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Hey guys!

I am looking for a Florida form to file to temporarily reduce CS while the court hearing is being done.

It seems there is no retroactive reduction in the State. I saw form 12.947 (a) and it seems right, but I am not positive.

Can anyone help?

I asked Soc about this but I wanted some "non-legal" advice.

DH lost his job. He is filing today. It is possible for him to borrow the money to pay his support at the old rate he is but it would add insult to his already very hurt ego. DH's idea was to pay the highest possible amount that the court would make him pay until the case is closed.

Soc says that he has to keep paying the amount that he has until the case is finalized or get an emergency reduction.

What do you think would happen if he pays the new calculated amount?

Thanks
Ref

Dh will be filing Pro Se.

Say the court takes a couple months to order the modification, does DH get credit for the amount he overpaid since filing?

When he files the modification, does he also file the CS calculation sheet? He doesn't know BM's income so would he just file a financial affidavit and wait for her to file hers?

The form also asks why this modification is in the best interest of the child. What should he put? "If her father is made poor by unfair child support payments he will no longer....be able to survive at all?....be able to afford to see her.....???

BM owes DH several hundred dollars (I know that is small change compared to what some of you are owed). Should he file contempt at the same time for these things?

I know BM will PAS even worse when she isn't able to live off of DH's sweat. How have you combatted it? SD is 14.

Thanks for your help. (It is a shame that I can be this sure that many of you have gone through this already)

Ref

Dh has been under the threat of being laid off fo years now, but now it seems like it might happen this week.

Any advice about what he should do as soon as he gets laid off? He will not be able to get a job in the same field or at the same pay level because the whole industry is not doing well.


Thanks
Ref

SD goes to a therapist a little less than once a month. Insurance covers the expense. BM has not told DH of any diagnosis, it is assumed none. SD gets upset every now and then, but is a teen with parents who don't get along. Nothing unusual. Grades are usually A's and B's. She has a good amount of friends and stays out of trouble.

DH pays for all medical bills. (physical co-pays, prescriptions etc...). He pays half of all dentist bills. Does he pay for mental health co-pays as well? BM studied to be a therapist and loves the thought of SD going to one.

His parenting agreement states that he pays all "reasonable and necessary medical expenses".  Is it necessary if SD only goes less than 1x a month and has no specific diagnosis? Is it even medical?

The state is Fl

Thanks,
Ref

DH's Ex LOVES to argue about everything. This time it is CS, again. They settled out of court (like the judge wanted) on the amounts and such. She is now getting almost twice as much as before. It was agreed on that DH would pay the processing fees to go through the court. This information is in a letter signed by ex. No legal docs have been prepared yet.

BM stated that she would get the docs completed (through free councel due to her low income). Now she has the docs drafted and told DH that she put in the docs that the payments will be to her directly.

Ofourse DH would rather it go through the court, but is there anyway that he can cover his butt and send payment directly to her? He would like to avaoid conflict as much as possible because of BM's tendency to screw with SD's head when they disagree.

Thanks

DH and BM went to mediation for him to increase visitation. He got pretty much everything her asked for. At the end, in the usual fashion of the BM, she  pointed out that she would like to discuss CS, with a smirk. DH agreed. The mediation agreement called for them to work it out on their own, if that doesn't work they are to go to mediation and if that doesn't work they can go to the court.

BM will get an increase. Not a prob. The only issue is the most common on this board, BM hates work. Government housing, welfare, the works. DH detests the thought of SD's CS going to mom's liquor.

The mediation agreement was signed by the judge about a month ago. BM hasn't brought it up until now. Kinda. She filed her financial affidavit with the clerk of the court. The agreement says that they are to share financial information, but does DH have to fill out this detailed report, or can he just offer her the info that she requests? She has yet to speak or write to him about this and he has not received her financial affidavit.

The mediation agreement has no timeline. When would the clock start ticking for the adjustment? Should he be socking away money as soon as he gets her affidavit or would it only start if it goes to court?


Thanks everyone!

Last month DH went to mediation for change in visitation. He got everything he asked for minus 1 week. BM decided to pull out the "big guns" and try to discuss CS mod at the same time.

