid to visit ncp and that
>the charges never should have been brought before the court
>and that he felt like the children were being used as pawns.
>
>What is upsetting us is that Saturday night, youngest child
>got upset because he was told not to run through the house.
>His comment to ncp was, "Dad was right, you are lowlifes!"  He
>is very confused and showing so many signs of stress and
>alienation at this point.  My question is:
>
>1.  Can we inform the GAL that cp is practicing parental
>alienation and interfering with the parent/child
>relationship?

I would let it go. You already have the GAL on your side. This new issue probably won't even come up at the hearing.

>
>2.  What is the best way to address our concerns to GAL.
>
>3. Can we call him by phone to express our concerns?
>
>
>Thank you!

>Good morning,
>
>background; i'm currently married in a short term marriage
>with no minor children, in Florida, however my wife has become
>partially disabled.  We are having difficulty in our marriage
>and we have discussed many different things, my wife wants to
>file "petitioner for support unconnected with dissolution",
>bascially the support she is requesting is the exact amount of
>our mortgages, thereby no matter what happens in our marriage
>the house is taken care of, however, I am concerned about my
>existing child support order.
>
>1.  If I enter into a Settlement Agreement to pay this support
>will the Judge deny it since its a short term marriage?

The judge will probably sign it.

>2.  Can I then file a copy of the judgment for support in the
>other child support case and petition for a modification with
>the other support as a legal reduction to my income?

Yes. The other party can ask that the court not give the order any credit, on grounds that both of you continue to live in the same residence. To successfully use this approach you need to assert that you are living apart from each other.

>3.  Can the Mother of my child fight the order on support to
>my wife since we are not officially divorced? or since its an
>actual order does she not have a leg to stand on?

See above.

>4.  Can the Mother of my child fight the order stating that
>the child was born before my marriage and therefore child
>support calculation come first and the order should not be
>allowed to reduce my income?

No. But she won't need to.

>
>
>Thank you so very much for reading over this, I'm just a bit
>nervous over the whole situation....

>Hi, Soc!!!!!
>I posted this before but I don't know what happened to the
>post or if you were able to respond to it. So here it is
>again:
>
>Our BM went and filed false allegations against me with Social
>services again claiming that I hit Sd and general abuse her.
>This is like the fifth time she makes false allegations
>against me either with the courts or with social services. So
>I was reading FL statutes and was wondering:
>
>1) Can I use the allegations against me to file criminal
>charges against her for perjury? Does that apply?

This is up to the District Attorney or the judge in the case. You'd have to file a complaint.

>2) If not a civil suit for libel, defammation of character or
>something?

Defamation is a false and injurious statement published to a third person. Your statement that the other parent complained to social services, and that they found nothing of substance could work as evidence to prove the false publication.

But, you will need to show that you were actually damaged from the false reports. I don't have sufficient facts to analyze this.

>3) Any suggestions to get her to stop making these heinous
>accusations and using my kids as the means to her end?

Sue for defamation. Take her to small claims and sue for the max. You'll probably get a judgment for something. hopefully she has a job or some asset to execute against, otherwise you will have nothing but a piece of paper.

>Thanks Soc!!!
>SM

>Soc,
>Here's a new one I've never seen before.
>
>How do states deal with out of state visitation issues when
>the child is on probation and not supposed to leave the state?
>
>
>Do they just forfeit the parents rights to see their child or
>do you think special arrangements could be made?
>
>The child live in North Carolina and we live in Maryland.
>
>There are no formal visitation arrangements, no court order.
>
>Thanks

Since there are no custody or visitation orders in effect, the criminal/juvinille court order controls. You would need to file a petition for custody/visitation, first, and, as a court order exists that already restricts the child's movement, your petition would be subject to that existing order.

In short, you're pretty much screwed, unless you visit the child within his/her home state.