Bottom line. Mediation agreement states that they are to make reasonable efforts to agree on CS and make available all financial info to each other. If they can't agree on their own, they have to go back to mediation before seeking the court's help. BM has not called or written a single letter about CS in a month since the mediation. Is it DH's responsibility to start talks, or can he just wait until PB starts?

when they ask you about the details of the court case that the other parent is telling them about. What do you say when they overhear the other parent yelling at you over the phone and saying things like "She is a WONDERFUL CHILD" as if you had just said otherwise or "Stop abusing me!!!" when you didn't say anything at all.

SD is starting to beleive that DH is a monster by the lies his ex is telling her and the horrible things she is screaming at my DH when SD is in earshot.

Do we explain to her that there are tow sides to every story. Do we explain that if you hear one side of a phone call, you miss alot of whta is going on?

How do we handle these things with SD so that we are not outwardly accusing her mother of the disception that she genuienly is pulling?

Please give us some advice on how to discuss these things with SD. She beleives that DH is bullying her mom in court. DH tells her that it is an issue between him and her mom and that she should not worry about it. The problem is that BM is telling her that DH thinks she is a child and that it is HER life too and has a right to know. Now DH looks like th bad guy and like he has something to hide ontop of making him look like her doesn't respect SD.

She is 13.

There are a few things my SD does that concern me. She is 13.

1. She lies all the time. Not big lies. She lies about how her friends think she is the smartest, prettiest etc. She lies about dreams she didn't have. She lies to cover-up bad things BM does (smoking etc). She has been a story teller since I have known her (8+ years)

2. She has a blanket she brings with her whenever she spends the night.

3. She is fanatical about lipstick/balm and beuty products to the point of mild panic if there is none around. Also something she has been doing for 8+ years.

4. She fakes illness to avoid responsibility. She has a headache if she doesn't want to swim. Often her back hurts (her mother has a back problem) if she doesn't want to do physical activity.

I know it is not extreme behavior, but it seems real odd. Some seems obsessive (lotion and lip balm), some seems like she is not behaving at her age level (sleeping with the door cracked, blanket) and some seems like she is extemely insecure (lies about how other people percieve her).

Any advice?

Ex told DH that she is going to allow SD to choose how long she wants to spend with us during the summer. She has also told her about events that she wants to do (that she probably wont do anyway) with her over the summer. Now she has put the decision to chose between DH and her on the shoulders of a 13 year old. She did the same thing to SD last year and it caused SD to get very upset, as well as DH.

There are now legal proceedings going on now because of her actions last year.

The bottom line is DH said that she should not make her choose, but Ex is going to anyway.

Ex is also studying to be a counselor or a psychiatrist.

I was hoping you could offer some advise on how to ease that burden on SD without backing down. Also, do you have any counselling books that says that you shouldn't make your child choose. I am hoping to appeal to her "counselling" side.

Thanks

Happy Valentines Day!!!!!


Ref

Court was 10/30.

Attorney gave OC draft of final order to look over in early November. OC asked for a change in wording. (wanted the word "sufficiant" to be replaced with "superior"). Attorney gave it back immediately. OC has not responded or filed.

I don't want to bug my attorney anymore to get on OC's case 'casue I don't want to rack up my already steep legal bills.

My attorney has advised me to act as though the order is final and start paying lower support (as ordered by the judge).

1. Is it me, or does 2 months to file the final order seem excessive?
2. Is it really OK to pay the lower support even if the final order is not filed?

Ref

DD has her driving permit from the state of Florida. She will be in PA for her winter break.

1. Is it legal for her to drive in PA with a Florida permit?


Ref

There are no restrictions on the parenting agreement. Joint legal custody. DD has a valid passport. Our plans are to take DD to Canada this summer while in my custody.

Admittedly, this is question came up because I was watching Judge Judy yesterday and there was a case the NC took the 17 yo DD to Mexico and was arrested for kidnapping . Charges were dropped but JJ said it was an agreement between Mexico and US that a parent needs explicit written approval to take the child to Mexico by the other parent.

1. Do I need written approval from BM to go to Canada with my daughter?

Ref

Soc.

How does this work? I filed for a decrease when I lost my job last year. Since then he has started his own business. Based on distribution amounts, he his making slightly less then he was when they last negotiated an increase.

Apparently BM's attorney filed a suplimental petion for 2 counts of contempt and modification of visitation BUT she did not file for an increase in CS. Apparently it slipped her mind and only realized it when my attorney called her on it.

1. Can my CS increase is no motion to increase was filed or is it more likely that it will be the same until such a motion is filed?

Thanks
Ref

I am the NCP and reside in NC, CP and children reside in PA, designated meeting spot is VA.

Holiday Visitation Guidelines:

Thanksgiving = even number years children are to be with NCP from 2pm on the day before Thanksgiving day until 2pm on the day before school reconvenes.

Christmas = every year children are to be with NCP from 2pm on December 26th until 2pm on the day before school reconvenes.

NCP and CP are to meet at designated meeting spot on above days at above times.

My problem is the CP is pregnant and has a C-Section scheduled for December 7th.  She has informed me that she won't be meeting me in VA for the Thanksgiving or Christmas visitation times.  Her reasoning was it isn't safe for her to travel during Thanksgiving and her doctor has adviced her not to do anything for 4 weeks after the baby (which is by her new husband not me) is born which blocks out Christmas as well.

She did tell me if I wanted to see the kids I could drive all the way to PA both holidays and get the kids and bring them back to PA at the end of the allowed visitation times.  I can't afford to do this so this has become a major problem for me.  I want to be able to spend what little time I've been granted with my kids but yet again she has to make it difficult.

1) Will a judge enforce the court order even with her having a C-Section so close to those dates?

2)  Is it likely that the judge will make her find other arrangements to get the kids to VA if a doctor gives her a note stating she can not travel?

Any advice is much appreciated.

Thanks  

I started an LLC w/ my partner in January 2006 after being unable to find a job for 2 months. When I was laid off, I filed for a reduction in CS due to my fear of not being able to make the kind of money I did before. Although the business was started in January 2006, I continued to collect unemployment until February when I was sure that the business was something that could sustain me and my family.

Since the start in January, my parter and I only started taking distributions in April and continued until August. At that point, we were not able to distribute until a very small distribution in October.

My lawyer is saying that the judge will annualize my income from April until August, maybe October and not include January through Mayrch in the calcualtion. This will cause my CS to substantially increase at this point instead of stay the same or go down slightly.

My ex's lawyer also asked for all payments from January through March and I provided her with copies of unemployment deposits, not the earned but not paid distributions.

I was wondering if providing the judge with the accrual basis entry would allow him to see that the amounts paid were earned in January- October not April through August.

1. Should I pay back the unemployment amount? I was still keeping an eye out for a job that had more security than the business.

2. Do you think the accrual information would get the judge to see that it was earned since the beginning of the year?

3. How about my LLC paperwork showing that we started the business in 1/2006 NOT April?

4. Would partner meeting minutes dated in the end of January showing that distributions are to be accrued on a monthly basis starting January help?

Thanks Soc.

Ref

Hi Soc.

I have court in about 3 weeks and I've been keeping an eye on the clerks page in my county to see if there has been any changes in the case.

The case is CS decrease due to my losing my job in 10/05 and subsequently starting a company after not finding employment. My company is doing well and my partner and I are distributing everything that is not necessary for the sustainablility and future growth of the company. Dispite all of my efforts, I am still not making the same money as I was prior to my old company closing its doors. I have disclosed all of this in my financial affidavit. BM also started working for the first time in 10 years. She now has her master's degree and is working at a respectable level.

She countered for a decrease in visitation and two contempt charges related to my illeged non-notification of overnights out of our home and illeged denial of HER visitation.

Something was entered two days ago called a NOTICE OF TRIAL DUCES TECUM.

1. What is a NOTICE OF TRIAL DUCES TECUM?

2. What types of things should I be looking to do for that?


Thanks!

Ref

I just wanted to send you a quick thank you for all the the help you have been to so many of us.

Right now I am preparing for court on October 30th and I am going in feeling fully prepared for anything that can be thrown at me (as much as anyone can), thanks to your help over the years.

I can't imagine anything that has helped me through such trying 15 years as your guidance.

Best wishes to you and your family

Ref

Hey Soc.

I forgot to add my state estimated business taxes (I am a partner)on my financial affidavit. I did include a copy of the cancelled check with the affidavit. I emailed my lawyer to tell him about this error before he even received it and he passed the issue to his paralegal.

She (the paralegal) emailed me back today saying that she would find the state income tax info off the internet and calculate it. First of all, I already had an accountant calculate it for me. Second of all, I already paid it and sent a copy of the check with my affidavit to her. Third of all, she only had my personal income information (distributions). She has no way of being able to recalculate my estimated state taxes.

Now I am afraid they are going to bill me for her trying to be a tax accountant.

1. If I have a problem with something the paralegal did, can I call my lawyer and ask not to be billed for her time doing that?

2. Is it normal practice to bill for phone calls with clients regarding billing issues?

3. Would this type of request be looked at as me being difficult? (I don't want to piss-off my attorney before court)


Thanks
Ref

Jurisdiction: Florida

Hi Soc.

I am a 49% owner of an LLC. This is our first year. We have been taking distributions throughout the year at about the rate of how much I might earn in the open market. We have been doing well, but had a couple times of tight cash flow. We decided to limit our distributions so that we can save some money and are not tight on cash in the future.

I filed for a decrease in support last October (when i lost my old job) and will be going to court for it the end of this October.

My K-1 will look like I am making more money than I am actually bringing in, because we have decided to put aside some money for a rainy day.

1. How is income computed in relation to K-1's and distributions?
2. Is there a better way to structure the company so that the calculation will reflect what money I am actually taking in?

Thanks
Ref

On another board, a poster told me that in Florida it is forbidden to get retroactive on downward mods. I thought it was only forbidden as to any retro adjustment PRIOR to filing date. After the filing, it is up to the judge.

Could you help settle this?

Thanks
Ref

A few years ago I asked BM to help me get a passport for DD so that my wife and I could take her to a wedding overseas. BM agreed and we made the short trip. We were on the ground for 4 days. DD called BM 3 times to let her know she was OK.

When we got home I had messages on my work voicemail, home voicemail and cellphone with her stating that I would not allow DD to call her the one day that she didn't call when we were overseas. She yelled at the receptionist at my work saying I have her child (as if I kidnapped her). She called my mom and yelled at her. She really went overboard. I didn't know until afterwards that BM asked DD to call her everyday. BM never asked me and my daughter said nothing. Even so 1 day without a call isn't horrible. I go weeks without hearing from DD and BM doesn't see to care about that.  BM left me a message saying that she would not allow overseas trips ever again because of the "stunt" I pulled. I have no such limitation in our court order.

Anyway, I was an idiot and sent DD back with her passport to her mother's house. Now BM has the passport and we have another family event overseas that I would like DD to go to during the time she is with us.

1. If it is not in the court order, can she state that the child is not to leave the country?

2. How do I get the passport from her steely grip?

3. We are currently going through CS mod and she filed visitation mods and contempts, can I tack on that I want custody of the passport? (BM doesn't even leave her state, not to mention the country)

4. If not, how do I proceed?

Thanks Soc.

DH filed for CS decrease in October. BM's attorney has already filed for 2 discoveries, a month apart each. BM countered for decrease in visitation and 2 unfounded contempts. Judge ordered mediation.

Mediation date set for June. BM changed her mind saying she has a work conflict. She is a therapist. Her conflict is a seminar apparently that she booked this far ahead.

Is this enough to warrent this case to be stretched out even more???

Thanks
Ref

BF filed for downward mod of CS in October. BM's attorney has asked for discovery twice and refused to set a trial date until info was received. BF sent info immediately hoping to get this resolved quickly. She finally agreed to schedule trial in March.

Judge ordered mediation instead. Lawyers for both parties agreed on a June date. BM now changed her mind and needs to reschedule because of a work conflict.

BF is getting married in the summer, has daughter in his state (1500 miles away from BM) and has vacation planned with daughter and honeymoon scheduled.

BF feels that BM is prolonging the original child support amount because it will most likely be lowered and to disrupt the wedding and vacations.

1. What kind of work conflict would be reasonable to reschedule? Is the mere fact that it is a work day enough?

2. Is it usual for something like this to take over 8 months, in your experience?

Thanks
Ref

Hi Soc

My attorney and my exwife's attorney agreed months ago in writing that mediation would be a waste of time and money due to the hostile relationship that my ex and I have. I just received a copy of the judge's order for us to go to mediation. I don't believe the judge was notified of our lawyer's decision to forgo mediation. Additional extenuating circumstances are that i live 1400 miles away and it would cost much more than the average person to go to a failing mediation.

My ex has also lied about almost all of her counter suit (I filed for mod for CS and she countered with contempt and mod of visitation). Evidence is easy enough to obtain of her lies and her attorney knows that. I think her lawyer might be realizing this and changed her mind regarding the mediation.

The case started when they closed the whole East coast offices down at my old company. I lost my job and there is no way with no college or experience outside the industry that I would make the same $$.

BM quickly countered with 2 contempt charges (both easily proven wrong) and a request to take some of my visitation away (one week at the end of the summer with an open ended request to lower it as the years go on based on her preference and half of my 3 day weekends, which I have none per our parentng plan) Obviously all frivolous. She is also asking for lawyer fees and court costs. I had no intention on hiring an attorney until she filed contempt and visitation mods.

1. Is it too late to petition the court to forgo mediation?
2. Based on the info given, do you think it would be best for me to seek relief through the court or give in to mediation?
3. Would it be reasonable to ask for legal fees based on the fact that I was Pro Se until the contempt and visitation mod were filed?

Thanks
ref

State : Florida

I believed that when I filed for CS modification, I would be able to get my future obligation adjusted for the overage I have paid since my initial filing date.

I have been paying about $800 a month since filing in October and I estimate I should be paying about $300 a month based on the calculations.

My attorney said to me (I hope I misunderstood) that the retroactive adjustment would only be as of the date the court date was set.

BM's attorney is stalling through discovery requests and it has taken a little longer to get the date set. My attorney said that the judge likely will consider retroactive to filing date because of this.

1. Would the adjustment be as of the date I filed for modification or the date the court date was set?


Thanks
Ref

Hi Soc!

In my parenting agreement it states that I am to cover DD's health insurance. I have been responsible for 11 years now without fail. I am currently in the process of getting my CS lowered due to losing my job.

I have paid COBRA for 2 months in advance. DD was covered until January 1. My wife put DD on her policy in January. I told BM that this was what I was doing in a phone call in November.

She just wrote a letter to me stating that she told me in our last call that she was now covering DD under her policy. She never told me that she was going to do this and had no right to do so. Even though it is easier and cheaper for me to have my ex cover DD, she is asking that I reimburse her for her insurance costs . I am afraid to have DD taken off my wife's policy because it would violate our parenting agreement.

My exwife constantly lies. She stated that I am perpetually unemployed and that is why she refuses the decrease in CS when I have been employed fully for 11 years.She states that she doesn't receive calls that I had made and she lies about contents of out verbal conversation.

She is a liar and I can't trust her. I have been sending letters by FedEx to make sure I have confirmation of delivery. She stated that she will refuse them because the return address has my wife's name on it. I changed it to show my name. Then she said that the FedEx guy knocks on her door too loud and she wont accept them even with my name on it.

I then sent her letters by certified mail. She has now simply stated that she will not accept any communication from me unless it is untrackable. She demands plain US postal service. No delivery certification (she just rejected that), no anything. I can't trust her not to lie. I can not do this.

I sent a copy of DD's itinerary for her Xmas break to BM's attorney asking her to forward the information to BM so that I have proof that BM received it. She refused to sign for the certified letter I sent.

She has taken DD to the Dr for a checkup and bought meds. She sent me the bills for these. She told me to send her a check (she is entitled to reimbusement)by regular mail, no tracking. I am ok with this because I will have the cancelled check as proof.

Questions:

1. Should I keep DD on my insurance even though she is now covered by BM?

2. She can't make me reimburse her for covering DD twice right?

3. Is it in her rights to refuse to accept normal certified mail?

4. If not, what can I do to enforce it?

5. I was thinking of using the checks that I send BM for reimbursement as proof of delivery. Cancelled check =  letter received. Any suggestions on how to make sure this is good enough evidence?

Thanks for everything Soc!

Ref

Dear Soc,

You have been wonderful helping me figure out how to deal with my job loss and subsequent modification of child support filing and how to deal with my ex's vindictive subsequent visitation modification and contempt filing. I have an attorney right now who is giving me very upsetting advice.

I was working with a different attorney in the firm before. He was the "owner" and I suppose he hired or partnered up with the one I have now. This "new" (he actually sounds older) guy is giving me the confusing advice. I was hoping you could help me out.

State: Florida

Regarding Child Support Modification

Fact:

1. I was involuntaily let go because of restucturing
2. I spoke to several people in my field and they say they are not hiring (nothing in writing)
3. 90-95% of the jobs on Monster.com state that I need a Degree or experience in an industry that I don't have. ( looked at 50)
4. The 5-10% that I might qualify for pay about $19,000 - $45,000 a year.
5. I was making about 65k at the old company but at my last Child support change I was making $95,000.
6. I pay $265 a month in healthcare for our daughter
7. My exwife voluntarily quit a job about 3 years ago that paid $30k to continue her schooling.
8. She now has her Masters and is woking minimally for $8/hour.
9. The same company that she is working for has dozens of jobs on their webpage that she is qualified for, although all the higher paying ones say "salary based on experience". The one that she is over qualified for that they do have a salary is $26k.
10. I decided the only way to have a chance at making the same money I did before, is to accept a coworker's proposal to start a company together.

PROBLEM:

My attorney stated that I should be paying the $800/month in child support because at $40k my GROSS income would be $3700/month and based on the scale, I should pay that much. Florida calculates on net income, they also go by % income. They also deduct for healthcare. He did not consider BM's income at all in this or the healthcare.

I also pay for the travel expenses. BM moved away many years ago. She agreed to deduct some of the costs during our last modification. It comes to about $250/month minimum.

Regarding Contempt

I sent you a very length listing of noncompliance that my exwife is guilty of doing. Many of it you stated was a waste of time and would just anger the judge. You said that there were 3 items that I have a good chance of getting.

The first was $300 court order for her to reimburse me for legal costs associated with not appearing at a deposition. The second is for $375 that she owed me per our agreement for unaccompnaied minor fees that she is supposed to split with me. The last was for her not notifying me of illnesses that my daughter has. She missed 15 days of school over it last year.

My attorney simply stated that I should be dealing directly with my daughter and not with my ex because she is 15 years old. He said that he didn't see the need to file for the contempts, not even  mentioning the monetary ones.

Soc, my ex sued me for bogus contempts. I feel like if she is going to drag me into court for BS that I should at least have the gripes that I have been holding back on for the sake of peace heard.

REGARDING MY ATTORNEY"S ACTIONS

I received the depressing paperwork yesterday. In it it shows communication with my ex's attorney and my answer to her petition to decrease my visitation. He never discussed filing any of this with me prior to sending it.

QUESTIONS:

Child Support

1. Would the Monster.com job listing be enough to prove that there are no jobs that I can qualify for makign the kind of money I did before?

2.  Is it reasonable to state that my income should be imputed at $35k ( about the middle of the range of jobs I am qualified for).

3. Is it reasonable to impute my ex's income based on the $30k job she had prior to her Master's degree?

4. There is case law to support deducting visitation costs. Why isn't my attorney taking that into consideration?

5. Should I be concerned that he calculated my CS based only on my gross income and not my ex's and my net income?
 
Contempt

6. I understand that my reasoning for going for my contempts is emotional based on her filing the bogus contempts and the reduction of visitation, but is is truely unreasonable?

7. Why would he be trying to get me to drop the contempt charges?

MY Attorney's Actions

8. He doesn't seem to care about my interests at all. How should I talk with him to get him to be as interested as my old attorney in my case?

9. Is it common for the attorney to file and discuss issues with the other parties without client's consent?


Soc, I am really scared. I can't afford to pay this amount in support anymore. There is no way I will get a job that can pay me the way that I was paid before. Now my ex is really trying to screw me by taking time with my daughter away from me and filing these bogus contempts. My attorney is not listening to me. He is treating me like I started my company to avoid paying support instead of me trying to make MORE money than I could in the market.

Thank you for all of your help

Ref